My guest in this episode is my good friend and former colleague, Scott Foster. Our heartfelt conversation covers Scott’s journey as a gay man, navigating family relationships, professional environments, and societal changes from the late 1970s to the present day. More specifically, we

This is an essential conversation about never being afraid to be who you are, and I am honored to have it with and in support of my friend.

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Highlights of this episode

💙Look how far we've come, socially. Even though the gay community still struggles today with acceptance and equal rights, we’ve come a long way since the late 70s/early 80s when Scott came out as a gay man. This was during the early AIDS crisis, and when some people thought being gay was a psychotic disorder. Today, we can find many environments where gay people are just people with their individuality, as we all are.

💛Navigating the family acceptance journey when you’re different. Navigating family dynamics can be tough when we talk about being different and/or in pain. Scott talks about the differences in how his parents responded, including the impact of his multicultural household, where his mother is Japanese and his father is American. While his parents were slower to accept him, his brother’s acceptance was immediate. Scott and I both know that genuine compassion and love for our family members are at the heart of acceptance within the family.

💙Make the ask to be accepted within your family. Sometimes, there is selective discrimination within families. For Scott, although his parents had experienced discrimination as a couple, marrying less than 20 years after World War II, they struggled with Scott and his relationship with another man. Similarly, I’ve struggled with acceptance from my parents, both the sexual abuse that I have experienced, as well as my interracial relationship. The solution: make the ask, perhaps as an evolving and ongoing conversation, for acceptance to find multi-satisfying and common ground.

💛Navigating workplace discrimination as a gay man… and for me, as a woman. In one career, Scott may have been one of those who helped to pave the way for today’s fight to uphold DE&I within law firms. In another instance, he found inclusivity at FTI Consulting, where I met and worked with Scott for many years. I’ve had very similar experiences as a woman, encountering glass ceilings and exclusive environments early in my career, but also discovered that same organization where my capabilities and contributions mattered more than my demographic statistics.

💙Authentic communication and making meaningful "asks" are crucial in the furtherance of inclusive workplaces. Find allies, both at your peer level and those senior to you. And find mentors. It’s one of the most potent and supportive types of relationships that you can have at work, both for career navigation, as well as honoring yourself and being your authentic self.

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