Éist: Grief, Shame and Finding Your Way Back to Yourself

For nearly twenty years after a stroke, my teacher Eddie Kelly couldn’t really play. And he still brought his fiddle to the sessions.

He’d tuck it under his chin, and the bow would hardly move. But you only had to look at his face. Every tune that went round the table, he was playing it in his head, right along with everybody else.

Some people found it hard to see him like that. I saw a man at peace.

For Samhain, the old Irish new year, I tell you about the chairs families set out by the hearth for the souls coming home, and the coals we raked over with ash at night, so the fire would keep till morning. All night it looked as if the fire had gone out. It hadn’t.

Sit down. There’s no hurry.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome to Éist
00:39 The fiddle Eddie carried
01:17 Playing in his head
02:21 A world of his own
03:16 A man at peace
04:21 How long you’re here, and how much peace
05:02 A word that makes me wary
05:42 Samhain, the old Irish new year
06:25 The fire under the ash
07:20 Keeping it close
07:47 Marian’s Return

Music: “Marian’s Return”, composed by Eddie Kelly, from the album Searbh Siúcra, played by Éilís Crean.
Music by Éilís Crean · wherever you stream music

Éist with Éilís Ní Chriocháin
Éist on YouTube
eilisnichriochain.com · eddiekellymusic.com
Instagram: @eist.podcast
All links: linktr.ee/Eilisnichriochain

When I was at school in Ireland, the teacher called the roll every morning, and we didn’t answer “here.” We said “anseo.” Here I am. Present.

In this first episode, I tell you about my fiddle teacher, Eddie Kelly, and the little stool in his sitting room where I learned the music, and learned what it feels like to be truly listened to. And about the night, after nearly twenty years away from the sessions, he walked through the door and said, “I came to hear you play.”

He didn’t come to be seen. He came to see.

It’s a story about presence, about rambling houses and party pieces, and about how being seen, much more than any information, can bring you home to yourself.

Sit down. There’s no hurry.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome to Éist
00:38 Anseo: here I am, present
01:16 The little stool in Eddie’s sitting room
03:05 One note different
04:26 The night Eddie came to hear me play
06:42 Finding your way back to yourself
07:49 The rambling house
08:54 Being there for someone
09:46 The Lonesome Fiddler

Music: “The Lonesome Fiddler”, composed by Eddie Kelly, from the album Searbh Siúcra, played by Éilís Crean.
Music by Éilís Crean · wherever you stream music

Éist on YouTube

Book: This Is Your Life: A Tribute to Eddie Kelly

eilisnichriochain.com · eddiekellymusic.com

Instagram

All links

Have you ever sat with someone who barely said a word, and walked away feeling more understood than after a week of good advice?

I’m Éilís Ní Chriocháin, a traditional Irish fiddle player in the East Galway Irish Music Tradition (EGIMT). My teacher, Eddie Kelly, taught me tunes for years. It took me a long time to see he was really teaching me how to listen.

Éist is a podcast about grief, shame and finding your way back to yourself, told through stories and traditional Irish music. No tips, no lessons. Someone tells their story, and you hear your own.

The first episode is out Tuesday, October 27th, with a new one every Tuesday after that.

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Music: “Dawn On The Strand”, composed by Eddie Kelly, from Searbh Siúcra, played by Éilís Crean.

Éist on YouTube⁠

⁠Book: This Is Your Life: A Tribute to Eddie Kelly⁠

⁠eilisnichriochain.com⁠ · ⁠eddiekellymusic.com⁠

⁠Instagram⁠

⁠All links