Cheers to Death, Destruction, and the Gifts Hiding in Our Shady Shadow Shit.

Episode 03 was recorded here in L.A. during what I call Dead Dad Week — Father’s Day, my dad’s birthday, and the anniversary of his death all rolled into one.

I talk about what it means to feel my dad visit — in a real-ass, unmasked, sixth-sense kind of way (which, by the way, is a sense I believe we all have, if we nourish it).

I don’t unpack all the ways that’s shown up or shaped me in this episode — I didn’t have the bandwidth to open that particular Pandora’s box — but I name it. More on that to come.

I do go into why I think death, aging, loss, failure, and all our dark, shady shadow shit might actually be gifts in disguise. I mention Jack Halberstam and his radical POV on failure, and I promise a quote and more to come on him and that. Here is said quote:

“Under certain circumstances failing, losing, forgetting, unmaking, undoing, unbecoming, not knowing, may in fact offer more creative, more cooperative, more surprising ways of being in the world.”

Most importantly, the reminder that we are enough right now — even when we’re tits-deep in the mess and chaos. Especially then.

All the episodes are always for mature audiences only. Cussing and taboo topics galore. Trigger warning.

Again, I’m not a therapist. This isn’t Somatics 101 or a self-help podcast. It’s personal, imperfect, and not prescriptive. Take what works. Leave the rest.

PS: Next week we're going to get into not knowing and how it relates to the erotic as a place of power—some deep Audre Lorde–inspired shit, you know?

I mean, I think that’s what Episode 04 will probably explore… how joy, fun, play, craft, art, and pleasure all explode + multiply when presence and not knowing collide in creative and sexy spaces.

Idk. We’ll see what comes through. Zero promises made. I know, I’m a tease. Not sorry.