Crackpot Cinema Podcast

Crackpot Cinema: Ep. 31 — MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR (1967) + SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978)

On a very special final episode of Crackpot Cinema, Aaron Lee, Kat Ellinger and Ben Reiser pay loving tribute to our fallen pod-rade, Mike “McBeardo” McPadden, and also carry through with Mike’s plans for a special Crackpot Beatles Boxing Day Celebration.

Tearjerking and gutbusting highlights include:

• McBeardo takes the easy way out!

• Ben Reiser: Will Work for Cookies!

• Katrinka explains Boxing Day!

• Victor Spinetti pronounces FOR THE LOVE OF BENJI!

• McBeardo Bigger than Jesus!?!

• Working Class Beatles vs. Art School Stones!

• Do Brits know what spaghetti is?!?

• Peter Frampton is Smeagol!

• Strawberry Fields sings Strawberry Fields???

• Sha Na Na is the missing link between Woodstock and Sgt. Pepper!!

• George Fucking Burns fixes a hole!

• Alice Cooper is Frank Zappa!

• The Wall meets Xanadu!!

And much, much, much more.

Mike McPadden GoFundMe: gofund.me/9bd70663

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https://www.gofundme.com/f/mike-mcbeardo-mcpadden-memorial-fund?fbclid=IwAR1ouyHvjfwHJcKIlCBmJwtNXcvpF6jeec9ObFin4fKo8koTlSZtImddJ3c

Crackpot Cinema: Ep. 29 — BUSTIN’ LOOSE (1981) and D.C. CAB (1983)

Guest co-host PAT HEALY comes roaring back for high-octane, outrageously anti-social, bizarrely heart-warming careen into the early-’80s R-rated comedy oddities BUSTIN’ LOOSE (1981) with Richard Pryor and D.C. CAB (1983) with — get ready — Mr. T, The Barbarian Brothers, Charlie Barnett, Marsha Warfield, Max Gail, Bill Maher, Irene Cara … AND Gary Busey as Dell (he demanded the special “AND” credit).

Unnecessarily and inappropriately profane highlights include:

• Joe Mason — Barber for Hire, Foot for Popemobile to Run Over!

• The curious ’70s-turning-’80s phenomenon of R-rated PG movies!

• How false advertising worked for BUSTIN’ LOOSE, but failed for BLUE COLLAR!

• UNCLE TOM’S FAIRY TALES aka Richard Pryor’s THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED!

• Gary Busey does filthy toilet floor “intestinal yoga”!

• Mr. T pities the gimmick star who can’t crowbar “Just Say No” messaging into a filthy comedy about genuinely dangerous and reprehensible “heroes”!

• Pat Healy tweet-slaps Adam Baldwin!

• Timothy Carey goes to Hell — and Charlie Barnett drives him there!

• The profound impact upon young Mike McPadden of NEW YORK magazine critic David Denby’s one-line summation of ST. ELMO’S FIRE — i.e., “Directed by the brutally untalented Joel Schumacher.”

(Thank you to KINO LORBER for putting out BUSTIN’ LOOSE and D.C. CAB as Special Edition Blu-Rays!)

Crackpot Cinema: Ep #28 — PATRICK (1978) and PATRICK STILL LIVES (1980)

Give thanks! Actor, writer, director, funnyman, and comatose horror hero namesake PAT HEALY returns as the first-ever Crackpot Cinema Co-Guest-Host for a jarringly wide-eyed evaluation of the Ozploitation classic PATRICK (1978) and its utterly bughouse insane Italian rip-off/faux-sequel, PATRICK STILL LIVES (1980).

Patrick-Is-Ready-for-His-Handjob highlights include:

• The international plague of PSYCHOKINESIS!

• Frog snuff!

• Fireplace poker gynecology!

• The power of a properly aimed bottle-to-the-face to unleash PYSCHOKINESIS!

• Richard Franklin’s orangutan erotica opus starring Elisabeth Shue!

• The many faces that make up the face of PATRICK star Robert Thompson! We see Roger Daltry, Malcolm McDowell, Marjoe Gortner, Gerrit Graham, Mark Blankfield, Joaquin Phoenix, David Patrick Kelly (“Luther” from THE WARRIORS), and, of course, Marty Feldman. Who else ya got?

• PSYCHOKINESIS!!!

Crackpot Cinema: Ep #27 — Whatchoo Talkin’ ’Bout, Rainn Wilson

Rainn Wilson guests on Crackpot Cinema to marvel at Gary Coleman living in a train station locker and picking racetrack winners in the 1981 opus, ON THE RIGHT TRACK.

That’s right! RAINN WILSON! The once-and-forever Dwight Schrute/Bassoon King/Soul Pancake Yogi subjected himself not only to this curious farce about a homeless kid with psychic gambling powers, he also helps us suss out:

• Why 1981 is the ultimate year for Cinematic Crackpotica!

• The matchless excitement of vintage Fall Preview TV specials!

• ALL the words to the Kaptain Kool and the Kongs’ theme song!

• Norman F@¢&ing Fell!

• How frazzled, fractured Inner Child McBeardo might have prompted one co-host to rate ON THE RIGHT TRACK as a “Gary Coleman” rather than a “Gary Colon.”

And — PAY ATTENTION HERE — if you listen all the way through, Rainn makes a very special offer to YOU, our beloved Crackpot Public! (Get ready to tweet #OnTheRightTrack to @rainnwilson)

#crackpotcinema #crackpotcinemapodcast #rainnwilson #soulpancake #theoffice #basoonking #dwightschrute #dundermifflin #beetfarm #ontherighttrack #ontherighttrackmovie #chicagomovies #normanfell #maureenmcgovern #diffrentstokes #differentstrokes #garycoleman #siskelandebert #thekidwiththebrokenhalo #arnoldjackson #arnolddrummond #tweetOnTheRightTracktorainnwilson

Crackpot Cinema: Ep #26 —“Student Bodies” (1981)

Craft your horsehead bookends, watch out for gum on the steps, and DON’T drink Malvert’s prom punch! Crackpot Cinema is here to salute writer-director Mickey Rose’s bombastically brilliant slasher spoof, STUDENT BODIES!

Jenny Nixon of The Museum of Home Video busts out her finest paperclips and chalky erasers to join Mike and Aaron in discussing all things in the uproarious orbit of this first, best, and of funniest of ’80s horror parodies. Among our topics:

• Richard Belzer as Richard Brando as The Breather!

• Richard Belzer as Richard Belzer in CAFÉ FLESH!

• MTV’s Martha Quinn misconstrued as Prince Valiant in a Plum Sweater!

• Woody Allen convulsing over somebody talking through a rubber chicken!

• Why STRIPES should have been rated “J” — as in, “Light a J!”

• How choosy moms may choose Jif, but Cool Moms rent you FACES OF DEATH from Madman’s Video Vault!

• The kid who claimed, “STUDENT BODIES was so gross, it made a dog puke!” — and then Jenny’s dog proves it!

Crackpot Cinema: Ep#25 — Firesign Movie Theatre

Don’t crush that electrician on the bus, you bozo! Noise rock overlord Christopher Sienko joins Mike and Aaron for a triple feature of films created by and featuring surrealistic “head” comedy superstars supreme, the Firesign Theatre.

Opening short MARTIAN SPACE PARTY (1972) is a half-hour documentation of a live Firesign Performance that will positively snap your brain-stem. Feature one, ZACHARIAH (1971), is an “Electric Western” juiced on-screen by Don Johnson, the James Gang, and Dick Van Patten. Main attraction J-MEN FOREVER (1979) brilliantly jams overdubbed 1930s superhero serials (featuring Shazam as The Caped Mad Man and the Crimson Ghost as The Lightning Bug) into lunatic plot regarding rock-‘n’-roll vs. the square sounds of Lawrence Milk!

Crackpot Cinema: Episode 24—“The Legend of the Lone Ranger” (1981) with President David Goodman

Don your black masks, bizarre blue jumpsuits, and faithful companions this week as THE PRESIDENT joins us to discuss the retro-stinko disaster, THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER (1981)!

That’s right—Mike and Aaron are joined by DAVID GOODMAN, President of the Writers Guild West to suss out what went wrong (i.e., everything) with Hollywood’s nudnik nostalgia bore-bomb an inexplicably centered on the anti-charisma of one-and-done opposite-of-a-movie-star Klinton Spilsbury.

In addition, a sickly-looking horse plays Silver, Christopher Lloyd as Butch Canvendish inexplicably sports no mustache, the un-botchable “William Tell Overture” somehow gets repeatedly botched, and Andy Warhol weighs in on Klinton Spilsbury in the same manner he so memorably did Frankenstein and Dracula (i.e., awesomely).

Crackpot Cinema: Ep #23—“Pat Healy IS The Maniac Robert Mitchum!”

Actor, film fanatic, and profoundly committed “Robert Mitchum completist” PAT HEALY (CHEAP THRILLS, THE INNKEEPERS, COMPLIANCE) joins Mike and Aaron to take on two of Mitch’s most challenging projects—and they’re “challenging” in terms of any human being actually having to endure them. We did and we’re here to tell you all about it.

First up is the boxing kangaroo mega-bomb MATILDA (1978) starring Elliot Gould, Art Metrano, Mitch as a sportswriter, and, in the title role, some simp in a genuinely jarring, hunk-of-dung marsupial suit.

Then it’s BACKFIRE! (1995), an inexplicable straight-to-VHS parody of Ron Howard’s 1991 non-classic, BACKDRAFT. This time, Mitch plays Fire Marshal Marshall opposite Telly Savalas, Shelley Winters, Kathy Ireland, Mary McCormack, and Edie Falco as “Mom.”

Jawboning highlights include: Pat Healy dulcetly recites Matilda-penned poetry; Pat and Debby Boone put a milk-fed spin on “Lemon Incest;” Edd Kookie B. invokes his guru Troy D.; BACKFIRE star Josh Mosby dangles his white-chocolate deliciousness; and the Carol Connors who’s NOT Thora Birch’s porn star mom may actually be cooler than the Carol Connors who IS Thora Birch’s porn star mom (again: MAY be).

Ep 22: Alphabet City (1984) with Jonathan Hertzberg

Fun City Editions honcho Jonathan Hertzberg joins us to herald his new imprint’s maiden release—an astounding collector’s edition Blu-ray of Amos Poe’s ALPHABET CITY, starring Vincent Spano.

Hear all about Poe’s punk/No Wave roots; Spano’s range from OVER THE EDGE to the 1988 version of AND GOD CREATED WOMAN; the heinous allure of brilliantly art-directed East Village dope dens, both on screen and off; the incomparable ’70s porn knowledge of Vinegar Syndrome’s teenage-era Joe Rubin; and what’s next for Fun City (Jenny Agutter fans—which should mean everyone—prepare yourselves). Get that AC Blu here: http://bit.ly/ACbluray