What if the thing you spent your whole life blaming yourself for was never a character flaw at all?In this episode of Connectedness, I sit down with Kathleen Long, founder of Coached by Kath and an ADHD life coach who spent over 20 years in education before being diagnosed with ADHD herself at 41. Kathleen coaches adults, teens, and families, and she brings a national board certification, trauma insight certification through NAMI, and two decades of lived classroom experience into every session.We talk about what it felt like for Kathleen to realize, decades into her career, that her brain simply works differently. She opens up about the grief that came with a late diagnosis, the years of being called too sensitive or too dramatic, and how rejection-sensitive dysphoria shaped her relationships long before she had a name for it.We also get into the emotional exhaustion of masking, how ADHD shows up differently in romantic relationships and friendships, and why so many people feel like everyone else got a manual for life that they never received. Kathleen shares how therapy, support groups, and small daily habits helped her unlearn shame and start rebuilding her self-worth from the ground up.If you've ever wondered whether your emotional intensity, forgetfulness, or sensitivity means something is wrong with you, this conversation will feel like the exhale you didn't know you needed.In this episode we cover the following: 00:00 Introduction to Kathleen Long 02:15 Realizing you have ADHD after 20 years in education 05:02 The grief of a late diagnosis 08:37 Rejection sensitive dysphoria and misdiagnosis 11:07 What masking really looks like day to day 13:22 How ADHD shows up in romantic relationships 20:47 ADHD and adult friendships 24:02 Self-esteem, self-worth, and "the manual nobody gave you" 29:34 Rebuilding self-love after a late diagnosis 36:01 What to do first if this episode feels like youConnect with Kathleen Long: Website: https://coachedbykath.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdcoachkath/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachedbyKathLLC/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathleen-m-long/Connect with Connectedness: If this episode brought something up for you, I hope you'll sit with it a little. Maybe it's time to look at your own story with a little more compassion or have a conversation with someone you love about what's really going on underneath the surface. That's what connectedness is all about.Please like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone you love.#ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDAwareness #ADHDCoach #ADHDRelationships #Masking #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #SelfWorth #ConnectednessPodcast

If you grew up with a narcissistic mother or father, you already know the confusion isn't really about one bad day or one hard conversation. It's a whole way of surviving that gets built into you before you even have words for it.In this episode of Connectedness, I sit down with Dr. Nzinga Cates, victimologist, licensed clinical mental health counselor, and one of the first researchers to center the lived experience of Black daughters raised by narcissistic mothers. She's also the author of What Happens in This House and Black Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, and she brings both her clinical expertise and her own healing journey into this conversation.I share more of my own story in this episode than I usually do, including what it looked like to set boundaries with my mother that eventually led to estrangement. Dr. Cates and I talk about what actually happens inside a narcissistic household, the roles kids get assigned (golden child, scapegoat, invisible child), how gaslighting and lack of privacy shape a child's sense of self, why so many of us don't recognize the pattern until our late 30s or 40s, and what it looks like to unlearn all of it as adults.If you saw yourself in anything we talked about today, I want you to know what Dr. Cates told me: you are not alone, you are not too sensitive, and you are not imagining things.Learn more about Dr. Nzinga Cates: Website: https://catescounselingandconsulting.com/ Books: What Happens in This House: A Memoir of Strength, and Black Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers: Healing the Wounds That No One Could See (plus companion workbook)Dr. Cates is also available to see clients through Headway:https://care.headway.co/providers/nzinga-catesTimestamps: 0:00 Intro [add timestamps once you finalize edit]Connect with me on socials: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fernandabrasileiro/https://www.instagram.com/filled.cups/If this episode meant something to you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Like, subscribe, and keep showing up for connection, including the connection you're building with yourself.

What happens when the life you built for 17 years falls apart overnight? Nicole Bright knows. She's the founder of the Nicole Bright brand, a strategic decision advisor during divorce, and a transformational speaker who helps high achieving women hold onto clarity, composure, and control during one of the most disorienting seasons of their lives.In this episode, Nicole opens up about the moment her marriage exploded, why she left with almost nothing, and how she had to rebuild her entire sense of self after years of losing her voice in a toxic relationship. We talk about the difference between coaching and advising, why she treats big life decisions like business decisions, and the three C's she now teaches other women: clarity, composure, and control.This conversation isn't just for women going through divorce. It's for anyone in a season of starting over, whether that's a new job, a new city, a breakup, or becoming a mother. If you've ever felt like you lost yourself inside a relationship or a role, this one is for you.We cover:- The moment Nicole's marriage fell apart and how she left within a month- Why she calls herself her own first client- The real difference between divorce coaching and divorce advising- How to make big life decisions using the same logic you'd use in business- Rebuilding your identity when it's been wrapped up in a marriage- Why "who are you becoming" matters more than "who you used to be"- Nicole's new collaboration with stylist Donna to help women feel like themselves inside and outConnect with Nicole Bright: Instagram: @nicolebrightofficial Facebook: Nicole Bright Official Website: https://nicolebright.com (grab her free clarity worksheet here)If this episode moved something in you, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Leave a review, subscribe, and keep filling your cup.#ConnectednessPodcast #DivorceRecovery #RebuildingYourself

Have you ever looked in the mirror and felt like the woman looking back at you didn't quite match who you've actually become? That is exactly where today's conversation begins.My guest is Donna Hundley, founder of The Designed Presence™ and also the founder of Curvy Chix Chariot, one of the nation's first mobile fashion boutiques for plus-size women. Donna spent over 25 years helping organizations align who they are with how they operate, and after being laid off in 2024, she realized that so many accomplished women were carrying that exact same kind of misalignment personally.In this episode, Donna gets honest about a moment many of us know all too well. She talks about being the woman everyone called "sunshine," the one who always showed up dressed and smiling, while feeling completely broken on the inside. We talk about what it means to honor your evolution instead of judging yourself for changing, how to figure out whose voice you are actually hearing when you look in the mirror, and why she believes identity always comes first and style comes second.We also get into her Presence Room experience, an intimate dinner gathering for women over 40 where phones are put away and real conversations happen, and why she believes so much of healing starts with raw and honest relationships between women.This conversation is a reminder that alignment is not something you find once and keep forever. It is something you have to keep coming back to as you grow and change, and giving yourself permission to be seen exactly as you are today might be one of the most important things you ever do for yourself.If this episode speaks to you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear it, and leave us a review wherever you're listening. It genuinely helps this little community grow.Connect with Donna Hundley:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedesignedpresence/LinkedIn: Donna HundleyWebsite: https://thedesignedpresence.com/Connect with Connectedness:Instagram @Filled.Cupswww.filledcups.comTimestamps:0:00 Intro2:08 What was happening when Donna first noticed the misalignment6:16 From Curvy Chix Chariot to The Designed Presence10:51 Why identity comes first and style comes second13:00 Where to start if you feel successful on paper but disconnected inside21:23 A moment of identity shift she witnessed in a client25:38 Inside the Presence Room experience29:38 Other ways Donna supports women and organizations32:11 Closing thoughts#PersonalGrowth #WomenOver40 #SelfIdentity #Alignment #ConnectednessPodcast

[TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains a brief mention of sexual assault. Please take care of yourself as you listen.]What does it really mean to "find yourself" after trauma? In this deeply moving conversation, I'm joined by Caroline Wienecke, author, entrepreneur, and storyteller behind the novel Finding You: Beyond Broken Pieces, a story of a woman who must learn to reclaim her voice, her identity, and her sense of wholeness after an unimaginable experience.Caroline shares her own healing journey with such honesty and courage — from the years she spent silently holding everything together, to the sleepless nights that eventually became the pages of her book. We talk about what it actually feels like to live through trauma while the world keeps moving, why healing is messy and non-linear, and why speaking your truth, even when it's terrifying, might be the most important thing you ever do.In this episode, we explore:Why trauma doesn't just change what happens to us — it changes who we becomeHow journaling and storytelling helped Caroline process what words alone couldn't expressThe surprising gift of vulnerability and why letting people in is where healing really beginsWhat to do when you feel stuck, isolated, or like you're just going through the motionsCaroline's one message for anyone who feels broken right nowWhether you're navigating something painful, supporting someone you love, or just curious about the deep connection between storytelling and healing, this episode will leave you feeling a little less alone.📖 Caroline's novel: Finding You: Beyond Broken Pieces🌐 Connect with Caroline: carolinewienecke.com | @carolinewienecke on Instagram & LinkedIn🎙️ Connectedness is a podcast about the relationships, experiences, and moments that help us better understand ourselves and each other. New episodes drop regularly — subscribe so you never miss one.💬 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it.📩 Connect with Fernanda: filledcups.com | @filled.cupsCHAPTERS:00:00 Trigger Warning00:20 Welcome & Guest Introduction01:53 Who Was Caroline Before Trauma?03:14 The Moment She Knew She Wasn't Living as Herself05:11 About the Novel: Finding You: Beyond Broken Pieces06:25 What "Finding Yourself" Really Means08:38 How Storytelling Became Her Healing11:14 How Trauma Reshapes Identity13:44 The Hardest Part of Healing Nobody Tells You16:31 Practical Tips for Getting Back to Living Your Life18:33 Why Speaking Up After Trauma Is So Hard22:20 Creating Safe Spaces for Difficult Conversations23:37 How Connection Shaped Her Healing Journey26:09 What Caroline Is Still Learning27:55 A Final Message on Healing, Courage & Connection29:15 Where to Find Caroline

Are the expectations you're carrying into dating helping you find love — or quietly blocking it?In this episode of the Connectedness Podcast, I sit down with Amy Schoen, a certified professional life coach and ICF PCC-credentialed relationship coach who has spent 20 years helping marriage-minded singles find lasting, committed love. And yes, she's been in those shoes herself. Divorced in her mid-30s, Amy hired a coach, did the inner work, and met her husband at 42. They've been married 24 years and are still going strong.We talk about something that doesn't get enough airtime in the dating conversation: the expectations we carry without even realizing them, and how they shape every connection we make.In this episode, we cover:The most common expectations Amy sees singles bring into dating (pacing, finances, time, family, and more)- How to tell the difference between healthy standards and rigid dealbreakers- The "must haves vs. would like to haves" exercise that helps her clients get clear fast- Why her clients tend to reach exclusivity within just 3–6 dates- What separates the singles who find great relationships from the ones who stay stuck- How to navigate online dating without losing hope (yes, the good ones are out there)- Why the real relationship work begins after you find the personWhether you're newly single, back in the dating world after a long relationship, or just feeling like something isn't clicking, this conversation will leave you feeling more grounded, more hopeful, and a lot more self-aware.Connect with Amy Schoen:🌐 motivatedtomarry.com▶️ YouTube: Relationship Coach Amy ShonneConnect with Fernanda & Filled Cups:🌐 filledcups.com📸 Instagram: @filled.cupsIf this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who might need to hear it. Like, subscribe, and until next time — stay connected to yourself and others, and keep filling your cup. 💜#DatingAdvice #RelationshipCoach #DatingExpectations #SingleLife #FindingLove #ConnectednessPodcast #FilledCups #MarriageMinded #DatingMindset #SelfAwareness #LoveAfter40 #HealthyRelationships #ModernDating #SingleWomen #DatingCoach

In this episode of The Connectedness Podcast, we sit down with Rita, founder of Simple Self-Care, to explore the powerful connection between self-care, stress management, mental health, and healthy relationships.After facing overwhelming stress, burnout, and thoughts of hopelessness while navigating the challenges of motherhood, Rita discovered that true self-care isn't about indulgence—it's about self-preservation.Together, we discuss:✅ Why self-care is NOT selfish✅ The hidden signs of stress overload and burnout✅ How stress impacts marriages, friendships, parenting, and community✅ Why you can't pour from an empty cup✅ Simple daily habits to reduce overwhelm and improve well-being✅ Journaling, movement, mindfulness, and practical stress relief techniques✅ The role of connectedness and community in healing and resilience✅ How to know when it's time to ask for helpIf you've been feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, disconnected, or stuck in survival mode, this conversation offers practical tools and hope for finding your way back to yourself.🌐 Learn more about Rita and Simple Self-Care:https://simpleselfcare.net📱 Join Rita's FREE Self-Care Text Club:https://simpleselfcare.activehosted.com/f/29Every Tuesday you'll receive a simple self-care mission designed to help you reduce stress and take better care of yourself—one small step at a time.🎧 Enjoyed this episode?Like, subscribe, and share it with someone whose cup may need refilling.#SelfCare #BurnoutRecovery #MentalHealth #StressManagement #Relationships #PersonalGrowth #Mindfulness #Wellness #Connectedness #Podcast

Have you ever looked around at your life and thought:"Everything is fine... so why doesn't it feel right?"In this episode of Connectedness, Fernanda sits down with life coach and founder of Uncompromised, Elinor Miller, for a powerful conversation about self-trust, people pleasing, boundaries, personal growth, and what happens when you've outgrown the life you've worked so hard to build.Elinor shares her own journey from feeling stuck in a life that looked successful on paper to helping women reconnect with themselves, stop abandoning their needs, and create lives that feel deeply aligned and authentic.In this conversation, we discuss:✓ Why high-achieving women often lose trust in themselves✓ The hidden danger of living a life that's "not bad"✓ How people pleasing disconnects us from who we really are✓ The difference between self-sacrifice and genuine kindness✓ Why wanting more doesn't make you ungrateful✓ Reparenting yourself and healing your inner child✓ How to stop seeking permission from others✓ Boundaries, relationships, and self-worth✓ Signs you've become disconnected from yourself✓ How to make major life decisions with confidence✓ The question that can change everything: Are you running toward something or away from something?One of the most powerful takeaways from this episode:"If you ever have to choose between disappointing yourself and disappointing someone else, your responsibility is to disappoint the other person."Whether you're navigating a career transition, relationship challenges, people-pleasing tendencies, or simply feeling called toward something more, this conversation offers practical wisdom and deep encouragement.Connect with Elinor Miller:Instagram: @elinormillerlifecoachWebsite: https://www.elinormillerco.com/Subscribe to Connectedness for conversations about personal growth, relationships, friendship, dating, emotional wellness, and living authentically.#SelfTrust #PersonalGrowth #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #WomenEmpowerment #SelfWorth #Relationships #Confidence #Healing #LifeCoach #InnerChildHealing #ConnectednessPodcast #PersonalDevelopment #Mindset #AuthenticLiving

What if caring for a plant could help you care for yourself too?In this heartfelt episode of Connectedness, Fernanda sits down with Veronica Leon, founder of Verde Tribe, plant coach, community builder, and creator of the wildly popular Plant Bingo events in Charlotte. Together, they explore the deeper emotional connection between plants, mindfulness, wellness, and personal growth.Veronica shares how growing up in Ecuador and watching her grandmother lovingly care for plants inspired her journey into entrepreneurship and plant wellness. From moving abroad to Spain to building Verde Tribe into a thriving community-centered business, this conversation is full of wisdom about slowing down, trusting yourself, and creating intentional routines that support mental health.You’ll also learn:🌿 Why plants can reduce stress and improve creativity🌿 How plant care reflects our emotional well-being🌿 Tips for beginner plant parents🌿 Common plant myths (including why you should NOT water orchids with ice cubes!)🌿 The story behind Charlotte’s favorite community event: Plant Bingo🌿 How Veronica uses plants to create mindfulness and connectionWhether you’re a plant lover, entrepreneur, or simply looking for ways to feel more grounded in everyday life, this episode will leave you inspired to nurture both your space and yourself.✨ Connect with Veronica / Verde Tribe:Instagram & TikTok: @verdetribeWebsite: https://verdetribe.com✨ Follow Connectedness:Hosted by Fernanda, founder of Filled CupsNew conversations about growth, connection, authenticity, and wellness every week.

What if the secret to better communication, stronger relationships, and more confidence isn’t perfection… but play?In this episode of Connectedness, Fernanda sits down with Dayna Gowan: speaker, improviser, Distinguished Toastmaster, workshop facilitator, and host of the Improvly Speaking Podcast. They explore how improvisation can transform the way we communicate, connect, and show up in everyday life.Dayna shares how improv helped her overcome fear, embrace uncertainty, become a more confident speaker, and develop deeper human connections. Together, Fernanda and Dayna dive into the powerful improv principle of “Yes, And," how listening is a communication superpower, why adults lose touch with playfulness, and how creativity can improve relationships, parenting, leadership, and mental well-being.This conversation is filled with practical insights, vulnerable stories, laughter, and mindset shifts that can help anyone become a more authentic communicator and more connected human being.✨ In this episode, we discuss:-How improv builds confidence and reduces self-judgment- The “Yes, And” mindset for relationships and personal growth- Why active listening matters more than having the perfect response- How improv improves communication skills and social confidence- The connection between creativity, play, and emotional well-being- Why brainstorming often fails in corporate environments- Parenting, public speaking, and handling uncertainty through improv- Finding joy and humor in everyday life- How improv creates instant human connection🎧 About Dayna Gowan:Dayna is the founder of Improvly Speaking, where she helps individuals and organizations use improvisation skills to improve communication, leadership, creativity, and confidence. She also hosts the Improvly Speaking podcast and offers workshops, coaching, and corporate training.🔗 Connect with Dayna:Website: https://www.improvlyspeaking.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daynagowanPodcast: Improv Speaking on Spotify & Apple Podcasts💛 If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who could use a little more joy, confidence, and connection in their life.Learn about the power of Improv to change your life!