In their premiere episode, Doug sings the praises of an environmentally-friendly feminine hygiene product and ponders the aerodynamics and moral turpitude of passengers on a hypothetical euthanasia coaster. Alice tosses a salad and debates what size knife is best for big kids at the pool.

Other discussion topics may include:

- A desire to wax, poetic and otherwise

- The birth of a jingle - which is way less messy than human birth

- Ebenezer Scrooge and other questionable impressions

- The nutritional value and potential hazard of egg shells

- The answer to the question you're all wondering: "Which of them pees in the shower?"