THIS Leader Podcast

EP 54 When Feedback Is A Love Language


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In this episode, we explore feedback as one of the most loving things you can do in a professional relationship—and why avoiding hard conversations is actually unkind.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

  • Why We Avoid Feedback: The real reasons we stay silent (and why those reasons are usually about protecting ourselves from discomfort, not protecting the other person)
  • The Cost of Silence: How avoiding feedback leads to resentment, surface-level relationships, and even firing people who never knew they were failing
  • Feedback as Love: Why quality feedback is an investment in relationships and an act of hope for a better future together
  • The ICVA Framework: My four-step approach to make feedback conversations feel less scary—Intention, Concern, Vision, Action
  • Real-World Example: A step-by-step walkthrough of addressing chronic meeting lateness using the iCVA framework
  • When Feedback Goes Sideways: What to do when someone gets defensive, and how to recognize when trust needs to be built first.

Key Frameworks Referenced:

  1. Growth Mindset - Carol Dweck's research on believing people can develop, learn, and improve
  2. "Clear is Kind" - Brené Brown's principle that being honest, even when uncomfortable, is the most caring thing we can do
  3. Radical Candor - Kim Scott's approach of caring personally while challenging directly
  4. Mutual Purpose - From "Crucial Conversations" by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler—establishing shared purpose before addressing concerns

Your Action Step This Week:

Think about one relationship at work where things could be better. Get clear on your intention, picture the shared vision, write down your concerns using "I" statements, and brainstorm possible actions for both you and them. You don't have to have the conversation yet—just do this prep work.

Join the Conversation:

Is feedback hard for you? What strategies do you have for addressing challenging behaviors? Share your thoughts with me on LinkedIn or Instagram @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Don't forget to Subscribe & Share:

If this episode was helpful, please leave a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify and share it with a friend or colleague who's leading through change! To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit. Until next time, lead the way!

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THIS Leader PodcastBy Claire Laughlin