Why do you chase harder when your partner pulls away?

You tell yourself you just want to sort things out. You want to talk. You want to know that you're okay.

But what if the chasing isn't really about them?

In this episode of the Empowered Marriage Podcast, I share my own experience of being the chaser — the people pleasing, insecurity, weak boundaries and need for reassurance that sat underneath it.

We explore why your partner pulling away can trigger such a strong reaction, how childhood patterns can follow us into our adult relationships, and why you can end up abandoning yourself just to stop someone else from abandoning you.

I also talk about moving out of the Adaptive Child and into your Wise Adult — learning to stay grounded in yourself even when someone you love is unhappy with you or needs space.

The question I want to leave you with is:

When they pull away, what are you actually chasing — them, or the feeling that you're okay?

🎙️ Empowered Marriage Podcast with Helen Harrison
Relationship & Personal Growth Specialist
Power of Change Counselling

Helping relationships thrive — one couple at a time.

Thank you for listening to the Empowered Marriage Podcast.

If today's episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could benefit. Every share helps us reach more individuals and couples who are committed to creating healthier, stronger relationships.

Remember, every relationship is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.

Creating deeper connection through self-awareness, belonging and intentional relationships.

Because the power of change is within you.

Connect with Helen Harrison
🌐 www.powerofchange.com.au
📧 [email protected]
📱 Facebook: Helen Harrison – Relationship & Personal Growth Specialist
💼 LinkedIn: Helen Harrison
▶️ YouTube: Empowered Marriage Podcast

To learn more about counselling, coaching, workshops and relationship programs, or to book a Relationship Reset Assessment or Personal Clarity & Reset Assessment, visit www.powerofchange.com.au.

Relationships rarely fall apart because of one dramatic moment. More often, emotional distance grows through the small, everyday habits couples barely notice.

In Episode 133 of the Empowered Marriage Podcast, Helen Harrison explores eight hidden habits that can slowly damage a relationship, including taking your partner for granted, turning away from bids for connection, criticism, defensiveness, contempt, withdrawal, too much screen time and losing curiosity about each other.

It can happen through the ordinary moments—the unanswered question, the phone you don’t put down, the kiss you stop giving, the thank you you no longer say, the eye roll or the conversation you continue to avoid.

Helen also shares practical ways to change these patterns through appreciation, curiosity, vulnerability, communication, repair, fun and intimacy.

If you recognise some of these habits in your relationship, don’t use them to blame yourself or your partner. Use them as an opportunity to become aware of the patterns creating distance and begin doing something differently.

If your relationship feels disconnected and you need support rebuilding connection, closeness and trust, visit Power of Change Counselling & Coaching.

Thank you for listening to the Empowered Marriage Podcast.

If today's episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could benefit. Every share helps us reach more individuals and couples who are committed to creating healthier, stronger relationships.

Remember, every relationship is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.

Creating deeper connection through self-awareness, belonging and intentional relationships.

Because the power of change is within you.

Connect with Helen Harrison
🌐 www.powerofchange.com.au
📧 [email protected]
📱 Facebook: Helen Harrison – Relationship & Personal Growth Specialist
💼 LinkedIn: Helen Harrison
▶️ YouTube: Empowered Marriage Podcast

To learn more about counselling, coaching, workshops and relationship programs, or to book a Relationship Reset Assessment or Personal Clarity & Reset Assessment, visit www.powerofchange.com.au.

You can share a home, sleep in the same bed, raise children together and still feel incredibly lonely in your relationship.

Emotional loneliness doesn’t necessarily mean the love has gone or that your relationship is over. Sometimes it means you have simply stopped emotionally reaching for each other.

In this episode of the Empowered Marriage Podcast, I explore why emotional disconnection can gradually develop in a relationship, particularly through major life transitions such as having children, demanding work schedules, raising teenagers or simply moving through different stages of life together.

You may still function well as a couple. You live together, parent together and manage everyday life, but somewhere along the way the emotional connection has started to disappear.

I also share three practical places to start if you’re feeling lonely in your relationship.

The first is to start turning towards each other again through the small, everyday bids for connection — a coffee, a kiss goodbye, a conversation about your day or simply inviting your partner to spend some time with you.

The second is to notice whether you are taking your relationship outside of your relationship. Does everyone else know how you’re feeling except your partner? Talking to friends and family can be supportive, but if you’re sharing your inner world with everyone except the person you’re in the relationship with, it’s worth becoming curious about why.

And thirdly, repair what is sitting between you. Loneliness often grows from unresolved hurt, resentment and repeated patterns. If those hurts continue to accumulate, reconnecting becomes increasingly difficult.

Feeling lonely doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is finished. It may mean it’s time to start reaching for each other again.

In This Episode

00:00 Welcome to the Empowered Marriage Podcast
01:45 Why do you feel lonely even when you’re together?
02:42 How emotional disconnection begins
03:02 Coming out of the bubble of love
04:19 How having children can change your relationship
06:04 Life transitions that create emotional distance
06:45 When you stop emotionally reaching for each other
07:37 Connection, disconnection and repair
08:20 Why couples can get stuck in disconnection
10:38 1. Start turning towards each other again
12:58 Small bids for connection
14:38 2. Stop taking your relationship outside the relationship
15:25 Does everyone know how you feel except your partner?
15:49 My own experience of not speaking up
17:35 Recognising your role in the loneliness
18:07 3. Repair what is sitting between you
18:24 Unresolved hurt and resentment
19:10 When it may be time to seek support
20:42 Three things to start doing differently
21:17 Feeling lonely doesn’t mean your relationship is over

Are You Feeling Lonely in Your Marriage?

If you feel more like flatmates than partners, have stopped emotionally reaching for each other or have years of hurt and resentment sitting between you, it may be time to understand what is happening underneath your relationship.

My Relationship Reset Assessment is designed to help you identify the patterns keeping you stuck, understand where your relationship is now and determine what needs to change.

Visit Power of Change Counselling & Coaching to learn more or book a Relationship Reset Assessment.

Helen Harrison
Relationship & Personal Growth Specialist
Power of Change Counselling & Coaching

Helping relationships thrive — one couple at a time.

#marriage #marriagecounselling #marriagecounseling #couplescounselling #relationships #relationshipadvice #emotionalconnection #lonelyinmarriage #marriageproblems #relationshipgoals #empoweredmarriagepodcast

Thank you for listening to the Empowered Marriage Podcast.

If today's episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could benefit. Every share helps us reach more individuals and couples who are committed to creating healthier, stronger relationships.

Remember, every relationship is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.

Creating deeper connection through self-awareness, belonging and intentional relationships.

Because the power of change is within you.

Connect with Helen Harrison
🌐 www.powerofchange.com.au
📧 [email protected]
📱 Facebook: Helen Harrison – Relationship & Personal Growth Specialist
💼 LinkedIn: Helen Harrison
▶️ YouTube: Empowered Marriage Podcast

To learn more about counselling, coaching, workshops and relationship programs, or to book a Relationship Reset Assessment or Personal Clarity & Reset Assessment, visit www.powerofchange.com.au.

Do you still love your partner — but somehow keep ending up in the same arguments, disconnection and unhealthy relationship patterns?

Sometimes the problem isn’t that the love has gone.

Sometimes old emotional wounds and childhood survival patterns are showing up in your adult relationship.

In this episode of the Empowered Marriage Podcast, I explore how the roles we learned growing up can unconsciously shape the way we relate to our partner today.

You may recognise yourself as the people pleaser, peacemaker, caretaker, lost child or high achiever — roles that may have helped you receive love or feel safe growing up, but can create problems in an adult relationship.

I also unpack two relationship dynamics I regularly see:

The mother / teenage son dynamic, where one partner carries the mental load, manages and controls while the other withdraws, becomes defensive or avoids responsibility.

The father / teenage daughter dynamic, where one partner becomes one-up, controlling or critical while the other becomes one-down, pleasing and afraid to use their voice.

Over time, these dynamics can destroy equality, emotional connection and intimacy.

The question isn’t simply, “Do I love my partner?”

A deeper question is:

“Am I relating to the person in front of me — or am I reacting to them through my old wounds, roles and survival strategies?”

Awareness gives you the opportunity to step out of the pattern and begin relating again as two equal adults.

In This Episode

00:00 Are You Loving Your Partner or Your Wounds?
01:40 How childhood roles develop
04:06 The Hero Child
05:17 The People Pleaser & Peacemaker
06:38 The Caretaker / Parentified Child
07:46 The Lost Child
09:14 How childhood patterns enter adult relationships
10:04 Are You Living With a Manchild?
10:49 The mother / teenage son dynamic
12:21 When couples become flatmates
13:03 Looking underneath the relationship pattern
14:20 The one-up / one-down relationship
15:21 Losing your voice in a relationship
16:39 My own experience as the people pleaser
17:22 The mighty need to mellow & the one-down needs to stand up
18:58 Do I really love my partner?
19:13 Am I relating from my old wounds?
20:19 Learning to meet as two equal adults
21:18 Why you keep having the same arguments

Is Your Marriage Stuck in a Pattern?

If you feel more like flatmates than partners, keep having the same arguments or no longer know how to reach each other, it may be time to understand what is really happening underneath your relationship.

My Relationship Assessment is designed to help you identify the patterns, understand where your relationship is now and determine what needs to change.

Visit Power of Change Counselling & Coaching to learn more or book a Relationship Assessment.

Helen Harrison
Relationship & Personal Growth Specialist

Thank you for listening to the Empowered Marriage Podcast.

If today's episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could benefit. Every share helps us reach more individuals and couples who are committed to creating healthier, stronger relationships.

Remember, every relationship is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.

Creating deeper connection through self-awareness, belonging and intentional relationships.

Because the power of change is within you.

Connect with Helen Harrison
🌐 www.powerofchange.com.au
📧 [email protected]
📱 Facebook: Helen Harrison – Relationship & Personal Growth Specialist
💼 LinkedIn: Helen Harrison
▶️ YouTube: Empowered Marriage Podcast

To learn more about counselling, coaching, workshops and relationship programs, or to book a Relationship Reset Assessment or Personal Clarity & Reset Assessment, visit www.powerofchange.com.au.

Thank you for listening to the Empowered Marriage Podcast.

If today's episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could benefit. Every share helps us reach more individuals and couples who are committed to creating healthier, stronger relationships.

Remember, every relationship is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.

Creating deeper connection through self-awareness, belonging and intentional relationships.

Because the power of change is within you.

Connect with Helen Harrison
🌐 www.powerofchange.com.au
📧 [email protected]
📱 Facebook: Helen Harrison – Relationship & Personal Growth Specialist
💼 LinkedIn: Helen Harrison
▶️ YouTube: Empowered Marriage Podcast

To learn more about counselling, coaching, workshops and relationship programs, or to book a Relationship Reset Assessment or Personal Clarity & Reset Assessment, visit www.powerofchange.com.au.