Alice is back from a week away in Cincinnati, and she and Doug are determined to get this episode right. It may take them a few tries, but they’re going to get it, so please hang with them.

Alice is bound to be a bit tired since she just finished scoring 1,600 essays. And Doug’s been very busy being not nearly as educated or well read. But he did just learn how to “exasturbate,” so that’s something. For better or worse.

Other discussion topics must include:

- Getting kicked in the stock for not STing the FU

- Great anime, such as King of the Hill

- Matt Damon's potato farm

- The incredible fun of "Classic Works" BINGO"

- Fine dining at GD Poon's

It's an unplanned tribute to New Orleans!

The history, the culture, the sites! - You won't find any mention of any of that here.

Instead Alice and Doug chat about Mardi Gras penises, drunk actors, and librarians who...love...books.

It's really just like any other episode, only with a decided Nawlins flavor.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Why is cartography still a discipline?

- Enrique Iglesias's spouse would never jump in front of a train

- Roommates that only one person can fit into

- Music that's not as romantic as you think

- Is it still okay to fantasize about tennis players?

Alice, Doug, Eureka, and Hoover have returned from a week-long trip to visit Mrs. Shen. They had lots of meals - some long, some plentiful, and some of just desserts. So that part was a lot like home.

They also visited some fun new museums, a waterfall, and saw…a vase of corn dogs?

It was a real winner, and you can hear all about it in this episode.

Though Doug didn’t get to see any dinosaurs.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Getting stuffed by one's cousin

- The Proper Burger

- Marks of a great seafood buffet, such as pudding

- Supposed national "malls" that aren't malls at all

- A pancake that will blow your nuts off

Yesterday was National Game Show Day, so today Doug and Alice celebrate the only way they know - by playing a super dumb game worth absolutely zero prizes. But along the way you might just learn something about sundials, sister cities, and midwifery. 

But that’s Alice’s part. Doug is really stuck on the more immature game stuff like toilet buttons and cow turd cakes. Alex Trebek and Bob Barker are rolling over in their graves.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Diplomatic relationships between Ohio and Spain

- A Beaver-run childcare facility

- Physical challenges between man and beast

- A shadow owes you because you give it life

- Touching butts for the greater good

This week’s episode is all about debate. How will Alice and Doug’s relationship hold up after some devastating arguments? And how will the devastating arguments hold up when it turns out they’re pretty darn silly to argue about? 

Also, in a real “What are we, really?” moment, Google’s AI summary explains Going Terribly to Going Terribly. It’s pretty wild.

For real, though. Is cereal a soup? The battle lines are drawn.

Other discussion topics may include:

- The longest NSYNC title

- Ice cream cake is better when it has cake in it

- Could God have been a shopping addict?

- Absurd left turns

- Would you like to sit on a comfy heated toilet forever?

The past two weekends Doug and Alice made a couple of fun trips out of town for very different theatrical experiences. But now they're back and ready to tell you all about the splash zones and crunchy gushers.

Plus, ever wondered what Alice thinks of the Britney Spears classic film "Crossroads?" Now's your chance to find out.

Other Discussion Topics May Include:

- Does God live in the ocean?

- Pork tiramisu

- Boise is heated by its own farts

- Convincing gibberish

- Idaho? Or Youdaho?

This week Alice and Doug welcome Nick “Atlantic City” Gonzalez back to the show for games and shenanigans.

Nick lets us all in on an embarrassing and painful childhood story involving a very sensitive area. He’s also subjected to some troubling thoughts about pies, beach flatulence, and…giraffe snakes?

And his only reward? Some three-day old doughnuts.

It truly is Going Terribly.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Puberty reversal

- Do polar bears taste like Coca-Cola?

- How to make Harriet Tubman into a ball joke

- What happens when you tickle Elmo too hard?

- Pretty girls and their universal GI issues

Alice and Doug have a lot of knowledge to impart, and most of it is shocking, even to them! The English language is super unpredictable. Have we been using words wrong? Or are the dictionaries wrong? There's plenty to tackle here. Literally.

Also, who would play Doug and Alice in Going Terribly: The Movie?

Other discussion topics may include:

- Jimmy Stewart was really good in Donnie Darko

- Words that don't mean what they're supposed to mean

- Absurd faces

- Bunnies are squirrels somehow. No joke.

- Chinese Taiwanese American Girl Dolls

Alice has officially entered her Soft Girl Era. It's all cross stitching all the time now.

But luckily she and Doug still had enough time to record this episode full of school bus stories and semi-recent semi-decent news!

Also, there's a really cool Rosetta Stone story. Spoiler: Alice is kinda famous!

Other discussion topics may include:

- Smart underwear

- How to still be illin' even when you're ill

- Productivity kinks

- Big Shaft Jerky

- Can you get sick from eating farts?

This week Alice and Doug celebrate the city of Pensecola, kinda.

But what they really do is get nostalgic about kindergarten (and even preschool!). There’s also some mind-bending talk about dreams and a potential origin story for Doug’s mental health issues.

And did you know Rome wasn’t *actually* founded by battling brothers who were raised by a wild animal? History, man.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Songs that encourage young children to steal

- Alfonso Ribeiro vs. Steve Harvey in a dance battle

- What if you forget your cheeseburger money?

- When life wants you to be Thomas Jefferson but you’re feeling more Snoopy

- Carbonated menses