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Create a fundamental change in the global community from a strictly reactive system of medicine that focuses on symptom and emergency treatment to a proactive system based on whole-being health as well as illness and injury prevention. Personally teach and influence at least one million people.

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Ari Gronich 0:00  

Has it occurred to you that the systems we live by are not designed to get results? We pay for procedures instead of outcomes, focusing on emergencies rather than preventing disease and living a healthy lifestyle. For over 25 years, I've taken care of Olympians Paralympians a list actors in fortune 1000 companies decide not get results, they did not get results. I realized that while powerful people who control the system want to keep the status quo, if I were to educate the masses, you would demand change. So I'm taking the gloves off and going after the systems as they are joining me on my mission to create a new tomorrow as I chat with industry experts, elite athletes, thought leaders and government officials about how we activate our vision for a better world. We may agree, and we may disagree, but I'm not backing down. I'm Ari, Gronich, and this is create a new tomorrow podcast.

Welcome to create a new tomorrow. I'm your host, Ari Gronich. Thank you so much for listening in. Remember to rate review, COMMENT, LIKE subscribe, all those kinds of things so that we can start conversations and continue this on. Today with me, I have Nelson Tressler, and he is an interesting, interesting person has an amazing history. I'm gonna let him kind of tell you a little bit about that. But he's the author of the unlucky sperm club, and founder and CEO of I got smarter. So just the two names alone tend to reveal themselves a little a little bit, but I'd like you to kind of explain to the audience what it is that made you in the author of the unlucky sperm club and and how you got smarter.

Nelson tessler 1:59  

Yeah, first of all, thanks for having me on. I really appreciate it. Yeah, I have quite the origin story. So my mom became pregnant with me when she was 15 years old. She was one of 15 children, her father was the local trash collector in a small town. And while she was pregnant with me, her father drove a car into the town square. And there, he spotted two police officers, he stuck a gun out the window and open fire, killing one of the police officers and critically wounding another. My grandfather was eventually brought to stand trial, he was facing the death penalty. And during his trial, my mother testified to the jury that the reason that her father had shot and killed that police officer was that that police officer had raped her and she was now pregnant with his baby me. And that's kind of where it started. My grandfather's first trial ended in a hung jury, because of my mom's testimony, they took the death penalty off the table. But he was eventually found guilty and served the rest of his life more than 40 years behind bars, pretty much leaving behind, you know, his large family of 15 kids, my you know, including my mom, and now me in a small town that kind of deal with the circumstances of what had happened. You know, my story, you know, continues to get go on it apps, you know, it doesn't get any easier from there. You know, my mom eventually becomes 21 and starts to go to bars. And there she finds a peach of a man who eventually becomes my stepfather come to find out that he's an alcoholic, that he is physically and emotionally abusive to me and my mom on a daily basis, and having to deal with that situation. Eventually, my mom has four more children. And because of the lifestyle that's being lived in my home, a lot of the caring for, you know, basic needs for my brother and sister fall upon me. And that has a dramatic effect upon you know, my social life in my schooling life.

I remember looking down at my report card when I was in the fourth grade, excited to see who I'd have for fifth grade and seeing that I had strayed. So my report card and that I'd be repeating the fourth grade. I was placed into special education, you know, I couldn't read couldn't write I still can't spell and eventually, you know, Flash forward. My stepfather was walking home drunk from a bar one night, and there was somebody else driving home drunk from that bar. They ended up hitting and killing him. It was at this time that my mom now has five children. She had dropped out of school in the eighth grade. never worked outside of the home. And as roughest her life has been to this point, losing my stepfather was really, you know, left her with no hope. And it was at this time that she decided that she was going to take her own life. And fortunately, she was not successful. But she was placed in on a psychiatric cold. And at this time, my family got split up among other family members to go live with him, I went to go stay with my grandmother, who is the wife of the man shot and killed the police officer. And it was, my mom eventually recovered and got out of the hospital. But it was at this time that she decided she wasn't going to be able to care for all of us. And I ended up going and living with my grandmother permanently. And for the first time in my life, you know, I kind of had that stable household, you know, even though you know, I'm living with my grandma, who, you know, some of her 15 children are still living at home. And, you know, my grandma's a saint, you know, she's raising five or six other cousins for whatever reasons, but for the first time, I kind of had a stable household to live in, you know, there was no alcohol, there was no abuse. And even though education wasn't a huge priority, my grandma at least expected that you were going to go to school, probably for her sanity, you know, to get rid of some kids for a few hours in the day. But for that first time I was, I was able to kind of really start to reflect upon my life, and what direction it was going. And I remember, you know, one time I was in the seventh grade, and a counselor came from the local university, to talk to us about what we needed to do to get into college, and kind of the bells and whistles went off in my head. And I thought to myself, you know, what, if, if I could be, you know, if I could graduate from college, maybe I could change the direction My life was headed. And, you know, anytime you put those thoughts in your head, that you want to do something different, or something that is going to be difficult, you know, that voice in the back of your head starts screaming at you all the reasons that you can't do it. And I remember thinking, well, you're going to try to be you know, graduate from college, you know, no one in my extended family had ever gone to college, only two people had ever even graduated from high school from my mom's family. And here I am, I'm in special ed, I can't read, I can't write, I can't spell. And I'm talking about going to college. And but, you know, I didn't listen to those voices. My life was not where I wanted it to be. And I thought if I could do this, if I could accomplish this goal, that I really could change the direction of my life, and eventually, you know, the life that I was going to give my future family. flashforward, you know, 12 years later, four different colleges four years in the Air Force, I finally became that first person in my family to graduate from college.

Ari Gronich 8:03  

Wow, congratulations. This is a it's a it's a tremendous story to begin with. What were some of the things that youth feel are different about you and your mindset than some of the other people who have experienced similarly difficult beginnings and, and yet, you know, they're still in that spot of wanting to have hope they're still living, right. So they still have at least a smidgen of of hope. And if you're talking directly to them, they're in the audience. If you're direct directing these comments to them specifically, what do you think was the difference maker in in you, that allowed you to gain that kind of shift and change and pivot?

Nelson tessler 9:09  

Yeah. Well, I think there's a few things. I mean, the one thing I I've always had that long term perspective, I've always looked into the future and really wanted, wanted to kind of realize where I was heading. And I knew the future was coming. And, you know, I also always knew that I was in charge of my ship that that I was the captain of my ship. And, you know, you hear that saying, you can't control the winds. But you can absolutely control the way that you set your sails. And I think so many people want to assign their problems and, you know, their heart aches upon other people or other things or what's going on in the world. And as soon as you assign your problems to somebody else or something else, you lose all control and I think one of the things that has helped me in my life is I've taken control for everything. And I've absolutely taken control for my own success. And as soon as I've done that, then I'm in control. And, you know, there's, there's bad things that happen, you know, you know, it hasn't been a smooth ride. But when you're in control, you can overcome that stuff that pops up. But as soon as you start blaming it on somebody else, or something else, you give away that control. And now the only way that things get better is if they change or the economy changes, or whatever, you've given control to changes, and then you're helpless, just sitting there hoping that somebody is going to change it for you.

Ari Gronich 10:47  

Yeah, you know, it's interesting, because the premise of the show is kind of the world sucks the systems that we're living under suck. We've created these systems, I my saying is we made this shit up, and we can make it up better. And how do we then activate our visions for a better world. And it sounds to me like, the number one thing that you've done is taken personal responsibility for the world around you. And instead of assigning the responsibility to the world around you, to heal or fix you, and that's a really interesting perspective, because it takes away that ability to be a victim. And it gives you the ability to be a victor. But what do you say to the people who really like being a victim? And and really, you know, like, that's where they're getting their juice, and they don't see that they can get the juice from the other from that Victor versus victim?

Nelson tessler 11:52  

Yeah, I mean, you touched on my book, and the subtitle to that is, you're not a victim of your circumstances, you're a product of your choices. That's what I would say is, and you talk about, you talk about changing the world or the world around us. But you know, what, if you focus on your own world, and changing your own world, you don't need to change everything else that's out there affecting everything else. I mean, I can only control the things that I can control. And I think a lot of times is people want to change, you know, they want to change, try to stop the waves of the ocean. But you know, what, what they really need to focus on is changing themselves. And when you start to really focus on yourself and changing your world, that's when the world will change. Because the only thing that you're in control of is you, you can't control these other things. And as soon as you start changing your world, and start changing your mindset, and changing your attitude, that's when the world starts to change for you. Because we all live in the same world. But we all don't look at the world the same way. And if we're, you know, we're going to find what we're looking for, you know, if we're looking for everything that's wrong in the world, or everything that's wrong with the people around us, guess what you're gonna find it. But if you're looking for everything that's good in the world, and the good things about the people that you surround yourself with, you'll find that as well.

Ari Gronich 13:24  

Awesome. So let's go get into some, some techniques, some some of the minutiae of what you talk about in your book, because I don't like to just kind of throw out the phrases and throw out the theories and the concepts I like to give the audience things that they can do, and actionable things that they can do. And I'm going to, I'm going to use me as an example. So that I'm going to let you kind of refer back to this particular thing. So my entire life, there's been parts of me that have felt like I'm a burden. Right? So as I did, and, and abused, and you know, growing up, I had medical conditions. So Pete, you know, my family needed, needed to take care of me a little bit differently than, say, my brother who didn't have all those issues, right? So he may not have that same feeling of, I'm a burden. And so therefore, I can't ask for help. Therefore, I can't do this, right. You know, those, there are things that that were in my life were out of bounds, so to speak, like asking for help. I had to do everything myself. I have, you know, it's like those kinds of issues. I know a lot of people have that, but they also have others. So why don't you just talk to that a little bit and then how in your book you kind of and I don't normally promote somebody's book, but I am going to give you the opportunity to explain the techniques, the tips and tricks that are in there that help people get through whatever it is that they're going through, and hopefully non conceptually more of like actionable kinds of things. Yeah.

Nelson tessler 15:19  

Well, thank you, I mean, that one of the biggest things that ever changed my world and my outlook on life, is the concept of things only have the meaning that you're willing to give them. And I mean, that hit me like a ton of bricks, is you get to give meaning to everything that happens to you in this world. And when you get to give meaning to everything, why on earth? Would you ever give anything a negative meaning, and I know, I know, I've lived through some horrible things and some horrible circumstances in my childhood and in my, you know, adult life. But what I found is when you dig deep enough and hard enough, and like I said before, if you're really looking for something good, or what I can learn about this, or how can I use this to, you know, get me to where I want to go, you'll find something, you'll find something in there, you know, you get to tell your own your own story. So you get to tell yourself what this means to you. And as soon as you start assigning good things to think, you know, you know, supposedly bad things that happen to you, as soon as you start to see the good and those things and give it a positive meaning. That's when you start to, you know, create, get energy from it. And, you know, I told you guys my origin story, and that used to drain me that used to weaken me, I ran, I literally ran across the country to get away from everything that that story represented to me. And for the last, you know, 1718 years, nobody knew about that story, except my wife, my kids didn't know about it, my friends didn't know about it, my coat, nobody, because I was running from it. But then I decided, you know, what, that happened to me for a reason. You know, all those things happened to me for a reason. And then I started to say, you know, what, what if I could share that story, what if people could would hear this story and get inspiration and motivation to take control their own lives, and all of a sudden, I gave those circumstances in my life a positive meaning. And now, you know, instead of it draining Me and Me hiding from it, now it strengthens me and I and I am get fired up whenever I talk about this story. Because I know that there are people out there who are going to hear my story. And they're going to realize that you know, they are not, you know, a victim of circumstances, they're a product of the choices, and all they have to do is start taking control of it, start giving these negative things, a positive meaning in their lives. And it will make all the difference to them. It sounds

Ari Gronich 18:05  

like like, from pain to purpose is you know, a distill it of what you just said, right? You take the pain and you turn it into a purpose. So in my life, you know, I do a lot of work with athletes who are injured with emotional release work with I've worked a lot with vets and PTSD, because of the experiences that I had growing up. So I turned my pain into purpose. And that allows me to and it may be a slow, maybe a slow healing, but it allows me to heal me as I turn that purpose on to other people. And, and it's kind of interesting that that you've stated that, you know, I feel like everybody needs to turn their pain into a purpose and then act on it. So that's the next step is now that they have that purpose now that that pain is rewired in their head. Have this happened for me and not to me, then lovely. Yeah.

Nelson tessler 19:17  

Yeah. No, and I mean, the one thing that you think a pain, you think, well pains there, it can be there to help us right. If you get too close to a fire or, you know, something that pain, you know, lets you know, Hey, get back. And again, it's it's the meaning that you're willing to give it and it's not that the pains not there. It's that you're giving it a different meaning you're giving it a positive spin, you're giving it you know, a meaning to where it's going to motivate you to help others who are maybe going through that and look at it a little bit differently. It doesn't take it away. It doesn't take away all the bad things that have happened to you. It It's just, you know, I love that you said, you know, this isn't happening to you, it's happening for you. And when you start to look at things that way is like, Why is this here? Why is this here? What is it here to show me teach me, help me strengthen me, when you start to look at it that way, then you gain energy from it you gained, you know, a way to bring it into your life and really, you know, propel your success as opposed to, you know, shackling you to, you know, a bad situation that, you know, is going to kind of keep you tethered, where you are right now.

Ari Gronich 20:39  

Yeah, you know, it's funny, Jim Rohn I like to kind of quote Jim Rohn a bit and Buckminster Fuller was the inspiration for the book a new tomorrow. And you know, Bucky already,

Nelson tessler 20:51  

I think you've froze, can you hear me?

Ari Gronich 20:53  

I can hear you. Yeah, I can hear you.

Nelson tessler 20:56  

Okay, great.

Ari Gronich 20:57  

We can always pause because the editor can, you know, take out stuff. So. Okay, so, editor, take out the blanks in the phrasings. What was I saying?

Nelson tessler 21:13  

Jim Rohn,

Ari Gronich 21:14  

Jim Rohn, Jim Rohn, Buckminster Fuller. So Bucky, who was one of the inspirations for the book, a new tomorrow, found himself in his late 20s, at the edge of the Detroit Lake, I guess, and Michigan, and he was about to walk in and kill himself. And something said to him while he was knee deep in water, no, not the right thing to do. And he ended up turning that pain into a purpose. He became one of the greatest thought leaders of the last century, created the geodesic dome, I mean, just he contributed a massive amount to society. And as I was saying, Jim Rohn, who says things like, you can't change the wind, don't change the rain, don't change the sunshine. Yep. And you learn to change yourself. Everything gets better. And this is obviously a paraphrase of what Jim Rohn says, but the other part of what what he talks about is that kind of mentality is, he'll say, in the first five years of my career, I was penniless and broke and working really hard. And the next five years ago, five years, I became a millionaire. And he says, do that, you know, he asks kind of satirically, do the next five years have to be like the previous five years, no, because we are humans, and we can change the course of our lives forever by making different decisions. And he says the number one thing that he did is worked on himself, and not his business, he worked on himself. And that is what made the difference in his business and in his entire life to where he could become this very sought after consultant, speaker and so on. So it sounds kind of like similar to what you're saying. So Well, yeah,

Nelson tessler 23:31  

I love Jim Rohn. Yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry.

Ari Gronich 23:34  

Let's get back into that somebody wants to change themselves. Where would you say that they should start?

Nelson tessler 23:42  

Right where they're at. I mean, that's where we all have to start. And I think a lot of people want to be in a certain situation, or wait for a certain time. You know, wait next week, next month, next year, whatever. But start right where you're at. You know, that one of my other favorite quotes is, we don't necessarily have a knowledge problem, we know what we need to do, we have an execution problem, we just don't do what we know we need to do when we need to do it. And, you know, start where you're at. And, you know, you know what, that one thing that you can do, no matter how small it is, just do it. And it's kind of like walking through a thick cloud of fog, you really can't see too far ahead of you until you take one step. And then all of a sudden, you can see one more step in front of you. And we can't let that wall of fog stop us because we we don't see what's beyond it. What when you will see beyond it is as you continue to take those small steps. And you start to see a little further and a little further and a little further. So start exactly where you're at. And you know, again, you don't have a knowledge problem. You have an execution problem. You're just not following through with what you need to know. If you if you really do feel like you have a knowledge problem, go to Google, and you'll have a billion results in less than a second. Pick one of those things and just start working on it now.

Ari Gronich 25:12  

Yeah, so you know that we I call it Dr. Google these days, because that's how people are finding out about medicine. Yeah. You know, if I, if I were to get a billion results, asking, you know, how do I change my life today? What would be some specific phrases that you might want to use to narrow down the search? Because people are going to get a billion responses with a billion different ideas? Yeah. And so I, you know, the suggestion that I have, and I would ask you this is, what do we choose? I'm overwhelmed. There's too many choices.

Nelson tessler 25:54  

Yeah. Well, I mean, you touched on it. And, and I use a lot of Jim roans, theories and thoughts. I've loved him for 20 years. So you'll see a lot of that stuff and my stuff. But working on yourself is absolutely the place to start. I mean, Jim Rohn is exactly right. I mean, if, if you want something better, you need to become better. And I've, I've used goals in every area of my life. I mean, I became obsessed after you know, graduating from college, I became obsessed with goals and personal development, and really thinking about, you know, the version of myself that I had been, and then act, actually realizing that, you know, this version of me is not necessarily the version of me, that needs to continue, that I could get better that I could figure out things in. And as I worked on myself, you know, all of a sudden, the things that you want, actually start to come to you because you're becoming that person that can realize those goals. So where I would tell people to start is get crystal clear on what you want, like, know exactly what you want in your life, know, know what that is, and then be crystal clear on what it's going to take to achieve it. And then pick small steps and start working on it every single day. And there's, you're going to struggle, you're going to fall down, you're going to forget about it for a day or a week, or maybe even a month, but then get back up and keep going. Because time is our most precious resource. I mean, there's nothing we can ever do to get a second of it back. So I mean, I try to live my life where I don't waste any time. And I give time that reverence that it is I mean, without it, there's nothing we can do. So use it. It's, you know, times the great equalizer to everybody gets the same 24 hours in a day. It's it depends on what you're willing to do with it. That's gonna make or you know, make your life the way that your life ends up being.

Ari Gronich 27:59  

Yeah, absolutely. I'm going to pause for a second. So hold on one second, I'm just going to pause the recording, please at my door. All right. So I wanted to start somewhere, you. I think that from what you said, start with the goal, I want to take it a step back. And my suggestion is to start where you're at meaning to write down every single thing that you feel good, bad, ugly, about yourself about where you're at, and get really clear, crystal clear, like you said, on where you are, and in place where you want to go, and what is stopping you in the middle, right? So where's the barrier between where you want to be and where you are now. But I feel like if if people start just with the goal, then they may not get to the things that are stopping them. Because they're there, they're not going to identify those things. So that would be the only caveat I would say to what you were you were talking about is that you might want to start with just writing a list. Here's where I'm at, here's my history, and get it down on paper. Because it's going to be your origin story, kind of like you have for when you are in a completely different space. So it's going to be the thing that inspires you. It's going to be the thing that moves you forward. It's going to be the thing that is going to allow others to really connect with you as you're moving towards those goals.

Nelson tessler 29:52  

Yeah, and I couldn't agree with you more. I mean, you know, not to promote my program, but I got smarter. The Oh, and I got smarter, you know, stands for the obstacles that you're going to run into. And we all kind of know what, where our struggles are and, and what's going to happen that could kind of knock us off, you know, reaching our goals. So it's so important to kind of write out those obstacles before you come to them. So that when you do come to them, you know, exactly, oh, here's this obstacle, you know, I knew this was going to happen. And here's what I said I was going to do when it popped up. And now you don't have to kind of rethink it, or, you know, be shocked that all of a sudden, this popped up, but you know, it's like watching that horror movie, you know, for the first time, it's gonna, you know, somebody pops out and scares you, you know, it's gonna scare you and kind of knock you off your game. But if you've watched that movie five times, and you know, this is the scene that's gonna pop up and scare you, you're, it's not going to affect you the same way. It's the same thought process is, I know, this obstacle is going to come You know, whatever it is, and, and here's how I'm going to overcome it when it does come.

Ari Gronich 31:03  

Yeah, the other thing that that I, I would just kind of just popped in my head, as you're, as you're saying, that is journaling on a regular basis, and saying to yourself writing in here, I had this reaction to this person's doing this thing, or this thing's doing this thing. And this was the reaction and then try to trace back to where you first had that reaction, or why you might have had that reaction, because that would at least give you a little more clarity on where it is that you're, you're tending to be in reaction versus response, and, you know, and so on, but that was just something that like said, It popped up when you were as you were saying that, but try to write down. Here's what happened as a fact, like, my car's tire got got a nail in it, for instance. Yeah, I reacted, like why me? This is always happening to me. And then what is it that caused that reaction in you instead of Hey, I Oh, I needed a new tire. I mean, this is perfect opportunity. Right? You can see it those different ways.

Nelson tessler 32:19  

Yeah. I mean, the gold program, you know, that that I've touched on, it has that journal every night, your your journaling, and every night you're having, you know, our evening ritual is reflecting upon what happened in the day. And, you know, what went well, what didn't go well, and how you reacted, I mean, it's all about being very mindful of what's going on in your life. And that way, when you're mindful when, when you know what's going on, when you know what's happened, when you know what you you know how you reacted to it, then you can take steps to really react in a way that's going to fulfill your goals, as opposed to, if you're just kind of going through life without purpose, and without really reflecting upon what's going on, all of a sudden, you wake up, and it's 10 years later, and you're like, crap, you know, I thought I would be so much further ahead, I thought I would be here, I thought I would be there. Because, you know, you weren't, you weren't really living life with purpose, you weren't reflecting upon your life each day and realizing that, you know, things are happening to me, and I have control of them.

Ari Gronich 33:28  

Right. So, you know, listening to you and like, think about for the audience, think about a boat that is floating out to sea, and it has no one at the helm. So the rudder is just kind of moving you every which way with the waves, right? And then imagine that you have the GPS and you have it set to course. You still have to set and reset and assess, are you on course, but at least you have a trajectory of where you're going to go. I think that the like planes are almost like 80% off course for their entire flight. But because they have that trajectory of this is where I'm going. They always know how to get back on course. And if you don't have that trajectory, there's no course so you can arrive at an undesigned destination. This is another Jim Rohn or a well designed destination. And the idea is that we're going to arrive at well designed destinations because that's what we plug into our GPS.

Nelson tessler 34:42  

Yeah, I mean, that's a great analogy. I mean, you can just kind of be thrown from wave to wave you know, as you live your life or you can have that crystal clear destination that you want to reach. And just like you said, I mean with an airplane, you might fall A course or things might not go the way that you want them to. And it's, you know, if you want to get to a certain area in your life, you're going to have to make course corrections. And that's the great thing when you have concrete goals is that you can make those course corrections. But if you don't know where you're going, if you don't know what your goals are, it's impossible to make a course correction, when you don't know where you're going. And that's what goals do for you is they give you that destination. This is where I want to be this is when I want to be there. This is why I want to be there. And now all of a sudden, as the world tosses, you, and you have those ebbs and flows in your life, you can make those course corrections, whether there's very small ones, or they're big ones, but you're going to end up there, no matter how much you were off course, on your journey, you're eventually going to make it there if you don't quit. Right, so

Ari Gronich 35:54  

let me ask you this. You mentioned in your history, four years of Air Force, so I just want to know how that influenced this kind of part of your thinking. And, and what you what you are, the benefits of your experience in the airforce gave you towards making this, you know, next journey in your life?

Nelson tessler 36:19  

Yeah, I mean, the Air Force checked a lot of boxes for me. I mean, the reason that I joined the Air Force was I, you know, I went to I went away to college, to I played football. And but I couldn't afford to go back, you know, I got a couple bills in the mail and wasn't able to, to pay them. And, you know, I knew what I wanted, I wanted a college degree. And so I had to figure out a way to pay for it. And the Air Force was kind of that way the GI Bill. But the Air Force also checked the box that got me out of that small town that I was in to where I had so much baggage and represented, you know, so much stuff that I had to overcome. So when I joined the Air Force, I figured out how to get money for school, and then it got me away from that town. And all of a sudden, what I realized is I could be anybody that I wanted to be because there was no more, you know, that kid, you know, who was involved in all that stuff, I literally could be come Nelson, nobody, I could become whoever I wanted to be. So there was that. And then, you know, the Air Force taught me so many things. I mean, it taught you discipline, it taught you responsibility, you know, it opened your eyes to contrast, like a whole big world out there, you know, I was over in Saudi Arabia, and got to see how those cultures lived in over in Turkey and see how that culture live. So the Air Force was, you know, definitely a great decision for me, and definitely changed the direction of my life and gave me a lot of tools and knowledge that, you know, I eventually ended up using and continue to use to this day.

Ari Gronich 38:00  

So when you were overseas and experiencing these different cultures, especially in kind of war torn countries, what was your experience of, of the people there and how they dealt with the the kind of stresses of life that that war? And obviously, there's a little more control from the society? You know, yeah, that kind of thing.

Nelson tessler 38:31  

Yeah, I mean, it was eye opening, because, you know, I'm this, you know, I'm this young guy from a small little town, and haven't been exposed to a lot of stuff. And then you go over to Saudi Arabia, and you see, you know, the way that women have to dress and act and, you know, I remember being in a convenience store and walking down an aisle and, you know, there were these women in their black robes, you know, with only the slit in their eyes showing and, and as soon as I walked into that aisle, they literally ran for me, and you know, come to find out that they they can be nowhere near another man or let alone a US servicemen. So, you know, that that was eye opening to me, you know, the different ways that you know, people were treated. And, you know, when I went to Turkey, you know, a lot of poverty in Turkey. And, you know, I would see young boys, you know, literally 567 years old, who were orphans, you know, out there begging on the street for survival to get food to, to eat another day. And believe me, I mean, that was a slap in the face, you know, because I was probably still in a little bit of victim mode and thinking about my childhood and what I had to deal with and, you know, to see these guys, it kind of put me in my place and you always realize that no matter what situation you're in, there is always somebody praying to be in your exact situation. Because as bad as you know, as bad as our situation is so kind of having that mindset. So, yeah, I learned all that stuff. And I think the biggest thing was contrast. You know, it gave me that contrast of the life that I was living, to the things that were out there, in contrast, can help you in so many different ways. I mean, it can help you to show you that there's a lot worse things out there. But it also can show you that there's a lot better things out there that maybe you can strive to, to realize those things. So contrast is a great thing in your life.

Ari Gronich 40:35  

It's awesome. That's awesome. What What kinds of things do you suggest nowadays, like that you might have not suggested 10 years ago that you've learned in the last 10 years about yourself and about how to do what you're what you're doing, which is changing the world. So how can you take that focus of I've been here, I'm now here, and I'm going there. And make it concrete? For people?

Nelson tessler 41:11  

Yeah, I mean, that I think the biggest thing is to do it. I mean, you know, we talked a little bit about being clear on what your vision is, I mean, you can't really reach a destination, if you're not clear where you want to go. So that's, that's the first step is to sit down and really figure out what you want to do with your life, what direction you want your life to go, and make that crystal clear. And then figure out why you want that and make sure that it's a strong why. And then, you know, setting out and just starting, I mean, there's so many people that want to wait until all the traffic lights are green before they start on their journey. And that never happens. I mean, you know, it's kind of a paralysis by analysis, if you've ever heard that where people, you know, they sit there and they want to make sure that all the T's are crossed, and the i's are dotted. And you know, I'm in the exact right situation to start this. Don't do it. You know what, take that first step, you know where you want to go, you know why you want to go there, take that first step and start don't wait. Because there are so many people that are just sitting back waiting for that perfect situation, to start doing what they want to do. And I just wrote about this today. I mean, today is pretend you are a time traveler day. And, you know, one of the things that that I kind of thought of when I saw that was Somebody once told me the definition of Hell is when the person that you could have became, in this life meets the person that you did become. And that's the definition of hell. And I think we're all going to end up there one day, we're all going to end up at the end of our lives, and we're going to look back, and you know, we all hear it. You know, your so many people are there, they don't have regrets over what they did. They have regrets over what they didn't do. And you know, we're all going to have a life with some regrets. But, you know, try not to have that regret that you are afraid to go after your goals and your dreams.

Ari Gronich 43:23  

Yeah, so let's see. Ready, fire. Aim, Aim. Fire ready?

Nelson tessler 43:27  

That's my motto right there, baby. Ready?

Ari Gronich 43:32  

Which one? Is it? Fire aim? Ready?

Nelson tessler 43:34  

It's ready fire aim.

Ari Gronich 43:36  

Okay. So, you know, some people will say the opposite, which is fire, aim ready, or Aim Fire ready, at least so that you're getting at least the action moving and then you can get ready for what you just did. But yeah, you know, it's, it's, it's an interesting way of looking at it. Because if you're a perfectionist, you're going to ready, but you're going to ready and you're never going to fire and you're never going to aim because you're still trying to get ready. Yep. If if you're on that mid range, you might aim and then fire and then get ready. And if you're on the other side, you're gonna fire before you do anything aim and ready. And and, you know, the truth is I've had friends business, you know, in business that that were that fire, aim ready. And they would always do this spike, right? So because they did massive action, no matter what, they would have a spike of results, and then it would fall and then another spike of results and then it would fall because they at least got something out there. Instead of that analysis paralysis. Instead of That that need for perfection, I know I'm I have that need for perfection a bit in me, I want to make sure that the grammar is correct. And the commas are in the right place and that the words flow properly and all the spelling is proper. And, you know, I had somebody tell me once said, you know, proper spelling has has never made me money.

Nelson tessler 45:25  

Thank goodness for that, because I still can't spell.

Ari Gronich 45:28  

That's what you said at the beginning. And I wanted to latch on to that a little bit. So what what would you consider to be the biggest asset that somebody can can take from the words that you're using, from the things than the thoughts that you're saying, if somebody was listening to this and going, Okay, I'm kind of getting that I'm understanding what he's saying. But the execution side, I'm not really sure how to execute the concepts that are in my head. So if that's the biggest portion, that's that's needed to happen to get the results? How do you get somebody from concept to action?

Nelson tessler 46:18  

Well, I mean, what one of the things that I use in my program is a success partner, I mean, you might tell yourself, you want to do something, you might tell yourself, I'm going to do this every single day. And you might, but a lot of times, people who keep their goals to themselves, when something pops up, you know, they they fall short. But as soon as you introduce somebody else who knows about that goal, who knows what your dreams are, and what your plans are, now, all of a sudden, there's somebody else out there that you've told, you're going to do this, and in the back of your mind, you know, you don't want to let them down, you don't want them to see that you're going to fail. And, you know, that's kind of the secret sauce that I think is, you know, we call them success partners, because they're not there to hold us accountable. You know, you the only thing that you're doing it, accountability is you want to be accountable to do the things that you said, you're gonna do. And that's what this success partners there for. They're there to encourage you, to motivate you to know that you're not in this alone, and you're there to do the same for them. So you're both, you know, seeking and striving to achieve your goals. And it's that support system. And there's been studies out there that you're 95% more likely to achieve your goals or to do what you said you were going to do as soon as somebody else knows about them, and you have that kind of success partner in your corner. Okay, so

Ari Gronich 47:47  

I'm going to caveat that as well. Because, you know, that's what I like to do. I'm a little I'm a little bit of a contract contrarian. So there's a theory that if you put something out that you're going to have the success be at a percentage higher, because you put the thing out there. And now you have to keep your word because you put it out there. There's another theory that says that you want to hold back on telling people because then you don't want to dissipate the energy that is going towards that goal. And then there's a yet another thing about the crab box, which is if you tell people where you're going, they're going to try to hold you down and hold you back, and you're going to create more obstacles. caveat that I'm putting forth is when you talk to somebody about what it is that you're doing. You need to make sure that you're telling the right person and the right people who aren't who are going to be the supportive people versus the people who are going to kind of be those crabs in the crab box holding you back and telling you all the reasons why not?

Nelson tessler 49:08  

Yeah, yeah. And I love that. I love the crab bucket, man. You know, I use that in my book. So, you know, I told with my family, I kind of use that to where I got accepted into college, and I got all kinds of mixed results where oh, you know, you know, or you can't even spell How the heck are you going to go to college? Or, you know, I guess they're letting anybody in the college who has a check, they better try cashing your check first. So I got all of that stuff. And, you know, I talked a little bit about why people act that way. But what again, we talked about that what meaning Are you going to give that I mean, you know what, tell me I can't do something, tell me that I'm not good enough, or I'm going to fail and I'm going to show you that. I'm going to I'm not only going to do it, I'm going to do it much, much better just to show you so what mindset are you bringing when Pete when you have those haters, and, you know, you got to understand what haters are, you know, a lot of times the haters, it has nothing to do with you or what you're doing it has to do with them and what they're doing. And when you kind of realize that, then it actually strengthens you, and it gives you fuel to reach your goals. And that's how I look at it. And as far as the other theories of keeping everything to yourself, you know what I can, I can kind of see how people can think that. I don't agree with it at all. I mean, I've done I've done it both ways in my life. And I mean, I've set goals, and no one's known who they are, I've written them all down. And no one knows when I when I've accomplished them, no one knows if I failed at them. But as soon as I kind of brought a group together, and everybody knew everybody's goals, and they knew what you were shooting for, all of a sudden, I knew I was going to have to see those people. And I knew they were going to ask me, hey, how's this going? And how's that going? And all of a sudden, now I'm just not responsible to myself, I'm responsible to them. And no one wants to no one wants to fail. And when there's somebody out there, who knows what you're working at, now, all of a sudden, there's somebody who, who knows if you're going to fail or not, and not in a bad way. I mean, these people don't want to see you fail, because they want you to be successful. And we can talk about surrounding yourself with like minded people and people who have your back and who are there to support you and understand that, you know, there's more than enough success out there in the universe to go around 100 times. And just because you're successful, doesn't mean that takes away from my pie of success. So there's all those different strategies and techniques and thoughts to think about as well.

Ari Gronich 51:51  

Yeah, absolutely. One of one of my, my guests. Bert Oliva is he's a mindset guy. He's been around 20 plus years does fire walks and, you know, glass walking and, and all those kinds of things, human human potential expert, and he says, you want to go out and you want to five, find five haters a day? Because if you're finding five haters, you're gonna find at least that or more who are supporters? Oh, yeah. Oh, the idea isn't to avoid the haters, it's to seek them out. Which is kind of like what I why I like doing the show because it's a very contrary you know, polarizing show, in some cases, because we believe in nuanced thinking minutiae. Instead of absolutes, of, of extremism, you know, on either side, okay, let's look at the data. Let's look at it and, and let's find out what it is that that we're trying to accomplish and do it. So it was it was a good reminder, what you were just saying, about finding the haters, because it's okay to polarize. The only part of that that's the problem is the, the mindset and what it is that you make that mean, which we are, you know, meaning making machines, human beings are mean, meaning making machines, we can make meaning out of anything. And if you're somebody who had been built bullied in the past, if you're somebody who had been, you know, taken advantage of, or whatever, you could have it mean, that you're not being liked. Or you could have it mean that I'm getting stuff done, that the rest of the population isn't getting done. And so they may not understand it right now. But in 10 years, they're gonna be like, why don't I get on that bandwagon?

Nelson tessler 53:46  

Yeah. And, and I love that you brought up haters, I mean, because, you know, when you put yourself out there, like, I had been really close knit, you know, a lot of the businesses that I own people didn't even know that I own them. You know, I was just that kind of guy. I never wanted to be out there. And then when I published this book, all of a sudden you are out there and the haters came out of the woodwork, you know, people that you knew and family and but you know, and I really started looking at it and what why haters are out there and what they represent. But haters don't hate on things that aren't significant. So if you do have haters out there, look at it as Hey, I'm on the right path here because haters aren't hating people who aren't successful, who aren't significant, who aren't out there doing something that's changing things because there's no need for it. And, you know, again, you realize why haters are doing it, you realize it has really little to do about you and much to do about them. But yeah, I mean, it's not easy to have people out there. But when you look at it that way, again, giving it that meaning is if there's haters out there, I must be on the right track. I must be doing something that's going to you know, change that thing. And another analogy that I love is, you know, the guy talked about the Coast Guard swimmers who jumped out of these helicopters to save a boat crash. And typically there's way more people to be rescued, then they can rescue. And when they jump in the water, he's like, Do you know who they go and save first, it's the people who are swimming towards them. It's not the people who are fighting them. It's not the people splashing stuff in their face. It's not, it's the people who are swimming towards them. And that's the motto that I took when I put myself out there now is I'm not out there for the haters. I'm not out there for the people who are going to splash water in my face and tell me I'm not doing something right. I'm out there for the people who are swimming towards me and want to hear it and who I connect with. And that's who I'm going to try to say that's who I'm going to try to help them, you know, change their lives and help them live better lives.

Ari Gronich 56:01  

That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, you know, we're getting ready to do a promotion for the show. And it's a mastermind group that we're calling the Create a new tomorrow mastermind. And part of the premise of this is a lot of what we've been talking about, which is doing your 100, year, 50, year, 25, year, 10 year, five year one year plans. And I know that sounds a lot to some people, but until you know where you're going, you know, and where you've been, you're never going to be able to accomplish the goals that have set out for you. And we're doing this a little bit differently. Because we address the health concerns as well as the business concerns as well as the life concerns. It's kind of an all encompassing, kind of a life mastermind versus just generalized specific to, to business or those kinds of topics. But you know, it's funny to me, because throughout my life, there's been things that I have not wanted to put out. And I haven't wanted to put out because I was afraid that somebody might steal the idea or do something with it that I don't want it to do, or they might ruin the thought of it, you know, but I learned recently, just through my own processes that I put things out, because nowadays, I don't care if somebody steals my idea, as long as the idea gets done. And the reason I'm doing this show is because so many of the things that I'm thinking about, I can't do them all on my own. So if I give the ideas away, they'll get done, and then I will be calmer because the things that I want to see in the world are going to be happening more. Yeah, I just kind of want to throw that out to the universe into the audience that you want to get started. And who cares? Who gets the credit, frankly, you know,

Nelson tessler 58:11  

I mean, you know, Tesla. Sorry, Tesla did the same thing. Didn't he give away all of his patents? And, you know, it wasn't about the money it was about, you know, getting that out in there into the world. So I mean, that was like, that was like mind blowing to me.

Ari Gronich 58:27  

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, somebody who could literally the the patents and the trademarks. And the those things are the intellectual property of this company and of this person, and yet, what he's giving them away and open sourcing them and tell and encouraging people to use them in their projects and in what they're doing. I mean, that alone, you may not like Ilan Musk, you may love him, you may not like Tesla's you might love Tesla's who knows what, what your feeling is. But the idea is that what he's doing is moving the world forward by the actions that he's taken, which is trusting

Unknown Speaker 59:09  

that

Ari Gronich 59:11  

the idea is going to get out. And that's going to make the world better. So who cares? Who owns it and gets credit for it?

Nelson tessler 59:18  

Yeah, that's amazing. Amazing that he was willing to do that.

Ari Gronich 59:21  

Yeah, absolutely. And if more companies were to do that, guess what? We'd be able to move this world forward faster, fail forward fast, but move forward fast. And, again, shift the world create a new tomorrow, activate your vision for a better world, but do it now versus later because I think so many people are so stuck on what their obligations and response abilities are, versus what they're how their ability to respond is and what they're doing about it, how their execution is, right.

Nelson tessler 59:58  

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, and I think we all have that fear, when we have that great idea, that idea that's going to change everything that we want to hold on to it. But another thing that I found in my you know, in my life is ideas, you know, aren't where it's at, it's, it's the execution on it, and you can give somebody the best idea in the world. And chances are, you know, 99% of those people are never going to act on it anyhow. So I would be a little less fearful of somebody stealing your idea. Because, you know, there's just not that many people out there that are willing to put in the time and the effort, and, you know, to bring it to fruition,

Ari Gronich 1:00:42  

right. So just as a recap of that, for the audience, put yourself and your stuff out there, who cares, who gets the credit for it, as long as it's getting done. So let's, uh, let's just finish this up. Because we've had a great conversation. And I really appreciate you. So as I do with every episode, three to four actionable tips and tricks that the audience can do to create a new tomorrow today. And while we've already given them 100 of them during this, this interview, you know, let's kind of condense them and give them very specific so that they can take it and do it.

Nelson tessler 1:01:27  

Yeah, I mean, the first I'll go back, you know, things only have the meaning you're willing to give them I think that concept in and of itself, will change your life quicker than anything else, look for the good and things. And then, you know, my next concept is, you know, be crystal clear on what you want in your life. You know, know exactly what it is know, when you want to have it, know why you want to do it. And then you know that that's the way that you come up with a plan to actually achieve it. And understand that, you know, we there's going to be obstacles, there's going to be struggles in your life, that's that's the way life is supposed to be. It's not supposed to be easy. So understand that those obstacles are going to come. And then don't, don't be willing to give up on your dreams and your goals and your hopes and the life that you want to live because of obstacles, get around it. It, you know, they too will pass and just know the circumstances that you're in right now are not going to be the circumstances that you're going to be in next week, next month, next year. So you know, if you're in some rough circumstances, right now know that they too will pass. But at the same time, you know, success is not an event success is a process and it's never ending. And you were always continuing to work on ourselves and continue to strive to become that best version of yourself that you possibly can. And, you know, you owe it to the world to become the best version of yourself that you possibly can. And to be out there and and give more than you take.

Ari Gronich 1:03:09  

Awesome, thank you so much for being here, Nelson, I really appreciate it. I know the audience has gotten a lot out of this, if not just you know, the success from beginnings that you've created in your life, and the fact that you've turned it into a purpose to help other people do the same thing. That's just it's an amazing thing. How can people get ahold of you? Where can they find you? And I do want to promote your book and your your app? So why don't you tell them what that is? Just a little bit about it? And how they can find it. And

Nelson tessler 1:03:45  

sure, yeah, thank you. Um, you can go to Nelson Trusler calm, everything is there. My book, The on lucky sperm club, you're not a victim of your circumstances. But a product of your choices is available everywhere books are sold, Amazon's probably the easiest place to get it. And then the app is called the I got smarter app. And it is on all the app sites. And you can download it and right now we're giving away 30 free days. So that you can try it out and make sure it's for you. And then it's only you know, 999 thereafter. I mean, there's no excuses. If you want to change your life and you want help doing it and a plan to do it. That app is that's why I started that app.

Ari Gronich 1:04:28  

Yes. So just give me a little bit more on the app and what its function is so that sure we'll go there. They know what they're going there for.

Nelson tessler 1:04:37  

Yeah, so that the app is a goal fulfillment program. It's everything that I've learned over the last 25 years that I've you know, been a goal and personal development junkie, but you know, there's your crystal clear, you do a self assessment to make sure you know what your goals are going to be. And then there's all the concepts and the theories that I've used. I mean, you know, we have a morning ritual To where you're giving gratitude, you're grateful for the circumstances you're in, you're not satisfied, but you're grateful. And you're learning personal development strategies throughout the app, you review your goals every single day, you know, we only work on three goals at a time. And, you know, so but you're designing what you're going to do that day, and the app automatically populates your task list through this morning ritual. So when you're finished, that you've got a list of the things that you need to do specific to your goal, the most important thing of the day, you know, all those things. So there's never a day if you do your morning ritual that you don't know what you need to do to accomplish your goals. And then the app, you know, has an evening ritual where you're reflecting upon your day, what worked, what didn't work, you know, what did you learn from it? What were your biggest successes, and like I touched on before, you know, the secret sauce is that opportunity to work with a success partner who's also trying to achieve their goals and support and encourage each other through the app real time so that you actually see your goals through to the end.

Ari Gronich 1:06:07  

Awesome. Thank you so much for being here. And I know the audience is going to get a lot from that and from from listening to this episode. So thank you again. This has been another episode of create a new tomorrow I am your host are Ari Gronich, and just wanted to remind you about the mastermind program that we're getting ready to launch if you're interested in it, you're more than welcome to message me comment to me, you know anywhere below the videos that are going to be here or on the podcast pages. And, and remember to LIKE subscribe, read, comment, rate, review, do all those things that you know helps move this conversation forward because we love having these conversations and helping you guys so that you can create a new tomorrow today. Activate your vision for a better world. And we will see you next time. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for listening to this podcast. I appreciate all you do to create a new tomorrow for yourself and those around you. If you'd like to take this information further and are interested in joining a community of like minded people who are all passionate about activating their vision for a better world. Go to the website, create a new tomorrow.com and find out how you can be part of making a bigger difference. I have a gift for you just for checking it out and look forward to seeing you take the leap and joining our private paid mastermind community. Until then, see you on the next episode.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai