Podcast Big Idea: Your first impression is more important than you even realize

Key Word: Endearment 

Four Ways to Make the Most of a First Impression
1. Observe 
2. Question
3. Remember
4. Endear

Episode Takeaways:

• First impressions happen in a flash, but they can stick around for ages in business relationships.  
• It's not just what you say. Your look, body language, and those first few words all paint a picture of you.  
• Want to be the person everyone gravitates towards? Focus on making others feel like they're the star of the show.  
• Everyone’s favorite radio station is WKLN: The desire to be Known, Liked, and Needed.  
• Challenge: Before you hit that next meeting or event, take a second to think about the impression you want to give off. Practice your opening questions and comments.

Interview with Matt Havens

Matt Havens is an international keynote speaker, reformed corporate leader, son of a comedian, and a firm believer we overcomplicate work by overthinking the solutions.  While Matt doesn’t take himself too seriously, he seriously delivers a high-energy, actionable, and hilarious message every time he takes a stage.

Matt lives in Dallas, TX with his wife and best friend, Megan, and their twin daughters Avery and Emersyn.  When he’s not working, he’s probably trying to convince his daughters to love golf or plan the next family adventure.

MattHavens.com
LinkedIn

Podcast Big Idea: Each one of us has a conversational style that we need to find out which one is us and if it needs to be changed

18 Conversational Personalities:

1. The Know-It-All
2. The Bragger 
3. The One-Upper 
4. The Monopolizer
5.  The Hijacker
6. The Mechanic
7. The Pretender
8. The Inspector 
9. The Comedian 
10. The Re-router
11. The Skeptic
12. The Analyzer 
13. The Talker
14. The Talk-over 
15. The Answer Man
16. The Empathizer 
17. The Involver 
18. The Connecter 

HUMOR BONUS CHAPTER - Adding Humor to Your Connections
Media.BryanPaulBuckley.com/Bonus-Chapter

Joshua Evans is a #1 best selling author, TEDx programmer, keynote speaker, adventure seeker, and proud father of 3. 

He’s studied workplace behavior for over 15 years and has been featured in many publications including the Harvard Business Review, Wall Street Journal, and Huffington Post. 

 His clients include Fortune 500 companies, professional associations, and Government Agencies. Joshua’s goal is to bring purpose to the forefront of the future of work.

Go-To One-Liners 

Here we go with my Top 20 go-to-one liners…

• Husband of one, father of five 
• Not smart enough to take that personally  
• Visual of the suspect 
• Thanks for coming but most of all, thanks for leaving 
• Just between us girls 
• Eating the best of the king's food and drinking the best of the king's wine 
• Questions, comments, or snide remarks? 
• Lies! Nothing but lies! (Usually when someone says they heard something positive about me.) 
• Love to stay and chat (Jokingly trying to end a conversation where a tough question has been asked.) 
• With all due disrespect 
• Sharp as a bowling ball 
• Clear as mud 
• I live in a small midwestern town… (dramatic pause) called Chicago! 
• Trying to get my girlish figure back 
• If I want to be ignored, I’ll just go home 
• In-and-out so nobody gets hurt 
• You can't prove that! 
• I make fun of that guy and now I’m that guy!
• Who’s who in the zoo
• Let’s land this plane

Who cares if everyone has heard the lines over and over. If the expressions produce a smile, laugh, or response, they work! I've found no matter how often someone hears a funny one-liner, they often enjoy it just as much the next time.  

Top Five Ways to Make Your Own List:

1.  Find a place where you can keep an ongoing list. For me it was the notes app on my phone. The location doesn’t matter as much as easy access and only that one location. You may need to experience where is best to create your list and that’s fine but once you find a good rhythm, stick with the best location for you.

2. As soon as you hear yourself make a potential one-liner that elicits a response from someone, write it down immediately or as soon as you can. Now, if you’re anything like me, I have the best of intentions to remember and write it down later, and never ever comes and I lose that one-liner. So, if you say it amidst a conversation, I’ve literally asked the person I’m speaking with for some grace to write something down real quick then immediately jump back into the conversation. This ALWAYS works much better than going to my phone without asking permission which just flat out looks rude.

3. Practice these new one-liners the next time you’re with someone that your one-liner fits the context. The keyword is practice. It must come out naturally otherwise it will receive a “meh response.” Now, that doesn’t mean the one-liner is bad, it may be the delivery. You just need some practice.

4. I usually leverage the one-liner to ask a question after I get them to smile or laugh. For example, when they ask me where I’m from and I use my one-liner about the small mid-western town, I’ll ask them where they’re from to take the attention off of me and on to them. Once that happens, the conversation begins to flow so much easier. 

5. Always remember, the one-liner is a means to an end. You want them to smile or laugh so they become a little more endeared to you and invested into the conversation.

So here’s your challenges: 

1. Begin immediately to start building your one-liner list - start with my list and see what works 
2. Practice your one-liners every single chance you get and see how they’re received then write those ones down and perfect their delivery

Then, commit to using them consistently—whether you're making small talk with a barista, networking at an event, greeting a guest, or pitching a potential client. Watch how applying these tools breathes new life into your interactions. 


HUMOR BONUS CHAPTER - Adding Humor to Your Connections
Media.BryanPaulBuckley.com/Bonus-Chapter

Q1:  How would you describe your personality? Extravert / Introvert / ambivert (a mixture of both) / how do you believe your personality affects your interaction with people?

Q2.  When you walk into a room and do not know a single person, how do you respond?

Q3.  How important is communication in a business interaction? 

Q4. Why is communicating effectively so difficult for some people? (Even giving presentations?)

Q5.  How do you utilize asking questions in a conversation?

Q6. What are some tips for becoming better listeners?

Q7.  What impresses you with another person in an interaction?

Q8.  What mistakes do you see people interacting with each other? How should they change it?

Q9. The ratio of how much we write to others vs. speak to each other has shifted in the last decade, and become even greater since the world got used to working remotely. How has that changed how we connect with each other?

Q10:  What would you say is still challenging for you when interacting with people?

Q11:  Who is or was your biggest influence in your life on business social skills? (Aka: communication / conversation/ connection?)

Top Five Rapid Fire Round

• Good or bad remembering names 
• Good or bad listener if completely honest?
• A strength you bring into a conversation 
• What is your pet peeve or just drives you crazy about people?
• How do you know when you’re starting to connect with another person?

Bonus Question - you buy top five questions you get one free…

• What are you learning right now / how are you being challenged?

If people want to follow you or learn more about you, where could they find you?

LinkedIn - Jay Sullivan

Jay Sullivan books

Author and speaker John Maxwell says in his book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, "Connecting with others may not be a matter of life or death for most of us, but it often is a matter of success or failure. The ability to connect with others begins with understanding the value of people."

Jay Sullivan in his book, Simply Said, had this to say, “ If we want to improve our ability to connect with others, to understand them and to be understood more clearly, the easiest and most effective way to do so is to focus less on ourselves and more on the other person. If we put the focus on what the other person is trying to gain from the exchange, we will do a better job communicating because we will select more pertinent information, drill down to the desired level of detail, and make the information we are sharing more accessible to our audience.“

Four Connection Points Every Business Connector Must Develop

1. Meeting New People - strong first impression

2. Developing New Connections - needed follow-up impression

3. Advancing Established Connections - challenging continual impression

4. Sustaining Established Connections - customer loyalty impression

"How you communicate is how you connect and when you communicate is when you have influence."

Conversation Resume download here

Email me with ideas and feedback: [email protected]

Q1:  How would you describe your personality? Extravert / Introvert / ambivert (a mixture of both) / how do you believe your personality affects your interaction with people?

Q2.  When you walk into a room and do not know a single person, how would you respond?

Q3.  How important is communication in a business interaction? 

Q4.  How do you utilize asking questions in a conversation?

Q5.  What impresses you with another person in an interaction?

Q6.  What mistakes do you see people interacting with each other? How should they change it?

Q7:  What would you say is still challenging for you when interacting with people?

Q8:  Who is or was your biggest influence in your life on business social skills? (Aka: communication / conversation/ connection?)

Top Five Rapid Fire Round

• Good or bad remembering names 
• Good or bad listener if completely honest?
• A strength you bring into a conversation 
• What is your pet peeve or just drives you crazy about people?
• How do you know when you’re starting to connect with another person?

Bonus Question - you buy five questions you get one free…

• What are you learning right now / how are you being challenged?

______________________________________________________________________________

CONCLUSION

What is one quote, comment, challenge you want to leave for us?

Jerome Wade LinkedIn

Jerome Wade Website

Think of your last really good conversation… Seriously. Really think back to your last really memorable conversation…

1. Who are your top three best conversationalist? Two? One?
2. Why do they stand out?
3. What do they do that put them into this category?

The ARE Method (ARE is an acronym - Anchor / Reveal / Encourage)

ANCHOR – You want to start off by anchoring your conversation on a specific topic that you will both have shared interest in. It’s best to bring up a topic that you are mutually experiencing at the moment.

REVEAL – After you use an anchor to start a conversation, you must continue to reveal something about yourself. You can’t just leave the conversation at the anchor; otherwise it will go quiet and awkward again. When you reveal something about yourself, it makes the conversation more personal and interesting.

ENCOURAGE – Once you’ve done your job of starting the conversation and revealing something about yourself, you need to be able to encourage them to talk next. The ARE method is a great way to get small talk started, as it covers all of the important bases. 


Me Too Moments

I love trying to find the “Me Too” Moment (M2M) on a conversation. How does it work? When a similarity is mentioned, say “Me too” but then this is the absolute key: get right back to “them” - don’t take this moment and take the conversation hostage. 

Think of a news broadcast where someone is onsite bringing the news. At the end of their report they always end with the same four words, “Now, back to you.” 

Those are four perfect words to use after “Me too” so after you let someone know “Me too now back to you” is a simple one-liner which lets the communicator know you’re absolutely listening and you have similarities. 

They may choose to have you jump right in right then. They may circle back. Or they may simply forget. Your job is to respect the moment no matter what they choose to do. 

It shows high emotional intelligence to be able to resonate and leave the next response into the other person’s hands.

Too many people get excited for the “Me too” moment and unintentionally steal the spotlight and hijack the moment. They mean well but just simply unaware of what is happening in that moment.

Scott Mawdesley Bio:

Scott has traveled extensively both internationally and across the US training leaders around discipleship strategy and how to better create spaces for community.

He is currently the Spiritual Father Program Director at Man in the Mirror leading the vision toward raising up 10,000 spiritual fathers through intergenerational discipleship.  

He also leads his own non-profit, Dads on Tap, gathering thousands of dads annually to help craft better dads across his community. He is the host of 2 monthly podcasts: The Spiritual Fathers podcast and the Dads on Tap podcast. 

Scott lives with his wife of 23 years, Natalie and his son and daughter in Buford, GA where he enjoys cooking, making leather goods, finding the perfect cup of coffee and discovering the next great book to read!  

Interview Questions:

Q1:  How would you describe your personality? Extravert / Introvert / ambivert (a mixture of both) / how do you believe your personality affects your interaction with people?

Q2.  When you walk into a room and do not know a single person, how would you respond? (More stay to yourself or look for someone to talk to asap)

Q3.  How have you learned the “importance of communication” in a business interaction? 

Who is or was your biggest influence in your life on business social skills? 

Q4.  How do you utilize asking questions in a conversation?

Q5.  What impresses you with another person in an interaction?

Q6.  Why do people hesitate to go deeper in conversations?

Q7.  Who was your model who best represented business social skills in your life?

Q8.  What mistakes do you see when people are interacting with each other? How should they change it?

Q9.  You’re a person of heart, how do you work your way to making that human connection?

Q10.:  What would you say is still challenging for you when interacting with people?

Bonus Question - you buy five questions you get one free…

• What are you learning right now / how are you being challenged?

Top Five Rapid Fire Round

• Good or bad remembering names… 
• Good or bad listener if completely honest…
• What is your pet peeve or just drives you crazy about people?
• A strength you bring into a conversation…
• How do you know when you’re starting to connect with another person?

Scott Mawdesley LinkedIn to connect