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Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle of people pleasing, constantly putting out fires to keep everyone happy, only to realize you've completely lost yourself in the process? What if the way you're trying to show love is actually destroying your relationships and keeping you from experiencing God's unconditional love?
In this episode, I sit down with Katina Wilkins, author of Love is Complicated, to unpack the exhausting reality of loving difficult people without sacrificing yourself. Katina shares her rock-bottom moment of realizing she felt no love for her own family because she was trapped in performance-based love. Together, we explore the massive difference between being a "peacekeeper" (acting out of fear) and a "peacemaker" (acting from love), and how to set boundaries that honor both God and yourself.
In this episode, you'll discover:
✨ The critical difference between peacekeeping and peacemaking.
✨ Why 1 Corinthians 13 is often misinterpreted in ways that keep us small. ✨ How to identify if you're operating from performance-based love.
✨ Strategies for dealing with family members who keep a record of wrongs. ✨ My personal story of losing my identity in a 33-year marriage.
✨ How to love difficult people without sacrificing your mental health or sense of self.
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Personal Struggles
00:22 Welcome to Let's Heal with Beth Jones
01:14 Guest Introduction: Katina Wilkins
02:43 Katina's Journey and Book: Love is Complicated
05:34 Understanding Love Through Faith
08:00 Personal Reflections on Love and Healing
11:55 Childhood Influences and People Pleasing
15:20 The Impact of Parental Relationships
18:14 The Path to Self-Love and Healing
31:58 The Difference Between Peacekeeping and Peacemaking
37:33 Clarifying Remote Control Dynamics
38:25 Biblical Manipulation and Family Dynamics
38:53 Setting Boundaries with Love
41:30 Challenges of Forgiveness and Moving Forward
44:02 Addressing Long Lists of Transgressions
53:24 Judgment vs. Setting Boundaries
01:05:44 Practical Application of Bible Study
01:09:55 Conclusion and Contact Information
-- FREE RESOURCES --
✨ Download: Empowered Survivors' The Healing Quick Start Guide Empowered Survivors/Heal
✨Podcast on TV: BraveHeartsTV Network launch premiering February 5, 2026 Let's Heal Podcast TV
-- CONNECT WITH KATINA WILKINS –
✨ Website: https://mbmlifecoaching.com/
✨ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katina.wilkins
-- CONNECT WITH BETH -
✨ Website → https://empoweredsurvivors.com/
✨ TikTok → TikTok
✨ LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/in/bethjoneshealingmentor/
#howtoheal #healingmentor #healingjourney #peoplepleasing #traumarecovery
By Elizabeth JonesHave you ever felt trapped in a cycle of people pleasing, constantly putting out fires to keep everyone happy, only to realize you've completely lost yourself in the process? What if the way you're trying to show love is actually destroying your relationships and keeping you from experiencing God's unconditional love?
In this episode, I sit down with Katina Wilkins, author of Love is Complicated, to unpack the exhausting reality of loving difficult people without sacrificing yourself. Katina shares her rock-bottom moment of realizing she felt no love for her own family because she was trapped in performance-based love. Together, we explore the massive difference between being a "peacekeeper" (acting out of fear) and a "peacemaker" (acting from love), and how to set boundaries that honor both God and yourself.
In this episode, you'll discover:
✨ The critical difference between peacekeeping and peacemaking.
✨ Why 1 Corinthians 13 is often misinterpreted in ways that keep us small. ✨ How to identify if you're operating from performance-based love.
✨ Strategies for dealing with family members who keep a record of wrongs. ✨ My personal story of losing my identity in a 33-year marriage.
✨ How to love difficult people without sacrificing your mental health or sense of self.
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Personal Struggles
00:22 Welcome to Let's Heal with Beth Jones
01:14 Guest Introduction: Katina Wilkins
02:43 Katina's Journey and Book: Love is Complicated
05:34 Understanding Love Through Faith
08:00 Personal Reflections on Love and Healing
11:55 Childhood Influences and People Pleasing
15:20 The Impact of Parental Relationships
18:14 The Path to Self-Love and Healing
31:58 The Difference Between Peacekeeping and Peacemaking
37:33 Clarifying Remote Control Dynamics
38:25 Biblical Manipulation and Family Dynamics
38:53 Setting Boundaries with Love
41:30 Challenges of Forgiveness and Moving Forward
44:02 Addressing Long Lists of Transgressions
53:24 Judgment vs. Setting Boundaries
01:05:44 Practical Application of Bible Study
01:09:55 Conclusion and Contact Information
-- FREE RESOURCES --
✨ Download: Empowered Survivors' The Healing Quick Start Guide Empowered Survivors/Heal
✨Podcast on TV: BraveHeartsTV Network launch premiering February 5, 2026 Let's Heal Podcast TV
-- CONNECT WITH KATINA WILKINS –
✨ Website: https://mbmlifecoaching.com/
✨ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katina.wilkins
-- CONNECT WITH BETH -
✨ Website → https://empoweredsurvivors.com/
✨ TikTok → TikTok
✨ LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/in/bethjoneshealingmentor/
#howtoheal #healingmentor #healingjourney #peoplepleasing #traumarecovery