ejq3 » PODCAST

In this podcast, you will discover how fearing the Lord will make you a better father. You will also realize how huge a responsibility it is to share the name “father” with God himself.

STOP Doing this One Thing and Get a Life! Trying to get your children to fulfill your dreams is one of the worst mistakes we make. God created them with her unique gifts and talents. Our job is to teach them to use their gifts for what they were created.

This week we will take a hard look at parenting as we continue to discuss the 7 worst things parents do. In today’s episode we will discuss why its not good to expect your child to fulfill your dreams. 

“The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old.” Proverbs 20:29 (NLT)

Do you get what Solomon is saying here? There are advantages of being young that you don’t have as much when you’re old and vice versa. We don’t need to envy another age group because whatever age we are has unique advantages. Older folks have more experience and hence more wisdom than the young. Therefore parents should let their children fulfill their own dreams – or better yet – fulfill what God has laid out for their lives instead of trying to live their lives through their children. I see it all the time… parents trying to live their life vicariously through the lives of their children. 

One of the semi-finalists of American Idol in 2008, David Archuletta, has a father who was banned from backstage by the producers of the show. Apparently he was too involved in his son’s competition. He changed the lyrics to one of the songs his son was to sing and added the lyrics of another song for one verse, leading the show to have to pay royalties for a second song they hadn’t planned on. I’m sure the show has the money but the incident represented a lot of other stuff that had been happening with this “over-involved” dad.

I don’t pretend to know this father’s motivations. But to me, he seems to represent a trend in our culture. Parents who get into verbal and physical fights with umpires at Little League games. Moms who push little girls into beauty contests so that they can receive praise through their kids or dads like Archuletta’s who go overboard – to perhaps get recognition for themselves (?)

Parents, children are not our property! They belong to God. We are only stewards to bring them up in God’s truth. We need to pray for and train them to follow God’s path for their lives, not our plan for their lives.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

This verse is frequently misused. Many well intended pastors and preachers teach that it means to show them God’s way so that when they grow up they will not depart from it. But nothing is further from the truth. This verse has nothing to do with that! You see, to train up a child is the way he should go is compared to the way a tree branch grows. They have a natural bent. Our job as parents is to find the natural way that our children are bent and to train them to follow it because that is God’s design for their lives. Are they mellow and artistic or are they full of energy and curiosity? Not every child is the same.

That reminds me, don’t compare your child to the neighbor’s. I hear it all the time… Oh, that child is so easy-going. My child is a whirlwind! Or their child can sit quietly while cannot. You may not see it but the other parent is probably saying things like… why can’t my child ride his bike without training wheels. The neighbor’s kid just took them off and learned to do it in 5 minutes! Or I wish my child was more of a go-getter like their child is. He just sits there.

The grass always seems greener on the other side, doesn’t it? But really moms and dads… don’t push your children to do those things that you want them to do.

Perhaps you didn’t achieve every success you wanted as a child. Don’t make the mistake of trying to push your child to do what you didn’t get to do. That kind of pushiness often breeds resentment and rebellion.

parents….“Get a life” outside your child’s life. Build adult friendships and enjoy activities with people your age in addition to doing things with your children. Act your age. You’ll be happier and your kids will be better adjusted.

Don’t miss next week’s episode when we bring up the seventh item in my list of the 7 worst things parents do. And that is when parents neglect their Spiritual Lives. That is probably the single “worst” thing you can do!

 Stay Connected by Email. Click HERE

© 2016 MANLY TRAINING

I would be very grateful if you shared  this article and website on your Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. You can also follow MANLY TRAINING on:

Listen, our families need us to learn how to do it God’s way. Our spouses need us o do it God’s way. Our world needs us to do it God’s way. Will you join me in this titanic endeavour?

Today I ask you to decide, will you do life your own way or will you do it His way? Will you be a Godly person or will you turn your back on God? Choose today what kind of person you will be, as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord and do it God’s way.

Will you join us?

Structure. Being a dad is hours upon days upon weeks upon years of having little people running around doing things you don’t want done, making mistakes, spilling milk, “wasting your time” (not that any of it is really a waste of time), misbehaving, driving you to the point of momentary insanity. Since our use of discipline normally occurs during periods of out-of-control and inappropriate behavior, it is easy to understand why anger and frustration are frequently attached to it.

This is why children need structure from moms and dads, not best friends. Which leads to the next worst mistake parents make:

https://api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/40737761/download.mp3

This week we will take a hard look at parenting as we continue to discuss the 7 worst things parents do. In today’s episode I will highlight what happens when parents fail to give their children structure and why it’s one of the 7 worst mistakes parents can make.

“When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.” Proverbs 29:18 (NLT)

“The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.” Proverbs 29:15 (NIV)

Notice the word “correction” again as we saw in the first part of this series on babying your child. Along with “instruction” it imparts wisdom in the lives of our children. Left on their own without any guidance, without structure, children often naturally get into mischief. “A child left to himself disgraces his mother.”

Where do children learn self-discipline? Children learn internal structure by first experiencing external structure. Parents discipline their children as the foundation for them one day being able to discipline themselves.

Two Russian psycholinguists, Luria and Vygotsky, spent years studying how children’s inner speech develops and how children eventually use it to control their own behavior. According to their findings, parents give directions to their children such as, “Put the toy in the box,” or, “Watch for cars before you cross the street.” Children hear these attempts to provide structure and direction and eventually say these directions to themselves. Children can control their own behavior by talking to themselves using the script provided by loving parents and grandparents!

When we fail to give the structure of correction and instruction children go to the default mode when talking to themselves. What’s the default mode for all of us humans? We’re sinners. We want to do what feels good to us to do. We don’t naturally talk self-discipline to ourselves. Our natural inclination without any structure is to take the easy road, do what gives us immediate gratification. “I don’t want to put that toy back in the box so I’ll just leave my room a mess.” Then mom or dad have to come along and clean up behind them. Some adults expect us to clean up behind them because they weren’t given structure as children. (I see this daily with many young men and women that work for me).

A mother overheard her son’s little six-year-old friend ask why babies are spanked when they are born, the youngster replied, “To get them used to it.” Really the Bible indicates that when parents make their children mind they are really trying to save their lives.

The Pain of Discipline weighs ounces. But The Pain of Regret weighs tons.

Pediatricians and psychologists are finding today’s parents are too permissive. They are reluctant to set limits for their children. And this benign parental neglect is harming kids from the ages of nine months to adolescence.

Karen Stabiner writes in the New York Times: “It seems that the parents of today’s parents, those strict disciplinarians of the 1950s and early ’60s, may have been right all along: father and mother did know best. . . .”

Revetta Bowers heads the Centre for Early Education in Los Angeles. She says schools are replacing parents. “Schools now make rules, which in many instances are the only rules that are not open to arbitration or negotiation. What children really need is guidance and love and support. We expect them to act more and more like adults, while we act more and more like children. Then, when we’re ready to act like parents, they bristle at the retaking of authority.”

In other words, you can’t leave it to Beaver.

Don’t waste your time trying to become your child’s friend. God, in His great wisdom, did not make you to be your child’s friend. You are the parent! And you will make your children mad every now and then! It’s in the daddy manual, right after taking out the trash, dads make everybody mad every once in a while! It is the job of parents to discipline or train children.

I heard a story about A kindergarten in one town that sat right on a corner by a busy highway. Although the school had a nice yard in which the children could play, at recess they would huddle right up against the building. The cars speeding by frightened them. One day, workmen erected a steel fence around the school yard. From that point on, the children used the entire playground. The fence did not limit their freedom; it actually expanded it. Children need fences, for they feel more secure having the discipline of clear boundaries

Don’t miss next week’s episode when we bring up the sixth item in my list of the 7 worst things parents do. And that is when parents Expect their Children to Fulfill their Dreams.

© 2016 MANLY TRAINING

I would be very grateful if you shared  this article and website on your Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. You can also follow MANLY TRAINING on:

Listen, our families need us to learn how to do it God’s way. Our spouses need us o do it God’s way. Our world needs us to do it God’s way. Will you join me in this titanic endeavour?

Today I ask you to decide, will you do life your own way or will you do it His way? Will you be a Godly person or will you turn your back on God? Choose today what kind of person you will be, as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord and do it God’s way.

Will you join us?

WARNING…, when you as a parent try to Be Your Child’s Best Friend, you are making a grave error.

https://api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/40724500/download.mp3

This week we will take a hard look at parenting as we continue to discuss the 7 worst things parents do. Today’s episode is somewhat controversial. That’s because I believe that trying to be your child’s best friend is one of the 7 worst things parents do. Let me explain….

 A huge mistake. The word of God tells us in Proverbs 19:18 

“Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.” 

How many of you “discipline” your best friends?

I like that quote not only because it highlights the tough job of parenting but also because of its insight. It is good insight because it jives with the wisdom God gave Solomon. Solomon was like every other parent. He wanted his children to love him. But he knew that his love for his children meant that sometimes he had to man the unpleasant role of disciplinarian and not best friend. The Bible is not saying it’s not okay to be friends with your kids. But your kids need you to step up and be something more.

What happens when a parent tries to be their child’s best friend? It’s like a teacher that tries to get everyone to love them. My tenth grade biology teacher, was a great person – charming, friendly, and smart. But our class was always in chaos because she tried to be everyone’s best friend instead of being the person in charge. In a healthy family, somebody is always in charge.

When parents and children have a weak boundary between them the result is chaos. Going to the other extreme of having a very rigid boundary between them is no better. Neither one of them is healthy. Children need to feel the safety of boundaries as well as the love of their parents in order to grow up emotionally healthy.

It may “feel” good for a parent to be their child’s best friend but it harms the child. If they get mad at your decisions you won’t break. It’s normal for people to be disappointed when we say “No.” Parents have to say “No” sometimes.

Children need to learn sooner rather than later that life isn’t full of “Yes’.” Build your child’s self-esteem without making them think they’re the center of the universe. They’re not. And by making them your best friend, you are hurting them more than you think. That’s because children need structure from their parents, not best friends. Which leads to the next worst mistake parents make: Failing to give them structure! 

So Don’t miss next week’s episode when we bring up the fifth item in my list of the 7 worst things parents do. 

© 2016 MANLY TRAINING

I would be very grateful if you shared  this article and website on your Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. You can also follow MANLY TRAINING on:

Listen, our families need us to learn how to do it God’s way. Our spouses need us o do it God’s way. Our world needs us to do it God’s way. Will you join me in this titanic endeavour?

Today I ask you to decide, will you do life your own way or will you do it His way? Will you be a Godly person or will you turn your back on God? Choose today what kind of person you will be, as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord and do it God’s way.

Will you join us?

Why do I make so many mistakes as a father? It seems that the things I want to do, I don’t do them, and that which I don’t want to do, I end up doing! And you thought you were the only parent that thought this way, didn’t you? I’ve said it once and I will say it again, parents do some really dumb things. We’ve gone over two of the seven worst things a parents can do. Are you ready for number three?

https://api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/40736841/download.mp3

This week we will take a hard look at parenting as we continue to discuss the 7 worst things parents do. Today we bring up the fact that pushing your child into too many activities is one of the 7 worst things parents do.

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NLT)

That’s not a verse from Proverbs, but Solomon wrote it. The book of Ecclesiastes needs to be investigated by a lot of people in our culture who are consumed with materialism, and trying to “have it all” and trying to pass this same twisted thinking on to their kids. Solomon learned the hard way that true satisfaction in life doesn’t come from “having it all” anyway – and he should know – he was the richest man in the world in his day and it didn’t buy him happiness.

So many kids today have very little or no free time. They are pushed to excel and exceed and be involved in so many activities that they grow up as imbalanced as their parents are. Overextended and worked to death they’re less well adjusted and frankly less happy. They’re lonely, emotionally neglected and burnt out at young ages.

We need balance here and that’s exactly what the Bible is calling for. There’s a time for every activity under heaven. There’s a time for sports and there’s also a time for the family to sit down to supper together at night. Do you realize that families sitting down to supper together has gone the way of the dinosaur? That’s not good, folks! Research has shown time and again that healthy “set” times of communication between parents and children builds lifelong bonds that build character and confidence in children as they mature into adulthood!

So slow down and don’t push your children to their limits. Make time to be together as a family! Play with them, talk to them and build your relationship with them face to face! Here is a sobering thought; How well do you know your children? Do you know your coworkers better than you know your own children? Shame on you if you know your coworker’s favorite color but you don’t know your own kid’s favorite one! How about their favorite food? Favorite activity? What do they dislike? I know you spend 6, 8 or more hours with your coworkers every day you work… How much time do you spend with those little ones of yours? Do you schedule time with them?

You see… it’s not about pushing more and more activities on them so they can stay busy or excel at stuff….. It’s about spending time with them.

Don’t miss next week’s episode when we bring up the fourth item in my list of the 7 worst things parents do. And that is when parents try to be their child’s best friend.

© 2016 MANLY TRAINING

I would be very grateful if you shared  this article and website on your Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. You can also follow MANLY TRAINING on:

Listen, our families need us to learn how to do it God’s way. Our spouses need us o do it God’s way. Our world needs us to do it God’s way. Will you join me in this titanic endeavour?

Today I ask you to decide, will you do life your own way or will you do it His way? Will you be a Godly person or will you turn your back on God? Choose today what kind of person you will be, as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord and do it God’s way.

Will you join us?

If you are going to be a good parent, you must make your marriage relationship a priority! Whatever you do, don’t put your marriage last! Nurture your marriage.

https://api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/40724160/download.mp3

This week we will take a hard look at parenting as we continue to discuss the 7 worst things parents do. If you want to be a good parent, DO NOT put your marriage last. This is one of the 7 worst things parents do….

I realize there are many single parents. And I want you to know that you are not second class. If you want us to pray for God to send you a good spouse don’t be too proud to turn in a prayer request to that effect. You may send your prayer requests to [email protected] and put prayer request as the subject line so we can find those emails quickly and pray for you.

Now,  if you’re married you need to remember that as important as children are, they are going to grow up one day and leave you, and hopefully you will still want to stay with your spouse. You don’t want to be an empty nest divorce statistic. You need to nurture and grow in your romantic relationship with your spouse while the kids are still home. Don’t think you can put the vitality of your marriage on the back burner while you raise your kids.

Here’s the wisdom God gave Solomon on this issue…

Proverbs 5:18-20 (NLT)

18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. (you know… I don’t know why Solomon used wild animals to illustrate love but I guess back then it was romantic… anyway… the word continues to say…) Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. 20 Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman? 

Whoa! This is hot stuff! Is it me or is it getting warm in here? I bet some of you didn’t know that the bible uses this kind of language! 

The 5th chapter of Proverbs begins with the king warning his son to stay away from promiscuous women. Most of us know that women who are willing to have sex with anyone are searching for security, not sex. We need to be like Jesus toward these women and offer our understanding but at the same time point them toward the truth that real security can only be found in a relationship with God.

One of the best ways to counterbalance the lure of infidelity and marriage break up, is to keep the fires of romance burning in your own marriage. But one of the biggest obstacles to husbands and wives enjoying the intimacy that God created them to enjoy is the presence of these little people in the home we call children

Let’s be honest…. Kids take up a lot of time to feed and clothe and train. But the Bible wisely advises us to not let marital closeness wane during the years of raising children.

So you’ve got to have a plan. You’ve got to make time to be alone with your spouse. You must Date your mate! You gave one another complete attention before you were married, it’s called dating, and you need to keep it up!

Hire a babysitter, or trade babysitting responsibilities with another couple with kids, or get the grandparents or an older couple in the church to watch the kids, and get away regularly for a night to be alone. Don’t feel guilty about leaving your kids with someone else. It’s OK!!!

Studies have shown that when a strong marital relationship is visible to the children they actually feel more secure and thrive in their personal growth! The opposite is true when the children sense that they are the center of the home. When all of the attention and all of the affection is fostered on them they actually become emotionally imbalanced! Child-centered families make neither healthy parents nor healthy children.

So … Spend time with your children but spend time alone with your husband or wife too.

Make children sleep in their own beds and have set bedtimes. Parents are the executives of the family. They make and have the right to enforce the rules. So don’t make the mistake of putting your marriage last while you raise those kids of yours….. If you do, raising them will become much more difficult to do. 

Don’t miss next week’s episode when we bring up the third item in my list of the 7 worst things parents do. And What is it? It’s when parents live vicariously through their kids and push too many activities onto them. 

Thank you so much for joining us this week on The Manly Training Podcast!

Come back next week or subscribe to the blog so you will get notified when the next installment goes live. Keep up with Manly Training Ministries and become the person that God created you to be.

© 2016 MANLY TRAINING

I would be very grateful if you shared  this article and website on your Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. You can also follow MANLY TRAINING on:

Listen, our families need us to learn how to do it God’s way. Our spouses need us o do it God’s way. Our world needs us to do it God’s way. Will you join me in this titanic endeavour?

Today I ask you to decide, will you do life your own way or will you do it His way? Will you be a Godly person or will you turn your back on God? Choose today what kind of person you will be, as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord and do it God’s way.

Will you join us?

Don’t Baby Your Child! Being a parent is hard. It’s one of the hardest things any man or woman will do in their lifetime. We all want to be the perfect parent, but the reality of the matter is that we do some very dumb things. We are not perfect and God knows that! However, there are 7 things we do as parents that are downright terrible. What are they? We start with this one:

https://api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/40226274/download.mp3

This week we will take a hard look at parenting as we continue to discuss the 7 worst things parents do. And certainly, Babying your child is one of the 7 worst things parents do….

“A servant pampered from childhood will become a rebel.” Proverbs 29:21 (NLT)

“My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.” Proverbs 1:8 (NLT)

Pay attention to the following two words, “corrects” and “instruction.” These are important tasks of a parent who wishes to raise a well-balanced child. The Hebrew word for “correction” is used 25 times in Proverbs and has to do with corrective discipline. The idea of discipline runs like a thread through the tapestry of the Book of Proverbs. Every conscientious parent needs to study the topic of discipline in Proverbs.

The word “instruction” is the Hebrew word for “law”(torah). The Bible teaches that fathers need to lovingly discipline their children and mothers need to lay down the law. Do Any of you have a mother that laid down the law? Good – she was doing her job.

So Why are correction and instruction necessary?

Correction and instruction give confidence to our children. Correction and instruction prepare them for life on their own. Many children grow up not knowing how to handle the rigors of adult life because dad and mom thought it more important to do things “for” them than to take the time to teach them to do things “for themselves.” Kids become young adults not knowing how to iron a shirt or blouse, or use a washing machine, or reconcile a bank statement, or hold a job because they weren’t corrected and instructed.

In “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ,” Daniel Goleman cited Jerome Kagan’s research on children who are innately, biologically timid. Mothers and fathers who protected their timid children from upsetting experiences produced kids who continued to be plagued by fear as they grew older. Moms and dads who gradually and consistently encouraged their kids to deal with more and more of the world, produced children who were much less fearful later on. 

This outcome challenges the thinking of many contemporary American parents who believe that children should be shielded from life’s difficulties. To the contrary, even biologically fearful children do better if their parents encourage them to conquer their fears.

Correction and instruction, rather than babying a child, gives him or her the confidence not only to perform certain tasks for themselves, but also how to learn to do new tasks. It enables them to overcome fear.

The other night I watched the PBS documentary on President Franklin Roosevelt. One of the most interesting parts of the biopic was the way his mother doted on him. He wasn’t allowed to bathe himself until he was 8 years old. He didn’t handle his own finances until 1941 when his mother died – only four years before his own death. Basically, Roosevelt’s mom handles all of his finances. In fact, before moving into the White House, Roosevelt and his family lived in an adjoining brownstone with his mother. There were open doors between their homes.

What effect did being babied have on this famous man in history? After marrying (not surprisingly, against his mother’s wishes) he went on a 3-month long honeymoon to Europe with his wife Eleanor. Eleanor was surprised by Franklin’s frequent inexplicable nightmares. 

Was he suffering separation anxiety by being away from his mother for so long? 

The man who said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” was constantly afraid. By critiquing her letters psychologists concluded that FDR was driven to seek power because of his inner insecurities.

There is a better way to help your child achieve success in life: correction and instruction. Don’t make the mistake of babying them. Don’t let the children make the family rules. That’s the job of the parents. Don’t let them run the show. Give them limits.

Don’t baby them. It’s the first worst mistake a parent can make.

Don’t miss next week’s episode when we talk about how damaging it is to put your marriage last. Putting your marriage last is one of the 7 worst things parents do.

Thank you so much for joining us this week on The Manly Training Podcast!

Come back next week or subscribe to the blog so you will get notified when the next installment goes live. Keep up with Manly Training Ministries and become the person that God created you to be.

© 2016 MANLY TRAINING

I would be very grateful if you shared  this article and website on your Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. You can also follow MANLY TRAINING on:

Listen, our families need us to learn how to do it God’s way. Our spouses need us o do it God’s way. Our world needs us to do it God’s way. Will you join me in this titanic endeavour?

Today I ask you to decide, will you do life your own way or will you do it His way? Will you be a Godly person or will you turn your back on God? Choose today what kind of person you will be, as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord and do it God’s way.

Will you join us?

Family flaws are tough to deal with. Many are never able to overcome those family flaws. So, How do you overcome your Family Flaws? Here are two proven ways to do it.

https://api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/40106084/download.mp3

Today’s topic… how to survive your family flaw.

Let me tell you about a man with lots of flaws who managed to survive! This man lived his life deceiving others around him. He was always looking to get ahead, even if that meant that he had to trick others. One time, he tricked his brother into giving him all of his inheritance. Another time, he tricked his father into giving him what did not belong to him. This was also a man who was driven by fear and made some very bad choices along the way.

He married the love of his life only after he had also married her sister. To make things worse, he had three other “baby-mamas” and had a total of 12 children between all 5 of his women. This was a very flawed father. His parenting style was all about who he liked more at the time and he treated his favorite children better than the rest. His children, not knowing how to deal with all the family flaws became just as flawed as their father was. Some of their issues included murder, incest, adultery and betrayal. What a dysfunctional family this was!

Who am I talking about? I bet some of you got it…. For the rest of you…..I am talking about Jacob, the biblical patriarch who would later in life wrestle with God and then have his name (and his Character) changed. Jacob became Israel after his encounter with God.

If we are honest, there is a bit of dysfunction in all of our families. We all have those relatives who are good people, but when certain individuals get together in the same place (usually at thanksgiving dinner) there is going to be a disagreement or even a fight over politics, religion or football. But what does it mean to be a dysfunctional family? Wikipedia puts it this way:

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehavior, and often child neglect or abuse on the part of individual parents occur continuously and regularly, leading other members to accommodate such actions. Children sometimes grow up in such families with the understanding that such an arrangement is normal. Dysfunctional families are primarily a result of two adults, one typically overtly abusive and the other codependent, and may also be affected by addictions, such as substance abuse (e.g., alcohol or drugs), or sometimes an untreated mental illness. Dysfunctional parents may emulate or over-correct from their own dysfunctional parents. In some cases, the dominant parent will abuse or neglect their children and the other parent will not object, misleading the child to assume blame.[1]

Today, we call it a Dysfunctional Family but the bible just calls it sin. Every single family has flaws, little flaws and big ones too! But I am not trying to just point out the problem. How depressing that would be! Instead, I want to offer you two strategies or tools that everyone of us can use to survive these family flaws.

I can say without hesitation that not one of us grew up in perfect homes. We are all just like Cain and Abel. Our folks had flaws. Our kids will grow up and look back on our flaws. But Abel overcame his family flaws. He was walking with God just like his parents had done before paradise lost. He was able to regain fellowship with God by faith!

I reiterate what the Bible says about Abel:

“It was by faith that Abel brought a more acceptable offering to God than Cain did. Abel’s offering gave evidence that he was a righteous man, and God showed his approval of his gifts. Although Abel is long dead, he still speaks to us by his example of faith.” Hebrews 11:4 (NLT)

So what happened with these brothers? Was it difficult for Cain to bring an animal sacrifice because it cost more?

We’re not told. The one thing we know for sure is that he didn’t have faith in God. He didn’t trust God. He didn’t realize how very much God loved him and wanted to be his friend.

If we will have faith that God has our best interest in mind, we will learn and observe his instructions. Then we will establish a relationship with Him by faith – by trusting in God. We don’t have to be victimized by our own flaws or those of our family. We can trust God and change the course of our family history!

Or, if we chose, we can be like Cain. We can be religious but aimless because our religion is not mixed with faith. Oh yes Cain was religious. He brought his offering to God – it just wasn’t an offering motivated by faith.

This attitude of Cain teaches us the second positive principle about surviving family flaws. And that is that….

A worldview is not only how you see things in the world around you, but your attitude about what you see. If I have a skewed view of the world like Cain I’m going to do something stupid, just like Cain did! If I have a bad attitude I’m going to do something selfish and I will end up hurting those who love me.

Remember what God said to Cain after having rejected his offering?

“You will be accepted IF you do what is right. But IF you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.” Genesis 4:7 (NLT)

I can think of a classic Charlie brown moment to illustrate this:

Charlie Brown to Linus: “What would you do if you felt that nobody liked you?”

Linus: “Well Charlie Brown, I guess I would take a real hard look at myself, ask if I’m doing anything that turns people off; how can I improve myself; do I need to change in some way? Yep, that’s my answer Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown: “I hate that answer.”

Deep down we all have reservations about that answer. Our humanness is prone to be self-centered. We don’t want to master our selfish desires. We want to give in to them. But we know that when we do we often hurt those who love us.

Have you hurt your loved ones? Have you taken them for granted and been so self centered that you hurt them in ways that they did not deserve? If you have, welcome to the club. This happens because we are flawed, all of us have done this. But it does not have to be that way any longer. I am sure everyone listening to this podcast has been hurt by some family flaw. But there is a way to survive these hurts. Jacob survived them. His son Joseph survived his family flaws and went on to become the second most powerful man on earth at the time. Joseph then became the liaison by which his family was saved in a time of famine. YOU CAN SURVIVE YOUR FAMILY FLAWS! Believe me…. You can do it!

Do you like stories? I am glad because next week I will  tell you a true story that will move you to the core. Make sure you join me next week with a box of tissue paper… You will not want to miss next week’s podcast!

© 2016 MANLY TRAINING

I would be very grateful if you shared  this article and website on your Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. You can also follow MANLY TRAINING on:

Listen, our families need us to learn how to do it God’s way. Our spouses need us o do it God’s way. Our world needs us to do it God’s way. Will you join me in this titanic endeavour?

Today I ask you to decide, will you do life your own way or will you do it His way? Will you be a Godly person or will you turn your back on God? Choose today what kind of person you will be, as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord and do it God’s way.

Will you join us?

So what’s the big deal about Adam and Eve and their sin? Well, let me give you a sober warning. When we sin, the consequences of that sin are like the ripple effect on the surface of a body of water. What Eve did affected Adam and what they both did affected us all.

https://api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/40105875/download.mp3

When I disregard God in my life I adversely affect the lives of those closest to me. We can say when we break God’s rules, “It’s not hurting anybody but me,” but that’s simply not true.

Sin is like a cosmic boomerang in the home. Were it not for the grace and mercy of God, not only the first family would have been sunk by the tragedy of sin but so would we all. Even still, our disobedience to God not only hinders our walk with Him; it trickles down to those around us.

As a man who is a husband and a father, my sin has huge impact on my loved ones.  If I rebel against God, my wife and children see AND sense that rebellion. My attitude is contagious. This is very clearly illustrated in what happened between Adam and Eve’s first two sons, Cain and Abel.

3 When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the Lord.

4 Abel also brought a gift—the best of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift,

5 but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected.

6 “Why are you so angry?” the Lord asked Cain. “Why do you look so dejected?

7 You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.” Genesis 4:3-7 (NLT)

Abel was a true worshipper of God. He worshipped by faith in God’s plan. He had learned from the example set by God that true worship involved blood sacrifice. So that is what he offered. Cain on the other hand offered a grain sacrifice which was unacceptable to God.

“It was by faith that Abel brought a more acceptable offering to God than Cain did. Abel’s offering gave evidence that he was a righteous man, and God showed his approval of his gifts. Although Abel is long dead, he still speaks to us by his example of faith.” Hebrews 11:4 (NLT)

Cain envied his brother Abel for having his sacrifice accepted by God while his own offering was rejected. Then he chose to take the life of his own brother.

8 One day Cain suggested to his brother, “Let’s go out into the fields.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother, Abel, and killed him.

9 Afterward the Lord asked Cain, “Where is your brother? Where is Abel?” “I don’t know,” Cain responded. “Am I my brother’s guardian?” Genesis 4:8-9 (NLT)

How could this happen? It happened because of the residual effects of sin. Cain chose to make the same foolish mistake his parents had made and disregard God’s instructions. Their self-willed attitude and disobedience to God’s instructions rubbed off on him.

We all run that risk when we disobey God. We not only break God’s heart and hinder our walk with Him, but we’re also like poison ivy to those with whom we come into contact.

“Like what you hear so far? Make sure you never miss a show by clicking the “subscribe” button now. This podcast is made possible by listeners like you – thank you for your support. Now back to the show!”

I remember growing up in Missouri. We had a house in Gladstone Mo and we had a small mobile home at the Lake of the Ozarks. Every Spring and summer, I’d brush up on some Poison Ivy and break out in hives. The allergic reaction I had was pretty intense! I remember being in terrible misery from the effects of an allergaffectstion to “Toxicodendron radicans.” (Makes poison ivy sound even more wicked when you use it’s scientific name. “Toxicodendron radicans.” Sounds like an evil character out of Star Wars.)

I remember times when my eyes were nearly swollen shut from an allergic reaction to poison ivy. I recall being covered with calamine lotion. Your skin would itch just looking at me!

Cain was exposed to a rebellious attitude against God and it stuck with him. We know that Abel chose to obey.

You say, “See there, I can sin all I want to and rebel against God and my kids may not be affected, my family members won’t be influenced.” Perhaps not. Maybe they won’t have an allergic reaction to the poison ivy of sin.

Thank God He has given each of us a free will. But why make it difficult for those we love to obey God by setting a bad example? Sin is never a solo pursuit. Even if those you love don’t follow your bad example, their hearts will be broken watching you miss out on the joys of walking in the light of God’s truth.

So here is that solemn family-flaw warning I mentioned at the beginning: Sin is never a solo pursuit. Others in your family may not follow in your disobedient footsteps – but your attitude and your actions will affect their lives! So line up with God and let Him give you the victory over the effects of sin in your life. 

 Next week I will share two basic ways to survive your family flaws. So don’t miss the next installment in this series. Subscribe and get notified as soon as the next episode gets published. 

© 2016 MANLY TRAINING

I would be very grateful if you shared  this article and website on your Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. You can also follow MANLY TRAINING on:

Listen, our families need us to learn how to do it God’s way. Our spouses need us o do it God’s way. Our world needs us to do it God’s way. Will you join me in this titanic endeavour?

Today I ask you to decide, will you do life your own way or will you do it His way? Will you be a Godly person or will you turn your back on God? Choose today what kind of person you will be, as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord and do it God’s way.

Will you join us?

Let me ask you a question and be honest with yourself. Is your family perfect or flawed? If you are honest with me today, you will agree that your family has quite a few flaws. And so do you for that matter! The fact is that we are all flawed, but we’re not flawed beyond hope! With God’s help we can overcome the impact of our flawedness. The endless family flaw has a remedy, GOD’S GRACE IS GREATER THAN OUR FAMILY FLAWS!

https://api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/40103663/download.mp3

“Where sin increased and abounded, grace (God’s unmerited favor) has surpassed it and increased and superabounded…”

Romans 5:20b

This verse gives us hope for our lives and our families! So let’s take another  good look at the first family!

We’re not going to rehearse all of the familiar details of Adam and Eve’s family flaws. What we’re going to look at is HOW GOD RESPONDED to their flaws. Because it is in observing how God responded that gives us hope!

Here’s a snippet of the story from Genesis chapter three. This happens right after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit.

20 Then the man — Adam — named his wife Eve, because she would be the mother of all who live.

21 And the Lord God made clothing from animal skins for Adam and his wife.

22 Then the Lord God said, “Look, the human beings have become like us, knowing both good and evil. What if they reach out, take fruit from the tree of life, and eat it? Then they will live forever!”

23 So the Lord God banished them from the Garden of Eden, and he sent Adam out to cultivate the ground from which he had been made.

24 After sending them out, the Lord God stationed mighty cherubim to the east of the Garden of Eden. And he placed a flaming sword that flashed back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life. Genesis 3:20-24 (NLT)

God had given the first couple complete liberty to enjoy everything in the paradise in which He had placed them. He even walked with them daily. We don’t know exactly how this was done but apparently he had daily personal unfettered communication with them. Which is what God still wants with us! God wants you to know Him.

“Like what you hear so far? Make sure you never miss a show by clicking the “subscribe” button now. This podcast is made possible by listeners like you – thank you for your support. Now back to the show!”

There was only one thing the first couple couldn’t have. God gave them specific instructions NOT TO EAT from one tree – only one tree. You know the story. They blew it. The serpent lied to them and they fell for it and they did the one thing God told them not to do.

Where was Adam? Wasn’t he supposed to be the spiritual leader here? Why did he eat? Men, take note here… Adam chose Eve over God. He chose to “follow” his wife instead of following his Creator. Adam set the tone for every man, and the price to pay would be high.

Next, God confronted them about their rebellious behavior. He came down for their daily evening walk and they were hiding from Him. When God asked them what happened they passed the buck. Adam blamed Eve for the fall and Eve blamed the serpent.

After sadly rehearsing their error, God immediately does something very interesting in the Scripture we just read. The Bible says in verse 21,

“And the Lord God made clothing from animal skins for Adam and his wife.”

The first thing He did was not to evict them. The first thing was not to pronounce the consequences of their sin.

Before God expels them from the Garden of Eden, which, by the way, was in their best interest, since He was protecting them from eating of the tree of life and living forever in a fallen state. So, before becoming an evicting landlord, He becomes their personal tailor and fashions them clothes from animal skins.

PETA wouldn’t have been too happy with God, but God created the animals in the first place so He had every right to use their skins as clothing for the only living beings that He had created in His image. Since we know the rest of the story, we know that God wasn’t just trying to clothe them to keep them dry and warm. If that would have been His purpose He could have done that much earlier.

Clearly this is a statement about the shame they felt after the fall and how God wanted to help them cope with their guilt. We all know what guilt and shame feel like. We have all been caught. Our hands have been found in the cookie jar and no one has to pronounce our guilt. It’s self-evident. Our conscience already told us that our selfish actions had been hurtful towards someone who loves us. God wasn’t simply judging them. He was establishing the shedding of animal blood as a prototype of the shedding of His Son’s blood, the sinless Lamb of God, for sin’s atonement. God was providing for the covering of their guilt and shame.

Our sin must be paid for but God was illustrating right away that we couldn’t afford what sin costs! But He can! And furthermore, He’s willing to pay the price to redeem us! You can’t take a tour of the earliest chapters of the inspired biblical record without right away seeing God as our Redeemer as well as our Creator!

We need to remember that the bad press often given to God isn’t true. He isn’t a hateful cosmic killjoy that wants to rain on our picnic. He loves us. He’s given us boundaries in life for our own good. If no one had broken God’s rules we would all be living in paradise. God’s rules are for our benefit. God doesn’t want to steal our joy – He wants to promote it!

Now – what does this have to do with family flaws? I am glad you asked.  Next Monday I will share one sober warning with you based on the story of the very first family. So don’t miss the next installment in this series. Subscribe and get notified as soon as the next article gets published. Until next time …. be a man!

© 2016 MANLY TRAINING

I would be very grateful if you shared  this article and website on your Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. You can also follow MANLY TRAINING on:

Listen, our families need us to learn how to do it God’s way. Our spouses need us o do it God’s way. Our world needs us to do it God’s way. Will you join me in this titanic endeavour?

Today I ask you to decide, will you do life your own way or will you do it His way? Will you be a Godly person or will you turn your back on God? Choose today what kind of person you will be, as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord and do it God’s way.

Will you join us?