Crackpot Cinema: Ep #23—“Pat Healy IS The Maniac Robert Mitchum!”

Actor, film fanatic, and profoundly committed “Robert Mitchum completist” PAT HEALY (CHEAP THRILLS, THE INNKEEPERS, COMPLIANCE) joins Mike and Aaron to take on two of Mitch’s most challenging projects—and they’re “challenging” in terms of any human being actually having to endure them. We did and we’re here to tell you all about it.

First up is the boxing kangaroo mega-bomb MATILDA (1978) starring Elliot Gould, Art Metrano, Mitch as a sportswriter, and, in the title role, some simp in a genuinely jarring, hunk-of-dung marsupial suit.

Then it’s BACKFIRE! (1995), an inexplicable straight-to-VHS parody of Ron Howard’s 1991 non-classic, BACKDRAFT. This time, Mitch plays Fire Marshal Marshall opposite Telly Savalas, Shelley Winters, Kathy Ireland, Mary McCormack, and Edie Falco as “Mom.”

Jawboning highlights include: Pat Healy dulcetly recites Matilda-penned poetry; Pat and Debby Boone put a milk-fed spin on “Lemon Incest;” Edd Kookie B. invokes his guru Troy D.; BACKFIRE star Josh Mosby dangles his white-chocolate deliciousness; and the Carol Connors who’s NOT Thora Birch’s porn star mom may actually be cooler than the Carol Connors who IS Thora Birch’s porn star mom (again: MAY be).