While the range and scope of domestic violence cases are vast, each case displays the same kinds of dynamics, and fortunately, there are many resources where help can be sought. In today’s show, we study some of these common dynamics and also provide a comprehensive list of the different services available throughout the state of Iowa and beyond to victims in need. We begin by addressing the centrality of power and control in a situation of domestic violence, speaking about the notion of gaslighting, and how a victim is manipulated to feel responsible for their own abuse. The next common denominator is the phenomenon of cycles of violence, the reality that abusive situations play out in repeated beatings that gradually increase in intensity over time. It is important to have a safety plan in place to manage a situation like this, and Shari shares a few pointers for tactics a victim can use at home to try and dodge conflict as much as possible. However, at some point, the time comes when the victim of abuse might need to reach out and ask for help and this episode acts as a resource in that regard too. Shari shares many of the institutions across Iowa who make it their duty to care for people who have been abused. 

Key Points From This Episode:

• The central place that power and control have in the dynamics of domestic violence.
• Mind games or gaslighting a batterer will employ to convince a victim they are deserving.
• Another key element in domestic violence dynamics: cycles of violence.
• A metaphor of riding a bicycle uphill to describe increasing cycles of violence.
• Services and contact details available to victims of domestic violence in Iowa.
• A reminder that courts, police, shelters, and so on are all still open during isolation.
• Pointers for safety planning: strategies to manage domestic violence.
• Looking for somewhere in the house to be used as a safe place to avoid violence.
• Claiming space by learning to make stories up about tasks that need your attention.
• Finding a safe person to speak to and inform about your violent situation.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Shari Kastein — https://www.sharikastein.com/

Shari Kastein on LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shari-kastein-65754339/

Shari Kastein Email — [email protected]

Iowa Victim Service Call Centre — http://www.survivorshelpline.org/

Iowa Victim Service Call Centre Hotline — 1800 770 1650

Iowa Victim Service Call Centre Help Text Number — 20121

Family Crisis Centers — http://www.familycrisiscenters.org/

Council on Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence — https://csadvsiouxland.org/

Catholic Charities — https://www.catholiccharitiesdm.org/

ACCESS — https://www.assaultcarecenter.org/en/domestic_abuse/

Crisis Intervention Service — http://www.cishelps.org/

Helping Services — https://www.helpingservices.org/

Iowa Family Services — https://www.iowafamilyservices.com/

Children & Families of Iowa — https://cfiowa.org/

Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence — https://www.icadv.org/

The National Domestic Violence Hotline — 1800 799 7233