Prayer

Almighty God, Lord of Glory, O Light of Heaven, please chase away the shadows of my heart and open my eyes to your truth. I am so quick to wander, so prone to settle for shallow thoughts—teach me to think your thoughts after you. Let your Word burn with clarity in my mind and settle with weight in my soul. Make me hungry for what is good, wise, and eternal; keep me from being dulled by lesser things. Give me illumination not only to understand, but to walk in your ways with joy. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Reading

Genesis 2:18-25.

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19. Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”

Meditation

God designed the Woman to provide companionship to the man. This is a universal and enduring pattern of creation. Verse 18 makes this abundantly clear:“It is not good for man to be alone.” Men need companionship, and specifically they need female companionship in marriage. Communities matter, and the Lord designed women to be builders of communities. We need mothers, sisters, cousins, friends, elders, aunties, uncles. If you are a woman of God, this is a big part of your purpose: to provide community. Women are community builders. The wives of the patriarchs in Genesis were said to be “building their houses.” That’s a big job, building houses and communities. That’s a significant aspect of God’s purpose for women. The world doesn’t honour this design. In fact, they despise it. But we should know better—this is huge! Without women, we wouldn’t have communities.

Be ye doers of the word….

There are a host of practical applications that flow out of these insights. First: don’t live in isolation. This applies to both men and women. Don’t be an island. Don’t be a distant person. It’s not good for you, and you’re also depriving others of your companionship. None of us were made to live in self-sufficiency. We need each other. That’s not easy in modern society, which is potently individualistic. We don’t know our neighbours, and the sharp edge of loneliness is dulled by the second-hand connection of technology. But technology, useful as it can be, is no substitute for actual relationships. Whether you’re married or single, it’s important to offer your gifts in service of others. To actively seek to build real relationships. It is not good for us to be alone.

Secondly, men need intimacy. This is the positive side of everything we’ve just been saying. Man needs relationship. He needs closeness. He needs company. Wives have a special role to play here. If you’re a wife reading these words, here is a “prophetic” word for you: God has called you to meet this need in your husband. He has given you that role. No one else can fulfill it. Your identity is image of God, but your job description is helpmeet. One preacher said, “there is no more effective way to destroy a man than to deprive him of companionship.” That is profoundly true. Your husband might be a big strong man, but it is well within your power to make or break him, even if you are both short and slight.

And men, this responsibility falls on us too. In a sense, even more so. As heads of our homes, God will hold us accountable for everything that happens under our roofs. We are responsible to cultivate companionship with our wives. God gave them to us for this purpose, and we must not work against that by using them, neglecting them, or taking them for granted. If we do, we will crush them. Since sin entered the world, that is exactly our inclination. We must live with them in an understanding way (1 Peter 3:7). That means we will need to repent regularly. And constantly seek help in prayer. Husbands, we must cultivate companionship with our wives.

And again, doesn’t this show all of us our need for Christ? It’s so easy to be self-serving in marriage. That’s a word from the wisdom of God’s word for the single as well. If you get married, prepare for an almighty battle with selfishness. But selfishness is not God’s design. We must repent of it, confess it, and seek the Lord’s help to honour him in our relationships.

Now I want to speak directly to the single men for a moment. Single men: look for a woman who answers your need for companionship. When looking for a wife, look for someone you enjoy talking to. Someone with whom you can enjoy real fellowship in Christ. Don’t make physical beauty your number one priority (even though it has a lot of default pulling power in your mind). As one preacher said: “Cuteness on your arm will not make up for emptiness in your home.” That’s a word especially for young men, because you will be inclined to value outward appearance above all else. While that matters, it must not blind you to what’s most important. Look for a woman who loves Christ. A woman who can be your friend and walk beside you in companionship.

And to single women—it’s the same thing. If you’re considering a relationship with a man, think carefully about how suitable you are together. Think about companionship. Think about whether this is a relationship where friendship and fellowship in Christ can flourish.

And let me remind us all about the bigger Christological picture. As we think about companionship and intimacy in marriage, what it really points to is companionship and intimacy with Christ. And that applies to all of us, whether we are married or unmarried. Far more important than companionship in marriage is daily companionship with Christ. We must walk closely with him. We must be on intimate terms with him. Does that describe your life? Does it describe mine? Marriage will pass away. But the deeper reality of our union with Christ will only grow larger and brighter as time goes by. Seek above all things companionship and intimacy with Christ. And all of us, married and single, will flourish and grow, so long as we are near to him. SDG.

Prayer of Confession & Consecration

O Lord, I confess my tendency to retreat into myself, to live as an island when you made me for communion. Forgive me for choosing convenience over connection, and for withholding the companionship others may need from me. I repent of my selfishness in marriage and friendship, of the ways I have used people rather than served them. Please teach and help me to cultivate intimacy, not just with others, but with you above all. Please renew my desire to walk in understanding with those you’ve placed near me, and help me to honour your design for community.Consecrate my life again, that whether married or single, I would seek deeper fellowship with Christ, and offer my presence as a gift to others. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

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