Homicidal headcases hunt their heartthrobs in two early-'80s sagas of celebrity worship gone wackoid: the sanguine Lauren Bacall showcase THE FAN (1981) and the meaty German new-wave mouthful, DER FAN (1982).

It's all page-burners and potboilers when two behemoths of '70s lust literature turn the silver screen blue: Harold Robbins' THE BETSY (1978) and Sidney Sheldon's BLOODLINE (1979).

Don your most Herculean headdress, down any and all intoxicants within reach, and storm into our salute to the titanic extra everything-ness that is Elizabeth Taylor in BOOM! (1968), THE BLUE BIRD (1976), and THE MIRROR CRACK'D (1980).

Eat, drink, and explode miserable male bombast! It's Apocalypse Testosterone time as we mansplain LA GRAND BOUFFE (1972), PRAY FOR THE WILD CATS (1974), and I MELT WITH YOU (2011). Who will survive and what will be left of their male fragility? Nobody and nothing, that's who!

PRETTY BABY. BLUE LAGOON. ENDLESS LOVE. When contemplating "Brooke Shields movies," these leap to mind. Not here. Mike McPadden & Aaron Lee crack the pot with JUST YOU AND ME KID (1979), TILT (1979), WANDA NEVADA (1979), SAHARA (1983) and BRENDA STARR (1989).

Crackpot Cinema honors the dimpled-chin demigod that was Issur Danielovitch, aka Kirk Douglas, with a salute to four of his least-loved productions: MOUSEY (1974), THE VILLAIN (1979), SATURN 3 (1980), and TOUGH GUYS (1986). Find out what we "Dug More" and "Dug Less"!

The Episode That Glows in the Dark! Mike McPadden and Aaron Lee pratfall into Le Cinema du John Ritter with AMERICATHON (1979), HERO AT LARGE (1980), THEY ALL LAUGHED (1981) and SKIN DEEP (1989).

For the maiden voyage of the SS Crackpot, Mike McPadden and Aaron Lee reflect on their past as HUSTLER magazine pros with four films dedicated to the “men’s sophisticates” game: the decidedly non-obscure THE PEOPLE VS. LARRY FLYNT (1996), Steve Coogan in THE LOOK OF LOVE (2013), the documentary PORN KING: THE TRIALS OF AL GOLDSTEIN (2005), and the Don Knotts/Nat Hiken head-scratcher, THE LOVE GOD? (1969).