Women, Men & Relationships

Ep. 117: Dethroning the Therapist


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Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times!

However, marriage—even for marriage experts—is never easy. Just like any other couple, Harville and Helen experienced a power struggle where they attempted to change, coerce, and threaten each other to be "more like me." A critical comment would degenerate into loud arguments. Blaming each other was a common focus of conversation.

After a decade of marriage, they found themselves teetering on the brink of divorce. As Harville and Helen routinely trained other therapists how to save marriages, they started to lose hope that their own relationship would survive. Facing the inevitable, they decided to give one last try and commit to do everything possible to salvage their relationship.

Ironically, their own teaching made the biggest difference. Harville and Helen experienced the ultimate benefit of "practicing what you preach" to overcome negativity and learn to lovingly communicate with each other. They reconnected through the exercises they use to coach thousands of other couples, restored their marriage, and enjoy a true partnership that has lasted over 30 years. Their story of hope and seasoned history of helping others uniquely qualifies Harville and Helen as true relationship experts.

Harville and Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy to promote the transformation of couples and families by a creating relational culture that support universal equality. In addition, they've developed resources that help couples, families, and educators strengthen their relationship knowledge and skills. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained over 2,000 therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world.

JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcast shows including Fit 2 Love and Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, an Amazon best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life, and author of Knack Absolute Abs: Routines for a Fit and Firm Core. She was named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine. JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, Elegant Bride, and Women's Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox 11, the CW and KTLA. Her newest book, The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame debuted at #2 on the Amazon Best Seller List for Women's Health – get your free copy at jjflizanes.com/book

Doug Sandler is an entrepreneur and industry leader. His book, Nice Guys Finish First is a #1 ranked Amazon Best Seller. As a podcast host of The Nice Guys, Doug has interviewed, Gary Vaynerchuk, Arianna Huffington and dozens of celebs. Doug is a nationally recognized speaker, writer, and founder of TurnKey Podcast Company, providing podcast production, editing and launch services. His Nice Guys podcast, with over 800 episodes has been downloaded 2.5 million times, in more than 175 countries.

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Women, Men & RelationshipsBy JJ Flizanes Conscious Relationships and Self Love Strategist

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