Happy #50! We’re amazed to have gotten to this arbitrary round number! To celebrate, we got together with the hosts of The Devil You Don’t Know to determine through rigorous and strict methodology who was the GREATEST SATAN OF ALL TIME. 

Spoilers: Tom Ellis places pretty high. 

So, in a particular order that we couldn’t explain, the 16.5 Satan-type folks that made up our tournament of Satans…

Show notes are a work in progress…

The Angel of Death (well, AN angel of death), Lilith’s consort. 

Master of Orgies, black goat of the sabbath, little-known second-in-command of hell. A Dispatchist favorite.

A very British Satan, from the 1967 Bedazzled.

The force of chaos and destruction in the Zoroastrian/Persian world. Jacob never got around to explaining this factoid, but one of his names is the “Druj,” or The Lie, which is also the name of the alien race in Don Bluth’s Titan A.E.

The most powerful force in the Powerpuff Girls universe. Delightfully theatrical.

Lord of the Flies and the Regent-King of Hell. Jacob thinks he would have placed higher if there was any good art of him.

Tim Curry’s version of the Devil, which is, well, iconic. Also catch the commercial from Match.Com! Fun fact, was originally an animatronic werewolf-griffon thing.

Chief of the Hairy Goat Demons, #2 in charge of the Watchers, and the personification of the fires of Hell. This amazing picture of Azazel is from the amazing “Watchers” collection on Angelarium, with thanks to Peter Mohrbacher.

The last great Medieval satan and the poster child for the absolutely defeated version of the devil.

The great devil of Stage and the archetype of the “Dandy Devil.” More than anyone else, he sets the look of the Devil for the 20th century.

The oldest Satan tonight, the 5000-year-old Mesopotamian god of surprising death, who’s STILL relevent in TV, comic, and RPG!

We knew there would be a bit of an argument between whether this character would be played by amiable, drunk, usually shirtless Tom Ellis or severe, regal, so-very-posh Gwendoline Christie. I’m not saying we made the right decision on this one.

One for the tabletop gamers! Asmodeus is D&D’s god of evil and has been around for very nearly as long as the game.

The foam-flecked manic devil played by Al Pacino. And may we suggest that if you want to celebrate Episode #50 with us you get a John Milton / Kevin Lomax cake? Happy 5th birthday, all of you!

We wish that our only female devil had lasted a little bit longer in this contest, she’s a great character and there’s a lot of love for the 2000 Bedazzled. And yet. 

A legendary crime lord from the 1995 film, The Usual Suspects, one of the great film villians of all time.