All of us have some level of innate desire for autonomy and equality. But for some, the need for autonomy and equality tangles with Survival Brain in ways that have major impacts on their well-being, even overriding basic survival needs like food, sleep, hygiene, or physical safety.

Though it can sometimes look that way from the outside, PDA (Persistent Drive for Autonomy or Pathological Demand Avoidance) is not just a knee-jerk, “You can’t tell me what to do!” PDA causes outsized reactions to perceived threats–threats which can be invisible or confusing to parents, educators, and therapists.    

Today’s guest, PDA expert Casey Ehrlich, defines PDA as a nervous system disability that requires a holistic approach that goes beyond in-the-moment behavioral intervention. In our conversation, she movingly recounts how her personal experience raising children with PDA caused her to turn her research background to understanding what PDA is and developing and validating an approach to managing this challenging disorder. And we talk about PDA’s impacts on kids and families, what makes it so mind-bending for outsiders, and how sometimes disrupting and confronting systems can be a benefit of having a PDA brain.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• Why Casey defines PDA as a neurotype separate from other kinds of demand avoidance seen with autism, executive dysfunction, or anxiety
• Five common elements of PDA that can help parents identify and differentiate it from other concerns
• How PDA-ers’ orientation toward autonomy, equality, and justice can become a source of personal and community strength
• How a drive for autonomy can show up with other neurotypes, and when it crosses into PDA
• Casey’s experience navigating two very different presentations of PDA and burnout with her two kids
• Tools for parents to observe patterns and collect data, (mostly) keep their cool, leave space for their own feelings, and protect their boundaries and sense of self

Learn more about Casey Ehrlich, PhD:

• At Peace Parents
• Instagram: @atpeaceparents
• Facebook: @atpeaceparents
• YouTube: @atpeaceparents 
• At Peace Parents Podcast

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?

Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:

• Website
• Instagram @clearconnectionpsychology

Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:

• Instagram @dr.robert.galligan

Resources:

• PDA North America
• PDA Society
• Rabbi Shoshana
• Amanda Diekman | Low Demand Parenting
• What is DIRFloortime?