Embrace Your Appetite

I love family recipes. They are time tested and often so reliable. And using a family recipe feels like you are sharing a meal with that beloved family member.

I have been told a story of a woman who used a family recipe for a roast that both her mother and grandmother used. As she routinely prepared the roast, her own daughter asked her why she cut off the ends of the roast. She wasn’t really sure. So she asked Grandmother, who laughed and said she did this because the roast was always too big for her little pan.

We all have inherited rules that we have accepted as THE  way to do things. We tell ourselves this is the way we have to do it because it is the only acceptable way to do it. We don’t need to start from scratch and throw away all the wisdom of the past. But thoughtlessly doing what others have told you to do is not wise.  

Now if you start questioning EVERYTHING you are gonna be stuck in decision paralysis.  You’ll never get anything done. So when do we know we need to revise our recipes for success.

I would suggest starting by revisiting the “recipes” that are not giving you the results you want. This just means to look at the areas of your life where you are frustrated not happy. Write down one area of your life where you're getting frustrated. Now start thinking of what your approach is with this obstacle. What are you doing or have done to try to be successful in this area? That’s your formula or recipe. 

Often we are barely even aware of the formula we follow because we’ve literally blocked off other possibilities from entering our mind because we believe this is THE  way. If you draw a big blank when trying to articulate exactly what your approach to this obstacle is- this just maybe you!!! There are areas of life where we have accepted certain things as absolute, and it feels unnatural to question them. 

Sometimes we accept “rules” or “formulas” that other people have given us that don’t work.  Sometimes we even make up OUR OWN rules which don’t work, and then we refuse to let go of them, insisting the problem lies somewhere else! I’ll tell one more story to demonstrate that. 

Every first Sunday of the month my family and I fast purely for spiritual reasons. We encourage our kids and we ourselves think about the needs of other people and We make that the focus of our fast. 

Now, this past Sunday morning my nine-year-old complained about fasting saying she didn’t know what to fast for. So we talked about it, and there were 3 different people that she was (somewhat reluctantly) interested in fasting and praying for. Then she proceeded to spend the next hour complaining that now she can’t choose which one. I asked her why she had to choose one. Her answer- because I can’t do it for all three, that’s too hard. She insisted she had to choose.

It didn’t matter how much I tried to help her see that for her the work is the same whether she fasts for one person or three people. She refused to believe this was a possibility.  I reminded her that she does have permission to go eat if she doesn’t want to fast. Fasting is a choice, and if she doesn’t want to fast she doesn’t have to. I honestly expected her to walk right into the kitchen and eat because I just gave her permission. Instead, she continued throwing a tantrum about how hard it is to fast when you don’t know what to fast for. Let’s just say that I couldn’t contain my eye roll!

I honestly don’t think she wanted to fast. But she wouldn’t own it. Because she couldn’t bring herself to admit that, she instead clung to made up constricting rules to explain why she was feeling the way she was. When time ran out and it was time to leave for church she was furious we wouldn’t let her go eat and she blamed us for her being hungry. 

If you listened to the 4 part series on where your appetite comes from, it’s a lot to think about. It can be challenging to analyze our eating so much. You may still be wondering- how do I start feeling more in control RIGHT NOW?

Today I'm sharing 5 ways to get a grip on your appetite immediately. Use these tips in combination with the 4 part series to get more clarity on why you eat, and how to happily eat less - instinctively balancing pleasure with nutrition while still getting results. 

First, start every morning with at least 30 grams of protein. It’s the breakfast of champions! There has been lots of supporting evidence but one researcher, in particular, observed some amazing stuff- participants who ate 30 g protein had decreased activity in pleasure-seeking parts of the brain that lead to cravings, AND they had higher executive functioning which makes for better decision making. The trick though, is that getting it from food instead of liquid shakes, is much more effective at getting this effect.

 Link for more high protein breakfast ideas from Judith Scharman's. She has more great high protein breakfast recipes that will make your mouth water. https://foodswithjudes.com/recipe/(search “breakfast”)

Second, hydrate often and well. 

This helps you avoid the “fake appetite” of mild dehydration. It is common for mild dehydration to feel like mild hunger and can lead to an impulse to eat when that’s not really what it needs yet. Save yourself the calories by staying well hydrated. 

Drinking lots of fluid puts pressure on your stomach which is another way to temporarily quiet the urge to eat. You can't use this as a substitute for the long term satiety that comes from well-balanced meals.

This same effect is helpful at avoiding overeating at meals. Starting a meal with a big glass of water (16 oz/2 cups) can immediately slow your eating, which in the end helps eat less while feeling satisfied.

Side perk- drinking 2 cups of water between meals gives a short term boost to your metabolism. What an easy way to rev your engine!

How much to hydrate you ask? A good recommendation is to take your weight in pounds, divide it by 2 and change that to ounces. For example, if you are 160 lbs that is 80 oz of water. This is 10 cups. You can overhydrate, especially if you have kidney or heart disease, or are losing electrolytes with sweating from heat or exercise- so take this into account before you guzzle.

My third favorite tip, practice ranking your hunger and fullness on a scale of 1-10. This helps you to notice how often you eat when you aren’t actually that hungry- which is quite a bit for most of us. We eat out of boredom, frustration, sadness because others are eating. Anytime you eat when you aren’t hungry you are going to store more fat and it won’t taste as good as when you are hungry.

Fourth, eat your vegetables and protein foods first at every meal. This again gives you a feeling of fullness by putting pressure on your stomach so it’s more natural to stop eating sooner. Saving carbohydrate foods such as fruit, grains, milk, sweets, chips, potatoes, rice, for the end of the meal is a way to better balance blood sugars without having to sacrifice anything. 

Last and probably my favorite- Get enough sleep. Really this looks like 7-9 hours with early to bed and early to rise. 

Not getting enough sleep immediately changes hormones that regulate our appetite. These changes make us feel hungrier from the get-go AND make it take longer to feel satisfied. Added perk- getting enough sleep and getting up early can also give us a natural metabolic boost. It’s small but it adds up over time. 

 Before we discuss how learned cues affect your appetite, I want to start by clarifying what I mean by learned cues. These are things that we are conditioned to respond to. For example, when you type in a password that you use ALL the time, it’s almost like you don’t even have to think about the wording, but your fingers type it out instantly. Or, have you ever gone on autopilot and driven in the wrong direction, because it is the direction you usually use to go places. Basically, it's a habit. I use the word cue for a reason though because all habits are a response to SOMETHING. That something, is the cue. Finding the cue that is prompting your behavior is key to creating a new response and new habits. That part of the process will have to be saved for another time.

Habits/routines come from neurological pathways that have been built through past experiences and they become stronger and more efficient over time. This means it requires less awareness to complete a certain task. This is so essential for our function, but that also means our experiences, especially the frequent ones, play a big role in shaping our choices and our future. It also means, the more we respond a certain way or do a certain thing, the more patient we will have to be when breaking that pathway- because they get stronger with repetition. 

We all have a vast amount of past experiences around food that influence what and when we choose to eat. After all, neurons that wire together, fire together. Here is an example of what that means. If you eat when you feel sad you just wired neurons around both the feeling and food. The next time you feel sad, it also triggers the neurons that remembered the food! You are more likely to think about food whenever you are sad now. In fact, you are more likely to think about the specific food you ate when you ameliorated your sadness with food. The more you eat food around sadness the more comfortable and natural it feels to keep doing it.

Any learned/automatic response will leave you feeling like something is missing if you don’t follow your normal routine. One time I decided to eat dessert first, because I wanted to, and just to remind myself I can. After I finished my meal I felt like I needed dessert again. But wait! I already had it. I don’t usually need another, I’m not stressed or hungry (which are cases where I would want another)! Why did I need another? This was a case of learned cue. I routinely include a treat after meals. Finishing my meal signaled to my brain I should decide on a dessert, because that is just what I do. It didn’t matter that I had one already, it was only natural to think about and want dessert.

Coming from someone who has very low mental energy these are both amazing and awful! If I have the right routines, I’m good as gold. If my routines get thrown off, or if I’ve developed bad habits… here comes trouble. I grew up hearing, Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny. 

Adopting healthy habits will challenge you to look very closely at both your thoughts and actions that contribute to the habits. In the end, success can hinge on a few small things. Finding these things helps you reach success faster and easier.

I would challenge you to look closely at your “weak spots” where you break down. What mechanisms of appetite can you trace them back to? This is where your personal challenge for success lies. And if you have a hard time figuring out your situation, connect with me and we will figure it out.

Double dopamine podcast link

We can probably all think of moments where we walked past freshly baked cookies or caught a whiff of french fries that restaurants so kindly pump in the air to catch our attention. In moments we can go from not thinking about food to needing to eat that food. Like now! And have you ever been faced with deciding what to eat but nothing sounded very good until you see what someone else is eating and bam, now you want it?

Last summer, the NY post featured an article highlighting a diner menu special called “my girlfriend’s not hungry”. For 5 bucks, this restaurant would add a few french fries, wings or cheese sticks. Because even when your girlfriend thinks she isn’t hungry she is going to end up grabbing food off your plate. This is that sensory input (the seeing and smelling) that is signaling our brains to eat. 

And then many of us, especially the older generations suffer from “clean your plate” syndrome. Part of this is not wanting to waste, but another big part is the visual cue of eating what we see in front of us. One year Bobby Flay made the resolution to always leave some food on his plate. I love that! I sometimes make a point to do the same. It is my way of rejecting the clean your plate syndrome. No, I don’t have to eat if I’m not hungry, and no I won’t keep shoveling food in if I feel comfortably full. To me, it also says, I’m going to leave something for later. It’s like leaving a little hunger so you know you will have room to enjoy, really enjoy, the next time you sit down for a meal. 

So, what to do about this?

First, being able to recognize this effect makes it so much easier to negotiate with the impulse to eat. It shifts the story we tell ourselves away from one of lack of control and failure, to one where you simply recognize how your body and senses work, which has a way more empowering and encouraging theme to it. That helped me be more logical about my eating too, which is really important to making good decisions.

These senses also offer the opportunity to use your senses to finding pleasure. We need pleasure!. Use mindful eating strategies to savor it! It's ok to just eat food for the mere pleasure of it- it is how much and what else you choose to eat that really makes the difference. Extract more pleasure from each bite of the foods you love and don’t forget to look for the pleasure that comes from not being stuffed and from being nourished too. 

Try reducing unnecessary exposure to sights and smells of food. Rearrange your environment, so you see those fruits and vegetables more and the chips and cookies less.  Don’t leave them in plain sight. Put them in the cupboard and put ready to eat fruits and vegetables on the counter or in the front of your fridge in clear containers. 

The influence of senses is always worse when you combine this with the forbidden food effect, hunger pangs or low energy signals. 

So stop telling yourself you can’t have food. That’s just not accurate because realistically no one is going to stop you. You can pick that food up and put it in your mouth. (watch this Jimmy Fallon about someone who wishes they could hire someone to do this) You don’t want everything those foods give you so you tell yourself you can’t. What you should tell yourself is what those foods give you, the good and the bad, and then own your decision whether to eat it or not.

Re-visit the other episodes on ways to manage hunger pangs and low energy signals, and over time you will indeed become an eating ninja! You will feel empowered and satisfied. It’s time to enjoy these wonderful appetites in a nourishing way!

Double dopamine podcast link

We only hear about how we are programmed to crave junk. I share ways to help you find and use the built-in success mechanisms we have. (see double dopamine podast).

Stomach pressure greatly affects our desire to eat. When there is low stomach pressure we want to eat and fill our bellies. These are hunger pangs.  When we have high pressure from a big meal we start to get uncomfortable and that tells us to stop. This mechanism is all about avoiding discomfort.  Sometimes this feeling comes with low glucose feelings we discussed last episode. Other times it doesn’t. It is helpful to know because how to address this depends on that.

If you don’t feel the signs of low blood glucose, consider waiting a bit. You can also help relieve this discomfort by adding pressure to your stomach. This is part of the volumetrics eating. It is the idea of taking up space in your stomach without a lot of calories to reduce your desire to eat. You can try a big glass of water, some broth, a handful of raw veggies to add pressure and relieve the discomfort. 

If you notice signs of low blood glucose, like mild headaches, feeling a bit slower, not focusing as well, and a little bit of general fatigue - then it’s time for a meal. Keep using strategies discussed last episode for balancing your glucose levels too.

So, next time you feel the urge to eat, stop and check your physical symptoms. At the very least make a mental note of what you are experiencing in your body and mind.  I have a great mindful eating tool as part of my free 7-day challenge that you can use to log physical feelings, emotions and other things that derail our good intentions. After filling it out, schedule a free 15-minute mini-consult and let’s figure out how to help you eat less, eat better and feel better. 

Whatever you do, don’t tell yourself that when you overeat or eat poorly, that it is a reflection of weakness or failure. It’s just your body demanding some care and attention. With your growing knowledge of your appetite, look more closely for what your body and soul are in need of.

Today I’m going to uncover the first of four reasons we feel the urge to eat.  I will teach you a little about how to use this knowledge to comfortably eat less food for the rest of your life. And eating less is the foundation for weighing less and feeling great. This is NOT a how-to-give-yourself-anorexia. It is so far from that. This is a how-to-eat guide, not a how-to-restrict guide. No one focuses on the eating part of nutrition, we always focus so much on what we are eating, but it is so essential to success and my favorite topic...

Virtually all the reasons you eat can be put into 4 categories. Today, we will talk about how drops in energy supply make you want to eat. Over the next 3 episodes, we will cover how stomach pressure, sensory cues and lastly, learned cues/habits work with our appetite...

Before we dive into this framework today, it is really helpful to appreciate that understanding why you want to eat is a lot like learning why an infant is crying. What do they do when they poop? They cry. What do they do when they are hungry? They cry! What do they do when they are cold? They cry. What do they do when they are in pain? They cry. You get my point. Basically, they don’t tell you what the need is, they just that there is a need. That is your appetite...

At the center of the human appetite is the need to feel good. Learning to identify and grow that feeling can address so much more than food needs. And yet, food is the most frequent opportunity you have to connect with these needs and learn to care for them. Learn how nutritious foods actually give us lots of pleasure here. 

My dietetic student intern, who also happens to be a personal trainer, health coach and mother of five shared some hard-earned wisdom on change and the power of now. Check it out at www.dietingdifferently.com/blog.  It sparked some additional thoughts

Years ago, I was listening to the radio (probably NPR!) and the speaker declared that we really only have the here and now. We can’t step into the future in order to change it, nor can we rewind and undo things. Life truly is made up of a million moments of now.

That hit me hard because at that time I was living in the binge/repent cycle, which is full of promises to do better tomorrow. But the only thing we have to make the future what we want is by doing what is in our control now.

I hear you singing the same song! “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I’ll eat better, tomorrow, it’s only a day away!”. Tomorrow I will make that appointment. Tomorrow I will exercise. Not to hate on tomorrow, because many “tomorrows” have saved my sanity. But today can be better too.

In response to this new realization, I started doing something weird, but it helped. The moment I sincerely started to regret eating something I went to the trash and spit it out, or threw away whatever was left. Now, this can be part of disordered eating habits, and the last thing I intend is to encourage any of that. But it wasn’t about purging calories. It was the principle. I wasn’t going to keep doing something when I know I didn’t like what it was giving me anymore. 

It was about living according to the dictates of my conscience. It was standing up for me. I was rebelling against my excuse to just finish this binge and start over later. You know this story too. The “I'll work on eating healthy after the holiday” trap we are all trying to climb out of. 

Creating a “win” right now, snowballed into more victories. Like, when I was turning that cake in the break room into my lunch, I would still go grab the vegetables I packed and eat those too. I decided to always try to include something nutritious when I ate sweets. This started out merely as a principle telling myself that while I was not going to cut sweets out of my life, I wasn’t going to let sweets cut out the foods my body needs. 

When I broke that rule I felt so much yuckier! I realized I felt so much better eating vegetables (or other nutritious food) before eating desserts. This made watching the portion and timing of my treats an instinct that I hardly think about or try to do. It’s just what feels right. 

Building the courage to confront my excuses grew into courage to tell others no also. Sorry Grandma, I still love you, but no, I don’t want another slice of your wonderful cake. 

So my dare, not challenge, it is a dare- is that sometime today if you start to notice you are getting full and still eating, get up and throw that food away. You aren’t saving the earth, and you are not saving yourself money by eating that. 

If you are already good at not overeating, go to the next step. If you realize you haven’t eaten a vegetable all day, walk straight to the fridge and grab a handful of carrots (or anything else you are willing to eat). Even if you only eat 3 tiny carrots. It isn’t about the carrot. It is about taking advantage of the now and standing up for the future that you want to have.

May 2020 bring you that future you wish to have. And may you have the courage and patience to make it happen. 

As I learned to listen to my body and my appetite I learned that I didn't have to fight it. I did have to learn how to understand it and take care of it. In doing so my appetite actually taught me a lot. Honoring my body and embracing my appetite became the best tool for getting healthier and more satisfied in life.