Once upon a time, there was a crow chilling on a tree branch. He looked below and saw a black pig and said out loud:

HAHA! Look at this pig, he looks dirty.

The pig looked around and finally realized it was an equally black crow who was poking fun at him. He responds:

Oh, it’s just a pathetic filthy little crow.

The crow became offended and shouts:

Who are you calling filthy? Have you taken a look at yourself?

The pig clapped back:

Have you?!

After a string of arguing back and forth. They walked over to the nearest pond to see determine who was the lesser attractive animal. They stared at their reflection, looked at each other in detail and remained silent for a while. Then the crow happily spoke up and said:

There’s nothing wrong with having a dark coat!

The pig happily agreed:

Yeah I think black is a good look!

Moral of the idiom: Don’t judge someone else before taking a good look at yourself. Additionally, just because someone has similar traits to you, does not also mean it’s a good thing.

In the 800 BC, during the Zhou dynasty, there was a man from the country of Zheng. (Modern day center of China). 

One day, he was working so hard he ripped his shoes. He says: oh no! I'll have to run into town and buy myself a few pair of shoes. 

He carefully measured his feet with a string and head out to the marketplace.

When he arrived at a shoe merchant, he saw plenty of options but noticed he left his measuring string back at home. He tells the merchant he'll be right back, and frantically runs back to his home.

He goes back home, retrieves the string and heads back to the marketplace. Unfortunately, he wasted so much time running back and forth that the merchants have all started to close up shop. The poor man did not get to buy a new pair of shoes.

Depressed, he sits down and laments. Villagers came up to him and asked him why he didn't just try on the new shoes on the spot. He responds: the string is more accurate measurement of my feet, I am sure of it. My feet are unreliable. 

That is the end of the story.

Moral of this idiom: do not be so rigid and stick to conventional thinking while ignoring the reality

This story took place during the warring states in the country of Qi. The leader of Qi was Qi Xuan Wang. We can call him King Qi for short. He enjoyed raising roosters for cock fights. Terrible sport, but that's because there were no street racing, boxing or other competitions for him back then.

He hired a cock-fighting expert named Ji Sheng Zi to train his pet roosters. But King Qi was an impatient dude so a few days after training began, he went to bother Ji Sheng Zi. The trainer said "No, this rooster is not ready."

King Qi returned a few days later to check on his roosters hoping that they'd be ready for fighting. He bothers Ji Sheng Zi again who responded, "This rooster is still not quite ready, he's easily angered and still needs more training."

King Qi's patience grew weary and he returned a few days later to ask the trainer. This time, he was surprised that Ji Sheng Zi said "Yes! This rooster is mature enough to fight!"

Finally, King Qi was able to bring his prized rooster to the fighting pits. 

Fighting between roosters is more than just aggressively attacking each other. There's also a mental aspect. You can't tell but the roosters are silently insulting each other and playing psychological mind games with each other. 

This particular rooster was so well-trained that he would maintain his composure no matter how much the opposing rooster would instigate it. King Qi's rooster would stay so still that it looked like a wooden chicken! The opposing roosters would stare at King Qi's chicken and be confused at its wood-like demeanor and all be too afraid to fight. That's how King Qi's rooster would go on to win numerous victories. Thus, the story behind "Dumb Like A Wooden Chicken."

Moral of the Idioms: Just because something looks dumb does not mean you should neglect its potential

Dong Shi Xiao Pin

说春秋时候，越国有个名叫西施的姑娘，她非常美丽、漂亮，一举一动也很动人。她有心口疼的疾病，犯病时总是用手按住胸口，紧皱眉头。因为人们喜欢她，所以她这副病态，在人们眼里也妩媚可爱，楚楚动人。 西施的邻村有个丑姑娘叫东施，总是想方设法打扮自己。有一次在路上碰到西施，见西施手捂胸口，紧皱眉头，显得异常美丽。她想难怪人们说她漂亮，原来是做出这种样子。如果我也做这个姿势，肯定就变漂亮了。于是她模仿西施的病态。结果人们见了原来就丑的她，现在变成这种疯疯癫癫的样子，象见了鬼一样，赶紧把门关上。

During the Spring and Autumn period, there was a beautiful girl who lived in the country of Yue. Her name was Xi Shi, one of the 4 beauties in Chinese history. She was so freakin' beautiful that everything she did was perceived to be beautiful. Even when she winces from her chest pain she looked gorgeous...painfully gorgeous. Because everyone in the village loved her so much, whenever she was in pain and grabbed her chest, people thought it was rather adorable. 

A few houses away, there lived her girl named Dong Shi. She was on the entire opposite spectrum as Xi Shi. Dong Shi was not very beautiful to begin with, but was someone who kept trying to improve her outer beauty. One day, Dong Shi saw Xi Shi grab her chest on the street, and assumed that it was something "beautiful" people do. So, Dong Shi began to grab her chest for no reason at all. Instead of people perceiving Dong Shi as beautiful, people only saw her as crazy. Whenever they saw Dong Shi running around the street, they'd run inside their homes and shut the front door.

MORAL OF THE IDIOM: Improper imitation CAN have the reverse effect than what you're trying to achieve

JI MAO SUAN PI

Once upon a time, in China (obviously), there were two neighboring families. One family slaughtered chickens for a living, and the other ran a restaurant...a very garlicky restaurant.

The family who slaughtered chickens had to pluck the chicken feathers every morning and would leave their floors a mess. The family with the restaurant would peel garlic and leave the shavings all over their floors. This mess took place almost every day. 

Now, when the wind blows, sometimes the chicken feathers would fly over to the garlic side. And other times, the garlic peel would find itself being blown over to the chicken feather side. Both families would get upset and blamed the other party for the mess. Even though both are technically responsible.

They brought this issue up to the magistrate who immediately dismissed the problem as soon as he read: chicken feathers and garlic peel. 

Ever since then, the Chinese would refer to trivial matters as "chicken feathers and garlic peel."

Moral of the idiom: don't wait for small things to turn into something big

ORIGINAL IDIOM: 鸡毛蒜皮

很早以前，有两家邻居。两家生活很艰苦，卖鸡的要早起拔鸡毛，弄的满地全是毛。卖蒜的要早起剥蒜皮，弄的满地都是蒜皮。

本来两家相安无事，但一刮风就出事了。刮东风时，鸡毛会吹到卖蒜的家院子里。刮西风时，蒜皮会吹进卖鸡家的院子里。两家会经常为这些事争吵。

有一次，两家矛盾升级了。卖鸡的和卖蒜的打起来了，双双负伤，最后对簿公堂。县官一看是为了 “鸡毛” 和 “蒜皮” 这样的小事，便说 “这等鸡毛和蒜皮的小事也来对簿公堂！每人十大板，回去反省吧！“ 后来，鸡毛蒜皮便传开了。人们渐渐用来形容那些琐碎，不起眼的事，或价值很小的东西。

按图索骥：AN TU SUO JI

This is a funny idiom about the most famous horse expert in China...Bo Le. He was a resident from the country of Qin. He recorded everything he knew about horses in an anthology of books called "Shiang Ma Jing." Which was like an encyclopedia on thorough bred horses. His writings could be used to find the fastest, strongest horse...mostly for military/sporting purposes. 

Bo Le had a little son who was obsessed with finding the finest horse on his own. The little boy had thoroughly read the "Shiang Ma Jing" over and over, inside and out. One day he went off to look for a horse on his own. Shortly after running outside, he was SO sure he found a horse that matched the description in his father's books. The boy threw the horse into a sack and excitedly ran to show it off to his father.

Bo Le's son took the horse out of the sack and waited for his father's validation. Turns out, the horse in the sack...was a huge toad! Bo Le laughed and joked to his son: "This horse of yours sure likes to jump, but I don't think anyone can ride it!"

Moral of this idiom: don't always stick by the book (or the rules) also, get your information from multiple sources before coming to a conclusion

ORIGINAL IDIOM: 按图索骥

伯乐是春秋时最会相马的人，他总结自己多年相马的经验，写成一本书，叫 “相马经。” 他的儿子把 “相马经” 背得滚瓜烂熟，准备 “按图索骥” 照书上的标准，去寻找千里马。

几天后，他儿子高高兴兴地回来了，对伯乐说：我找到千里马了！这马和 “相马经” 讲的差不多，就是蹄子不大像。说完，他从布袋里倒出一只大癞蛤蟆来。

伯乐苦笑着说：你找来的这匹马，喜欢蹦跳，可驾不了车呀！

This idiom is about a silly man named Du Hsuan and how he found a snake in his cup of wine when he attended the magistrate's party. The magistrate was a man who loved to encourage his guests to drink so Du Hsuan had no choice but to comply. Shortly after, he got sick...really sick. He called the doctor, but the doctor could not properly diagnose his problems. 

The magistrate thought it was a bit strange that Du Hsuan disappeared for a while so he paid the sick man a visit. Du Hsuan INSISTED there was a snake in his cup that night of the dreadful party. The magistrate was curious so he returned back to his mansion and contemplated the scene of the "crime." He poured himself another cup of wine, and saw...to his amazement, the reflection of a bow that was hanging on his wall. That darn reflection was the reason Du Hsuan thought he saw a snake in his cup. 

The magistrate went back to Du Hsuan to reveal that there was never a snake in the cup...it was just the reflection of a bow. And just like that, all of Du Hsuan's "symptoms" disappeared.

Cheeses Christ.

Was he sick or not? How can the fake symptoms seem so real?

MORAL OF THE IDIOM: Our mental state state has a very direct effect on our physical state. 

In other words, the placebo effect is real. So real. Chinese folks will also use this to describe somebody who likes to scare the shiet out of themselves. I give the "Bloody Mary" example because its a dumb game I used to play to scare myself. That's a literal example of me trying to look for a snake in a cup. 

鹬蚌相争：YU BANG SHIANG ZHENG

This is a fantastic parable about a clam who wouldn't let go of a snipe, and the snipe refused to let go of the clam. 

The snipe says to the clam: If I don't let go today, and I don't let go tomorrow, you'll get de-hydrated and I'll be seeing a dead clam on the beach tomorrow.

The clam says to the snipe: If I don't let go today, and I don't let go tomorrow. You'll simply starve, and I'll be seeing a dead snipe on the beach tomorrow.

Little do they know, neither of them are winners. They're both about to be dinner. (Oooo that rhymes!)

MORAL OF THE IDIOM: Learn to let go of the things before they consume you.

This idiom is a fantastic parable about 5 blind men who all touch only a part of an elephant and insisted they saw its entirety. Be humble. Allow the possibility that you could very well be wrong about something.

从前，有四个盲人很想知道大象是什么样子，可他们看不见，只好用手摸。胖盲人先摸到了大象的牙齿。他就说：“我知道了，大象就像一个又大、又粗、又光滑的大萝卜。”高个子盲人摸到的是大象的耳朵。“不对，不对，大象明明是一把大扇子！”他大叫起来。“大象只是根大柱子。”矮个子盲人摸着大象的腿说道。那位年老的盲人却说：“唉，大象哪有那么大，它只不过是一根绳子。”四个盲人不断争吵，都说自己摸到的才是真正大象的样子。而实际上呢？他们一个也没说对。

叶公好龙：YEH GONG HAO LONG

During the Spring and Autumn period (771-476BC), there was an official from the country of Chu by the name of Mister Ye Gong

Mister Ye was famous for being a huge fan of dragons. His ceilings would have paintings of dragons, the beams in his house would be carved with dragon designs. All four walls in his home had paintings of dragons.

His reputation for being a dragon-enthusiast spread to the dragon deity in the heavens. This real-life dragon was humbled by Ye Gong's devotion and thought: hmm, I must pay this Ye Gong fellow a visit. 

So the dragon deity flew down for an unannounced visit...determined to meet Ye Gong face-to-face. But here's the thing about dragons, when they descend from the sky, they are followed by thunder, lightning and a heck of a lot of wind. 

As the dragon approached, unbeknownst to Ye Gong, the heavy wind and rain caused his windows to fly open. As Ye Gong went to shut his windows, he was shocked to see a giant dragon face. A REAL LIVE DRAGON was staring right at him. Cheeses!

The sight of the dragon was SO tremendous for Ye Gong that he let out a blood-curdling scream before fainting on the spot. 

Moral of the idiom: Sometimes, you think you know and love someone/something, but you have NO idea. You really have to live or experience it to have a deeper understanding. 

ORIGINAL IDIOM: 叶公好龙

春秋时，楚国有个官员自称叶公。

叶公喜欢龙在当地出了名的，家中梁柱上雕着龙，墙上画着龙，被上绣着龙，简直是个龙的世界。天上的真龙知道了这事，非常感动，决定亲自去拜访叶公。真龙下凡，风起云涌， 电闪雷鸣，叶公赶紧去关窗，正好和探头进来的真龙打了个照面。真龙双角耸立，两眼闪亮，好不威风。叶公吓得大喊一声，瘫倒在地上。

大家知道了这件事，都说：叶公喜欢的是似龙非龙的假龙，而不是真的龙啊！