Do you break out in hives at the thought of setting a boundary? You’re not alone—and this week’s episode of The Pursuit of Happywell is a must-listen. Scott and Kristen dive deep into the emotional minefield of boundary-setting and reframe it as an act of kindness, connection, and self-respect—not cruelty.

Building on last week’s episode on conflict resolution, this conversation explores:

• Why so many people fear setting boundaries
• How people-pleasing, identity, and fear of rejection keep us stuck
• The difference between reactive boundaries vs. compassionate clarity
• Real-life examples in marriage, parenting, work, and friendships
• How to communicate boundaries without controlling or withdrawing
• The pivotal role of self-boundaries in preventing burnout and building trust

With personal stories, powerful analogies (like dogs testing invisible fences), and practical takeaways, this episode is both soul-nourishing and eye-opening. If you're ready to stop abandoning yourself for the sake of “keeping the peace,” this one’s for you.

Key Takeaways:

• Boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re gates with keys you offer out of love and clarity.
• A healthy boundary is one that helps you stay your most whole, functional self.
• You can’t set boundaries with others if you constantly violate your own.
• Healthy people respect your boundaries; people who benefited from your lack of them will test them.
• Boundaries evolve with seasons—evaluate and adjust with intention, not guilt.

If this episode resonated with you, don’t keep it to yourself! Share it with a friend, leave a review, and hit that subscribe button. Have a boundary breakthrough? Comment on YouTube or tag @thehappywell on social media and tell us about it.

And take the free Stress Type Quiz to discover your go-to stress response and learn how to manage it better. sonderalife.com/podquiz

We also have an active community for listeners of The Pursuit of Happywell. Join our community on facebook: The Pursuit of Happywell Community or find the website at LiveHappywell.com

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Intro: Why boundaries feel so hard
• 02:00 – What a boundary really is (not a wall!)
• 05:30 – People-pleasing and fear of being unloved
• 08:30 – The identity crisis that comes with becoming a boundaried person
• 11:00 – Healthy vs. reactive boundaries
• 14:00 – How we sabotage our own boundaries
• 18:00 – Compassionate clarity: the new lens for setting limits
• 27:00 – Real-life scenarios: family, work, marriage, kids
• 45:00 – Boundaries with yourself: the game-changer
• 50:00 – Happywell Homework: Your boundary reset

Guest/Host Info:

Hosted by Kristen and Scott Boss, founders of The Happywell Podcast, this power duo brings both personal insight and practical wisdom to the table, blending emotional health, neuroscience, and relational wellness for a more grounded life.