In his works, especially within the later years, Carl Jung posited this idea of “holding the tension of the opposites”. He observed, and was deeply convinced, that we will inevitably encounter circumstances in our lives with opposite energies. Jung’s challenge to us is to hold the tension between the two.

For example, I was coaching an entrepreneur/investor a couple weeks ago who was considering making a huge investment in a business. It would be his biggest investment yet. The problem was a few people around him, including his partner, were not a fan of the idea. During our session, I could feel his excitement and conviction about the investment. I could also feel the internal conflict he had, knowing that his partner did not feel the same way.

Do you feel the tension of the opposites in this scenario?

On the one hand, this person has a deep conviction about where they want to go. And on the other, they’ve got someone they care about that makes it feel like they’re being held back.

This is an especially difficult place to be in. It felt like he had to choose between one or the other. But in reality, there was a third way hiding in plain sight. All he had to do was hold the tension of the opposites.

I sat with him for a few moments. I acknowledged the weight of it. Then I asked him, “Do you think you are able to create space and hold this tension for now?”

He paused.

During this pause, I can feel that an insight was coming through. You see, we often want to give people the answers but it’s always more powerful to ask them a question that could help them towards a more powerful insight for themselves.

After a few moments, he said, “I think so. I mean I’ve done my homework here and I do believe it’s a good opportunity. If I’m wrong, I’m okay with that. But I’m willing to find out. And we’ll be okay regardless. I just hate the feeling of disappointing my partner, so I just need to be okay with that.”

This is what happens when you give yourself space to hold the tension of the opposites. A new thing comes through. For this investor I was coaching, it was the insight of being okay with disappointing someone he loves, while not invalidating their emotions or his convictions. The third way was holding space for his partner’s fear, becoming present to hearing it and being able to stand in his conviction.

When Jung introduced the idea of “holding the tension of the opposites”, he admittedly was pointing to the first law of thermodynamics. Essentially, thermodynamics is a branch of physics that studies the relationships between heat, temperature, work and energy. To put it another way, thermodynamics is the study of how the universe organizes itself.

The first law of thermodynamics states that opposites must be present and in tension with one another, in order for energy to move through. Think of a burning log. The fire, a type of energy state, engages the log, another type of solid energy state, to create smoke; a new form of energy that emerges from the clashing of two opposites. Oceans, planets, and stars all operate under the first law of thermodynamics; including us, humans.

So consider your life right now. What opposites exist? I’m willing to bet that there is some sort of disorder replacing the order and comfort you’ve established for yourself.

What are the opposites in your life?And once you identify them, are you able to hold space for both?Could you trust that this is how the universe works?

And by trusting, what new creation or new birth might be waiting for you on the other side?

Maybe you’ve just taken on a new leadership role. There are behaviors that got you here, but it’s likely that your success in this new role requires surfacing old thinking habits, to allow for a new version of you to come through.

Maybe you’ve been with your partner for many years. And the intimacy feels stale. Perhaps it’s time to take inventory of what used to work for your relationship and toss out the things that don’t work anymore, in order to make room for a new iteration of your intimacy.

The way of the universe is to go from order, disorder to reorder. (Btw, I’m now alluding to the second law of thermodynamics, look it up). In this universal truth, you have the power to hold the tension of the opposites. Another way of seeing it is grieving. Holding the tension of the opposites is grieving.

Grieving is being with all the emotions. Honoring the way of the universe is to not bypass the grieving. Hold the tension of the opposite emotions. Joy, sadness, anger and everything in between. Allow them to be here. Sit with them. And they’ll pass through. They always do, because it’s how the system is designed. However, we get to play the important part of holding it. We need to consciously choose to play that part. Otherwise, the energy will become stagnant and this is how we get stuck.

My friends, you’ve got so much power.

You’ve been entrusted with the ability to hold space for all of the most intense energies of the world.

The truth is, deep inside you is the imprint of the Universe itself. You consist of the same energies that was there during the origin of the cosmos. You’re more powerful than you know.

Thank you for reading A Sunday Kind of Blog. Would you be so kind as to share this to your friends and family if you find it helpful?

The path is to remember this Ultimate Truth.

And if there’s a stirring inside you as you read these words, the good news is you are already on that path.

So then, your job is to keep waking up.

Go to the edge my friends. Lean, ever so gently, towards discomfort. There is new life there. That’s just how it all works.

That is just how it's all kindly designed.Fiercely loving you,

Jomar

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