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EP 21 : Looking on Different Perspective with Kyle Davies - Highlights
Hi, I am here with Kyle Davies, He specialize in helping individuals and teams cultivate innate wellness and flow. Essentially that means helping to improve the quality of internal experience and external 'performance'; cutting through the mental clutter that often slows us down, increasing energy levels and focus, and enhancing relationships with colleagues, clients, customers and family. here is the Highlights of the episode hope you enjoy. Listen to the full episode in your favorite podcast app.
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Episode Highlights
Kyle [00:05:03] But then crucially, it was we and this is where the work kind of stepped in, was that she developed those patterns of of blocking how she really felt. So we have to look at when symptoms are cropping up and then how does this relate to today? Tomorrow, the next day was what was going on at half past three on a Thursday afternoon. What was who was there? What was going on? What might have what might be emotions of being that the party was trying to kind of get through because they they weren't being found. So then so that, you know, that's that takes a period of time because it's it's uncovering and then it's. All right. Well, what do I do instead? If I if I've been like this for kind of 20, 30 years. And why how do we change that? But I do remember being on vacation with my family in Spain, I. Some, you know, in that summer and getting a text message from her saying that she just completed a local kind of park run, kind of a five K sort of fun run. She said, I will most of it, but she said I did some jogging. And she said just to think that, you know, when I came to see you first, I was looking to get a wheelchair because I was having increasing problems with walking. You could only walk kind of, you know, 10, 15 steps. So that that was that's a kind of a plus a great success. I think with the thing with that is you one of the difficulties, I think, with the work that I do is that is the cause and effect and not necessarily closely linked.
Ari [00:08:58] I always talk about things like medicine began with infrastructure, we created aqueducts and things to move waste away from neighborhoods in order for to keep people from getting sick because they were sleeping next to pig poo. You know, I mean, this is this is that the reason for infrastructure at the beginning was a medical system is like, OK, you're you're sleeping next to the next to the feces. You're you're getting sick. OK, let's move that away from where you're where you're sleeping and living. So aqueducts and infrastructure was created. And I have a theory that we have with all of our roads and air travel and noise and bombardment of radio waves and et cetera, that we have infrastructurally created a system that causes more stress and more illness rather than helping to alleviate. And the other part of that theory is that we made this shit up and we can do better. So why don't we start looking at how do we create a system that causes less stress and is more in harmony and balance with nature? So if you're if you're going to look at from a 30000 foot view and go, I'm looking down on the world, go on.
Ari [00:14:22] Yeah. You know. It is very deep. One of my my mentors is Buckminster Fuller. And his work is to me, pretty amazing. And one of the things that he is quoted and I'm going to paraphrase because it's too long of a quote, but it's basically the auspicious notion that we need to work to be a value. Needs to end when there is 10000 people that have the ability to create the technology that would support the rest of the world population to work to be a value.
Kyle [00:19:45] I think the first thing you said about growing things in your garden, you know, for me, that's nothing to do with potentially giving salmonella to your neighbor. It's all about. That's all about control, isn't it? Because if you're self-sufficient, we don't own you. So whilst that's a conspiracy kind of notion, I think we all kind of know that big business. Runs the world. Really? And again, that's the stuff. The second thing that goes into the second piece is if people are self-sufficient, you know, and there's those power structures are kind of brought down.
Ari [00:22:31] Yeah. You know, I have a feeling that we're at this crossroads and we can either choose. To go with the status quo or we could choose to go with the revolution. And it doesn't have to be a violent revolution, as we've been seeing with a lot of protests, it could be a peaceful revolution, but a revolution is what's needed. And, you know, this show is called Create a new tomorrow for a reason, because it's all about activating your vision for a better world.
Ari [00:29:10] Absolutely, you know, that whole being curious is also the same thing is becoming aware of. And when you become aware of something. It's like shining the light into the darkness. And so what I heard you just say, in my words, right, is shine the light into the darkness on your feeling and emotion so that you can. Recognize that it's there. A lot of people don't know when they're feeling angry, sad, grieving, emotional or whatever, they just are feeling a stress distress
Kyle [00:33:45] The Web site is Energy Flow Coaching dot com. I'm on social media, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter as energy flow coaching and Kyle Davies. So, yeah, and, you know, I love talking about this kind of stuff. So if anyone is listening and is interested or has any questions, please do get in touch with me and ask because I'm more than happy to, you know, find you an email or even have a chat. So, yeah, I think it starts with with discussions like this does. That's how we you know, our creativity comes from this, that we share ideas and we develop new ones. And I think that this sort stuff is incredibly important. So thank you for having me on. Congratulations on this, because I think it's brilliant.
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Full Transcription
Ari&Kylepart2.mp3
Ari [00:00:06] Has it occurred to you that the systems we live by are not designed to get results? We pay for procedures instead of outcomes, focusing on emergencies rather than preventing disease and living a healthy lifestyle. For over 25 years, I've taken care of Olympians, Paralympians, A-list actors and Fortune 1000 companies. If I did not get results, they did not get results. I realized that while powerful people who controlled the system want to keep the status quo. If I were to educate the masses, you would demand change. So I'm taking the gloves off and going after the systems as they are. Join me on my mission to create a new tomorrow as a chat with industry experts. Elite athletes thought leaders and government officials about how we activate our vision for a better world. We may agree and we may disagree. But I'm not backing down. I'm Ari Gronich. And this is. Create a new tomorrow podcast.
Ari [00:01:08] Welcome back to part two of this interview, if you missed the part one. Head back to the previous episode before you listen to this one. Now, we'll dive right into the conversation from the moment that we left off. Thanks again and welcome back.
Ari [00:01:23] So you've been doing this a long time and just as a as an example, as a story. Tell us a story about. A really great success that you had with somebody.
Kyle [00:01:40] So, yeah, a lady I had a while ago, but when she first came to see me, she had fibromyalgia and she'd said she was. She came in ice on a stick and she said she had been out looking at Pop, probably needing to get a wheelchair, so she was with a partner and she was in her 50s and she said, you know, I've had this for for a number of years. And it transpired that she'd been an alcoholic who was an alcoholic and had drunk for a lot of years, probably 20 years. And. And when she stopped drinking, which I think was like had been 10 years prior to when I'm seeing and then the fibromyalgia came. So it's almost as if then she's she becomes aware of probably what was already there. And when she began to do the work, it was really interesting to me because we talked about, you know, we talked.
Kyle [00:02:38] I know. I know. I don't spend a lot of time talking about people's childhoods, but we talked a little bit about what life was like for her. And again, looking from a medical history perspective, just looking at her symptoms or when they first, you know, what was it like? Did she get any symptoms when she was younger? But she told me about what it was, what her childhood was like. And it was pretty evident to me that she was bullied and emotionally abused, physically and emotionally abused by both her mother and her older sister. And that was really interesting, the way she talked about it, because she was talking about it in the same way as I'm talking to you now. You know, there was nothing. There was she wasn't redshifts, you know, wasn't registering any emotion at all. It was a matter of fact, she was quite happy. She told me she felt sorry for them because they obviously weren't nice people. No, because my perspective is that, well, what's happened is in order to deal with get through that trauma is that as a child, she or she kind of shut off. We know this happens, that we kind of shut off from those emotional processes. And she's that that's that's a becomes a learned pattern. And so she's she goes through life. Everything is shut down or her emotional side is kind of shut down. And again, this from this metaphorical perspective, will the body will is try to tell you something is right. Well, the emotion is shut down to the bodies now sending symptoms to say you're not feeling your emotion, you need to feel the emotions you have. So I invited her to take a no to symptoms. As I said, the ups and downs of when, you know, with the idea. Well, there's a message there. And when she came back to me for the second session, the first thing she was the aware became aware of was all of the emotion that she actually felt about her mother and a sister. And again, that wasn't the focus of the exercise. The focus of Rosewell is probably emotion that you're not feeling best. That's one of the fundamental things, is that the body sending a symptom because the emotion is not being felt. Because again, going back to what I was saying earlier, we know we can block our feelings with the emotions. Silts is still going. So if there are if there are symptoms there, there's every chance you might not be feeling any emotion underneath. We're just going to assume that it's there and not big fat. So that was the first thing was that she was kind of overwhelmed with, oh, my God, I know this. I obviously do feel a lot of her, a lot of anger about what happened.
Kyle [00:05:03] But then crucially, it was we and this is where the work kind of stepped in, was that she developed those patterns of of blocking how she really felt. So we have to look at when symptoms are cropping up and then how does this relate to today? Tomorrow, the next day was what was going on at half past three on a Thursday afternoon. What was who was there? What was going on? What might have what might be emotions of being that the party was trying to kind of get through because they they weren't being found. So then so that, you know, that's that takes a period of time because it's it's uncovering and then it's. All right. Well, what do I do instead? If I if I've been like this for kind of 20, 30 years. And why how do we change that? But I do remember being on vacation with my family in Spain, I. Some, you know, in that summer and getting a text message from her saying that she just completed a local kind of park run, kind of a five K sort of fun run. She said, I will most of it, but she said I did some jogging. And she said just to think that, you know, when I came to see you first, I was looking to get a wheelchair because I was having increasing problems with walking. You could only walk kind of, you know, 10, 15 steps. So that that was that's a kind of a plus a great success. I think with the thing with that is you one of the difficulties, I think, with the work that I do is that is the cause and effect and not necessarily closely linked.
Kyle [00:06:37] I think intuitively, people to know this, you know, go back to, you know, when you get a headache and you want need to drink more water, I think people can see that. Well, I got a headache. I'm probably dehydrated. Yeah, probably. Or in touch. Which caffeine. So I'm pretty cut back on the coke. Get some water. And that makes. We will come by that.
Kyle [00:06:52] But if you say, well, actually, you know, this is a bunch of emotion going on here that you're not feeling and your body tried to tell you with a headache. I think at one level, people sometimes know because it's it's not uncommon for people to say, oh, God.
Kyle [00:07:05] I got to get a stress headache after a terrible day at work. And I think they can understand that. The interesting thing, if that headache becomes chronic and you've got a headache for, you know, quite a bad headache and you waking up with a bad headache, it's not going away. And it's there for three weeks, for a month. You then take, you know, shit, I better go and see my my, my, my doctor now and then. The doctor's going to go on. Probably want to take some pills for that. So even though intuitively to begin with, they probably knew that. Well, yeah, this I'm just massively frustrated by then. Just going over having a glass of wine or taking some whatever they take by not actually addressing what's going on.
Kyle [00:07:44] And that's the tricky thing, is it's not easy to address what's going on here. Is there some is this something that some action I need to take? Because I feel this this level of frustration or whatever is what does this say? Something about my model of reality? Is this something about my expectations by the meaning I place in life? Do we need to look at that? And that's the kind of the deeper stuff. I suppose that's what a lot of my work is about is this is behavioral changes that people make. But there's also that other stuff or which is who I feel I am in relation to work, my boss and whatever it is. And therefore what what needs to change in order to get this me flowing and get my emotions flowing. But that it's not that's not easy work to do and to say that cause and effect seem to be a little bit further apart.
Kyle [00:08:33] So, yeah, yeah. That would that was that's what we stuck with me, that lady, because I just remember being on vacation, see in that text message and they can just.
Kyle [00:08:42] No that's that's what this is all about.
Ari [00:08:44] Absolutely. I love that. And.
Ari [00:08:49] So I'd like to take this, too, a little bit more of a 30000 foot view systemically, societally, right.
Ari [00:08:58] I always talk about things like medicine began with infrastructure, we created aqueducts and things to move waste away from neighborhoods in order for to keep people from getting sick because they were sleeping next to pig poo. You know, I mean, this is this is that the reason for infrastructure at the beginning was a medical system is like, OK, you're you're sleeping next to the next to the feces. You're you're getting sick. OK, let's move that away from where you're where you're sleeping and living. So aqueducts and infrastructure was created. And I have a theory that we have with all of our roads and air travel and noise and bombardment of radio waves and et cetera, that we have infrastructurally created a system that causes more stress and more illness rather than helping to alleviate. And the other part of that theory is that we made this shit up and we can do better. So why don't we start looking at how do we create a system that causes less stress and is more in harmony and balance with nature? So if you're if you're going to look at from a 30000 foot view and go, I'm looking down on the world, go on.
Ari [00:10:28] What can we do as a society? To begin the process of reconstructing how we've created this society. And and build one that is more attuned with nature and alleviate stress. What would be your thoughts, and I know this is like an out of the blue, not something that that you probably have heard a question like that before.
Kyle [00:11:00] But no, I haven't. But I just my sense of it, it probably starts with it does start with parenting, really, and it starts with the things that we teach our children. You know, I I agree completely with what you say, you know, from my perspective of, well, the sorts of illnesses that we were dealing with a couple hundred years ago are entirely different from the sorts of illnesses that we're dealing with. Most of the chronic health challenges we're facing now are lifestyle health issues. So, yeah, we've created something around convenience and a a pleasure fix without a deeper understanding of who we are. So I think I, I think from a younger age, we need to be introducing some of the ideas of, you know, where it is, you know, who are we? Where does our experience come from? What is what's what's of value and what's important. You know, even things simple things like like connection. But for me, empowerment is is crucial. And having people own their experience and be be honest with that, you know. So I think we should be teaching kids these things the way I parent. You know, I've got two daughters that are fifteen and seventeen. And, you know, I've done my best to kind of to empower them with, you know, to to kind of own their feelings, to express their feelings, to to walk their stand in their own truth. And, you know, I think that's kind of what we should be doing from that, because the young people then I think they'll come up with ideas of the kind of the complex stuff that we need to do with society as a whole. I think this the kind of the factory line approach to education for me is is not was not worked the you know, the left brain focus of teaching kids a bunch of facts that they then regurgitate for exams. You know, I don't know how different it is over there, but I know what it's like over here. Kids are taught to pass exams, really. And they kind of learn stuff to pass exams. So that's for me. It's it starts with children. But it would be it's it's I mean, parenting as well. I know that's that's a big thing, isn't it? But I think that people just have kids and I don't obviously think about how they parent. But you could argue that, you know, a huge proportion of the issues that we face up are parenting issues. But on a completely different note, there's an argument to say that statistically, when it comes to well-being and health, the key would be to be poor because the statistics would suggest that, you know, those people that are living in poverty, the kind of that the metrics for health are far worse. So if there was a basic universal living wage, that could go some way, you know, to help people get out of poverty, that might improve health outcomes. And, you know, you know, there's this there's a lot of it's deep stuff now. And there's there's a and I'm no expert on those.
Ari [00:14:22] Yeah. You know. It is very deep. One of my my mentors is Buckminster Fuller. And his work is to me, pretty amazing. And one of the things that he is quoted and I'm going to paraphrase because it's too long of a quote, but it's basically the auspicious notion that we need to work to be a value. Needs to end when there is 10000 people that have the ability to create the technology that would support the rest of the world population to work to be a value.
Ari [00:15:08] Is.
Ari [00:15:09] A thing that we've created in our society, and because of that, we've created this massive amount of stress because now we're not working for or towards our passions. We're working for or towards the ability to eat. We're working for or towards the ability to put shelter over our heads and to live at all. And that causes such a massive amount of stress that is completely unnecessary in a world that is abundant with shelter and food. Right. So we've made it so food is not, you know, at least in my area. They were talking a lot about not allowing you to make food in your own backyard. Have a have an outdoor garden in your own backyard. To me, that's because you might share it with the friend or a neighbor. And and it may have some salmonella or some disease or some this or that. And so because you may share it with a friend and it's not just a personal consumption, they didn't want to allow that. And I say, you know, there's like you go down the road, right? And you see all these oak trees or pine trees or whatever trees. And like, if all we did is every other tree, we planted an orange tree, an apple tree, a pear tree, a plum tree, you know, some berry bushes and stuff, you could walk down the road and eat. That's your real fast food, right? That's going to cause more health, less stress. If you were to do that in schools, right? You have community schools or community gardens inside of the school that feeds not only the school, but also teaches the kids about planting and nutrition and health and so on.
Ari [00:17:05] This would be something that would be really beneficial. And I had an experience once, and I'll just kind of briefly tell you about it. I was working with my buddy Mike Torsha, who had started this project called the Shape Up America campaign, was a project to nonprofit to help get kids healthier. And we went to New York City and we met with the New York City boards on for their schools, for all of New York. So we were talking to the person that was in charge of all of New York's schools. And we had the funding. We had the the the venders who were ready to put foods that are healthy and so on inside the schools could create the gardens on top of roofs in some cases because there's plenty of land everywhere, even if it's above right. Or hydroponics, you know, and so forth. So we had all of this prepared and ready and we were just doing our proposal and they said we have a contract with a sugar company and I'm not going to name the sugar company, but it's a pretty big company inside in New York City and we're not allowed to give any foods with alternative to sugar. So it can't be an artificial sweetener like stevia or monck fruit or something healthy or even a garvie. It had to be sugar or a sugar substitute, right. And that was a statewide contract that they had, so they declined to help their students become healthier because of this agreement or contract they had with the sugar company. And I was thinking to myself, like. If only they could understand the logic or lack of logic that they just said to me, you know, that they just talked about what is wrong with this picture. When money and contracts is more important than the health and living of our populace. And so it made me really think about how do we create these systemic changes. And, you know. And in the systemic change of. Of decreasing stress is probably the most important. To our app or our health that we can make,.
Kyle [00:19:44] I think there's a couple of things.
Kyle [00:19:45] I think the first thing you said about growing things in your garden, you know, for me, that's nothing to do with potentially giving salmonella to your neighbor. It's all about. That's all about control, isn't it? Because if you're self-sufficient, we don't own you. So whilst that's a conspiracy kind of notion, I think we all kind of know that big business. Runs the world. Really? And again, that's the stuff. The second thing that goes into the second piece is if people are self-sufficient, you know, and there's those power structures are kind of brought down.
Kyle [00:20:24] No, I think part of what's going on.
Kyle [00:20:27] You know, I don't know where you stand with it, but I think part of what's going on at the moment is I think we are going through this a huge period of dramatic change. And I think that part of it is there is a breaking down of throat. And we are, you know, arguably it's a very exciting time. But whenever there is a period of going through change, whether it's an individual, whether it's a culture, whether it's a planet. There is a period of chaos or seeming chaos while there is this breaking down and rebuilding. And I think that's where where we are right now. I think we're seeing transparency. I think we're seeing, you know, the the grip of the grip of the old of the old ideas of the old structures. I think that's kind of coming down on where we're witnessing it. So it's an exciting time to be right. But, yeah, I think it's it's it's gonna be it's fundamental, isn't it? I think it's I wondered whether things post-Soviet might begin to go back to something a little bit more local. But I know what it's like right here. People show up buying things in local stores. So, you know, their fruit and veg and their meat and whatever is is locally sourced. So it would be nice to see a proliferation of facts as we kind of move move forward. But yeah, I think, you know, we're in for a bit of a rocky road over the next couple years or rocky ride. But hopefully, you know, I'm very optimistic that there is this kind of global change in, you know, in a positive way.
Kyle [00:22:04] I think the old the old guard will try to hang onto power, you know, because those small number of people in power will want to hold onto their power.
Kyle [00:22:14] But I think that I think ultimately that we. Hopefully, we will see a fundamental change in, you know, we can look back in however many years time, 10, 20, 30 years, 40 years time, and look back and say, yeah, things things really were changing then.
Ari [00:22:31] Yeah. You know, I have a feeling that we're at this crossroads and we can either choose. To go with the status quo or we could choose to go with the revolution. And it doesn't have to be a violent revolution, as we've been seeing with a lot of protests, it could be a peaceful revolution, but a revolution is what's needed. And, you know, this show is called Create a new tomorrow for a reason, because it's all about activating your vision for a better world.
Ari [00:23:05] And, you know, I'm starting a mastermind to go along with this kind of a philosophy so that we can get people having these kinds of conversations on a regular basis that actually move forward, society that move forward, people individually, communities locally and society as a whole. And the idea is to really create this new tomorrow to figure out, OK, we're in this transition period and they're saying the new norm. Well, we don't want this to be the new norm where we're socially isolated and having to cover our faces and not being able to hug and hold and and so on. So we've got to figure out a new. New norm. And wouldn't it be awesome if that new norm was one that was in alignment with nature, that understood nature and still allowed technology to move forward faster while being in harmony with nature? And so that's kind of my my feeling is like, how do we recreate this society? Because we did make it up. We created it. It's our imaginations that that has developed every building that you see, every every piece of legislation that came from us humans. Right. It wasn't wasn't the monkeys. It wasn't the sharks. Wasn't the dolphins that created this. We created it. And I think people forget that we created this society and we have the ability and opportunity at any given moment to shift and change what we've done and what we're doing for a more optimal response to getting better results for a higher and greater performance. And so that's really the the basis of me wanting to do this show for me, wanting to have people like you on. And so I'm going to ask you. As I ask everybody and I ask you in the last episode that we did together, what are three one the three things that are actionable steps that somebody could actually take with them and do today, tomorrow and the next day to improve their world, to create a new tomorrow for themselves and for the world that they live in?
Kyle [00:25:40] Well, you're right. It does start with the with the individual, doesn't it? I think that I would like to kind of break things down into little chunks that we can do. So what I would say is, you know, in the last show I mentioned breathing and, you know, we talked about the importance of coming back into the body, breathing. But I think that's learning to feels very important. I think that the way we can do that is that as a listener, you could take a good take one day. I'm going to take two days or I'm going to take a week. And what I'm going to do during that day, two days a week, I'm going to allow myself to be curious about how I feel, what I feel about things. You this an idea about what I like to do? Well, that concept is going to allow myself to be curious of what I experience, maybe some uncomfortable feelings. I'm going to allow them to be there, because what instinctively happens is that we experience some discomfort, anger, fear, sad, whatever. It's frustration. And we instinctively we block it. We try to push it aside. We go into our head and we try to rationalize it away. So what I would say is take that take that period of time. What day? Two days week. And allow yourself to come into your body, be aware with feelings and what you notice an uncomfortable feeling. Just be aware of it and remind yourself that it's perfectly okay for me to feel this feeling that I can fully feel it, whatever slight tension or whatever, whatever it is, I can fully feel it. I can observe. I can feel it. I can watch it and experience it. It's not a problem. And I don't have to solve this. It may be that it's inviting me to take action. But critically, the first step is I can let myself feel this is OK. What I feel is not a problem. I don't have to solve the feeling that make it it just moves. It may be that it moves you to do something. But honoring that for me, that's kind of the first step, is that it's honoring your feelings because so often we're labeling them. I don't want to be feeling this. I want to be the type of person that feels this. And quite quickly, because often what happens is that emotion does lead to an increase in activity of within the thought centers of the brain. So usually what happens is that when we feel something, I think lights up and we usually we get caught in kind of mind loops. So I'm coming out of the head and it can be that you notice that your head goes first. And in those instances, coming back into the body, because this is the advantage of breathing when you've learned to breathe. You've lost your training yourself out of your head a little bit back into the body anyway. But that idea that. All right. Let's just come back into the body as a first step. Let me remind myself what I feel. And it's perfectly okay for me to feel this anger that this anger is not a problem. Okay. You can be what I feel this what is I'd like to do. Is there anything I need to do? Is it prompted me to say something or to take some action? Or do I just need to allow myself to feel this without it being a being a problem? So that's my that's my one major actionable step. And if it's the same people that even if it's for a day, it will I would be interested to know what that you know, what the experiences from that, because there is that instinct to resist immediately. You have to tighten up. Resisted more chatter.
Ari [00:29:10] Absolutely, you know, that whole being curious is also the same thing is becoming aware of. And when you become aware of something. It's like shining the light into the darkness. And so what I heard you just say, in my words, right, is shine the light into the darkness on your feeling and emotion so that you can. Recognize that it's there. A lot of people don't know when they're feeling angry, sad, grieving, emotional or whatever, they just are feeling a stress distress. Right.
Ari [00:29:55] So and the part that you said, not judging it. Right, not judging that feeling, it's OK that I'm angry. It's OK. I don't have to do anything with it. It's OK that I feel that that is to me a brilliant, you know, piece of advice for people. And then the only other thing that I would that I would, I guess, want to add to that.
Ari [00:30:21] Is and you said this is the now what? Right now that I know this, what am I going to do with it? And I might go a little bit further and ask, when was the first time I felt this just as a curious, curious question. When was the first time that I felt this kind of a feeling? And just so that my my body can unravel the cord to the very beginning, you know, it might have been when I was three, it might been. And when I was two, somebody said something that felt, you know, mean to me. And then I just got reminded of it.
Ari [00:30:58] Now, you know, in healing, we always say that there's nothing that can happen to you. Now. That is the cause of your feelings. It's all the memories of the first time it happened. You know, the first time that trauma happened.
Ari [00:31:16] And and so it's a it's a really interesting thing that you're saying about recognizing being curious.
Ari [00:31:25] So.
Kyle [00:31:27] I think that it is. I just I think the idea of what I feel is not a problem is massive because people immediately will be trying to rationalize away, trying to think it away, judging this so many things, because it's no surprise, is it?
Kyle [00:31:42] Because according to science, far as I'm aware, the same areas of the brain light up when you express an emotional pain is what you it's physical pain. We know that human beings are wired to try to get away from pain or dissociated from pain as quick as possible. So whether it be thinking my way out of it or trying to find meaning in it, whatever it is, or getting stuck in my hips, were just resisting it or tensing up, whatever is there is that that's usually what people are doing best. Something down the avenue that they're taking the idea of coming back. And you know what? What what was interesting for me is that you will have big anger that you're feeling, which I'm comfortable. But then there's a whole layer of suffering that goes with that, with the resistance and then the mental churning associates that we can get rid of that suffering and come back to whatever the feeling is, simply by coming into the body and then being, OK, this is not a problem. It may be that I've got to turn onto my boss and say, well, actually, look, I can't take all that extra shift right now. So it may be that the frustration or anger is inviting us to do that. But critically, the first day is always this isn't a problem. The feeling is not a problem. It doesn't mean that they say this may well be that there's a problem out there that I need to deal with. But that's what the emotion is for, to a certain extent, is giving us a potentially giving us a nudge.
Ari [00:33:10] Absolutely. And that is absolutely brilliant. And this has been an amazing conversation that we have that we've been on this journey of experience and discovering ways in which we can take our stresses and turn them into positive behaviors and positive positivity versus turning them inward into disease. And so I really appreciate you coming on and sharing this wisdom. How could people get a hold of you if they want to get a hold of you?
Kyle [00:33:45] The Web site is Energy Flow Coaching dot com. I'm on social media, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter as energy flow coaching and Kyle Davies. So, yeah, and, you know, I love talking about this kind of stuff. So if anyone is listening and is interested or has any questions, please do get in touch with me and ask because I'm more than happy to, you know, find you an email or even have a chat. So, yeah, I think it starts with with discussions like this does. That's how we you know, our creativity comes from this, that we share ideas and we develop new ones. And I think that this sort stuff is incredibly important. So thank you for having me on. Congratulations on this, because I think it's brilliant.
Ari [00:34:30] Absolutely. Thank you so much. And just in case anybody is wondering, you know, Kyle works with people in the UK, USA, Brazil, Canada, Argentina, I mean, anywhere in the world that you are. We have shrunk the world with Zoom. He is more than happy to be of service and has been for a number 20. What is it? Twenty five years now. So I look forward to having you on sometime in the future. And again, thank you for listening and thank you for being here and taking your time to to understand these, these things and have these conversations with us. I look forward to your comments. Thank you so much. Create a new tomorrow. I'm your host. Ari Gronich. Activate your vision for a better world and have a healthy day. Thank you so much.
Ari [00:35:26] Thank you for listening to this podcast. I appreciate all you do to create a new tomorrow for yourself and those around you.
Ari [00:35:33] If you'd like to take this information further and are interested in joining a community of like minded people who are all passionate about activating their vision for a better world, go to the Web site, createanewtomorrow.com and find out how you can be part of making a bigger difference. I have a gift for you. Just for checking it out.
Ari [00:35:51] And look forward to seeing you. Take the leap. And joining our private paid mastermind community. Until then, see you on the next episode.
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Episode Highlights
Kyle [00:05:03] But then crucially, it was we and this is where the work kind of stepped in, was that she developed those patterns of of blocking how she really felt. So we have to look at when symptoms are cropping up and then how does this relate to today? Tomorrow, the next day was what was going on at half past three on a Thursday afternoon. What was who was there? What was going on? What might have what might be emotions of being that the party was trying to kind of get through because they they weren't being found. So then so that, you know, that's that takes a period of time because it's it's uncovering and then it's. All right. Well, what do I do instead? If I if I've been like this for kind of 20, 30 years. And why how do we change that? But I do remember being on vacation with my family in Spain, I. Some, you know, in that summer and getting a text message from her saying that she just completed a local kind of park run, kind of a five K sort of fun run. She said, I will most of it, but she said I did some jogging. And she said just to think that, you know, when I came to see you first, I was looking to get a wheelchair because I was having increasing problems with walking. You could only walk kind of, you know, 10, 15 steps. So that that was that's a kind of a plus a great success. I think with the thing with that is you one of the difficulties, I think, with the work that I do is that is the cause and effect and not necessarily closely linked.
Ari [00:08:58] I always talk about things like medicine began with infrastructure, we created aqueducts and things to move waste away from neighborhoods in order for to keep people from getting sick because they were sleeping next to pig poo. You know, I mean, this is this is that the reason for infrastructure at the beginning was a medical system is like, OK, you're you're sleeping next to the next to the feces. You're you're getting sick. OK, let's move that away from where you're where you're sleeping and living. So aqueducts and infrastructure was created. And I have a theory that we have with all of our roads and air travel and noise and bombardment of radio waves and et cetera, that we have infrastructurally created a system that causes more stress and more illness rather than helping to alleviate. And the other part of that theory is that we made this shit up and we can do better. So why don't we start looking at how do we create a system that causes less stress and is more in harmony and balance with nature? So if you're if you're going to look at from a 30000 foot view and go, I'm looking down on the world, go on.
Ari [00:14:22] Yeah. You know. It is very deep. One of my my mentors is Buckminster Fuller. And his work is to me, pretty amazing. And one of the things that he is quoted and I'm going to paraphrase because it's too long of a quote, but it's basically the auspicious notion that we need to work to be a value. Needs to end when there is 10000 people that have the ability to create the technology that would support the rest of the world population to work to be a value.
Kyle [00:19:45] I think the first thing you said about growing things in your garden, you know, for me, that's nothing to do with potentially giving salmonella to your neighbor. It's all about. That's all about control, isn't it? Because if you're self-sufficient, we don't own you. So whilst that's a conspiracy kind of notion, I think we all kind of know that big business. Runs the world. Really? And again, that's the stuff. The second thing that goes into the second piece is if people are self-sufficient, you know, and there's those power structures are kind of brought down.
Ari [00:22:31] Yeah. You know, I have a feeling that we're at this crossroads and we can either choose. To go with the status quo or we could choose to go with the revolution. And it doesn't have to be a violent revolution, as we've been seeing with a lot of protests, it could be a peaceful revolution, but a revolution is what's needed. And, you know, this show is called Create a new tomorrow for a reason, because it's all about activating your vision for a better world.
Ari [00:29:10] Absolutely, you know, that whole being curious is also the same thing is becoming aware of. And when you become aware of something. It's like shining the light into the darkness. And so what I heard you just say, in my words, right, is shine the light into the darkness on your feeling and emotion so that you can. Recognize that it's there. A lot of people don't know when they're feeling angry, sad, grieving, emotional or whatever, they just are feeling a stress distress
Kyle [00:33:45] The Web site is Energy Flow Coaching dot com. I'm on social media, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter as energy flow coaching and Kyle Davies. So, yeah, and, you know, I love talking about this kind of stuff. So if anyone is listening and is interested or has any questions, please do get in touch with me and ask because I'm more than happy to, you know, find you an email or even have a chat. So, yeah, I think it starts with with discussions like this does. That's how we you know, our creativity comes from this, that we share ideas and we develop new ones. And I think that this sort stuff is incredibly important. So thank you for having me on. Congratulations on this, because I think it's brilliant.
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Full Transcription
Ari&Kylepart2.mp3
Ari [00:00:06] Has it occurred to you that the systems we live by are not designed to get results? We pay for procedures instead of outcomes, focusing on emergencies rather than preventing disease and living a healthy lifestyle. For over 25 years, I've taken care of Olympians, Paralympians, A-list actors and Fortune 1000 companies. If I did not get results, they did not get results. I realized that while powerful people who controlled the system want to keep the status quo. If I were to educate the masses, you would demand change. So I'm taking the gloves off and going after the systems as they are. Join me on my mission to create a new tomorrow as a chat with industry experts. Elite athletes thought leaders and government officials about how we activate our vision for a better world. We may agree and we may disagree. But I'm not backing down. I'm Ari Gronich. And this is. Create a new tomorrow podcast.
Ari [00:01:08] Welcome back to part two of this interview, if you missed the part one. Head back to the previous episode before you listen to this one. Now, we'll dive right into the conversation from the moment that we left off. Thanks again and welcome back.
Ari [00:01:23] So you've been doing this a long time and just as a as an example, as a story. Tell us a story about. A really great success that you had with somebody.
Kyle [00:01:40] So, yeah, a lady I had a while ago, but when she first came to see me, she had fibromyalgia and she'd said she was. She came in ice on a stick and she said she had been out looking at Pop, probably needing to get a wheelchair, so she was with a partner and she was in her 50s and she said, you know, I've had this for for a number of years. And it transpired that she'd been an alcoholic who was an alcoholic and had drunk for a lot of years, probably 20 years. And. And when she stopped drinking, which I think was like had been 10 years prior to when I'm seeing and then the fibromyalgia came. So it's almost as if then she's she becomes aware of probably what was already there. And when she began to do the work, it was really interesting to me because we talked about, you know, we talked.
Kyle [00:02:38] I know. I know. I don't spend a lot of time talking about people's childhoods, but we talked a little bit about what life was like for her. And again, looking from a medical history perspective, just looking at her symptoms or when they first, you know, what was it like? Did she get any symptoms when she was younger? But she told me about what it was, what her childhood was like. And it was pretty evident to me that she was bullied and emotionally abused, physically and emotionally abused by both her mother and her older sister. And that was really interesting, the way she talked about it, because she was talking about it in the same way as I'm talking to you now. You know, there was nothing. There was she wasn't redshifts, you know, wasn't registering any emotion at all. It was a matter of fact, she was quite happy. She told me she felt sorry for them because they obviously weren't nice people. No, because my perspective is that, well, what's happened is in order to deal with get through that trauma is that as a child, she or she kind of shut off. We know this happens, that we kind of shut off from those emotional processes. And she's that that's that's a becomes a learned pattern. And so she's she goes through life. Everything is shut down or her emotional side is kind of shut down. And again, this from this metaphorical perspective, will the body will is try to tell you something is right. Well, the emotion is shut down to the bodies now sending symptoms to say you're not feeling your emotion, you need to feel the emotions you have. So I invited her to take a no to symptoms. As I said, the ups and downs of when, you know, with the idea. Well, there's a message there. And when she came back to me for the second session, the first thing she was the aware became aware of was all of the emotion that she actually felt about her mother and a sister. And again, that wasn't the focus of the exercise. The focus of Rosewell is probably emotion that you're not feeling best. That's one of the fundamental things, is that the body sending a symptom because the emotion is not being felt. Because again, going back to what I was saying earlier, we know we can block our feelings with the emotions. Silts is still going. So if there are if there are symptoms there, there's every chance you might not be feeling any emotion underneath. We're just going to assume that it's there and not big fat. So that was the first thing was that she was kind of overwhelmed with, oh, my God, I know this. I obviously do feel a lot of her, a lot of anger about what happened.
Kyle [00:05:03] But then crucially, it was we and this is where the work kind of stepped in, was that she developed those patterns of of blocking how she really felt. So we have to look at when symptoms are cropping up and then how does this relate to today? Tomorrow, the next day was what was going on at half past three on a Thursday afternoon. What was who was there? What was going on? What might have what might be emotions of being that the party was trying to kind of get through because they they weren't being found. So then so that, you know, that's that takes a period of time because it's it's uncovering and then it's. All right. Well, what do I do instead? If I if I've been like this for kind of 20, 30 years. And why how do we change that? But I do remember being on vacation with my family in Spain, I. Some, you know, in that summer and getting a text message from her saying that she just completed a local kind of park run, kind of a five K sort of fun run. She said, I will most of it, but she said I did some jogging. And she said just to think that, you know, when I came to see you first, I was looking to get a wheelchair because I was having increasing problems with walking. You could only walk kind of, you know, 10, 15 steps. So that that was that's a kind of a plus a great success. I think with the thing with that is you one of the difficulties, I think, with the work that I do is that is the cause and effect and not necessarily closely linked.
Kyle [00:06:37] I think intuitively, people to know this, you know, go back to, you know, when you get a headache and you want need to drink more water, I think people can see that. Well, I got a headache. I'm probably dehydrated. Yeah, probably. Or in touch. Which caffeine. So I'm pretty cut back on the coke. Get some water. And that makes. We will come by that.
Kyle [00:06:52] But if you say, well, actually, you know, this is a bunch of emotion going on here that you're not feeling and your body tried to tell you with a headache. I think at one level, people sometimes know because it's it's not uncommon for people to say, oh, God.
Kyle [00:07:05] I got to get a stress headache after a terrible day at work. And I think they can understand that. The interesting thing, if that headache becomes chronic and you've got a headache for, you know, quite a bad headache and you waking up with a bad headache, it's not going away. And it's there for three weeks, for a month. You then take, you know, shit, I better go and see my my, my, my doctor now and then. The doctor's going to go on. Probably want to take some pills for that. So even though intuitively to begin with, they probably knew that. Well, yeah, this I'm just massively frustrated by then. Just going over having a glass of wine or taking some whatever they take by not actually addressing what's going on.
Kyle [00:07:44] And that's the tricky thing, is it's not easy to address what's going on here. Is there some is this something that some action I need to take? Because I feel this this level of frustration or whatever is what does this say? Something about my model of reality? Is this something about my expectations by the meaning I place in life? Do we need to look at that? And that's the kind of the deeper stuff. I suppose that's what a lot of my work is about is this is behavioral changes that people make. But there's also that other stuff or which is who I feel I am in relation to work, my boss and whatever it is. And therefore what what needs to change in order to get this me flowing and get my emotions flowing. But that it's not that's not easy work to do and to say that cause and effect seem to be a little bit further apart.
Kyle [00:08:33] So, yeah, yeah. That would that was that's what we stuck with me, that lady, because I just remember being on vacation, see in that text message and they can just.
Kyle [00:08:42] No that's that's what this is all about.
Ari [00:08:44] Absolutely. I love that. And.
Ari [00:08:49] So I'd like to take this, too, a little bit more of a 30000 foot view systemically, societally, right.
Ari [00:08:58] I always talk about things like medicine began with infrastructure, we created aqueducts and things to move waste away from neighborhoods in order for to keep people from getting sick because they were sleeping next to pig poo. You know, I mean, this is this is that the reason for infrastructure at the beginning was a medical system is like, OK, you're you're sleeping next to the next to the feces. You're you're getting sick. OK, let's move that away from where you're where you're sleeping and living. So aqueducts and infrastructure was created. And I have a theory that we have with all of our roads and air travel and noise and bombardment of radio waves and et cetera, that we have infrastructurally created a system that causes more stress and more illness rather than helping to alleviate. And the other part of that theory is that we made this shit up and we can do better. So why don't we start looking at how do we create a system that causes less stress and is more in harmony and balance with nature? So if you're if you're going to look at from a 30000 foot view and go, I'm looking down on the world, go on.
Ari [00:10:28] What can we do as a society? To begin the process of reconstructing how we've created this society. And and build one that is more attuned with nature and alleviate stress. What would be your thoughts, and I know this is like an out of the blue, not something that that you probably have heard a question like that before.
Kyle [00:11:00] But no, I haven't. But I just my sense of it, it probably starts with it does start with parenting, really, and it starts with the things that we teach our children. You know, I I agree completely with what you say, you know, from my perspective of, well, the sorts of illnesses that we were dealing with a couple hundred years ago are entirely different from the sorts of illnesses that we're dealing with. Most of the chronic health challenges we're facing now are lifestyle health issues. So, yeah, we've created something around convenience and a a pleasure fix without a deeper understanding of who we are. So I think I, I think from a younger age, we need to be introducing some of the ideas of, you know, where it is, you know, who are we? Where does our experience come from? What is what's what's of value and what's important. You know, even things simple things like like connection. But for me, empowerment is is crucial. And having people own their experience and be be honest with that, you know. So I think we should be teaching kids these things the way I parent. You know, I've got two daughters that are fifteen and seventeen. And, you know, I've done my best to kind of to empower them with, you know, to to kind of own their feelings, to express their feelings, to to walk their stand in their own truth. And, you know, I think that's kind of what we should be doing from that, because the young people then I think they'll come up with ideas of the kind of the complex stuff that we need to do with society as a whole. I think this the kind of the factory line approach to education for me is is not was not worked the you know, the left brain focus of teaching kids a bunch of facts that they then regurgitate for exams. You know, I don't know how different it is over there, but I know what it's like over here. Kids are taught to pass exams, really. And they kind of learn stuff to pass exams. So that's for me. It's it starts with children. But it would be it's it's I mean, parenting as well. I know that's that's a big thing, isn't it? But I think that people just have kids and I don't obviously think about how they parent. But you could argue that, you know, a huge proportion of the issues that we face up are parenting issues. But on a completely different note, there's an argument to say that statistically, when it comes to well-being and health, the key would be to be poor because the statistics would suggest that, you know, those people that are living in poverty, the kind of that the metrics for health are far worse. So if there was a basic universal living wage, that could go some way, you know, to help people get out of poverty, that might improve health outcomes. And, you know, you know, there's this there's a lot of it's deep stuff now. And there's there's a and I'm no expert on those.
Ari [00:14:22] Yeah. You know. It is very deep. One of my my mentors is Buckminster Fuller. And his work is to me, pretty amazing. And one of the things that he is quoted and I'm going to paraphrase because it's too long of a quote, but it's basically the auspicious notion that we need to work to be a value. Needs to end when there is 10000 people that have the ability to create the technology that would support the rest of the world population to work to be a value.
Ari [00:15:08] Is.
Ari [00:15:09] A thing that we've created in our society, and because of that, we've created this massive amount of stress because now we're not working for or towards our passions. We're working for or towards the ability to eat. We're working for or towards the ability to put shelter over our heads and to live at all. And that causes such a massive amount of stress that is completely unnecessary in a world that is abundant with shelter and food. Right. So we've made it so food is not, you know, at least in my area. They were talking a lot about not allowing you to make food in your own backyard. Have a have an outdoor garden in your own backyard. To me, that's because you might share it with the friend or a neighbor. And and it may have some salmonella or some disease or some this or that. And so because you may share it with a friend and it's not just a personal consumption, they didn't want to allow that. And I say, you know, there's like you go down the road, right? And you see all these oak trees or pine trees or whatever trees. And like, if all we did is every other tree, we planted an orange tree, an apple tree, a pear tree, a plum tree, you know, some berry bushes and stuff, you could walk down the road and eat. That's your real fast food, right? That's going to cause more health, less stress. If you were to do that in schools, right? You have community schools or community gardens inside of the school that feeds not only the school, but also teaches the kids about planting and nutrition and health and so on.
Ari [00:17:05] This would be something that would be really beneficial. And I had an experience once, and I'll just kind of briefly tell you about it. I was working with my buddy Mike Torsha, who had started this project called the Shape Up America campaign, was a project to nonprofit to help get kids healthier. And we went to New York City and we met with the New York City boards on for their schools, for all of New York. So we were talking to the person that was in charge of all of New York's schools. And we had the funding. We had the the the venders who were ready to put foods that are healthy and so on inside the schools could create the gardens on top of roofs in some cases because there's plenty of land everywhere, even if it's above right. Or hydroponics, you know, and so forth. So we had all of this prepared and ready and we were just doing our proposal and they said we have a contract with a sugar company and I'm not going to name the sugar company, but it's a pretty big company inside in New York City and we're not allowed to give any foods with alternative to sugar. So it can't be an artificial sweetener like stevia or monck fruit or something healthy or even a garvie. It had to be sugar or a sugar substitute, right. And that was a statewide contract that they had, so they declined to help their students become healthier because of this agreement or contract they had with the sugar company. And I was thinking to myself, like. If only they could understand the logic or lack of logic that they just said to me, you know, that they just talked about what is wrong with this picture. When money and contracts is more important than the health and living of our populace. And so it made me really think about how do we create these systemic changes. And, you know. And in the systemic change of. Of decreasing stress is probably the most important. To our app or our health that we can make,.
Kyle [00:19:44] I think there's a couple of things.
Kyle [00:19:45] I think the first thing you said about growing things in your garden, you know, for me, that's nothing to do with potentially giving salmonella to your neighbor. It's all about. That's all about control, isn't it? Because if you're self-sufficient, we don't own you. So whilst that's a conspiracy kind of notion, I think we all kind of know that big business. Runs the world. Really? And again, that's the stuff. The second thing that goes into the second piece is if people are self-sufficient, you know, and there's those power structures are kind of brought down.
Kyle [00:20:24] No, I think part of what's going on.
Kyle [00:20:27] You know, I don't know where you stand with it, but I think part of what's going on at the moment is I think we are going through this a huge period of dramatic change. And I think that part of it is there is a breaking down of throat. And we are, you know, arguably it's a very exciting time. But whenever there is a period of going through change, whether it's an individual, whether it's a culture, whether it's a planet. There is a period of chaos or seeming chaos while there is this breaking down and rebuilding. And I think that's where where we are right now. I think we're seeing transparency. I think we're seeing, you know, the the grip of the grip of the old of the old ideas of the old structures. I think that's kind of coming down on where we're witnessing it. So it's an exciting time to be right. But, yeah, I think it's it's it's gonna be it's fundamental, isn't it? I think it's I wondered whether things post-Soviet might begin to go back to something a little bit more local. But I know what it's like right here. People show up buying things in local stores. So, you know, their fruit and veg and their meat and whatever is is locally sourced. So it would be nice to see a proliferation of facts as we kind of move move forward. But yeah, I think, you know, we're in for a bit of a rocky road over the next couple years or rocky ride. But hopefully, you know, I'm very optimistic that there is this kind of global change in, you know, in a positive way.
Kyle [00:22:04] I think the old the old guard will try to hang onto power, you know, because those small number of people in power will want to hold onto their power.
Kyle [00:22:14] But I think that I think ultimately that we. Hopefully, we will see a fundamental change in, you know, we can look back in however many years time, 10, 20, 30 years, 40 years time, and look back and say, yeah, things things really were changing then.
Ari [00:22:31] Yeah. You know, I have a feeling that we're at this crossroads and we can either choose. To go with the status quo or we could choose to go with the revolution. And it doesn't have to be a violent revolution, as we've been seeing with a lot of protests, it could be a peaceful revolution, but a revolution is what's needed. And, you know, this show is called Create a new tomorrow for a reason, because it's all about activating your vision for a better world.
Ari [00:23:05] And, you know, I'm starting a mastermind to go along with this kind of a philosophy so that we can get people having these kinds of conversations on a regular basis that actually move forward, society that move forward, people individually, communities locally and society as a whole. And the idea is to really create this new tomorrow to figure out, OK, we're in this transition period and they're saying the new norm. Well, we don't want this to be the new norm where we're socially isolated and having to cover our faces and not being able to hug and hold and and so on. So we've got to figure out a new. New norm. And wouldn't it be awesome if that new norm was one that was in alignment with nature, that understood nature and still allowed technology to move forward faster while being in harmony with nature? And so that's kind of my my feeling is like, how do we recreate this society? Because we did make it up. We created it. It's our imaginations that that has developed every building that you see, every every piece of legislation that came from us humans. Right. It wasn't wasn't the monkeys. It wasn't the sharks. Wasn't the dolphins that created this. We created it. And I think people forget that we created this society and we have the ability and opportunity at any given moment to shift and change what we've done and what we're doing for a more optimal response to getting better results for a higher and greater performance. And so that's really the the basis of me wanting to do this show for me, wanting to have people like you on. And so I'm going to ask you. As I ask everybody and I ask you in the last episode that we did together, what are three one the three things that are actionable steps that somebody could actually take with them and do today, tomorrow and the next day to improve their world, to create a new tomorrow for themselves and for the world that they live in?
Kyle [00:25:40] Well, you're right. It does start with the with the individual, doesn't it? I think that I would like to kind of break things down into little chunks that we can do. So what I would say is, you know, in the last show I mentioned breathing and, you know, we talked about the importance of coming back into the body, breathing. But I think that's learning to feels very important. I think that the way we can do that is that as a listener, you could take a good take one day. I'm going to take two days or I'm going to take a week. And what I'm going to do during that day, two days a week, I'm going to allow myself to be curious about how I feel, what I feel about things. You this an idea about what I like to do? Well, that concept is going to allow myself to be curious of what I experience, maybe some uncomfortable feelings. I'm going to allow them to be there, because what instinctively happens is that we experience some discomfort, anger, fear, sad, whatever. It's frustration. And we instinctively we block it. We try to push it aside. We go into our head and we try to rationalize it away. So what I would say is take that take that period of time. What day? Two days week. And allow yourself to come into your body, be aware with feelings and what you notice an uncomfortable feeling. Just be aware of it and remind yourself that it's perfectly okay for me to feel this feeling that I can fully feel it, whatever slight tension or whatever, whatever it is, I can fully feel it. I can observe. I can feel it. I can watch it and experience it. It's not a problem. And I don't have to solve this. It may be that it's inviting me to take action. But critically, the first step is I can let myself feel this is OK. What I feel is not a problem. I don't have to solve the feeling that make it it just moves. It may be that it moves you to do something. But honoring that for me, that's kind of the first step, is that it's honoring your feelings because so often we're labeling them. I don't want to be feeling this. I want to be the type of person that feels this. And quite quickly, because often what happens is that emotion does lead to an increase in activity of within the thought centers of the brain. So usually what happens is that when we feel something, I think lights up and we usually we get caught in kind of mind loops. So I'm coming out of the head and it can be that you notice that your head goes first. And in those instances, coming back into the body, because this is the advantage of breathing when you've learned to breathe. You've lost your training yourself out of your head a little bit back into the body anyway. But that idea that. All right. Let's just come back into the body as a first step. Let me remind myself what I feel. And it's perfectly okay for me to feel this anger that this anger is not a problem. Okay. You can be what I feel this what is I'd like to do. Is there anything I need to do? Is it prompted me to say something or to take some action? Or do I just need to allow myself to feel this without it being a being a problem? So that's my that's my one major actionable step. And if it's the same people that even if it's for a day, it will I would be interested to know what that you know, what the experiences from that, because there is that instinct to resist immediately. You have to tighten up. Resisted more chatter.
Ari [00:29:10] Absolutely, you know, that whole being curious is also the same thing is becoming aware of. And when you become aware of something. It's like shining the light into the darkness. And so what I heard you just say, in my words, right, is shine the light into the darkness on your feeling and emotion so that you can. Recognize that it's there. A lot of people don't know when they're feeling angry, sad, grieving, emotional or whatever, they just are feeling a stress distress. Right.
Ari [00:29:55] So and the part that you said, not judging it. Right, not judging that feeling, it's OK that I'm angry. It's OK. I don't have to do anything with it. It's OK that I feel that that is to me a brilliant, you know, piece of advice for people. And then the only other thing that I would that I would, I guess, want to add to that.
Ari [00:30:21] Is and you said this is the now what? Right now that I know this, what am I going to do with it? And I might go a little bit further and ask, when was the first time I felt this just as a curious, curious question. When was the first time that I felt this kind of a feeling? And just so that my my body can unravel the cord to the very beginning, you know, it might have been when I was three, it might been. And when I was two, somebody said something that felt, you know, mean to me. And then I just got reminded of it.
Ari [00:30:58] Now, you know, in healing, we always say that there's nothing that can happen to you. Now. That is the cause of your feelings. It's all the memories of the first time it happened. You know, the first time that trauma happened.
Ari [00:31:16] And and so it's a it's a really interesting thing that you're saying about recognizing being curious.
Ari [00:31:25] So.
Kyle [00:31:27] I think that it is. I just I think the idea of what I feel is not a problem is massive because people immediately will be trying to rationalize away, trying to think it away, judging this so many things, because it's no surprise, is it?
Kyle [00:31:42] Because according to science, far as I'm aware, the same areas of the brain light up when you express an emotional pain is what you it's physical pain. We know that human beings are wired to try to get away from pain or dissociated from pain as quick as possible. So whether it be thinking my way out of it or trying to find meaning in it, whatever it is, or getting stuck in my hips, were just resisting it or tensing up, whatever is there is that that's usually what people are doing best. Something down the avenue that they're taking the idea of coming back. And you know what? What what was interesting for me is that you will have big anger that you're feeling, which I'm comfortable. But then there's a whole layer of suffering that goes with that, with the resistance and then the mental churning associates that we can get rid of that suffering and come back to whatever the feeling is, simply by coming into the body and then being, OK, this is not a problem. It may be that I've got to turn onto my boss and say, well, actually, look, I can't take all that extra shift right now. So it may be that the frustration or anger is inviting us to do that. But critically, the first day is always this isn't a problem. The feeling is not a problem. It doesn't mean that they say this may well be that there's a problem out there that I need to deal with. But that's what the emotion is for, to a certain extent, is giving us a potentially giving us a nudge.
Ari [00:33:10] Absolutely. And that is absolutely brilliant. And this has been an amazing conversation that we have that we've been on this journey of experience and discovering ways in which we can take our stresses and turn them into positive behaviors and positive positivity versus turning them inward into disease. And so I really appreciate you coming on and sharing this wisdom. How could people get a hold of you if they want to get a hold of you?
Kyle [00:33:45] The Web site is Energy Flow Coaching dot com. I'm on social media, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter as energy flow coaching and Kyle Davies. So, yeah, and, you know, I love talking about this kind of stuff. So if anyone is listening and is interested or has any questions, please do get in touch with me and ask because I'm more than happy to, you know, find you an email or even have a chat. So, yeah, I think it starts with with discussions like this does. That's how we you know, our creativity comes from this, that we share ideas and we develop new ones. And I think that this sort stuff is incredibly important. So thank you for having me on. Congratulations on this, because I think it's brilliant.
Ari [00:34:30] Absolutely. Thank you so much. And just in case anybody is wondering, you know, Kyle works with people in the UK, USA, Brazil, Canada, Argentina, I mean, anywhere in the world that you are. We have shrunk the world with Zoom. He is more than happy to be of service and has been for a number 20. What is it? Twenty five years now. So I look forward to having you on sometime in the future. And again, thank you for listening and thank you for being here and taking your time to to understand these, these things and have these conversations with us. I look forward to your comments. Thank you so much. Create a new tomorrow. I'm your host. Ari Gronich. Activate your vision for a better world and have a healthy day. Thank you so much.
Ari [00:35:26] Thank you for listening to this podcast. I appreciate all you do to create a new tomorrow for yourself and those around you.
Ari [00:35:33] If you'd like to take this information further and are interested in joining a community of like minded people who are all passionate about activating their vision for a better world, go to the Web site, createanewtomorrow.com and find out how you can be part of making a bigger difference. I have a gift for you. Just for checking it out.
Ari [00:35:51] And look forward to seeing you. Take the leap. And joining our private paid mastermind community. Until then, see you on the next episode.