Today I’m joined by Lauri Schoenfeld, a writer, speaker, and mother of 3. She hosts her own podcast, “The Enlightenment Podcast” and has recently released her novel, “Little Owl.” Lauri is a returning guest here to speak loud about embracing your inner weirdo. 

We often leave traumatic situations with traits and quirks that others may not have. When Lauri was younger, her best friends were her Barbie dolls--but when she was 12, her parents decided to throw them all away. After this, Lauri struggled to connect with wonder and curiosity, and for many years tried to be who she thought she was supposed to be rather than who she wanted to be.

Lauri says not to judge yourself for traits you have as a result of trauma. Instead, lean into them with curiosity. The differences, in her opinion, are what make us fascinating as human beings. The curiosity of understanding why we are the way we are without judging should be embraced with ourselves and with others. 

As an adult, Lauri used to refuse to show she was hurting. She kept a bandaid on but eventually had to ask herself what she hadn't been doing. The answer to that was, she hadn’t been loving herself and investigating what was hurting her. She had to rip off the bandaid and look under the surface, which is what inspired her book, “Little Owl.” 

The book was a journey of walking through her trauma. Doing so can be difficult, but Lauri engaged with her inner Nancy Drew and found a way to investigate her past in a wondrous, playful way. She was curious about what events had shaped her and what made her who she is today. 

Growing up, Lauri had a special connection to music. As a teenager, whenever she was angry, she had a go-to playlist that she would put on while driving as fast as she could through backroads. She created a safe space for herself to scream and be angry when it wasn’t allowed in the house. 

As an adult, Lauri has found different ways to cope, not only for herself but for her children, too. She still turns on her angry music, but now puts that rage into a punching bag. Her children all have different ways of engaging with anger that she engages in, whether that’s going on a run, having a punching bag session, or smashing plates and using the pieces to create something beautiful. Lauri’s made a point to invite anger and rage into her home--without directing it at each other. 

Listen in to hear more about dealing with abandonment, reflecting on unhealthy behaviors as an adult, and the process of writing a book and building a website. 

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