Efab? Who you talking to?

I love the idea of “love” and I love “love” for other people. It’s such a magical, beautiful thing to see and bear witness to in your loved one’s lives. I also know that I am capable of an amazing love deep down in my soul. There is no doubt in my mind or heart that I was at some point very tender, caring, and attentive to my past partners. Historically though, I keep giving my magnanimous love to the wrong people. So for me, love hurts, it is scary, and it has scarred me. --> There is nothing wrong in admitting that love hasn't been as smooth for me as finite math or AP Physics. LOL!! --> This podcast is related to this blog post -->  https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/12/27/dont-let-your-heart-wake-up/ --> Go check it out and tell me what you think. As always follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB  ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

I wanted to grow up so bad. Why? Being an adult means you are constantly putting out fires. You are constantly writing emails to advocate for fair treatment, fair pay, fair healthcare, etc… Adulting is hard. Why the hell didn’t someone warn me like 75 times? Do not get me wrong. I'm not telling kids and wayward young adults not to grow up. PLEASE DO GROW UP AND BE AN ADULT THAT STANDS ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS. We need more accountable adults in the world. However, hitherto, and forthwith ... adulting is hard and it causes me to overthinking everything. Especially as a parent. My next move, always has to be my best move. ... and boy have I made some mistakes finding that wisdom. This podcast is related to this blog post --> read it here --> https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2021/02/24/adulting-is-a-hustle/ --> As always follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB  ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

Growing up in Chicago, sometimes you experienced colorism and texturism inside your family. Yet when you went outside of the home and when you looked at American television, you experienced colorism, racism, texturism, and featurism 24/7. This episode just unpacks some of the things that I had to unlearn. I want Black American to know that we are beautiful. Bar None. Our beauty, talent, and humanity takes away nothing from any other ethnicity, creed or race. We have every right to celebrate, adore, exalt, and enjoy who we are -- as God made us. This podcast episode is related to this blog post:  https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/12/28/being-black-american-and-feeling-beautiful/ --> Go check it out and tell me what you think. As always follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB  ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

First of all, Happy New Year. I hope you are well. Thanks for being in this space with me. I appreciate you. Let’s get right to it. For those sadistic little golden monkeys spewing the “if you didn’t hustle harder in 2020, the hustle ain’t in you” rhetoric, I have 3 words for you.. EAT A [BLEEP].  Do you know that people lost family members in 2020? Fathers, Mothers, Brothers, Cousins, Husbands, Wives, Children. They lost big. We all experienced collective trauma due to the virus itself, isolation, and the astounding ineptitude of the government. Hustle? When? We were trying to survive. -- this podcast is related to the following blog post --> https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2021/01/03/hustle-harder-bs/ -- Go check it out and tell me what you think. As always follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB  ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

My last podcast episode was on October 16, 2020. The last quarter of 2020, a part of me "tapped out".  I had enough creative energy for the #photoadaychallenge #cherisheveryday365 project on Instagram. ( You can visit me at https://www.instagram.com/efabuloushb/ ) I did not write much on my blog. I was suspended in air just navigating my way through health challenges, the pandemic, parenting, and I had some personal things I was mulling over. There were moments of absolute joy and happiness in that quarter. It wasn't all bad, but the motivation to talk to myself in a microphone was not there. Oooooh, but I'm back at it. I'd like to think what I'm saying is important. Perhaps it is not. Perhaps it is, just to me. I don't know, but I found my motivation - FOR NOW. Don't know how long this creative or creating streak will last. Let's pray that it does.   As always follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB  ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

What I found so magnificent (for me) during my 30th year virtual high school reunion is that I started to humanize my classmates in a way that garnered more empathy and due care. They were no longer names ingrained in my traumatic teenage tactile memories. They were Mothers, Fathers, cancer survivors, teachers, Reverends, activists, and for those who were close to me, I realized they were my surrogate family. Read more about my musing of 30 years gone by at:  https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/09/06/thirty-years-ago-i-graduated-high-school/ --> Follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB  ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

I do NOT want to hear anything anyone has to say anymore. All the talking heads, subject matter experts, and gurus are endless. They are also full of shit. Life is hard for us working class Black American folks. Toxic positivity isn’t going to magically solve our oppression or ease the weathering from endless white and POC anti-Black microaggressions at work, in our schools, and within the country’s biased healthcare system.  Life is arduous enough and for a Black American parent raising their child in the age of MegaRacism, Voltron, and COVID19, we are saddled with never ending worry.  You can read the entire blog post at:  https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/08/09/meh-moments/ --> Follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB  ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

As I laughed with my Auntie Shirley, I mentioned how Black Americans have been suffering over 400+ years of employment, medical, social, fiscal and educational apartheid. I mentioned how it used to hurt me so much when my Mother used to look at the scars from picking cotton that were ingrained in her hands and burst out in tears. She some times would cry and cry and cry into the night. Just looking at her hands triggered some very hurtful memories. As we talked, my Auntie said something that literally brought me to tears, “they used to pull us off the school bus and make us pick cotton”. And just like that, I was quietly balling on the other end of the phone. I didn’t let her know I was crying, but that cut me deep. You can read more about my Mother's story over on my blog at: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/07/23/they-pulled-my-momma-off-the-school-bus-to-pick-cotton/ --> Follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB  ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

For the last half of the year, I’ve experienced a huge CREATIVE BLOCK. I’ve also questioned what I’m doing in the blogger-space. At this time I find it arduous to get lucrative opportunities as a Black Mom Blogger. Perhaps it is because I’m not one of the social archetypes set aside to limit the humanity of Black women. In this episode, I'm musing about why I have creative block. However, you can also read about on my blog:  https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2019/12/11/creative-block-and-being-a-black-mom-blogger/ --- Let's pray that I get my mojo back. Right now in this quarantine. It inconsistently ebbs and flows.  Follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB  ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.