Connectedness

Ep 26: The Friendship Audit: How to Map Your Social Circle & Stop Feeling Drained


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Are you pouring energy into friendships that leave you feeling drained, obligated, or quietly lonely — even when your life looks full from the outside? You're not alone. In this episode of the Connectedness Podcast, we're doing something most people have never done: mapping their entire social ecosystem with intention. Inspired by evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar's groundbreaking research on how humans actually organize their relationships, we explore the concept of friendship circles — and why understanding which ring your friends live in can completely change how you show up for them (and for yourself).

In this episode we cover:✔ Robin Dunbar's circles of connection — and what they mean for your friendships today✔ Why the "best friend" label might be doing you more harm than good✔ The difference between a friendship that needs tending vs. one that has run its course✔ How to know if your energy is going to the right places✔ What reciprocity actually looks like in adult friendships✔ A simple exercise to map your own social ecosystem

This is not about cutting people off. It's about getting clear — so you can invest your heart in the right places and finally stop feeling guilty about the rest.

Referenced in this episode:📖 Friends — Robin Dunbar📖 Friendships Don't Just Happen! — Shasta Nelson 📖 Platonic — Dr. Marisa Franco🌐 We Should Get Together — Kat Vellos (weshouldgettogether.com)——————————————————————————————🌸 ABOUT FILLED CUPS & THE CONNECTEDNESS PODCASTFilled Cups is a community and connections brand based in Charlotte, NC, dedicated to helping people build meaningful friendships, find their people, and show up authentically in their relationships.The Connectedness Podcast drops bi-weekly and explores what it really means to grow, connect, and trust yourself — in friendship, community, and beyond.

Hosted by Fernanda Brasileiro — people development consultant, community builder, and founder of Filled Cups.——————————————————————————————📲 CONNECT WITH USInstagram: @filledcupsTikTok: @filledcupsWebsite: [your website]——————————————————————————————⏱ TIMESTAMPS0:00 – Introduction0:50 – What the friendship audit actually is (hint: not a purge)2:00 – Robin Dunbar's circles of connection explained4:30 – Why your circles shift over time — and why that's okay6:30 – Where is your energy actually going?9:00 – Needs tending vs. run its course11:30 – How to use this going forward13:30 – Closing reflection & questions to sit with——————————————————————————————#friendship #adultfriendships #loneliness #personalgrowth #friendshipadvice #connections #selfawareness #filledcups #connectednesspodc #robindunbar #meaningfulrelationships

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ConnectednessBy Fernanda Brasileiro