Married and Connected

Ep 106: What Do Vows Really Mean? Breaking down To Have and To Hold


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In this powerful episode, we unpack the timeless marriage vow “to have and to hold”—words many couples say, but few fully understand.

What does it really mean to “have” and “hold” your spouse in today’s world of constant distraction, emotional distance, and surface-level connection?
How are modern habits and emotional unavailability breaking down the foundations of this promise?
And more importantly—what can we do to reclaim this vow and live it out with intention and love?

Whether you’re newly married, facing disconnection, or just want to strengthen your relationship, this episode offers practical tools, emotional insight, and real-world examples to deepen intimacy and rebuild trust.

🔍 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • The original intent and meaning behind “to have and to hold”

  • How digital distraction, emotional labor imbalance, and unresolved resentment erode connection

  • What emotional availability actually looks like in day-to-day marriage

  • Signs you may be emotionally checked out—or carrying too much of the emotional weight

  • Actionable strategies to reconnect, reattach, and honor your vows again

  • Why this vow matters more now than ever before

  • Research on emotional availability and attachment in long-term relationships

  • Studies on distraction and how it negatively impacts communication, memory, and relational satisfaction

  • Gottman Institute findings on what builds—or breaks—emotional safety in marriage

  • Questions to ask your spouse to reestablish emotional intimacy

  • How to shift from “roommates” to connected partners again

  • One small daily habit that builds long-term safety and trust

  • Why emotional rest is just as important as physical rest

If you’re ready to stop going through the motions and start rebuilding a deeply connected, emotionally safe marriage—I have one 1:1 coaching spot available before October. Email [email protected] for more information.

Work With Me:Let’s work together to reclaim the vows you promised—and build a marriage that thrives.

  • Website: www.recognizingpotential.com

  • Instagram: www.instagram.com/@married.and.connected

  • Newsletter Signup: http://eepurl.com/gsm_9P

  • Coaching Inquiry: [email protected]


Has this episode helped you?
Please subscribe, leave a review, or share this episode with someone who needs a little reminder of what “to have and to hold” really means.

** Disclaimer: The audio on this isn't the standard for what I like to publish. I got a new microphone and I'm still learning the ins and outs of that. Thank you for your patience as I navigate the learning curve.**

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Married and ConnectedBy Kameran Al-Areqi

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