How can the thing that causes you so much pain, also be the same thing you can't imagine living without?
Breaking promises to yourself on the daily? Your not happy with the relationship you have with alcohol, but you are always giving in to your desires and can't imagine life without it? End the drama by making a choice to UNDERSTAND WHY this is happening.
This is a 100% normal, you or your brain are not broken. It is simply that you haven't practiced how to process emotions. Every time you have had a specific emotion in the past, subconsciously, you have responded with a drink.
You may not consciously KNOW, this is how you are solving for an emotion, and it doesn't even have to be a negative one.
The act of drinking isn't the problem. It is getting comfortable with first being with an emotion and proving to yourself that a drink doesn't change your circumstances, it just masks the emotion.

As a reflection for self inquiry this week:
What would your life look like without alcohol?
What benefits to you gain from alcohol that you aren't capable of creating your own?
When you have the urge to drink, or it's time to decide: Ask yourself: What emotion am I experiencing right now? What are the sensations in my body that it is producing?
To change anything in your life: You have to start making decisions you feel good about, that is the only thing that makes it "the right time".
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DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.