The Hard Conversation Each Enneagram Type Avoids

Tannah opens the episode anxious that her air conditioner and Nest thermostat are malfunctioning, then shares lake-trip updates and chaotic back-to-school and kids’ soccer logistics, including a messy car and her son’s “helicopter collection” of applesauce tops. The hosts of Enneagram Adventure—certified Enneagram coaches—introduce the topic of courage as the willingness to stay in discomfort, especially during hard conversations, emphasizing curiosity, directness, and kindness. They discuss practicing timely conflict repair (a 48-hour rule), how twos may keep score and struggle to ask for needs without feeling selfish, and how eights’ directness can mask fear of vulnerability. They note head types can intellectualize patterns without embodying change, compare discomfort training to cold plunging and running, and end relieved that Tannah’s AC is working.

00:00 AC Panic Cold Air

01:23 Lake Trip Recap

03:27 Chaotic Family Schedule

05:47 Podcast Intro Enneagram Basics

07:18 Courage Hard Conversations

08:58 Workplace Conflict Skills

12:05 48 Hour Rule Resentment

15:52 Brave Words Kid Boundaries

17:54 Write It Down Dont Send

21:02 Eights And Vulnerability

22:35 Directness Without Cruelty

26:18 Calling Out Judgment

27:48 Curiosity And The Stories We Tell

30:52 Twos Asking For Needs

32:12 Breaking Childhood Patterns

34:35 Letting Others Find Their Way

37:57 Knowing Versus Feeling It

39:40 Training Discomfort Tolerance

42:16 Workout High And Rewards

43:14 AC Update And Wrap Up

45:07 Listener Questions And Goodbye

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Hosts Tannah and Holly open with travel updates, poor air quality, and a puppy cameo, then share how Tannah decided to travel to New York for Ironman Lake Placid to support Aaron’s friend Logan despite Aaron’s broken collarbone, using a “how do you want to feel?” decision exercise. They introduce Enneagram Adventure, note they are IEQ9-certified coaches, and frame the episode around a Ryan Holiday (modern stoic) idea: virtue is a verb. Using the Enneagram vice-to-virtue concept, they discuss each type’s virtue as actionable practice: Type 1 serenity, 2 humility, 3 hope, 4 equanimity, 5 non-attachment, 6 faith, 7 sobriety, 8 innocence, and 9 right/aligned action, with examples like boundaries for twos, releasing expectations for fives, and slowing down for sevens. They close with community CTAs, mention Hector returning to discuss Type 4, and end with travel well-wishes.

00:00 Puppy Chaos Intro

00:41 Wildfire Smoke Check

02:03 Trip to Lake Placid

03:11 Choosing Experiences

05:12 Virtue Is a Verb

06:51 Stoicism and Ryan Holiday

09:23 Enneagram Vice to Virtue

11:10 Type One Serenity

14:31 Type Two Humility

20:41 Type Three Hope

23:07 Type Four Equanimity

24:42 Type Five Nonattachment

28:03 Type Six Faith

30:06 Type Seven Sobriety

32:35 Type Eight Innocence

35:56 Type Nine Right Action

37:35 Wrap Up and Community

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Tannah and Holly open with a light moment about their sleepy dog Bodhi’s “Fritos feet,” then Tannah recounts a terrifying solo-parenting incident at town fireworks when her seven-year-old, Keegan, disappeared for about 15 minutes and was found after she enlisted friends and asked a daycare teacher for help; she describes the fear, anger, tears, and the “lecture of a lifetime,” plus guilt about others “wasting their time.” Holly shares her own lost-kid memory at a Civil War reenactment. They pivot to Enneagram Adventure’s topic: “reality distortion” from the IEQ9 Coaching Companion, explaining “faking good” (overly positive, avoidant, performative, blocking hard conversations) and “faking bad” (overly negative, self-critical), noting their own zero scores in faking bad and observing a few clients higher in faking bad, often women and sometimes sixes. Holly uses Aaron’s Colorado bike crash and broken collarbone two weeks before Ironman Lake Placid to illustrate faking good and suppressed anger/sadness. They connect parenting, fear-based messaging, and building safe relationships through hard conversations, then close with a request to share, subscribe, and follow their platforms.

00:00 Sleepy Dog Debut

01:24 Solo Parenting Recap

01:43 Fireworks Kid Scare

05:20 Relief And Aftermath

06:10 Her Lost Kid Memory

12:00 Podcast Kickoff

13:03 Reality Distortion Explained

15:28 Faking Good In Relationships

21:57 Oversharing And Connection

24:24 Faking Bad Patterns

27:09 Culture And Demographics

28:18 Why Full Assessments Matter

29:23 Changing Reality Distortion

31:00 Faking Good vs Bad Scores

32:46 Bike Crash Emotional Coverup

39:08 Losing Kids and Faking Bad

40:54 Inherited Judgment Patterns

43:31 Parenting Through Fear

49:52 Safe Space Parenting Stories

52:29 Pokemon Cards and Truth

55:52 Wrap Up and Next Steps

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Holly and Tannah open by chatting about trip prep stress, packing bikes/workout gear, and Tannah being “voluntold” to coach 4-year-old rec soccer during a busy 4th of July week. They introduce Enneagram Adventure, noting they’re IEQ9-certified coaches and that the Enneagram explores core motivations. The episode focuses on how attachment styles may show up across Enneagram types, emphasizing they are not therapists and that examples vary by person and relationship. Holly briefly defines secure, anxious/preoccupied, avoidant/dismissive, and disorganized attachment. They then discuss each Enneagram type (1–9), describing possible anxious/avoidant/disorganized patterns and sharing personal examples, including Tannah’s reflections as a type 2 and Holly's as a type 5, plus observations about 3s, 4s, 6s, 7s, 8s, and 9s. They close with a request for topic ideas, invites to like/subscribe, and mention their Substack.

00:00 Trip Prep Catch Up

01:10 Voluntold Soccer Coach

03:55 Podcast Intro Disclaimers

05:26 Attachment Styles Overview

08:38 Type One Relationship Rules

13:36 Type Two Helper Patterns

20:34 Type Three Image And Success

24:10 Type Four Push Pull Depth

27:15 Type Five Mind Meld Shutdown

35:23 Type Six Hypervigilance Testing

38:02 Type Seven Fun And Avoidance

40:26 Type Eight Control And Distance

43:58 Type Nine Checking Out

46:56 Wrap Up Requests And Where To Find Us

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Holly and Tannah open by joking about a hot Wisconsin summer that still leaves them cold after a rainy boat day on Lake Wisconsin, then introduce their Enneagram Adventure podcast and explain that the Enneagram focuses on core motivation rather than behavior. Building on last week’s apology episode, they discuss being “unapologetically yourself” and how social media or work personas can become a front, then use the Enneagram “soul child” theory (your growth number as who you were as a small child before safety, criticism, or trauma shifted you) to explore authenticity across all nine types. They give examples including Holly’s five-to-eight story, eights softening into two-like warmth, twos accessing four-like emotional honesty, and how threes, sixes, and nines grow toward preparedness or action. They conclude that authenticity means dropping the mask—not being a jerk—and invite listeners to like, subscribe, share, and review.

00:00 Midwest Summer Whiplash

00:51 Boat Day Storm Stories

02:20 Podcast Intro And Enneagram Basics

04:00 Unapologetically Yourself Theme

05:58 Soul Child Theory Explained

09:03 Authenticity And Social Masks

10:07 Type One To Seven Growth

14:11 Seven To Five And Real Examples

18:25 Five To Eight Personal Story

21:37 Eight To Two Vulnerability

25:28 Trauma And Toughness

27:11 Two To Four Growth

31:38 Flow State And Safety

33:06 Debate And Triggers

37:22 Four To One Shift

41:08 Three To Six Drive

43:37 Six To Nine Preparedness

47:14 Nine To Three Push

52:25 Wrap Up And OutroEmail the Podcast : [email protected]



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On a dock after a walk-run and coffee in Wisconsin summer, Tannah and Holly introduce their podcast, Enneagram Adventure, explaining that as IEQ9-certified Enneagram coaches they use the Enneagram to explore core motivations rather than surface behaviors. They unpack a Joe Hudson post about how people “hear someone’s childhood” in their apologies, linking apology patterns to shame: over-apologizing after one mistake, pre-apologizing (“sorry to bother you”) from feeling guilty for taking up space, and refusing or deflecting accountability (“sorry you feel that way”) from associating apologies with blame. Through an Enneagram lens, they discuss how different numbers and stances might lean toward these patterns, share personal examples (including Tannah’s tendency to apologize unnecessarily and her husband’s difficulty apologizing), and emphasize discerning true harm from merely making someone uncomfortable while living more authentically.

00:00 Dockside Intro Vibes

00:52 Podcast and Enneagram Basics

02:05 Why We Over Apologize

03:44 When Apologies Lose Meaning

04:46 Forgiveness and Self Forgiveness

06:12 Joe Hudson Apology Framework

08:05 Enneagram Types and Apology Styles

10:43 Real Life Eights and Nines

12:08 Receipts After Sorry

13:53 Stop Apologizing for Existing

15:13 Authenticity Versus People Pleasing

16:07 Knowing When You Owe One

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Tannah and Holly co-hosts of Enneagram Adventure (both IQ9 certified Enneagram coaches) discuss how life and relationships improve when you choose genuine curiosity and a willingness to understand others, especially across political or belief divides. They emphasize that understanding doesn’t equal forgiveness and that healthy depth requires mutual effort, not one-sided responsibility or tolerance of unhealthy dynamics. Using the Enneagram as a tool for self-awareness, they explore how triggers, ego, pride, resentment, manipulation, and conflict can block curiosity, and how deep work gets easier with practice. They give quick “curiosity questions” for each Enneagram type (1–9) to help people understand themselves and others, then invite listeners to reach out for a recommended assessment or future episode ideas.

00:00 Love Story Park Intro

00:24 Podcast Welcome Setup

01:00 Enneagram Basics Disclaimer

02:08 Why Curiosity Matters

03:26 Politics Divide Example

06:08 Boundaries Accountability

07:05 Conflict Versus Forgiveness

07:37 Subtypes And Curiosity

09:22 Self Awareness Deep Work

14:52 Enneagram As Gateway

17:41 Compassion In Relationships

22:52 Deep Work Gets Easier

26:06 Questions For Each Type

27:13 Understanding Their Motives

27:50 Type One Curiosity

28:30 Type Two Boundaries

29:19 Type Three Letting Go

29:58 Type Four Feeling Seen

30:36 Type Five Asking Help

31:37 Type Six Positive Intent

32:55 Type Seven Facing Pain

34:29 Type Eight Beyond Anger

36:00 Type Nine Staying Present

38:09 Outdoor Wrap Up

38:51 Where To Find Us

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Tannah and Holly open with puppy life vet visits for a double ear infection, struggles finding any treat the dog will take, and potty-training sleep disruptions before introducing their podcast, Enneagram Adventure, where they discuss growth through the Enneagram as IQ9 certified coaches. The episode focuses on the “prideful” part of each Enneagram number, framed by the ideas that pride is what we’ve been praised for and what we refuse to question, tying pride to identity and ego patterns. They walk through types 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1, describing common praised traits (easygoing, strong, fun, prepared, knowledgeable, unique, winning, helpful, perfect) and how over-identifying with them can block vulnerability, boundaries, conflict, or self-worth separate from performance.

00:00 Picky Puppy Problems

01:36 Treat Training Breakthrough

03:29 Playdate and Pet Banter

04:38 Podcast Intro and Pride Theme

08:02 Type Nine Easygoing Identity

13:58 Type Eight Strength Armor

21:03 Type Seven Fun Persona

23:27 Type Six Preparedness Pattern

26:24 Travel Light Mindset

27:26 Type Five Praise Trap

32:07 Type Four Unique Identity

36:00 Dog Cameo Break

36:35 Type Three Winning Drive

40:22 Type Two Helper Highs

46:04 Type One Perfection Praise

48:24 Wrap Up Puppy Life

50:10 Thanks And Follow

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Hosts Tannah and Holly open with parenting and everyday-life humor, then introduce their podcast Enneagram Adventure and clarify that the Enneagram measures core motivation, not behavior. They revisit two Enneagram constructs: subtypes (how you live your type) and tri-type (your highest alignment in the head, heart, and gut centers—“thinks like, feels like, acts like”). Tannah shares her experience as a social subtype 2 and addresses the misconception that “social” means extroverted, while Holly explains being a one-to-one subtype 5 (a countertype) and how one-to-one intensity can affect relationships and mistyping. They discuss self-preservation traits, including safety-seeking and “what-if” spirals, and note how subtype can create more relationship conflict than type. They close with tri-type examples (including spouses) and a story about helping Tannah’s son with reading, confidence, and possible ADHD/three energy.

00:00 Parenting Chaos Cold Open

00:49 Podcast Intro and Enneagram Basics

02:37 Subtypes Explained Social Two

07:20 One-to-One Countertype Five

10:48 Astrology Tangent and Stacking Types

14:04 Self-Preservation Subtype Overview

20:04 Safety Always Wins Coaching Rant

24:49 Manipulation and Energy Conservation

26:03 Reckless Table Purchase

28:34 Cart Abandonment Spiral

29:24 Returns and Regret

31:43 Tri Type Explained

34:17 Husband Tri Type Insights

35:47 Reading Struggles at Bedtime

37:50 Is He a Three

42:40 Pride and Self Efficacy

44:48 Fidgets and Focus

47:23 Wrap Up and Goodbye

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Holly and Tannah open with stories about stormy weather interrupting golf, a late-night post–dance recital celebration that threw off the kids’ sleep, and a quick introduction to their podcast, Enneagram Adventure. As IEQ9 certified coaches, they clarify that their Enneagram approach measures core motivation (not behavior) and caution against unreliable free assessments, noting recent questions from a 55-person session about spouses, kids, and cheaper tests. The episode focuses on Enneagram “lines”—stress/stretch and growth/release—using relationship and parenting examples: Holly (a 2) describes moving to 8 under stress and how she and her husband navigate communication; Tannah (a 5) reflects on her 8 mom and how family dynamics shaped her. They discuss other line pairings (5–7, 6–9, 7–1, 1–4, 2–4, 3–6, 3–9), invite listener stories, and close with a call to follow/share plus news they’re surprising their kids with a puppy.

00:00 Stormy Golf Banter

00:39 Late Night Family Chaos

01:32 Podcast Intro and Enneagram Basics

02:19 Assessment Disclaimers

05:15 Why Lines Matter

08:36 Stress and Release Explained

10:18 Two to Eight Marriage Story

19:01 Eight to Five Parent Dynamic

22:45 Five to Seven Opposites

24:15 Six to Nine Examples

25:19 Recital Weekend Nine Vibes

27:26 Nine Parenting a Four

28:52 Why Nines See All Sides

30:32 Nine Creates a Nine

31:57 Seven and One Lines

33:06 One to Four Stress

34:47 Raising Kids With Feelings

39:46 Four and Two Dynamics

43:52 Three With Six and Nine

46:38 Nine Loves Three Energy

48:47 Wrap Up and Puppy Tease

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