By this point you must know that Art Sistory loves America, the greatest country in the world. We've got all our pals to thank for that: Tommy J, Benji Frank, Lin Manuel Miranda. But no one can forget the greatest hero of all time, George Washington! Mostly because we built a giant white penis for him in the middle of our capital. But did you know that penis is shrouded in secrets and mystery?! You will!

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