Hello listener. This is your wake-up call. Every day of your working life, you have stumbled around like a zombie, listening to the same true crime podcasts you've consumed for the past decade. Now YOU are the cause of your own existential ennui. 

Your aim in this game is to check out Doug and Alice's podcast. You have...a lot of time to do it in. There are carefully curated social media accounts for you to follow too. When there's this much laughter, poop jokes, and highbrow tangents on the airwaves, the only thing left to do is...lend us your ears. (Metaphorically, not like, literally chop them off and send them to us or something serial killery like that.)

There are ways to win this game hidden all around you. I mean, okay, episodes are "hidden" in plain sight on Apple, Spotify, Google, and pretty much every other podcast provider. If you do not listen to this episode by next week, previously downloaded episodes will back up in your queue, and it'll be harder to catch up, and that's worse than having to saw off your own foot, amirite? Let the game begin.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Atrocious eating habits of supposed adults

- Eye socket weight lifting... No, seriously.

- Popular Super Bowl party snacks for babies

- It's Groundhog Day and National Tater Tot Day. Recipe swap anyone?

- The Saw franchise has recently become very popular around the office, in case you couldn't tell.