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Embracing a "Gain Mindset" As An Empty-Nester
Episode Summary
Do you ever look around your quiet home and wonder, “What now?”
Your kids are thriving, but you feel… stuck. It’s easy to measure your life by what’s missing — the noise, the busyness, the clear sense of purpose you once had.
In this episode, we explore a powerful concept from Dan Sullivan’s book The Gap and the Gain - the idea that fulfillment comes from how far you’ve come, not how far you still have to go. When you shift from living in the gap (what’s missing) to the gain (what’s grown), you begin to see yourself — and your life — in a whole new light.
If you’re a former stay-at-home mom navigating the empty nest stage and craving a renewed sense of joy, purpose, and self-expression, this episode will help you find fulfillment not by doing more, but by seeing more of what’s already here.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
Episode Highlights
1️. Understanding “The Gap”
When we measure ourselves against an ideal version of who we think we should be, we always come up short. The “gap” keeps us focused on lack — on what’s not done, not perfect, not yet discovered.
2️. Shifting into “The Gain”
The “gain” is what happens when you measure yourself against where you started. It’s the recognition that you’ve already grown — in wisdom, strength, compassion, and creativity — through the years of raising your family and building a home.
3️. Living from the Gain
From this new perspective, you start to see daily life differently. Instead of saying, “I’m behind on finding my purpose,” you might say, “I’m already rediscovering what lights me up.”
You begin to notice how much beauty and growth already exists within you — and how it can shape what’s next.
Reflective Journal Prompts
Quotes From The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan:
“The way to measure your progress is backward against where you started, not against your ideal.”
“Being in the GAIN means you measure yourself backward, against where you were before. You measure your own progress. You don’t compare yourself to something external. You don’t measure yourself against your ideals.”
“If you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. If you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack.”
“Your future growth and progress are now based in your understanding about the difference between the two ways in which you can measure yourself: against an ideal, which puts you in what I call ‘the GAP,’ and against your starting point, which puts you in ‘the GAIN,’ appreciating all that you’ve accomplished.”
Takeaway:
You don’t have to reinvent yourself overnight. You just have to notice how far you’ve already come.
The empty nest isn’t an ending — it’s your invitation to come home to you again: wiser, deeper, and freer than ever.
If you know you could use some support as you navigate both apathy and regret in the empty nest , email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call:.
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory
View all episodes
By Terri Bradway
5
9595 ratings
Episode Summary
Do you ever look around your quiet home and wonder, “What now?”
Your kids are thriving, but you feel… stuck. It’s easy to measure your life by what’s missing — the noise, the busyness, the clear sense of purpose you once had.
In this episode, we explore a powerful concept from Dan Sullivan’s book The Gap and the Gain - the idea that fulfillment comes from how far you’ve come, not how far you still have to go. When you shift from living in the gap (what’s missing) to the gain (what’s grown), you begin to see yourself — and your life — in a whole new light.
If you’re a former stay-at-home mom navigating the empty nest stage and craving a renewed sense of joy, purpose, and self-expression, this episode will help you find fulfillment not by doing more, but by seeing more of what’s already here.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
Episode Highlights
1️. Understanding “The Gap”
When we measure ourselves against an ideal version of who we think we should be, we always come up short. The “gap” keeps us focused on lack — on what’s not done, not perfect, not yet discovered.
2️. Shifting into “The Gain”
The “gain” is what happens when you measure yourself against where you started. It’s the recognition that you’ve already grown — in wisdom, strength, compassion, and creativity — through the years of raising your family and building a home.
3️. Living from the Gain
From this new perspective, you start to see daily life differently. Instead of saying, “I’m behind on finding my purpose,” you might say, “I’m already rediscovering what lights me up.”
You begin to notice how much beauty and growth already exists within you — and how it can shape what’s next.
Reflective Journal Prompts
Quotes From The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan:
“The way to measure your progress is backward against where you started, not against your ideal.”
“Being in the GAIN means you measure yourself backward, against where you were before. You measure your own progress. You don’t compare yourself to something external. You don’t measure yourself against your ideals.”
“If you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. If you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack.”
“Your future growth and progress are now based in your understanding about the difference between the two ways in which you can measure yourself: against an ideal, which puts you in what I call ‘the GAP,’ and against your starting point, which puts you in ‘the GAIN,’ appreciating all that you’ve accomplished.”
Takeaway:
You don’t have to reinvent yourself overnight. You just have to notice how far you’ve already come.
The empty nest isn’t an ending — it’s your invitation to come home to you again: wiser, deeper, and freer than ever.
If you know you could use some support as you navigate both apathy and regret in the empty nest , email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call:.
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory