Emotional Expedition: A Journey of Healing with Meghan Thomas

Maybe you first heard the word schadenfreude in a 90’s Simpsons episode or maybe it was in a recent Ted Lasso episode where Coach Lasso declared his locker room a schadenfreude free zone. 

Or maybe this is the first you are hearing of it. Either way, I bet you have experienced this tough emotion. 

Schadenfreude is the compound of the German words schaden, meaning harm and freude meaning joy. The German language is known for accurately capturing nuanced emotions, often with compound words that make the meaning very clear. The definition of schadenfreude simply means pleasure or joy derived from someone else's suffering or misfortune. 

Brené Brown says that “Taking pleasure in someone else's failings, even if that person is someone we really dislike, can violate our values and lead to feelings of guilt and shame. but, make no mistake, it's seductive, especially when we're sucked into groupthink.” 

This emotion is so tough to talk about because it can bring up guilt and shame within ourselves. We saw this collective schadenfreude a lot during covid between the vaccinated and anti-vaxxers. Someone who is vaccinated who got happy when someone who was not vaccinated got sick with covid, that's schadenfreude. Not a pretty emotion. 

I think we’ve all had moments of schadenfreude and some of us more than others because schadenfreude has trait-like properties which means that some people have a tendency to take greater pleasure in others misfortune than others do. 

Sports can bring this emotion a lot. It's a tied game and the other team's leading scorer fouls out of the game. We celebrate their misfortune because we think it makes our chances of winning higher, that's schadenfreude. 

What's the opposite of schadenfreude? It’s freudenfreude, the enjoyment of another's success. It is also a subset of empathy. And it's a really powerful connection tool. 

In an intervention designed by researchers to increase freudenfreude they coined 2 new terms to describe behaviors that were very effective: 

Resources:

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There is magic in art. It’s been around since early civilization and has remained a constant through time. There’s something about art that calls to the innermost parts of us, evokes deep emotions, and tells a story that seems to go beyond time. It’s this magic that we, as artists, want to achieve with our work. This episode is a reminder of this magic and why it’s so important. 

“We have always needed a spiritual life. It’s a natural inclination and we have always needed a creative, cultural life.” – Joan Hanley 

Today, we have with us Joan Hanley. She was born an artist, and her entire life has been dedicated to that calling. She’s a teacher, creative arts mentor, and the author of the book Art & Yoga, which is one of my favorite books. She works from her studio in Harrisville, NH, and her magical paintings are shipped worldwide. She also offers one-on-one sessions and has art & yoga memberships. 

Three points of conversation Joan and I had: 

Joan is very honest and sincere in her answers, providing a place of solace and understanding for other artists and creatives. She shares her worldview and the way she goes through life in a way that evokes wonder. With her words, she encourages creativity, gives space for emotions, and reminds us that there is a space and purpose for artists and their art. 

“One of the greatest assets of a human being is imagination. And imagination needs to be cultivated just like anything else. And that’s what the arts do. They cultivate imagination.” - Joan Hanley 

She shared an excerpt from her book What’s Going On and it reads “Art does not state facts. It does not always represent what is out there in the world. Rather, it evokes profound realizations and emotions, even relationships and values in all their complexity, subtlety, and levels of meaning. At its best, it makes invisible realities present for our visitation and contemplation. Art is a way of knowing and discovering.” 

Connect with Joan Hanley 

Website 

Instagram 

What's Going On Book 

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Take a moment to look back at your life and let me ask you, was it a straight-line journey from where you started to where you are in life right now? My guess is that the answer is no. Life has so many unexpected moments and shifts, and all of them lead to where we are today. How these unexpected moments might look is something we’ll discuss more in this episode. 

Our guest today is a new friend, Brenda Winkle, with whom I share so many overlaps in life with. Brenda is an energy expert, an empowerment coach, and an Advanced ThetaHealing® Meditation Technique Practitioner. She also hosts the Waves of Joy Podcast. 

“So many times in life, there’s not a straight line.” – Brenda Winkle 

Brenda’s life had a lot of twists, turns, and unexpected developments that led her to where she is now, and she shares each of these defining moments in her life.  

Here are three stories she shares: 

Going from a music teacher, photographer, and Reiki master, to now living to directly help people, Brenda’s careers had some seemingly unexpected and different shifts. But the common thread through all of her jobs was something that had manifested since she was a child: her innate desire to help and make sure that everyone around her was okay.  

In this episode, you’ll hear about how she displayed courage in so many moments in her life; the multiple times she shifted careers when she chose to unlearn so many beliefs from childhood, and when she left an abusive relationship. Through it all she remained positive and was able to find true joy even when things were hard. Listening to her story will hopefully help you find some of the courage you need too. 

Trigger Warning: This episode has stories of domestic abuse. Listen with caution if this is a potential trigger for you. 

Connect with Brenda Winkle 

Website 

Instagram 

Twitter 

Facebook 

Pinterest 

YouTube 

Podcast 

Feel Better Fast Cheat Sheet 

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Were you ever in a situation where you just felt that something wasn’t right? Was there a moment when you just knew that something wasn’t right for you? Did you ever experience the worst of loss or the best of joy? All these experiences are found in the stories shared in today’s episode. 

My guest today is Bonita Shear, a living embodiment of light and love. I met Bonita during one of the worst moments of my life, and she was the only light that I saw during that year. Bonita has two great passions, Young Living Oils and Kundalini Yoga. Today, she motivates people and speaks on a variety of topics, including spiritual healing, finding one's purpose, and vibrant health. 

“Isn’t it interesting how we are all connected? All of us are connected. The thing is to listen. And to pay attention. And bring our gifts to the table, what we know works.” - Bonita Shear 

This is an episode full of storytelling, starting with me sharing how I met and eventually reconnected with Bonita, and her sharing her life story, which led her to where she is today. Three of the many stories Bonita shares are: 

There are so many moments of wisdom, encouragement, and comfort from Bonita in this episode, but the common thread through it all is the message to keep on going. Keep on going because you, your intuition, knows how to. Keep on going because there is more to life than any current circumstance you might have. Keep on going because you can experience the fullness of joy. Keep on going because you have yet to experience the best life has to offer. 

“Just when you think there’s no hope—Boing! Something comes along to shift your awareness, shift your consciousness, to put you in the right track, to put you in the vibration of love.” – Bonita Shear 

Trigger Warning: This episode has stories of abuse, murder, and suicide. 

Connect with Bonita Shear: 

Website 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube 

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Do you remember ever feeling frustration, anger, or bitterness toward someone? Do you remember thinking that the situation was unfair or not right? That emotion you felt might have been resentment. 

In Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, resentment is defined as “the feeling of frustration, judgment, anger, better than, and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or Injustice.” And in this episode, we’ll dive deeper into this emotion. 

What can we learn about resentment? Here are three points we discuss: 

“To be able to be honest about how we’re feeling with someone we care about is one of the most vulnerable and courageous things we can do.”  

What causes resentment? A lot of factors play into us feeling this emotion. It can be failing to communicate our boundaries, needs, and expectations. Saying “yes” to things we never should have agreed to. Not letting yourself fulfill a need you have. Suppressing your thoughts and feelings. There might be a myriad of factors and causes, but at the heart of all this is envy. 

What can you do when you recognize resentment in yourself? The first thing is to try to identify what’s causing your resentment. Is there an unfulfilled need? What are you envious of? What are your expectations? The important thing is to first identify them so you can deal with them. Another thing to do is to see the other person and recognize that just like you, they’re human with their own flaws, needs, and desires. This will help you better come from a space of compassion and empathy. Then you need to forgive and let go. 

“Instead of sitting at your desk, fuming and stewing in irritation, you can choose to see the other person’s humanity. They truly are just like you. They feel the same emotions, they have the same fears, and they want the same things.” 

In the end, resentment harms us and only us. It causes friction in our relationships. It makes us bitter. It blocks our creativity. It worsens our health. And it prevents us from experiencing joy. How we choose to deal with our emotions is on us. So now I ask you, what will you do the next time you feel resentment? 

Journal prompts for when you're feeling resentful: 

Resources: 

Atlas of the Heart Book Club: https://www.meghanthomas.com/atlas-of-the-heart 

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown: https://amzn.to/3IDyzci 

Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion by Pema Chodron: https://amzn.to/3GqlP6d 

Heart Talk by Cleo Wade:  https://amzn.to/3vOtaHK 

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We have been mixing up the words jealousy and envy our entire lives and so has most of the world. I am here to set the record straight…however, even knowing the differences you may still want to stick with your old ways!

In this episode we will learn:

“Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.” Maya Angelou

We will also learn the 3 ways which envy can be a good thing from Humble the Poet. 

Resources:

Atlas of the Heart Book Club: https://www.meghanthomas.com/atlas-of-the-heart

Atlas of the Heart By Brené Brown: https://amzn.to/3ItSx9n

How to be Loved by Humble the Poet: https://amzn.to/3GPDeqf

To all the Magic in Me by Pavita Singh: https://amzn.to/3ICTX1g

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The struggle with our own self-worth, external expectations and needing healing is a universal experience. Everyone goes through these, even those who appear so strong and seem like they have the perfect life. My guest for today is one of those people who experienced this invisible struggle. 

I’m so glad to have crossed paths with Iona Holloway. She’s the best-selling author of Ghost: Why Perfect Women Shrink, a coach, speaker, and creator of the Soul Breathwork app. She helps strong women do the inner work to find their blind spots so they can burn brighter and braver in their lives, work, and relationships.  

In this episode, Iona holds nothing back and dives deep into her life story, starting from her childhood, growing up with the implied expectation of perfection, moving from Scotland to the US, struggles with her body and self-worth, and how she ultimately found her healing, which led to her helping countless women today. 

“I think that we kind of come in the way we are, and we’re supposed to be adventuring, but sometimes, we have to get into pain in order to heal, and really become more of who we are.” - Iona Holloway 

Out of the many little nuggets of wisdom in this episode, here are three thoughts worth digging in to: 

If you were to ask anyone who knew Iona as a child, she would be described as complicated and smart. A prodigy, but somehow contrary. She was a gifted girl, a straight-A student, an international competitive athlete, a winning artist. But in hindsight, she saw that she was someone who didn’t know how to deal with her emotions, who lived with the implied pressure that she was supposed to be perfect, and that her perfection was supposed to come easily. She struggled with having the perfect body, using sports and eventually CrossFit as the shield to achieve it.  

“I don’t wish a rock bottom or a reckoning on anyone, but I love the hell out of that moment, because it forced so much clarity.” - Iona Holloway 

She did not like who she was, or who she thought she was supposed to be. She numbed down her emotions and shut down. She was so deprived of nutrition for food that her body just forced her to binge eat for survival. One day, she received the news that she was going to be an aunt, and that caused a shift in her world. 

Iona went through a coaching-based inner work healing journey. She hired coaches, gave up dieting and listened to her body, and she changed her life. In this journey, she discovered breathwork. It was life changing and she connected with it so much so that she trained to be a breathwork coach, and now teaches it through her Soul Breathwork app. 

“I remember waking up one day, and actually being happy to be me.” - Iona Holloway 

Not all of us were child-prodigies or have as bright a personality as Iona, but we can all see reflections of our own story in the ones that she shared, and we can all find our healing. Listen to the whole episode to hear her story and learn from her life. 

Connect with Iona 

Website: https://www.bravething.co/  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soul.breathwork/ https://www.instagram.com/ionaholloway/  

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ionaholloway/  

Ghost: Why Perfect Women Shrink by Iona Holloway: https://amzn.to/3Fzb6G2  

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Have you ever walked into a store and immediately felt anxious? Have you ever gone to a friend's house and left feeling completely depleted? Have you ever been at a holiday party and felt a wave of depression come over you?

This is energy. 

Sometimes we pick up other people's energy. 

And energy cords can act almost as a telephone transmitting one's emotions to another. 

In this episode I am going to share my fave tips, tricks & tools for clearing your energy field:

-Sponge Technique

-Spiritual Bathing

-Cord Cutting

-And more….

I’ll also show you how you can protect your energy before going out into the world. 

Then we will take a look at the deeper spiritual meaning of energy and energy cords. 

Resources: 

Atlas of the Heart Book Study: https://www.meghanthomas.com/atlas-of-the-heart

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: https://amzn.to/3W6IHhK

Energy Strands by Denise Linn: https://amzn.to/3jfKmD6

Full Show Notes: https://www.meghanthomas.com/blog/podcast%2Fenergy-clearing

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Today we are going to be using the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz to navigate our way through this holiday season!  

As Ram Dass famously said, “if you think you are enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” Boy was he right! Our families can bring out the best and the worst in us. And for some of us, holidays mean spending more time with our families then we typically do. The first thing we have to remember is we can’t change or control anyone else no matter how much we want to and how hard we try. We can only control ourselves and how we show up.  

So that’s where The Four Agreements come in! 

These 4 life changing agreements are: 

In this episode we will learn about each of the Four Agreements and tips to help you utilize them through the holiday season. I’ll share how I just navigated a stressful situation this past Thanksgiving with my mother in-law using The Four Agreements, and which agreement I’m struggling with currently.  

Resources: 

Atlas of the Heart Book Club: https://www.meghanthomas.com/atlas-of-the-heart 

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown: https://amzn.to/3up689E 

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: https://amzn.to/3uq31y6 

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It’s sad that society today doesn’t give much importance to learning conflict resolution skills and handling our emotions, which is unfortunate because they are constants in our lives. Not having the skillset to handle conflict and emotions can lead to personal issues such as not knowing how to say “no” and somehow agreeing to a suspicious timeshare presentation in Mexico, which is exactly what happened to our guest in this episode. 

Today, I have the pleasure of speaking with Kim Korven, the self-entitled Conflict Queen. Kim went from becoming a lawyer to a mediator and now she helps businesses and families across North America and Europe see the intrinsic benefit in transforming relationships through creating customized, fair solutions.  

“At the heart of so many conflicts is shame… whether it's the shame we are feeling ourselves or shaming someone else.” – Meghan Thomas 

Three ideas we explore and discuss in this episode: 

Kim shares her fascinating journey. Having always been a sensitive child and feeling misunderstood by her family that doesn’t “do emotions” and after several shameful experiences, she had shut down her emotions as a coping mechanism, even going as far as believing that crying was a sign of weakness. In a way of reclaiming herself, she studied law, which she thought was the perfect way of solving problems: objectivity without emotions, and she went on to have an on again off again relationship with practicing law. She later became a mediator, and she now spends her time helping families and businesses in the middle of a conflict they don’t know how to solve reach a win-win place for all parties involved. 

Kim shares practical tips on how to handle the inevitable conflict with family for this coming holiday season. From diverting the conversation when a polarizing topic comes up at the dinner table, to recognizing that when you’re on someone else’s turf, it’s their rules, and focusing on what you’re grateful for in a person and how to communicate that to them. 

More relatable though, are the stories she shared about how she personally handled conflict within her own family. She’s had socio-political disagreements with her father, but she has decided that her relationship with him was more important than changing his mind. She had a situation with her mother over banana pancakes and waffles, where she recognized that she was, indeed, the one who was invading her mother’s kitchen. And how she explains to her children her mother’s stress over greyhound fur whenever they come visit. 

This episode is full of nuggets of wisdom, aha moments, beautiful metaphors, and stories that will make us look into ourselves and reflect. 

“When you treat people right, without any expectation of getting a reward back, it can shift everything.” - Kim Korven 

Connect with Kim Korven 

Website: theconflictqueen.ca/ 

Instagram: instagram.com/conflictqueen/ 

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