This is one of those Buddhist tenants that have always bugged me a little bit.

The idea that reality is permeable, or fluctuating, or easily suggestible. As in, there is our reality, not a single reality.

In simple terms - when you are in a rush, everyone is moving to slowly. When you just got great news, or are falling in love, everyone is moving at the perfect speed.

One little thing can turn our whole day upside down or right side up. Life is how we think about it. Eyes show different people different things. Glass half full / half - you get it -

In physics it’s called the measurement problem. The theory that the observer always affects what’s observed. How we look at something changes it. It’s also called the The dandelion principle. Some people call a dandelion a weed, a menis, and for some it’s medicine, a detoxifier to the liver, a tool for women to produce more breast milk.

There are many dharmic teachings that remind us that so much of our life is not just the action but also the state of con­sciousness that we choose to reside in. Our suggestible storytelling and story-filled mind is the very thing that determines the nature and quality of the words we utter and actions we take. There are people who have it all and still don’t feel enough. People who are powerful, famous, rich, and still profoundly unhappy.

Okay, this all makes sense to me… Now, what if I say that I see a ton of disparity, unfair death, war, genocide, a planet in pain, abuse and greed, is that all just in my mind?

No - these things are most defiantly happening, but as you know - some people do not see them that way. Some people don’t see a planet hurting. Some people only see profit and not people. Some people are in fear for their lives while others see justice and righteousness taking effect.

I think the phrase, “all that you see out in front of you is how you feel inside your head” is more about this ability we have to convince ourselves of anything. To come up with and believe in a story that serves or harms us.

And since we are so suggestible, one of the things we get to do in this life is open up this field of inquiry. Ask ourselves, is this real? Is this thought real? Does this cause harm? Am I complicit? Is this that serious compared to what could be happening?

By taking a moment to arrive and see what truly is, to take in a perspective larger than just our story, we’re allowing reality to come to us.

A reality that is much bigger than us as the main character. A reality that says we are tiny pieces of dust, but also, we can love, take action, and heal in profound ways. A reality that is both beautiful and full of devastation. A reality where what we do matters and doesn’t matter at all.

By opening up this field of inquiry, we’re seeing what's here rather than imposing a story about what's here. This requires us to take on the task of challenging what we have been told, and going head to head with the oppression we have internalized through any allegiance we may have to poisonous and outdated stories.

How much liberation is in our lives depends on how much space we make for it to exist - in all that is here, not simply what we pick and choose to be here.

xo

Engaged Liberation is a labor of love. If you appreciate the time and effort that has gone into this, please consider becoming a paid subscriber.

Mariana is a brilliant artist and astrologer based in Medellin, Colombia but nurturing wisdom and readings worldwide. Mariana blessed me this week. With a very inspiring convo but disciple as the way to liberation, as well as with a very on point and public Tarot card reading! That is now all of ours reading. Enjoy.

Love & Liberation xo

I don’t know if I’ve ever truly arrived in my life.

In moments of course. I think we all know these moments when we’re so completely present it almost feels unfair and completely like what life should always feel like all the time. Those moments when life hits us in the most beautiful way. It’s often simple things like an incredible meal with people you love. An incredible cup of coffee before the chaos of the day begins. Or, arriving in a place that soothes your soul and doesn’t call you to pick up your phone for some other stimuli. There are more dramatic moments like falling in love (of course), but even before the fall, that first date presence when you know it’s good, like really good. Maybe you even did some mushrooms once and you just sat in the grass and knew you were good, no worries, no other moment but this.

But arriving in a permanent way - no, not yet at least. Not for me.

I sell out a show of mine, something I’ve been working on for years and I’m mentally thinking how this is just a step to what is next. To be honest - I started this Substack as an exploration step to my next book.

I am often caught in this “what’s next?” cycle…. This place where everything is a step to something else. This has traditionally been my struggle with relationships and partnership - because it’s not a step, and it shouldn’t be a step to the next thing - it is the thing itself. In partnership (any sort of partnership / relationship) all the other person wants from you is to arrive and be present.

Admit it - that’s what we want from them as well.

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And so, Arriving is my work here. The great work for which all other work is merely preparation.

And that sometimes means arriving into my discomfort. I just had a birthday and I was not feeling good about myself. I was trying to find blame in others for why I felt so uneasy with my life. I was blaming Hollywood, where I lived, at times my partner, my co-workers, my agents, myself - you name it - something was always the problem - and so change needed to happen.

But in chatting with my mama, I was reminded that it so much easier to run away from things rather than to engage with them. And how so often that is what I do - like the time I was in this relationship and instead of telling the woman that I was seeing that I was done, instead of that, I almost took a job in Abu Dhabi to become a live game show host for Ferrari World - true story. Thank god, universe, and all the spirits I did not take that job - word on the inside is that it was a disaster.

Anyway, my mama said, “Before you go looking for something else. Arrive here first.”

And so, I try to keep arriving. To stop blaming others or looking for excuses and stories that might make this moment better. This arriving is so freeing. Feels good. Peaceful. Even if their is pain in your life, pain in this moment, I believe their is liberation in arriving… and from there we can see and allow and create what is next.  

If you love Engaged Liberation, find some medicine and love here, consider buying me a coffee and/or supporting me here for just $2.75 / $3.35 / $5 a month! Also - now’s a perfect time to buy a copy of Brown Enough in Paperback (one for you, one for the homie, one for the neighborhood library) and listen to the Podcast, Season 3 dropping October 22nd!

The majority of them are pointless, not true, and not even tangible.

40-60 thousand thoughts in a day, give or take. If we were to give equal weight to each one of those thoughts, we wouldn’t be able to function, and so, our brain focuses on the scariest ones to keep us “safe.”

Now “safe” - for the most part, for most people in todays society, “safe” has evolved past the lion in the trees, or the immediate fear of physical harm (of course, there are millions currently facing genocide and who are seeking primal “safety” - a prayer for our troubled times).

But for the majority of us, what we focus deeply on is the one thing that went wrong - like, if you got a 99 on a test, you will likely always remember the one question you missed - “Adriatic Sea, not mediterranean - idiot!” 

Or we focus (obsess) on the one thing we don’t want to happen.

They say depression is a harboring on the past and anxiety is a harboring in the future. I don’t have to be the person who tells you to be present - you already know it. It’s what you’re seeking with pretty much every action you take- some sort of arrival into presence. 

So, for us over thinkers who obsess on what happened or might happen, how do we find relief?

For me, when in the rut of think think think, what nourishes and stills my mind is some wisdom I got from a beautiful holy man in life. He says, “When we think and think it’s because we don’t trust. We don’t trust ourselves, we don’t trust our gods (whichever ones serve you or we serve).”

This lack of trust is our lack of safety. We want to control. And control is in direct conflict with trust. With allowance, with ease.

When I’m trapped in thinking I remind myself how much I am not trusting and how desperately I am controlling. This reminder usually brings ease and spaciousness to the moment.

That spaciousness is where peace begins.

xo

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Kevin and I chat the art of curation, art for art sakes, having a healthy relationship to dying, what ancestral wisdom can teach us about getting free, and the medicine of not editing your life, but living it.

Kevin Becerra is a dear friend, an artistic genius, and a creative producer who I have been fortunate enough to collaborate with and learn from. Enjoy y’all. xo

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You know the story: Yesterday they were on a jet talking self-care, and also about what a bad b***h they were. They used a fun filter and everything. They told their fans to care about themselves and each other, but also to use goop sun screen (not a sponsored post, I swear).

Today they found them unresponsive, ODed on… it doesn’t really matter what.

All we know is that they finally had enough.

And now what?

What’s the family going through? I hope the fans don’t follow suite.

I don’t know what it feels like to suffer like you - but - also - yes -

We know it’s not just famous influencers that struggle to share their truth.

That there is a disconnect between little boxes for public consumption and what we whisper to ourselves late at night and early in the morning or anytime when we aren’t distracted.

We’re like little pieces of yarn that get wound up, wound and wound, tight, until we can’t see anymore.

But we don’t know we’re wound or maybe we do. Maybe we think it’s normal to feel like this.

So we keep going. We keep posting. We keep manifesting. We keep reading self-help books while communal health melts around us. We keep flying - another Icarus that just didn’t know better.

I think if we were to begin to sit with ourselves more. Not run from those scary thoughts. Not need to produce content more than we need to be content. If we chose ourselves, liked ourselves, stopped running from ourselves we might find some space to turn these habits over-

And all of a suddenly the yarn comes loose.

A chord that unties to discover the day with open eyes. Or, a chord that opens us, feels like home.

We remember to be children of time. To run alongside the endless seconds because they will still be there when we are not. Because we had good ancestors. Even in all this s**t we had some good ancestors along with the lost ones. And we get to be good ancestors too. Rested ancestors. Peaceful ancestors.

Because if we are peace, the world is peace. If we rest, we help them rest.

That's why we have to live our own lives, not lives made of content for people you don’t really know and who will never make you the center of their life, they will never make you the main character in their story - because it’s their story.

This overwhelming feeling of our time is that we are missing something. Sleepless and anxious, because we are missing something. It’s our actual life. We’re missing this moment. This life. This breath. It’s all behind us or ahead of us, but it’s not here.

We have to make space for it just as windows stay open to welcome the sun.

Ask yourself, WHAT’S THE END GOAL?

Ask yourself, how many times have I passed on spending time with loved ones, or doing something I want to do, under the guise of ‘working harder’ to spend more quality time and do things I love with people I love in the distant future, after I’ve gotten to that proverbial finish line?

Here’s an invitation:

Turn your work ethic into a bed, and make your arms and legs branches. Arrive.

Remember that many of the things you’re working so hard for are already here. Watch clouds break and wind blow. Open your mouth and let the snow melt on your tongue.

Feel the world. Feel its pain, its beauty. Feel the currents, the overflow.

You thought you were alone. You’re not.

You’re among those who dared and wanted and tried and loved and needed and rested and prayed and forgave and kissed and made love and regretted and just wanted what we all want - LIBERATION.

To go to bed in peace and wake up in peace.

To be both the sun and the moon and the earth and the stars and the clouds and the paper and the pirate and the refuge. All of it. All of us. All the time.

Like surfing. You gotta listen and you have to be patient. Catch the wave with everything that you are.

Say to yourself, “I was what I was, I am what I will be, the future is in this breath, an ever-unfolding practice of right now. I have arrived.”

Start here. “Even if I don't want to, I am ready, I have arrived.”

You can still get to the places you want to go. But first you must arrive. Start here. Leave no stone unturned. Don’t be afraid of the dirt. 

So, you fell apart last night. That’s okay. Start here. Set yourself free.

This is life coming into harmony with reality.

Start here.

Stop chasing what you already have.

xo

Engaged Liberation is free for all readers. It is a labor of love, but it is labor. If you appreciate the time and love that has gone into this, please consider becoming a paid subscriber:

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xo

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Enjoy xo

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