S2 Episode 5: Empathy is Relationship Tonic

Episode Summary

As the saying goes, there is always two sides to every story.  Never is this more apropos than when experiencing a conflict in a romantic relationship.  If you want to have a successful interaction with your partner, make sure to practice empathy.  Try to understand their perspective by being open to what they have to say.  

Remember, you don’t have to agree with your partner to validate their feelings and show them respect.  When you try to understand where they are coming from or why they have certain beliefs, you offer them the opportunity to share more of themselves.  When people feel heard and understood in relationships it creates an environment where intimacy, trust and respect is easily built.

Moreover, when you practice empathy in a relationship you come to understand how your partner thinks and reacts.  This allows you to gain the upper hand in certain situations by allowing you to counter their arguments or reasoning.  It empowers you to advocate for yourself while seeing the other side of things.  Empathy is a skill set that can be developed and applied consistently in a romantic relationship.

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when a partner picks an argument in front of other couples.

Show Notes

The importance of empathy cannot be emphasized enough in a relationship. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes; to truly be able to understand their perspective. When your partner feels understood by you, they are so much more willing to listen. It works the same way when you feel understood, too.

Some people are naturally more empathetic than others. That said, empathy can be taught. If you want to be in a healthy relationship, you have to be willing to see things from your partner’s perspective. You don’t always have to agree with it, but you have to respect and understand their perspective.

You may have experienced relationships in the past that reflected an imbalance in empathy—perhaps you’ve had more empathy than your partner. It’s actually a benefit because you can more easily understand the decisions your partner makes and where they are coming from.

Keep in mind that empathy can be used for good or evil. Understanding your partner’s thinking gives you the upper hand in countering arguments and strengthening your own arguments. The easiest way to develop your empathy is to step back and imagine how you might react in another person’s situation.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When my partner picks an argument in front of other couples. It’s disrespectful to your partner and the people around you. When you point out something your partner does wrong, you're belittling them in front of people they may care about. If you continue to nitpick your partner in public, resentment will grow. You should always be a united front with your partner in front of other people.

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