Going Terribly

Doug is back! And he brought most of his voice with him!

But, most importantly, Alice just had her first mammogram. And, number two* in importance, today is World Toilet Day. So enjoy plenty of scatological goodness.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Can you overdose on Theraflu?

- Better band name: The Horizontal Shelf or A Ketchup Bidet?

- A heckuva Donald Duck pooping impression

- Plungers hanging from the ceiling

- An entire lasagna

*heh

Doug has fallen ill, but Going Terribly wasn't about to miss a week. So, for the first time ever, there's a guest host! Naem Madi is on board to help out while offering his own twist of fun with the musical "Naem That Tune." Meanwhile, Alice offers insights on Hollywood celebrity family feuds (not of the Steve Harvey variety) and Hemingway/Bible/colon connections.

But Doug does offer a couple of notes from the grave. Er, sidelines. So you won't be completely free of him.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Who is Bella Thorne to you?

- The downside to snakeskin soap

- Have you forgotten about Dre?

- Would you rather win one fewer Oscar than your sister or just go ahead and die?

- Ryan Gosling wasn't available

This Sunday is Alice's birthday! With Alice hitting the big 4-0, Doug digs up a bunch of stuff from Alice's birth year that might make her and Steve Guttenberg feel a little old. Like Who's the Boss and Depends. Doug presents a couple of games and even tries his hand at Alice's most popular segment.

Other discussion topics may include:

- The disappointment that spinal taps aren't as serious or dangerous as they sound

- Purse Suer vs. Purse Sewer - which is the worse pun?

- The 1984 hit Seinfeld movie

- It Takes Two: Electric Boogaloo

- Lots and lots of quantum stuff. Or not. Better grab a pocket calculator just in case.

Happy Halloween!

Alice and Doug invite Kevin Roach to the show for his annual Halloween episode. This year they debate which horror movie villains they'd bed (spoiler: The Predator has some sexy abs) and recite a brand new scary story. They also discuss the merits of a travel bidet (or two!) and wonder if Pat Morita could have convincingly played a small town sheriff.

Other discussion topics may include:

- The dark side of Dr. Seuss

- Auntie Lee's Meat Pies

- When on a vibrating boat, are you more likely to poop yourself, orgasm, or gently fall asleep?

- That time Hitler unwittingly left some DNA in a sausage mixer

- Honestly, more routine cannibalism talk than should be comfortable

This week Alice leaves her scheduled colonoscopy up to a Facebook vote while Doug scours app stores for strange Fitbit alternatives. This is adulting in 2024.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Why isn't there a play or musical based on the 1987 cinematic classic Mannequin?

- Maybe a little too much Enrique

- Are you wealthy enough to afford cameras in your medication?

- All the things about Ernest Hemingway that rose...and didn't.

- It's Mrs. Shen's birthday!!!

Alice has a colonoscopy coming up. Somehow this isn't the first topic she and Doug discuss. But once they get on her butt, boy, does it prove difficult to get off.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Completely unrelated Tummy Trouble

- Turkey Testicle Festical

- Would you trust a biology teacher/realtor to perform routine surgeries in your home?

- Attempting to hold friends hostage using really comfortable furniture

- Steroids might get a bad rep, but goodness, do they make your face skin lovely.

Could you imagine if today were Julia Roberts's birthday?! It's not, but could you just IMAGINE?!?!

Elsewhere in this week's episode, Doug and Alice just got back from St. Louis (and TO the future!), and now they're ready to find some fowl balls or other unusual body parts to devour at the West Side Nut (heh) Club Fall Festival.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Keep ketchup off your hot dogs

- What do you do once you've tried every flavor of every brand of sparkling water? Is it just over now?

- Near universal praise for Costco...except for a troubling recent move in their chicken packaging

- Jame Doody Dench

- Revisiting the time certain adult toys may have been lost in a matter of national security

September's over, so wake up and join Doug and Alice as they consider alternate Barry Manilow fandom names, question their new home's bathroom setup, and, most importantly, celebrate a special 100th birthday. Plus why does the international market have so many cooler RC products than we do?

Other discussion topics may include:

- A nostalgic start to a life long love affair with cheese curds

- Dropping your drawers in a grocery store

- Supper bullying

- The Sound of Music vs. West Side Story - How's your classic movie trivia?

- Relentlessly trying to get noticed by well endowed people

Doug and Alice have been doing a lot of burying of ledes lately, and it's time for all the news to finally come out. Major life changes have occurred. Are they shrouded in murder or in tradition? There's only one way to find out.*

Other discussion topics may include:

- Life is a lot more bearable when you picture all your finances in board game money

- A celebration of Eckerty, Indiana, if it does indeed exist

- How to rid your own cabbage patch of those darn babies

- Pleasantville, Stepford, or Get Out - what's your ideal neighborhood?

*Okay, we suppose a second way could be to watch for arrest reports, but you're slightly more likely to get some bathroom talk here.

Alice teaches us about the differences between Chinese language and symbols, as well as differences in sign languages between countries, including accents! Meanwhile, Doug makes a joke about Mario's penis.

Other discussion topics may include:

- A literally childish alien obsession

- Is there anyone who uses a letter as a first name who isn't successful?

- A computer literally tries to take over the episode (it's happening)

- How smarmy are you allowed to be when narrating a corny joke book?

- Happy birthday to the U.S. Constitution...for better or worse.