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Ari Gronich 0:00  

Has it occurred to you that the systems we live by are not designed to get results? We pay for procedures instead of outcomes, focusing on emergencies rather than preventing disease and living a healthy lifestyle. For over 25 years, I've taken care of Olympians Paralympians a list actors in fortune 1000 companies, if I do not get results, they do not get results. I realized that while powerful people who control the system want to keep the status quo, if I were to educate the masses, you would demand change. So I'm taking the gloves off and going after the systems as they are. Join me on my mission to create a new tomorrow as I chat with industry experts, elite athletes, thought leaders and government officials about how we activate our vision for a better world. We may agree and we may disagree, but I'm not backing down. I'm Ari Gronich And this is create a new tomorrow podcast.

Welcome to another episode of create a new tomorrow. I'm your host, Ari Gronich. And here I have with me is Kimberly Spencer, certified high performance coach and founder of crown yourself.com Welcome to the show Kimberly toning a bit about yourself.

Kimberly Spencer 1:23  

Thank you so much for having me on re Yeah, I am the certified high performance coach. I'm the founder of crying herself calm, I specifically work with visionary leaders to help them build their empire and stand out authentically and serve serve you with their leadership. And it is my like it is my soul. Like that's like Solas and like the number one and Solas and like soul connection mission, that more good hearted, mission minded, purpose driven, conscious leaders are making more money so that we can seriously transform this planet. That is that is my big mission that because I truly believe that when more good hearted, mission minded leaders are making money that that is what can create the change. And so it's my it's my honor to be able to serve some of the amazing leaders and entrepreneurs that I've been able to help over the past four years. And it's been a very fun ride.

Ari Gronich 2:22  

Awesome, very cool. Why don't you tell us a little bit about your background, and what got you to this place.

Kimberly Spencer 2:28  

So my background was quite varied, it was very much from a place of following my curiosity, and exploration, I grew up with two entrepreneurial parents. So the entrepreneur gene is kind of like in my blood. But I watched my parents, from a very early age, my dad was an addict. And so I saw that struggle between the higher self and the potential of who he could be. And the addictive state of pharmaceutical drugs of non pharmaceutical drugs and of alcohol of all the things. And I saw the ability to recognize someone's potential very early on, and see someone when they're not living into it, or when they're making excuses for it. And I believe that we're kind of blessed with the children that we need to remind us of who we have been that was kind of programmed and stripped away from us. And I was always a very emotional child. I was big emotions, big feelings. And growing up that wasn't really praised. In my house, I saw my dad escape his emotions, my mom would suppress and repress hers. And so he there I was left with all these big emotions and not knowing what to do with them. And so it turned me into two things one a bulimic and to reading and writing in Hollywood, when I was 17, I got my first feature film produced when I was 20. And it was such a fun experience, being able to have that dream and have see my name on the up on the big screen. But I was surprised that when I was at the premiere, I was actually only 90% fulfilled. And it was at that time that two weeks later, after the premiere, I got a notification from a friend of my friend who came to the premiere because when you write a movie, you get extra tickets. And so she her son had come to the premiere and had seen the film and it changed his life based on the story. And the story was a very simple story. That was about a young kid who wants to fit in with the cool crowd. And he adapts himself into the high flying hard partying world of freestyle motocross to do so I didn't know anything about motocross at the time, I just researched it. Like most people are like wait, crowd yourself and freestyle motocross. I know. But that that experience of learning that something that I created, had transformed somebody's life and the story that they were living in And to some and made them want to be better and recognize their own possibility and their own potential. I was like that I want to do that I want to do more of that. At the time, in order to support myself in Hollywood, I was also transforming my own story with with my body and what was possible for my body because I became a Pilates instructor simultaneously. So I started out teaching Pilates, to support myself in my career in entertainment. And it was there that I saw that the power of the mindset, and I was surrounded by different types of clients training 10 hours a day, seeing all these different types of bodies. And it didn't matter whether somebody was technically overweight or technically thin, or technically ate healthy or technically didn't, what mattered was how they thought about their bodies. And what matters was how they thought. And those thoughts were reflected in, in their actions and in their habits. And it showed me the power of the mindset. And it was from that perspective, and that like little aha that I had, that I was able to shift out of being a bulimic into an entirely new identity of being transformed. I don't believe I'm recovered, I believe I'm transformed. Because the idea of going back to that old identity is so horrific that I would never want to go back. And so it was through that through Pilates, I was able to transform and eventually built, went into having my own private Pilates studio, I own an e commerce business where I was also transforming people's stories about the possibilities for their back pain. We were selling it bringing it back pain device to market. And then three weeks before I got married, my business partner told me he wanted to buy me out. And I was like, Okay, well, three months before I got married, and then we signed the buyout agreement three weeks before I walked down the aisle. I was on my honeymoon, wondering like, what the heck do I do now? And I was like, I love the body. I love writing. I love creating I love helping people. I've loved transforming stories. And I leapt off the couch and I said crown yourself and my husband's like, what's that? And I said, I don't know. But but it's the it's it's a holistic leadership. It's stepping into holistically claiming your power and reining your life and making choices from that empowered state. Problem was is that I was going through that buyout process made me it was the first time I'd ever had my integrity called into check or my capabilities called them to check and so I was very, very

stuck in the dungeon of doubt. And so for a year and a half, I dabbled in my business. I did all the things. I was always busy, I was always working on my computer, but I wasn't actually making any money. I was simultaneously teaching out of my Pilates studio and feeling really unfulfilled. And then I found out I was pregnant. And then that just changed the game. Within two weeks, I was driving to Vegas to go get certified in NLP timeline therapy and hypnosis because I knew that the problem laid with my mindset. And I saw that the parallel was between that and it was the same parallel that I had with my bank account. And my business was the same issues that I was struggling with 10 years ago with my body image and believe me, so I said, Well, I'd switched from being an actual bulimic to being more of a financial and business bulimic. And so I said, I know I've already shifted this once with just mindset alone, I can do it again. And I did and four years later, I've had the privilege of coaching some amazing, extraordinary leaders, and it has been a fun ride and now we live in the Gold Coast of Australia during a pandemic.

Ari Gronich 8:26  

That is, that's fascinating. How is it in Australia during the pandemic? I mean, I hear that they've been pretty shut down. Is that correct?

Kimberly Spencer 8:37  

That was Melbourne. So Melbourne, Australia and not Melbourne, where you are. And the Gold Coast where I live, it's back to normal like and my son can go to pretender. He can go hug children. We don't have any mask ordinances. Melbourne was the one that was really struggling. There's like no cases in Australia In Australia, right. There's very, very few and there's been no cases in Queensland for the past, like two months. So festivals are coming back. So I keep on trying to inspire my American compadres to be like, come on, it's like it's going to it's going to turn around, I promise you things will come back. Like I just saw a beer festival the other weekend. Like

Ari Gronich 9:26  

that's awesome. So, you know, let's kind of unpack some of the things that you said one of the things that you said that was fascinating to me is the bulimic for your body is blamed for your finances. which basically is a good metaphor for life in general where you know, the quantum theory of how you do anything is how you do everything. And so, tell us about that a little bit more kind of dig deep into what it is that made that pattern repeat itself after you had thought That you already took care of the pattern. Yeah.

Kimberly Spencer 10:05  

The the pattern really stemmed from that deeper subconscious belief of enoughness. And from deserving, and from, I mean, if you think of bulimia, I mean, what bulimia was, it was an emotional thing for me. So I didn't know how to process my emotions. So I would shove them down, repress them and then explode. And that was what I did with food. And so with finances and money, that's that was similar to what I was doing, I would take money and I would receive it I had, I was okay with making sales, but then it would just explode, and then it would explode beyond. And we got me into a nice portion of debt, it would explode beyond the capacity of what I consumed. And it was seeing that parallel of the beliefs of being enough and the emotions that were attached to it, so there's, there's an emotion that comes with receiving, but there's also an emotion that comes from having and nourishing. So a lot of the entrepreneurs that I work with, now, they have like money in money out like there's like there's the bills, they, they're able to do make sales and they're receiving money, but then it's immediately money out, there's no profit, there's no profit margin. And there's very little for them to take home personally. And so for me, what I saw was this, that there's an energy that comes around having money having food having having the ability to have something nourish you. And those that energy of having it comes down to a perception of deserving. And that perception of deserving. We all have what is called adjust world bias. And I've seen that high achievers in specific. They, they have this, like the just world bias, we'll see it played out in society where we'll see something that happens to somebody that's not fair. And so our toddler brains are like, we want we want to be able to like, understand it. So we'll blame the woman who gets raped because she was probably wearing a really short skirt and was asking for it because of her wardrobe. And we'll say ridiculous things like that, to try to make this on this illogical thing makes sense to us to make this world seen, quote unquote, fair. And so with high achievers, what I see is high achievers, and I'm a card carrying one have been since I was like five high achievers, we tended to put the blame on ourselves. So what happens when we're faced with this just world bias that we all have, or something happens to us it's not fair, that that feels funky. And that we feel like we might we feel like we must have deserved it, we must have deserved this bad thing to have happened to us, we must have deserved these bad feelings. And so we kind of punish ourselves and put ourselves down because of these emotions of what we perceive we deserve. And it really messes with that perception of what is it that we deserve. And so we try to earn our way to getting to what it is that we deserve. When really the concept of deserving is grace, it's being able to, to accept and receive grace. And it's being able to receive a gift and allow for that that ability to receive gifts from others, whether it's a gift of somebody's business, or the gift of somebody's money, but being able to receive that and then so it's it's, it's earned after it's deserved, like the actions that we take, we already deserve it because it was placed in our hearts, we already deserve it. Because we have that dream. We already deserve it because it's a desire that and and a vision that we've had, which means that somewhere out there in the quantum realm, it is possible for us to achieve it. So we already deserve it because we brought it we thought of it into our reality. Now, how do we go about taking the action steps to get us to that point where we are it actually is in our present reality.

Ari Gronich 14:09  

Gotcha. So let's, let's say what's the difference between deserve and entitlement? Hmm,

Kimberly Spencer 14:17  

good question. So, entitlement really comes from the ego is what I found is is an egoic belief of an eye like almost like an either or, like I see a lot of fear based beliefs of an entitlement is kind of like the perception that it's it's more of an egoic perception, it's more of an intention versus the intention of of deserving its grace combined with the desire to then put something out into the world to serve with it. That's what I've found is for me, that's just what I've been able to, to navigate with, with my own perceptions of deserving is desert, like everything that I desire to do or create in this world is ultimately to be of service in some way. Versus entitlement is kind of like an entitlement is also I see this reflected in like, Oh, I should have this now, I should have this. Well, you don't. So what's going on in the present moment that we can actually take ownership of entitlement is a lot of times here with so many shoulds and supposed to, like, I'm supposed to be farther along by now. I should have, you know, a family were like, why don't I have this right now? versus? Let's look at where we are. What are the beliefs that are that have me where I'm at right now? And then moving forward from that space, and then moving forward from the present? Because if you're moving forward from should you're not even at the starting line? You're on the outskirts looking in if like, Oh, I should be running that race? Did you get to mile one, did you cross the starting line? like did you get there, you have to go through all the steps to be able to run it, you're not actually in the race yet.

Ari Gronich 16:14  

Okay, so let's take it to one other word that came to my mind as you were talking is burden. There, there's a thing and I call it the healers burden, or the spiritual burden, where money seems to elude the people who are wanting to give the most. And I don't know that it's a belief necessarily, like money is bad, because I think that spiritual people really get the idea of an exchange of energy. But it's the burden of if I charged them too much, then I will be a burden to them rather than a benefit. Or if, if I need something, then I'm a burden to the people around me that rather than being a benefit to them, in some some respect, or even, you know, being giving a gift is a gift, right? But we rob people of being able to give to us, because we feel like that would be a burden. So let's kind of unpack that, because that was what popped up when you were talking.

Kimberly Spencer 17:26  

Yeah. So what what came up for me is, is ownership. And that is your own personal ownership is you are allowed to take 100% ownership for your life and your results. You're not allowed to take 10% of anybody else's ownership. You're not like you're not allowed to take the the burden of somebody else and say, Oh, well, like let me take ownership over that and then claim that as my burden. That's that's that's overcompensation of ownership. And it's actually it actually leads people into a spiral of of guilt, like massive guilt, versus taking ownership for like I have, these are the prices that I charge, these are the services that I offer. I call this this one money, mothering, when I see it show up at for entrepreneurs, is it's not my job to be that person's financial advisor for what is best for their life, it is my job to open the door to give them the possibility to give them the opportunity to say hey, if and if they see the value in it, then awesome. I have seen the value in programs that I'm like, I see the value in that not going to be investing in that right now. Versus I've seen the value in some programs where I'm like, I see the value in that I don't quite have the money for it. Like that's how I was when I first signed up for NLP timeline therapy, I saw the value in it. And then I felt this like desire that I knew that I would be able to figure it out, I needed some new tools. And so I knew that making that additional investment going and additional $5,000 into the already 30 5000s of dollars of debt that I was in going and that additional, I would be able to pull myself back out faster and farther with those tools and without them. And so that made the investment worthwhile. So when I see Oh, go ahead.

Ari Gronich 19:22  

So that's one level of burden. The other level of burden is I need help. And I can't ask for help because then I would be a burden. Hmm. Yeah,

Kimberly Spencer 19:33  

I see that one a lot with the with high achievers have the fear of asking for help asking for support. And that also comes down to a lot of ego because the ego is is either it's saying like I'm either too good, or I'm either like nothing and there's no gray area. It's an either or. So instead, how can you be perceive asking for support asking for help to actually be an act of service for somebody else. Because sometimes people are more excited to serve and to, to help and to lift each other up, I've just found this personally, then, then this perception of Oh, if I ask somebody, then they're gonna, they're gonna, I'm going to be a burden or it's going to, like, if you if you take ownership, and you set foundational ground rules in place, and you also hold those energetic boundaries and standards and say, like, you know, let me know, if I'm asking too much, let me know if I'm, if I've crossed the line at some point, like, let me know, otherwise, I'm going to keep asking for that support, or for that help to be able to get that support in that help. And if it's the other person's responsibility to be able to say, you know, this is actually going into what my paid programs do, or, you know, this is actually something that I normally charge for, it's the other person's responsibility to hold that boundary for themselves.

Ari Gronich 21:11  

Awesome. Give me a difference between weakness and vulnerability. Hmm.

Kimberly Spencer 21:19  

Sure, good question. Sorry, I like how you get really specific with the language. So vulnerability, I believe vulnerability is such an asset. But there is vulnerability when vulnerability when you get caught up in your own story, that can get to the point of where it becomes a weakness. So I'm all about I share very openly and vulnerably, about many of the things that I've experienced and gone through, but it's not from the place of either look at me and how bad or how great or my life is. And the weakness, aspect. weakness. It's, it's an internal compass thing. Like it's, that's something that you only you will know, is if you're dancing on vulnerability to the being into the weakness, like, so I will have to give an example. If I have something that I'm in process with, like, I'm feeling something, I feel an emotion, I'll be vulnerable with saying, you know, I'm feeling this thing. I don't know what it is that I'm processing, I don't know what it is, and I'm working through I know that I'm working through something. But I'll be vulnerable with sharing that a weakness for me would be repressing it suppressing it and pretending like it didn't exist, and then like, having it explode, and, and having me explode and be like, Oh, I'm fine. Everything's fine. No, no, no, no, it's not. So being able to say vulnerably, hey, I'm struggling with this, I'm experiencing this, let me go into this space that's coming. That's vulnerability from a place of strength. When it's a weakness or a trigger, that's something that I like to notice, like, I like to recognize when that is coming from a place of weakness, or that is coming from a fear of powerlessness or a fear of, or a trigger, or it's, it's hitting something that's really raw and personal. That's where I actually like write it down, like, Oh, this is this is one of my weaknesses. This is one of my triggers, and being self aware enough to know where that gauge is

Ari Gronich 23:24  

awesome. I had a conversation once with a guy down the street from me, and he was a military man. And he said, that you can't find pretty much anybody like on the block, right? That could put on a 70 pound pack and march for miles and miles and miles, because they just don't have the health and the wherewithal to do that. And so therefore, it becomes a weaker country, the less our health is. And yet our health care system is really designed not to make people well, but to keep them being treated for being sick. It's, you know, we call it the sick care system versus the health care system. You're a lot in that wellness sphere, especially having having owned a Pilates studio, and so on. So what do you think needs to happen in the world really, because it this is a global crisis, not just an American crisis, but what do you think needs to happen in the world to get people's mindsets on prevention versus reaction to health to whatever it is that's going on in them because we've become what I what I consider to be a very reactive society, versus a proactive society. You know, that works with prevention and making sure they're healthy people. For you get sick, etc, those kinds of things.

Kimberly Spencer 25:03  

I think we have to stop our addiction with fear. I think that that is the greater addiction that we have right now. I mean, you can get the end it prevents us from actually creatively thinking of solutions are finding something. So it puts us in a reactive state, it puts us in fight or flight. And so it's removing yourself from those environments or people that are stimulating and continuously stimulating that fear. And so for me, I, for me, I personally don't watch the news. I don't watch the news. I haven't watched the news and for years, sometimes, like it's on when I'm at the gym, but, and I watch it now from a very different perspective where I'm like, it's just like, death, trophy, drama, murder. And it's all like, it's all fear, fear, fear, you listen to it enough, and suddenly your Migdal is going on overdrive. And so it's really is pulling back from that addiction to fear because it prevents us from actually living with vision and, and and solution mindedness. Because we find solutions creatively in a different part of the brain. That's not the amygdala. So we actually have to physically move the location of where we are thinking in our brain, and it's not going to happen if we're if our amygdala is going fight or flight fight or flight fight or flight fight or flight. Right. And what happens is, is also our nervous system, Oh, go ahead.

Ari Gronich 26:34  

Yeah, let's just define megillah for those who don't know that, it's the reptile brain. So that's for that, you know, because we don't want to just to industry terms, so just kind of give a explanation of what that is, and what it what its function is.

Kimberly Spencer 26:53  

So our amygdala is our it's the, it's the reptile brain, it's, it's the one that's got us on fight or flight. So it's, it is built into our biology. And it serves a purpose if we're running away from a saber toothed tiger, it really serves like, and what happens is, is to our nervous system is when we face that stress, when we face that stress, that fear, that suddenly is like I'm in danger, our brain cannot recognize whether it's like fully physical danger, or emotional danger, it's the same, it registers the same. And so what happens is, when our body goes into a stressful state, or blood becomes more thicker, so that if we were, you know, attacked by a saber toothed tiger, then our blood will be able to coagulate faster, we get a bad taste and a bad odor. Actually, if you get like, you can get bad taste in your mouth, or you can actually like start smelling you missed it like if you may start smelling a bit more you can it causes your esophagus to basically not your peristalsis in your in your, in your gut, it's stops really digesting because you don't need to digest your food if you're going to be the food. So you got to run, if your body tries to do everything that it can to store the energy so that you can run away in that fight or flight space. But what happens is, is when our nervous systems are in this fight or flight response, eventually, our sympathetic nervous system can only run so far and so fast. And eventually then our parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest and digest part of our nervous system, which you can actually physically train through Pilates, through yoga through Tai Chi, through just even you can train it through just some deep breathing with an inhale and a longer exhale. It felt so good, like, literally take three breaths like that, and you will already have activated your parasympathetic nervous system. But your parasympathetic nervous system, it's your rest and digest. And then it also has this other function, it's called freeze. And you'll see this in the wild. When an animal it thinks that death is imminent. And immediately it'll just drop, it'll just completely drop, it'll go lifeless, because just in case the predator chooses not to devour it's meal at that point, it gives that that animal playing dead, a few extra minutes to be able to then regain play dead and then maybe go to safety again, maybe go back into that fight or flight, if it's not consumed. That freeze also produces a rush of endorphins in our body that so that if we're, you know, pierced by a saber toothed Tiger that we're not actually going to feel as much pain. But what happens is, is when we're in this, it's a traumatic cycle for our nervous system. A fight or flight and then freeze is it. It we lose our natural oscillatory rhythm that can happen. That is part of nature nature oscillates, we have day and tonight we have ultradian rhythms that flow is about every 90 minutes. We just have that natural ultradian rhythm throughout the day. Our our heartbeat, it oscillates, it's not flatlining, flatlining is bad. So, when we, our nervous system is supposed to oscillate to the fight or flight is not a bad thing, it's necessary. Like if you're if you're you're fighting the fight or flight gets stimulated, if you're, you know, going to go kick, that goal, that winning goal and your soccer team match, it gets activated when you're going to give that presentation and it gives you that like, little boost of energy to give give a little bit more energy to that, that presentation in the board meeting or a zoom meeting now. But that so it's necessary, but it's also necessary for us to have the oscillation back into the rest and digest. And so when we're in this space of, of constant fear stimulation, it's spinning our nervous system into a space of constant and consistent trauma where we're in fight flight freeze. And that cycle, that traumatic cycle can actually cause depression, it can cause heightened anxiety can cause chronic fatigue and cause all sorts of emotional and physical problems in the body. And so I think the biggest thing to our healthcare system is stopping the addiction of fear, and the perpetuation of continuous fear and instead perpetuating hope and solution focus.

Ari Gronich 31:25  

Gotcha. So, you know, fear in the body, according to Chinese medicine is kind of gut right? It's not, it's not like worry would be in the kidneys. And anger is in the liver. But fear is in the gut, when when somebody is scared of something, or they have a gut instinct to go that way instead of that way. It's that signal saying, Oh, I feel it here. I've got to react to that. And it's a natural response. Yeah. Right. So how do individuals regulate that in themselves, some tips and tricks, and then also, how do we get society back on a track where we're not antagonizing that response to the point where there is no oscillation, it's just kind of like this graph that just keeps going up and up and up, and up and up. And there's an explosion, right.

Kimberly Spencer 32:35  

So to start with, some tips and tricks are to practice any form of exercise or breathing that activates the parasympathetic nervous system, Pilates, yoga, tai chi, chi gong, these are all forms of exercise, that when you're doing the exercise, they have a, your your, the breath is a key element in all of them. And you can take that breath. And this is actually how I went from being an exercise induced asthmatic at a time where I couldn't run a mile to save my life, to now being able to have run six marathons, because I took the breath that I learned from Pilates, and I applied it into running. So now I activate my parasympathetic nervous system, even as I'm in a sympathetic, doing a sympathetic form of exercise, which is the long distance running, well running to start, and then it eventually kicks into that parasympathetic, because the gotcha has initially the sprinting is more fight or flight, activating. So doing those forms of exercise, taking moments in the day to breathe, taking moments in the day to practice that. That sympathetic activation where you take a longer inhale, if you count on your hand, you can count in your hand for the count of five, for an inhale for five, and then do an eight to 10 count for an exhale, within literally like three to five breaths, you will feel a sense of peace, a sense of rest, a sense of, of release, I also do and I'm getting certified in breath work, which is used specifically for trauma release. So and that is a tool that I found to be super powerful, where you're using the power of activating sympathetic activate activation breath, and then being able to translate and oscillate back into parasympathetic breath so that you're able to actually reprogram that and release the trauma out of your body and in and just release it. Because what happens is our body remembers this, like, the stuff that we've been through our mind will is very kind. And our subconscious mind will repress things that we're not fully ready or that are too overwhelming emotionally for us to process. But our body does remember and so that's why, even if like you see somebody and you suddenly get this like gut instinct and your body reacts and you're like, this doesn't make sense, this person was just like walking right past me. But you get this like gut response in your body, your body will respond because your body's still emotionally recognizes that your body still sees it. So working doing body work is really key. Yeah,

Ari Gronich 35:10  

we call it the issues that are in the tissues. And I do some pretty intense, highly unusual deep tissue emotional release bodywork, but I do it with that includes breathwork, one of my close friends is, was one of the five founders of rebirthing, which is an amazing breathwork technique that was developed by Leonard war, back in the 60s. And so I've had a lot of experience with that. But I've added an element that's highly controversial, which is psychedelics, to process. And I find that you can get so many more of the issues out of the tissues than say talk therapy alone, or, or hypnosis or just body work without without that intention. But you know, that's a it's a really powerful technique. breathwork in general, is very powerful to calm your system. I know that the Navy SEALs us box breath, which is five seconds in hold for five seconds, five seconds out, hold for five seconds, five seconds in, right. So it's it's literally done, that's what they use in the middle of war time, or battle, because it calms that adrenal response in the system. You know, it's pretty cool. So how about how about society at Whole, as a whole? You know, what are some of the things that you've seen that you think that society should think about doing government's, you know, the people who make policies and things like that, in order to help people's immune system help people's adrenal glands and help them be more home? And what's the effect that you think that that'll have if we got back to some of that more connected, breathing, connected way of being versus always in flight or fight or flight? Mm hmm.

Kimberly Spencer 37:20  

So there's a really powerful question that I think everyone should ask themselves. And that's what if I'm wrong? So often, our cognitive bias is going to want to just find that information that just backs up what we already think we know, versus allowing ourselves to question and explore and learn and grow. And so what if, what if I'm wrong thinking, you know, about COVID? In this one way, or thinking about mass in this one way? What if I don't like allowing for and taking, taking the emotion out of the question of like, taking being wrong personally, because that's, there's a concept from the 15 commitments of conscious leadership, that is one of my favorite books on the planet. It's a very simple principle. It's just asking, Are you above the line or below the line. And if you're above the line, then you're operating from a place of openness from learning from growth, if you're below the line, you're operating from a desire to be either right, or a fear of being wrong. And so often, a lot of our society, I think a lot of the problems in society right now are coming from that either desire to be right, or that desperate fear of being wrong of our ego from our egos. So allowing ourselves to ask that question of like, what if I'm wrong about this perception of you know, what we're doing in our country? Or what if I'm wrong about the COVID vaccine? Or what if I'm wrong about this, consuming this fast food do on a daily basis? Like, what if I'm, what if I, what if these habits, what if I'm wrong? And then what if I change them? Like, what if I just experimented, what if I just allowed yourself to get curious, I think that that's something that we've lost. I think that's something that kind of our systemic, or Victorian age educational system is kind of drilled out of us Is this love of curiosity, versus a learning what to learn rather than how to learn? And that ability to to question and get curious and ask those questions that may, you know, stimulate some different answers may stimulate some answers that not everyone is comfortable with. But at least it's opening up a dialogue instead of holding on to these two polar opposites that are thus just constantly repelling each other. But they're that they're they're repelling each other but also they're attracting each other because they they're the exact Same Day, like, the desire to be right and the fear of being wrong. Same thing.

Ari Gronich 40:06  

Right? So you and I both have children. And my seven year old is very, very curious. And he asks a lot of questions. And sometimes I want to answer the questions. And sometimes I don't want to answer the questions because I'm a parent. And I have that, right. So instead of telling him something about him asking the question, I asked him, Why do you want to know that? What's, what's the information that concerns you in this particular thing, especially when he's asking question about something else? Or somebody else? Or, you know, that has nothing to do with him? It's just his way. And he always says to me, I'm just curious, dad. I'm curious. And when was the last time you heard an adult? Say that? was just if you're in the audience, when was the last time you remember saying that? I'm just curious. I just want to know, I? It's not very often right. You're, I'm sure your child does the same thing. Right?

Kimberly Spencer 41:15  

Yeah, I mean, he's a little, he's a little younger at three. So he's, he's figuring his way out in the world. And it's such a beautiful, like, he inspires me so much every day, because it's like, he has such a unique personality. And I look at like, you know, if he were blessed to any other person to be a parent, they may want to program some of that personality out of him. Like not every dad would be okay with their son saying they want glitter nail polish at three, to match with his girlfriend that he has, which he has to like, but I'm like, that's, that's cool with us, like we have like, that's cool. Let him express himself. He likes Clary. He knows that mommy likes glitter. Like, that's my favorite color. So but that's, it's allowing him to have that freedom of expression and that freedom to really find out who he is. I'm not trying to define who he is, he certainly is a leader, I can definitely tell you that. He has his opinions of how things are done. But that's it's it's a beautiful quality to be able to see the the Curiosity I watched him play. And I look at how often as adults, so often, we take things so seriously. And we're stuck in this, like, it's serious because it's business or because it's money or because it's, you know, our relationship, and it has to be this serious thing. Whereas really, like when you learn the most, it's when you're a kid, it's when you're a toddler, and you're learning through play. And you're like, when I watched my son learn how to walk. I got to see this beautiful, this beautiful experience of failure multiple times. And him not shaming himself for it, him not getting upset with himself for it. him just going Oh, okay. And he surrounded himself with people were that was normal, because everybody else around him was walking on two legs. So how often are we doing that where we're making curiosity and play seem normal? Or are we surrounding ourselves with people who make being very serious, and this is a professional matter, and we put these labels and have to be this buttoned up thing? To end that's how we should be doing life in business and whatever, versus allowing for that sense of play, allowing for that curiosity that comes with play and the discovery process that comes with it. And I think that that discovery process of just asking yourself removing the ego, and asking yourself, what if I'm wrong? Then awesome. It allows for you to play with other options and then to see okay, is that one that I like? Is that one that feels good for me? Is that one that feels right for my body? Is that one that feels right for my family? Or is that one one that doesn't feel a lot like when I when we chose to stay in Australia in in March in the middle of a pandemic? I had many of my family come at me saying that it was foolish and stupid and I was being reckless and I said you know, okay, what if I'm wrong about this decision, and I checked in with my gut and my gut said with 100% certainty staying is the best choice that we could make. And my husband is able to now fulfill his dream and go to chef school. My son can be an actual school and hug children and not have to wear a mask like you would at you know be in back in Los Angeles because I don't know how you get a toddler to wear a mask like my girlfriend is able to do it back in California alone. Girl praises because like, my kid would be like, Oh, no, this is not happening. So but it's, it's like it was a it was a decision that was based on my assessment from my gut and knowing with certainty and trust lie in my own body. And I think that that's something that as a leader that we can cultivate is where to certainty and trust, like we know where fear is, but where to certainty and trust lie in your body. When you feel certainty and trust when you feel that deep inner knowing that this is the right decision that I need to make for for me, and then being okay with asking yourself what if it goes wrong? What if it like looking, allowing yourself to dance with the plan A to dance to dance with some additional strategy of like, Okay, if this is not the right choice, what if this, what if this goes wrong, playing with that, but removing the ego, removing the identity of having it be a failure thing? I know that was a very long winded way of answering

Ari Gronich 45:58  

it. So it's all it's all good. You know, I like to brag about my son a little bit, he's got five businesses, he's seven years old. And he had we took him out of the school, and are homeschooling him, because even the virtual school, he wasn't getting the, you know, the kind of attention needed. They were doing, working with the class that was inside the school, as well as those that were online. So their attention was smooth. And, and one day, his teacher asked him, you know, or asked, in general, like how everybody was feeling how everybody was doing. And he said, I'm frustrated and angry. And the teacher said, Well, why are you frustrated and angry? This is a seven year old mind you who's saying these words, right? He said, I have five businesses, and you're not teaching me how to work with any of them. And so, you know, think about that, and I go, Okay, so you know, I mean, he's been around his mom and and an eye for his whole life. And she's a business consultant, and so on. And we've taken him to business trainings his entire life since he was born. And so his perspective on life is totally different than somebody who hasn't had that experience. But my question to you would be, when are you going to get your kid into his own business? Because you know, he's three he's fallen behind.

Kimberly Spencer 47:35  

Oh, he already has three currently here. Oh, he just added another location to his virtual restaurateurs restaurants. So he's, he's got two locations, one in surfers and one he has an ice cream truck he has he's got he's got seven currently his his profit margin is invisible money that he then gives back to me, which he knows where the money comes from. So but he's, he's like, instilling that spirit is so essential, like, and I love the fact that we've taken our son to business conferences, since he was born pretty much like he was in utero when I was going through NLP. So I'd say technically, he's a certified coach as well.

Ari Gronich 48:22  

Absolutely, he's got it born and bred inside of him. And he's gonna have the epigenetics of experiencing that on a regular basis from you. So, you know, it'll be embedded, I believe that the children are our future, right. And I say that as because it's a song. But what I mean by that is, I have a lot of hope for maybe not this neck, this generation, but our kids generation, create a world that's different. And I wanted to ask you a question, because you're in Australia, and you're from the US and so many businesses are starting to go Nomad. And my question to you is, is the new world order so to speak, or trying to have a one world government or One World Without Borders, so to speak? Is that such an awful thing? Because it seems to have such a huge reaction to it. But I'm looking at the world in the generation that's coming up and people aren't going to be stuck in a building for 40 years in one chair and one building desk, you know, with the same people for the next 40 years, people are starting to travel and become nomadic business people and the whole border issue. It's just very fascinating to me, because you're a marketing person. And so you know, you have the ability to travel the world and explore and I believe that exploring the world is what brings us a new mentality versus our little echo chambers, right? So let's kind of unpack a little bit of I like solutions to the world. So how do we create a new world that has all those nomadic travelers where the borders aren't so like, you can't come in and you can't come in, and we don't like you, you know, like, everywhere I've ever gone, they always have what I call the you know, because it's the US I called the Mexicans, right? Because we always say the Mexicans are coming in and taking our jobs. When I was in Greece, it was the Algerians, the algae are coming in, or the Albanians, they were coming in and taking our jobs. Every country has those people, every country has that. Yeah, every country has that. And so to me, Australia,

Kimberly Spencer 50:47  

they have it here too, like I one of our friends is in Australia is a winemaker and saw the He's like, you know, Australian teenagers, they don't want the Australian, because we can't literally cannot find an Australian worker to do the work that the Vietnamese will do, or that an Indian worker will come over here and do because they'll get it done faster, like an Australian will don't, they may get it done. But he just said that he's not finding that he finds that the immigrants are actually more desirous of those those harder labor jobs in some ways. So as far as the digital world is concerned, I mean, I don't know if it's such a bad thing, but I do. But I do know that any sort of new world, there has to be a foundation of the values. And I think that's the difference in all the countries currently they have it China has very different values in the US, Australia has different values in the US,

Ari Gronich 51:51  

isn't it? Is it the people that have the different values or just the government? Because I think

Kimberly Spencer 51:57  

I think the people to really, and it's not that one country's values are good or bad or the other, but it's just they're different. So like, let's say America, people value, very highly freedom. Whereas if you have another country, that very values very highly safety, that's going to be a conflict of values. If if you're if you're seeing for people who feel like their freedom is being taken away for the sake of safety, versus people who feel like they would rather they would give their freedom away for the sake of safety. So that's, that's a, that's a mismatch of values. So it would come down to how do you organize 7 billion people and to having aligned values?

Ari Gronich 52:45  

Right, so I don't think that, okay, so I'm just gonna put this out there, I don't think that we need to have individuals with the exact same values, I think, yeah, well can experience safety, and some people can experience you know, freedom. And they can choose that. here's, here's where that question really comes from, though. I was in Israel, and I found that the people of Palestine and the people who were in that country lived amongst the Israelis, very happily, they, you know, different religions, different belief systems, different everything, and yet they lived pretty comfortably together. Always that small faction that is pretty well government or, or a centralized leader that is trying to cause the havoc, right, whether it's Israel, government, or Palestine, government or US government, I have always found when I really dig deep and look at things, that the government has an agenda that is completely different than the people. And the people pretty much all want the same things, which is they want their families to be safe. They want to have the ability and to be able to express themselves freely. And so the safety and freedom is in every one of us not. Obviously, it's more in some than, you know, it's like balancing thing, but I don't find that it's entire countries that want the same thing. It's the government of the country that says this is what's important to us, despite what might be important to the people that they're governing.

Kimberly Spencer 54:40  

Yeah, I could definitely agree with that. I've definitely seen that play out in both America. I've seen it play out in other countries to have the narrative that is being told the and for me, seeing hypocrisy in in the narrative. The people in the government in different places in the government, not really abiding by It or Not really, ultimately believing it or there being some sort of agenda. Like I could definitely say that they're like, it's like, I remember when I was 10, I wanted to be president. And now there is not a job that you like, I could want less. Because the, the idea of creating this identity, that is the sellable identity that you can sell, sell them that that's what it is. It's a persuasion. Our elections are a persuasion battle. And that's what sales is. persuade people to buy into. And it's fascinating because I see these messages. They're very similar. But it's it's the the more chunked up you go, the greater agreement that we're all going to get, like, we all can agree that we all want hope we all want change. We all want safety. We all want freedom. We all want greatness. And the more you chunk down into the details, it's definitely there. You can see that's where people start to split. And that's where divisiveness happens. And I'm just yeah, I'm not the biggest. I definitely am. I am aware that there are some people who are in power that want to stay in power. And that's something to to be aware of, and that there are some people who are making a lot of money right now, who wants to continue making a lot of money right now. And I love making money. But it's looking at what is what is the intention? And what is the what will be negotiated for that. And that's why I think that as more good hearted mission minded, service based leaders start to make more money. That is when we can definitely see a change in in the world being more accepting and more empowering of each other and empowering of each other's health and empowering of, of each other's choices. Rather than I'm right. You're wrong.

Ari Gronich 57:33  

Yeah, you know, it's funny, I posted something on a site recently. And it was just me literally saying, I'm really interested in having a party for the holidays with this group of people, this kind of party is like fire dancers and, you know, some Burning Man is kind of party at my house. And I was like, would anybody be interested in that? And the post, eventually taken down after about 130, some odd comments, some people yes. And some people just were like, calling me names, like, Oh, you believe in eugenics and you're trying to kill people and your was a plan a pan demick rat or something like that a disease out in like, thinking that this is what I'm what I'm about, I'm like, you have no idea who I am. I didn't even say anything. Like I'm having a party. I was like, I'm really interested in this. Would anybody else be interested in it too? You know, and it was just fascinating the experience of going through such intensity of belief. And yet, no one asked me a question of what it was that I was thinking, like, Are there going to be masks? while you're in, you know, like, you're an adult, you can wear one or not, you know, it's at my house. I don't have the restrictions of a business right as just like, but there wasn't a whole lot of curiosity, there was just a lot of blame and a lot of shaming and a lot of, you know, tearing down, and I found it really interesting because in the name of that particular group is the word love. And the I found that the people really weren't expressing the love, you know. So it was just really fascinating and interesting to me, how closed minded and inside of a bubble and unwilling to hear even a fact or to acknowledge that effect is a fact. You know, like a mask that you wear, like a cloth mask, I think it filters to something like 10 microns, and a viruses point oh one microns. Approximately, and so one is smaller than the other, and it can probably go through and it's not going to, you know, that mask isn't going to probably do much for you. And so, you know, that's like a fact and people can't get grasp the fact that that's the fact. There's no opinion there. There's no possible other explanation there. It's just, that's the fact there's, I didn't put a commentary,

Kimberly Spencer 1:00:24  

right? It's the emotion, their emotion didn't agree with your fact. So that's and that's the thing is when we're when we're driven and charged by these emotions of fear, and, and blame and guilt and shame, when we're charged by these, and the internet is a very, very safe place to be charged by emotion. Because you're not going to get punched in the face. Like you're most likely someone is, you wouldn't people are saying things that they wouldn't actually say to your face, like my husband, because he's has a bit of a following in and some fan base in the anime and voiceover world. He's heard some really gnarly things said, via Twitter, about him like him, and unlike, you know, like, people wishing the horrible things and I was like, they don't even know him. They like if they, it would some it's something that somebody wouldn't have enough courage probably to come up and say due to someone's face. And and people are very easy to be offended. Right now. I think we have a culture that's that's not really allowing for communication, where we're more interested in speaking, than in listening. And I think that our communication breakdown is something that is a massive issue. Culturally, that is something that does need to be addressed as to how to communicate, how do we actually communicate? How do we communicate from a place of empathy? How do we communicate and connect? How do we communicate and disagree with someone, like, I've been friends with people that I have disagreed with my entire life, and I love them dearly. And we have differing opinions, and that's okay. And I know that like they would, they would come to bat for me, or they would come help me if I needed it. Like, and we disagree on things. And that's okay. But we've gotten into this very like with, especially with online, and especially with social media platforms being the only place that we can really gather as a giant group right now. We've gotten very tribal about our communication. And if somebody doesn't, is not a part of this, like communication tribe of all the things that we believe and all the emotions that we share, then we excommunicate them, then they're out of our tribe, and then we just cancel like this canceled culture is, is what is hurting our country and the world. And it's, it's canceling out someone's opinion, just because they disagree with you. I mean, at some point, somebody is going to like, it's the same as canceling somebody's opinion, because you like minty toothpaste, and they like strawberry. Like, that's an opinion. It's that that's just as much a belief as any other belief.

Ari Gronich 1:03:23  

It's all about the watermelon.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:28  

That's not my jam. I'm a minty toothpaste, kind of girl.

Ari Gronich 1:03:32  

My son, we get him the Tom's watermelon. Anyway, let's get on to more happy talk like marketing tips, entrepreneurship, success, you know, those kinds of things. We don't have a whole lot of time left. But I wanted you to be able to get into that. Because, like you said, your passion is really all about helping heart centered leaders become wealthy. So how do you do that?

Kimberly Spencer 1:04:02  

Well, it starts with vision. And the foundation of your empire is really the values that you stand on. And for, for me, I work with a lot of former people pleasers who have really good hearts, and who are and who really want to serve, but they have struggled with people pleasing or the desire to be needed. And so they make their business an entity in which they are needed that then is their business is then a vessel that is controlling them, which is going directly against the reason why they started their business, which was freedom. So getting very clear on the foundational values of your business of what is it that you want to create? What is it that that you bring to the table? What is it that really sets the foundation and when you're clear on your values, these values will guide who your customers are, who you're who your team is that you hire. It's an it sounds like I had one client, she was like, she'd been running a successful business. And she wanted to get her million dollar year in a year. And she, she was like, she's like the value stuff. This is like life coaching 101, Kim and I was like, just go with me on this, just trust me, turned out to be one of the most transformational parts of her business because she realized she was in a business that was not in a line, she was in a partnership that was not in alignment with her highest values for why she created the business. And she eventually had to buy a her partner. And then she ended up hiring two team members, which I was so proud of hired two team members in a pandemic and a recession created jobs because of her values. Because her vet, she led with her values first. And the people that she attracted, bought into those values. They said, Yes, I want to be a part of this company. Because this company stands for something being these wishy washy companies that don't stand for anything when people are like, well, you're just another like what influencer on Instagram, like, what do you stand for, like posting, like, here's an inspirational quote that I found on a Lululemon bag, that's not really building a transactional business, versus having very clear cut ties and being able to enunciate and repeat and consistently preach those values, like my primary value is ownership, ownership period. That is how it is, is in our value statement. In crowd yourself, it's ownership period of take ownership for our actions, we take ownership for our lives, we let our customers take ownership, because sometimes, you will come up into a situation where maybe a customer wants a refund, and that refund is outside of the refund guarantee. And it's your job as a leader to say no, these are these were the boundaries, it's your job as a customer to take ownership of the commitment that you made to participate in this program. And to abide by these rules. If you don't like them, I'm sorry. But you need to take ownership for your actions just as much like that, that in it of itself. It's tough love, but it's what we're we're kind of missing a lot. And that's something that I love bringing to the table. And fortunately, I don't have to do that very often. Because I attract a lot of clients that have ownership is a very high value. But setting that foundation and then being able to communicate that found that those values, being able to preach them being able to preach them in your marketing in your internal messaging, and being able to constantly reiterate that those are the values that you stand for. And you can also have things that you stand against, like I'm very clear that I stand against negative Nellies and Debbie downers. And like I can get on the topic that I'm like about certain things that I disagree with, but I'm not going to pull myself down into like a negative state, because I have such immense hope for the world and such and I believe was such possibility, I cannot be a mother and think that I'm not leaving a great world for my son, like I that is not within my realm of belief system, that I will even allow that this world will not be amazing for my child. And I will work my hardest to be able to make it so into a trap serve other people to help them grow their businesses so that they can also help me in this mission.

Ari Gronich 1:08:28  

That's pretty awesome. And, you know, I appreciate that. I do I do have an issue though, with with your industry.

Kimberly Spencer 1:08:38  

Yes, oh, I have a few too. So go for it.

Ari Gronich 1:08:42  

industry has turned from has basically turned into what I would say is the same as the healthcare industry. There, the incentives that they've created for themselves are procedure based versus results based, which means that you, you know, you're paying for, okay, there's 30 posts per month, there's, you know, two different channels, and that's what we're gonna do, or we're gonna run Facebook ads for you for this long. We're gonna put 10 of 10 ads up, okay, did they get results? Did they do anything? Are they you know, like, the marketing industry has seen in my eyes has felt like they've moved into just a really lack of integrity space. And, and that is kind of that's kind of where the healthcare industry is. It's just lack of integrity. They do procedures that are not necessary in order to create more billing versus to create more health. Right? If we change the incentives to results based, then we're going to change the outcomes. So that people can actually get what they're looking for. So how do you ensure that this is a loaded? Question? How do you ensure that you're getting results for the people rather than just doing a bunch of stuff?

Kimberly Spencer 1:10:11  

Oh, for me, it's constant. Like I'm in constant dialogue with my private clients on what they're doing. And they have action steps that they need. Like, it's, it's, it's a result of, they also have to show up as well. So it's both parties taking ownership. And it's my job to hold the the bill to hold the standard of what they're working toward, if they say, this is what I want to work toward, that I hold that standard, like my one client, he joked with me a year ago, he said, if you can be if you can help me get this plane, then then then I'll know that you were worth it. And I was like, Challenge accepted. And so within a year, he ended up buying his dream plane. And being able to park it literally writes out outside of his office. And I and he was like, I didn't even think that that was a reality. And to think that that was possible. And I was like I did, because you said so you said this is the level that you want to be playing at. So I'm going to write I'm going to challenge you to rise into who it is that you need to become. And I'm going to have some uncomfortable conversations. And we did that challenge them to rise into that next level same, and it's happened with every single client of mine that I will deliver the challenges that they needed by saying not exactly, I won't say exactly what they want to always hear. And so in the marketing it like in the marketing industry, and I love the fact that you pointed out that it's results driven versus it's not results driven versus process driven. Because like my process, the process is what you sell, so you can sell the process. But you also have to be able to produce results like that, that's where I believe the integrity has to come in. So for example, I didn't raise my prices to what they are now with until I saw that my clients are getting such good results that they were making their money back within a month to two months by increasing their profit and increasing their their income. So I was like, Okay, if they're, if they're able to double their monthly income in the span of three to three months of working together, I should raise my price. My prices are not reflected at that. So I need to I raise my prices because my route of the results that my process was getting. But I think that that comes into like because I and I it's a problem that I have with the coaching industry, of coaches just coming out from like $25 online school saying like, you can charge whatever you want to charge and $25,000 for that. I'm like, that's awesome. You can't Yes, you can charge whatever you want to charge. Can you produce $25,000 worth of results? like can you produce the results that are worth $25,000? Like my one client reconnecting with her kids that were strange, totally worth $25,000? Like she says to this day, priceless? Because that's something that she can never have have even fathom was going to happen. But that's and that's the thing Can you can you? Do you have enough certainty and trust with yourself to go back to that certainty and trust? Do you have enough certainty and trust to produce that level of results like when I first started coaching, I was I did not have certain interests whatsoever. And so I was doing it for like 100 bucks a month in my car because I was totally stuck in doubt. And then once I got certified and then had enough confidence that I had a process that was transformative enough because it transformed me to be able to sell that for $2,000. And so I started selling it for $2,000 my clients were getting great results. They were getting better relationships with their kids, they were releasing past relationships, they were able to heal from divorces, they were able to to start up their businesses like they were starting to get get progress, they were starting to manifest and attract in clients and partners and and deals. And so I said okay, great. So then I raised my prices again, because I saw that they were producing my route. The process was producing the results, but they both have to be in alignment.

Ari Gronich 1:14:31  

That's awesome. You know, I I have this book, this course that I created. It's called the performance therapy Academy certification course it's a continuing education course for the industry. Basically chiropractors, massage therapists, pts, anybody who touches or trains a body really should take that course. And it's it's interesting to me because one of my one of my students The very next day, he calls me up. And he says, we just did one of the techniques that you gave us to do for my autistic daughter, who has massive, uncontrollable anxiety attacks, that lasts sometimes hours, and usually in the middle of stores. And they used this technique. And within 30 seconds, she was calm. And then another one said to me, I had a client come in, she just wanted to learn how to use use the equipment in the gym. And I did some of the things that you wanted, you know, that you taught me to do. And now it's three months later, and she's lost 50 pounds and is hiking up a mountain in Colorado, you know, and I'm like, that's what makes me feel good. Not the information, the teaching of the information, it's fun, you know, it's like, it's like, cool. But that's the thing that I get charged by, I get, I get my energy goes, whoo, when I hear the results of the people that I've touched, and I just wonder how much better people would feel about themselves if they did the same thing. And, and I think it's really all about that fear thing that you were talking about at the beginning, is people are so afraid of life, and they need the money. And so they'll do anything for it. And then they feel bad, but they still keep doing it, because they're getting that that reward, right.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:54  

But how much some degree, sometimes it's even not that much of a

Ari Gronich 1:16:57  

reward. What's better would they feel when they can see the results on a consistent regular basis with multiple people all the time, you know, like, in my world, as a sports therapist, working with Olympic and Paralympic and pro athletes, if I didn't get the result, I didn't have job because they had six months to, you know, or however long to get back to playing a sport where they were making a million plus a game or a, you know, an impure app. And it costs a lot of money if they don't get back to that thing that they're doing. Right. Yeah. And not get the results. You have to have that level of care for the person you're working with, enough to know what to do for them specifically, in order to make it work. And it's just yeah, I I get pissed when, when the systems allow for. I get pissed when the systems allow for people to be taken advantage of that way. Yeah. And, and so, you know, let's get back to to you.

Kimberly Spencer 1:18:10  

I mean, you and I are totally in alignment, because I've never even the thought of not getting a client not getting results is just not even within my wheelhouse. Like that's, that's not even a possibility when, like, it's it. It's Yeah, that the thought that Oh, yeah, I'm going to have you involved with this program, but not get results. I've closed programs because I saw clients I said, this, like, I literally just did this, I saw a program I saw I was making making some nice money, but I wasn't seeing the the participants participate. And I'm like, I know I'm not gonna mother you, but I'm not gonna I'm gonna take this option off the table so that you're not using it as a crutch and so that you can actually do something that it's going to actually enhance you which which was offer, I offered a very new low Pat low cost private coaching package for people making five figures. So if you're not yet making six figures, I said, look like I get it you can't you can't drop what my clients who are making who are working with me for six to 12 months, but you can do this and I know this because I was in your spot. So I and I so I took the the membership option off the table. I said no more $99 a month because you're showing up. You're showing up at that level. And I'm going to give you this option, and some took me up and some didn't. And it just showed me who the dabblers were and who the ones who were really serious were like, you know, this is my time. This is what I want to do.

Ari Gronich 1:19:46  

Absolutely. So why don't you give us about three or four actionable steps actionable tips, tricks, to becoming the influencer that you really want to be in life.

Kimberly Spencer 1:20:00  

So step one, take ownership, you are not your results, you are the cause of your results. So, so often, it's very easy for us to identify with our results, the number on a scale the number in our bank balance room. Instead, those numbers are just a reflection of the actions that we've taken. So instead of getting down on yourself for like, Oh, I don't have this or Oh, I, I gained five pounds, or Oh, I did this thing. Or Oh, my social media numbers dropped or whatever it is, look at the actual action steps of like, what did you do this past week that caused that? Look at those action steps and or what did you not do that you had done in the past? Because that will give you that will give you a very clear tactile playbook. As far as like what works, what doesn't work for what you're looking to grow? Another tip is to question what you know, quite just ask yourself the question question what you think, you know, whether that's a belief, because everything we're we're working with our beliefs every single day, and they're so unconscious to us? So say, for example, something is just as silly and as simple as like, a belief like, Oh, this, the client turned me down. So that means that, you know, I struggle with sales doesn't necessarily, is it possible that maybe that client wasn't the right client for you? And if so, what else could be possible? Is it possible that maybe your messaging is a little off so that you're not attracting the right? clients? So allow yourself to ask better questions, ask questions that provide instead of saying, like, why is this happening to me? Ask questions that provide moving forward, like what if this happened to you? Or what, what and how questions will always produce more strategy and forward thinking than why questions?

Ari Gronich 1:22:03  

Yeah, I'm one of my mentors used to say, How can it get any better than this? Whether it was horrible. Yep. Really, really good. That question still works. How can it get any better than this?

Kimberly Spencer 1:22:20  

Yep. And I learned this one from my mentor, it was, how is this the best thing that ever happened to you? No matter how awful it was, or the worst, I mean, because and when you look back, because hindsight is not 2020 hindsight, it's an asshole, like hindsight, because you're looking back with the tools and the resources that you have, now that you didn't know when you were making those initial decisions. So in hindsight, it's not really 2020. So allow yourself to ask those questions that can that can, that can lead to greater change.

Ari Gronich 1:22:55  

It is hindsight is 2020. If 2020 is this year, because we've had an asshole of the year 2020 was not what

Kimberly Spencer 1:23:11  

2020 definitely allowed for some pretty powerful perspective shifts, and then my last one would definitely be Watch your language. Watch what you're saying yourself. Just Just watch. Are you saying you can't a lot? Are you saying you'll try a lot? These are words in your vocabulary that imply a lot of effort, sometimes, but not necessarily a lot of results? are you how are you speaking to yourself? How do you think about a problem? When you think about a problem? Do you immediately think, Oh, I can't or Oh, it's that's too hard. Or do you think, oh, heck yeah. Like I can figure this out. I'm going to figure this out. Watch your language observe, like an anthropologist and you will have a lot more perspective as to how you are communicating with yourself to produce the results that

Unknown Speaker 1:23:58  

that you want. Awesome. Yeah, my

Ari Gronich 1:24:00  

son is checking out the Star Wars world. He's watching the Mandalorian right now with I guess, baby Yoda. And you know that there is no dry. Yeah, whole thing. And so I've been working on because obviously, we always say I'm trying to do this. I'm doing you know, I've been working on I'm doing my best. I'll do my best. And yeah, we'll try. Just because that whole, I will do my best is an option. And try doesn't exist. Like, you can't pick a quarter off somebody's hand because either you do or you don't. So it doesn't really exist.

Kimberly Spencer 1:24:45  

And implies a lot of effort, though. And sometimes that effort makes people feel good but or feel feel that necessary social guilt that they feel is required to feel, but doesn't actually produce results.

Ari Gronich 1:24:57  

So how can people get ahold of you if they'd like to To work with you.

Kimberly Spencer 1:25:01  

So you can get a hold of me at Crown yourself com, super simple. And you can also email [email protected]. And I am on all the socials. You can find me at Crown yourself now.

Ari Gronich 1:25:13  

Awesome. Thank you so much for being here. This has been a great episode. I hope you took dubious notes and made it something that you can actually take with you and action upon due today because we always want to create a new tomorrow today. Thank you so much. I'm your host, Ari Gronich, and we'll see you next time. Thank you for listening to this podcast. I appreciate all you do to create a new tomorrow for yourself and those around you. If you'd like to take this information further and are interested in joining a community of like minded people who are all passionate about activating their vision for a better world. Go to the website, create a new tomorrow.com and find out how you can be part of making a bigger difference. I have a gift for you just for checking it out and look forward to seeing you take the leap and joining our private paid mastermind community. Until then, see you on the next episode.