11.25.2019 - By Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., PMH-C
Do you find the holidays stressful? We would all have to say YES if we’re completely honest. For a pregnant mom, a postpartum mom, or a mom experiencing loss, the holiday obligations can be overwhelming in magnified ways. In today’s solo episode, we will discuss how to survive the holidays and manage stress by setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care.
Show Highlights:
The holidays: a mix of lovely things and difficult moments with the unseen pressure of motherhood to take care of everyone
Boundaries are not easy, and sometimes confusing, but necessary
Set boundaries around family, friends, spending, activities, and the time you spend with others
Don’t be afraid to communicate what your needs are
In spending time at someone’s house, have a set time limit or some kind of communication with your partner to signal when it’s time to go
To figure out where you need boundaries, ask yourself, “What brings me stress? What do I find difficult?”
Why we feel guilty for setting boundaries
How anger and resentment toward others will develop when we don’t set boundaries
How pushback from someone else can signal the need for boundaries
It’s OK when you need a time-out from the tension of social situations
Important skills include knowing when to say NO and when to say YES
Why you shouldn’t feel obligated to do things that aren’t good choices for you
Allow flexibility and compassion in considering your needs
How saying YES and NO protects against resentment building up in relationships
Ask yourself what you need when you feel anger, guilt, anxiety, and sadness
If sleep and self-care are not on your holiday list, then you will feel depleted
Sleep is essential for health and restoration, but especially for pregnant moms, postpartum moms, and moms with loss
Give yourself permission NOT to do everything
Steps to take to manage stress:
Think about times in the past when you’ve ignored your own needs
Figure out where you can make adjustments
Find places where you can say YES and set limits
Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty
Why your new holiday regimen should be ways to manage stress, keep your energy level, and feel like yourself
What feels restorative, whole, and good to you?
Set intentions for baths, yoga, solitary walks, connection time with a friend, alone time, or time with your partner
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