Traversing the beauty and horror of this world with eyes and hearts wide open feels hard but also holy to me. I’m grateful for friends like you who are in it with me.

This between-seasons episode is a reading of the essay I wrote last week about what’s happening in America right now, and why none of it is new. We all know tone and delivery change how we receive information, and because this feels so important, I wanted to share it here as well.

Thank you for listening.

xSylvia

Note: This analysis draws on decades of scholarship, resistance movements, and lived experience that I’ve synthesized. If you’ve been following here, you know I regularly name queer and BIPOC thinkers and organizers I’m indebted to. The lineage here is long. I hope you’re reading their books. And if you’re not, let this be an invitation.

If you prefer reading (and haven’t yet), the essay is below. It also includes recommended episodes if you want to go deeper. https://substack.com/@wedontknowwithsylvia/p-184172166

A return to presence, paradox, and the only thing that matters: now.

I believe that our presence is the most precious present we can give to ourselves, those we love, and the world. After a season of critique, alchemy, exploration, art, enchantment, politics, failure, magic, and power, this episode collapses everything back into the most inconvenient truth of all: all we have is now.

Presence and bearing witness to what “is” over and over again is what I endlessly return to as my work. Not presence as a productivity hack or a spiritual bypass, but presence as the only place where suffering loosens and agency returns.

This episode is not about fixing the world or escaping it, but about learning how to stay present inside it, feel what’s true without bypassing, and let action arise from stillness instead of fear.

I hope you know by now that I’m never trying to offer concrete answers. I’m trying to help us dissolve the need for them.

Thank you for joining me for another season of this wild ride. I look forward to reconnecting with you in 2026 and for whatever Season 3 has to offer us.

Until then, I hope you stay ungovernable, present, and fiercely tender.

Love,

Your friend of shadow and shine (as my buddy Matthew calls me.)

Note:
This episode speaks about presence, but not as a cure-all. Trauma and systemic harm are real, and many forms of suffering cannot be resolved through awareness alone. This work is not a substitute for professional support; therapy, medical care, sobriety, and other forms of skilled help are often essential. Take what’s useful, leave the rest, get professional support when needed, and please trust the timing of your own unfolding.

Mentioned in Episode:

• Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

• Ram Dass, Be Here Now

  
  

  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” ― Eckhart Tolle

In this episode (which doesn't have a single edit), I finally sit down with my dearest friend, and a huge inspiration to me—Professor Dr. David Tripp. Together we rest in his nest in East LA and think out loud together, moving slowly and sideways through things like (but not limited to) philosophy, queer theory, feminist killjoys, the void, hope, power dynamics, authority figures, the human chorus, and our lived experiences. Trying to give this a proper synopsis feels impossible so I’m going to keep this brief and simply encourage you to listen. And please do message me and share your thoughts if you feel inspired.

Huge thanks again to my dude Dr. David Tripp. I cherish you.

xSylvia

Content Warning

This episode includes swearing and unsanitized conversations about power, queerness, failure, and the emotional costs of optimism under capitalism. We touch on themes of disillusionment, grief, domestication, and the unraveling of inherited life scripts, which may feel activating for listeners navigating identity, belonging, or burnout. Please listen with care and leave what doesn’t serve you.

Some of the books + thinkers referenced in the episode: (my sincere apologies if I’m missing someone)

Jack Halberstam

The Queer Art of Failure (2011), Duke University PressReframes failure as a queer strategy that resists capitalist ideas of success, productivity, and linear progress.

Jack Halberstam

In a Queer Time and Place (2005), New York University PressIntroduces queer temporality as a disruption of normative timelines around adulthood, reproduction, and achievement.

Lauren Berlant

Cruel Optimism (2011), Duke University PressNames the way we stay attached to hopes and fantasies that once promised survival but now block our flourishing.

Sara Ahmed

Willful Subjects (2014), Duke University PressExplores how refusal and noncompliance are framed as problems when they interrupt social norms and power.

Sara Ahmed

Living a Feminist Life (2017), Duke University PressIntroduces the Feminist Killjoy and examines how happiness and positivity function as tools of social control.

James C. Scott

Seeing Like a State (1998), Yale University PressReferenced in relation to legibility, domestication, and the dangers of systems that demand simplification and compliance.

Michel Foucault

Selected writings

Referenced in relation to how power operates through normalization, self-surveillance, and internalized control rather than overt force.

Krishnamurti said it and I f*cking agree:

"It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

In episode 10 we get into Charli xcx, Jack Halberstam’s The Queer Art of Failure, and the false binary between “high” and “low” art, theory, and intelligence. I read and briefly unpack parts of Halberstam’s introduction on low theory (yes, SpongeBob shows up) and explore how failure, under certain conditions, can function as a portal rather than a deficit. A way out of the punishing, heteronormative, capitalist script of success that tells us who to be, what to want, and how a life is supposed to look.

We peep into toxic positivity, the myth of personal responsibility, and why the desire to be taken seriously so often turns into obedience. This is not a romanticization of struggle, and it is not a denial of structural conditions. Context matters. Power, privilege, race, class, gender, and access matter. And still, there is something radical about refusing domestication, questioning the metrics you inherited, and letting yourself imagine and inhabit alternative ways of being that feel more alive, more honest, and more yours.

This is a teaser episode ahead of next week’s conversation with Dr. David Tripp, where we’ll go deeper into failure, refusal, and postmodern ways of knowing and unknowing— or really whatever the fuck naturally comes up when we meet.

Stay ungovernable and incorruptible. And of course tender when possible.

xSylvia

Content Warning:

Per usual I cuss a lot. Nothing graphic, but this episode engages with themes of failure, success, capitalism, heteronormativity, toxic positivity, and systems of power. It may feel activating for listeners reflecting on their own relationship to achievement, worth, or cultural conditioning. Please listen with care. Take what lands and leave the rest.

References and Touchstones

• Charli XCX, Substack writings, including reflections on high and low culture from her essay “The Death of Cool”

• Jack Halberstam, The Queer Art of Failure (Introduction pages 1-6)

• SpongeBob SquarePants (as cited in Halberstam’s introduction on low theory)

• Little Miss Sunshine (2006), dir. Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, written by Michael Arndt

• Barbara Ehrenreich, Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America

• J. Krishnamurti: “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

Quote from Charlie xcx essay I mention in the episode:

“My fascination with the combination of high and low has always been a big driver within my work. People who are interested in things deemed as high brow or high art or left of centre seem to feel that undercutting art with something low brow or mass produced degrades the work and people who are more interested in things deemed as low art or popular or utilizing a directness in language seem to find the acknowledgement of theory or history as pretentious. I enjoy the in-between space that this creates. There’s definitely something antagonistic about it and whilst I like that my work can sometimes lead to these sorts of conversations and yes, sometimes shock tactics are funny to me and bring me joy, the integrity of the initial work always has to come first for me to be truly interested in the work itself. If creating something does not come from a truthful and meaningful place within the artist, if it doesn’t in ways wear it’s heart on it’s sleeve, then in my opinion the work is totally fucking DOA.”

Believing in magic is not naïve but a refusal to bow to the machine.

In episode 9, I share some Santa stories and make the case that enchantment is both a survival strategy and a spiritual inheritance. Magic is what happens when we refuse to collapse into the grid and instead relate to the world as if it’s alive, responsive, and in conversation with us. Like kids naturally do with openness, curiosity, wonderment, and imagination. The loss of enchantment is not natural; it’s engineered, and recovering can be a form of decolonial re-membering while repairing our hearts and minds.

“Santa” is this season’s safe word and a reminder when you hear it and see it to believe in miracles and magic despite being told it’s not realistic, logical, pragmatic, or responsible. Fuck that. That conditioning is a killjoy. Letting magic back in is life giving and an act of rebellion, not to mention a straight up refusal to be indoctrinated by the grid.

Simply put: Embracing the magic is a gateway drug to more aliveness and presence; and who doesn’t want to feel more alive?

Exactly.

Content Warning:

Nothing graphic, but the themes tread into myth-breaking and systems analysis that may feel activating for listeners exploring their own childhood stories or spiritual lineage. It may kick up some grief. It sure did for me. Please be gentle. And as always, take what lands and leave the rest.

With love,

Sylvia

An icon, example, and exploration of art as resistance.

From burnout to the nourishment of Jean-Michel Basquiat, episode 8 is a dip into art as resistance. GOD HOW I’M GRATEFUL FOR ART AND ARTISTS.

I’m back in Los Angeles for a hot minute, and beginning to come back online thanks to some solo time, and a watching of The Radiant Child doc by director Tamra Davis about the brilliant and beautiful Basquiat.

Thank the fucking cosmos for art and the way it gives me life and helps me make meaning during these wild times. But yeah, I basically unpack how radical art breaks the grid and gives us a blueprint for presence, resistance, and the relational revolution I believe is upon us.

Per usual, take what works and leave the rest.

xSylvia

SUGGESTION:

Especially during this black Friday bullshit, please consider supporting an uncompromised artist this week. Buy a piece, tip a creator, subscribe to a substack, or donate to a mutual aid arts collective in your city.

REFERENCES:

• Film: The Radiant Child, Tamra Davis (Basquiat documentary)

• Writers and thinkers referenced in the episode: Jean-Michel Basquiat, Michel Foucault, Bell Hooks, Rainer Maria Rilke, Thoreau, Emerson

• Suggested reads: Basquiat interviews and catalogues, Bell Hooks essays on art and identity, Foucault on power and institutions

The power (and magic) of letting difficulty work on us instead of sprinting to fix, numb, name, or outrun it.

In this episode, I read from Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet and let his words drag us straight into the deep end of sadness, solitude, and the unknown— but not in a depressing way I swear. I riff (and basically just agree with him) on the power (and magic) of letting difficulty work on us instead of sprinting to fix, numb, name, or outrun it.

xSylvia

References

• Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

• Rabia (line referenced: “I was born when all I once feared I could love”)

Content Warning

The themes go deep per usual so take care of yourself however you need.

A quick dip into corruption, karma, consciousness, and sharing power.

In this episode, I speak from inside some burnout and outrage about political rot, spiritual amnesia, astrology, past lives, and the predator class that thrives on our distraction and brainwashing. I read an unedited piece I wrote before the last election, a mix of satire and rage, then reflect on what it means to keep loving, listening, and believing in balance when everything feels fucked up.For me, the central message is that even in decay, grace persists, and when power consolidates, consciousness must keep diversifying. We fight systems not only through activism, but through inner coherence and refusing to replicate domination in ourselves, our art, or our relationships.

As always, take what lands and leave the rest.

PS: if you fancy, go check out some of my favorite people who actually know the science of astrology and speak to it far better than I.

Dr. Mindy Nettifee: https://open.substack.com/pub/drmindynettifee?r=9og8b&utm_medium=ios

Embodied Astrology:  https://open.spotify.com/show/0L0j6X6cf3DO1Bs0D0K4Ch?si=afyU1fJ_TvC_Om_r7Vpxmw

Intuitive Astrology: https://open.spotify.com/show/2hrdS4LO2SriBtWsLYycL6?si=XuaPa6qdTf6PL-rLqiv55Q

Quiet Mind Astrology: https://open.spotify.com/show/1sx3j1Q2AcUVGShxVlEMOB?si=fTp2EWZ8QFK2gED481PDVQ

Trigger Warning: This episode includes strong language, political critique, references to systemic violence, exploitation, and corruption. Dip out if you need to.

Challenging the stories we tell ourselves and holding it all gently. In this episode, I unravel some of the stories I’ve told myself to feel safe—the myths of being “the good one,” “the honest one.” I talk about being present to my own contradictions, and the power that comes from holding all that with a fuck ton of gentleness. Take what lands and leave the rest.

xSylvia

DISCLAIMERS

I swear. A lot. I’m not a therapist, simply a feral learner/creative person. For adult audiences.

NOTES

My pal Jason who coined “consciously naked” and is also an insanely talented musician and brilliant human known as Raize. Soundcloud HERE and along with a MUSIC VIDEO I cut for him a few years back. I don’t have a chapter breakdown for you this week, because I don’t have time, but if you go to youtube or Spotify they generate them. Also, youtube has captions.

See what I did there :) Day of the Dead inspired (obviously.) Also, this one has video if you fancy that kind-of-thing.

Episode 4 is an underworld field trip with rattlesnakes, childhood nightmares, climate dread, and embracing shady, shadowy gifts in disguise — plus how dreamwork can prep the nervous system to meet loss. Mostly this is about how I’ve learned to relate to death not as an ending, but as a doorway. It’s also a reminder that we don’t get through what’s coming (politically, ecologically, relationally) without grief literacy, tenderness, and some humor, among other necessary tools.

This is the Substack essay “Rattle Snake or King Snake? You tell me.” I wrote over the summer and shared within episode.

As always, take what lands and leave the rest.

xSylvia

Content warning
Adult language and themes. Mentions of death, grief, parental mortality, climate collapse, U.S. politics and government harm (SNAP), spirituality/mysticism, Palestine, policing/state violence, trauma, and sex/relationships. Not advice or therapy. Take care of your nervous system and skip as needed.