Everyone struggles sometimes when their kids have strong opinions or feelings and they need them to just do the thing already. And when frustrations are high, it can be easy to slip into the kind of old-school parenting a lot of us were raised with and that we might be trying not to replicate.

Our guest today, Kirk Martin, host of the Calm Parenting Podcast, knows those struggles intimately. In our conversation, he shares his journey with his son, Casey, and how he came to realize that he needed to throw out the old-school parenting playbook and change his whole way of thinking about autonomy, respect, and collaboration with his child.

We talk about why clinging to parental autonomy isn’t actually useful when you’re in a power struggle with your kid and what parents who might be at their wits’ end can do to shift those dynamics in a positive direction.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How Kirk’s own oppositional tendencies gave him insight into the feelings and fears underneath the power struggles
• Strategies for giving kids autonomy while maintaining boundaries and guardrails
• Why parents have to manage their feelings of embarrassment or shame when their kids don’t do things the “right” way
• Reframing disrespect and attitude as information that something’s up and an opportunity to connect
• Normalizing that things will go wrong and allowing yourself compassion 
• Why Kirk encourages parents, and especially dads, to problem-solve with their kids like they would with their coworkers 

Learn more about Kirk Martin:

• Celebrate Calm
• Calm Parenting Podcast
• Instagram: @calmparentingpodcast

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?

Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:

• Website
• Instagram @clearconnectionpsychology

Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:

• Instagram @dr.robert.galligan