Vast and vibrant vistas. Crisp apple air filled with the sound of horny birds. There's a lot to love about our glorious American mountain tops. But the worst part? That one asshole hiker, who treks all over Mt. Shasta, checking their cell signal every 2 seconds, waiting to finally post their 1 star review on Trip Advisor: "MEH. I've had better."

That's the dark place Jess decided to take us. Also in today's episode, we rediscover Subway's old corporate slogan: You Only Get One.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain