THIS Leader Podcast

In this episode, we dive into the science of emotional contagion and how being intentional about the emotions you project can transform your leadership impact. Have you ever seen someone walk into a room and instantly shift the energy? That's emotional contagion in action. Emotions silently spread from person to person, often without us realizing it. As leaders, learning to manage this contagion is one of the most powerful, and underused, tools at our disposal.

The Science of Emotional Contagion

Research from Princeton reveals how our brains use "mirror neurons" to unconsciously mimic the emotional states of those around us. This isn't just a theory – it has measurable impacts on productivity, creativity, and even physical health through stress hormones like cortisol. Most importantly for leaders, emotions don't spread equally – the emotions of people with more power tend to have a greater ripple effect throughout teams and organizations.

Your Default Broadcast Channel

• Each of us has a default "broadcast channel" – especially under pressure.
• I share a personal story about how my unintentional broadcast affected my young son.
• The importance of recognizing what you're projecting to others, particularly when deadlines loom or unexpected problems arise.
• Why your broadcast matters: "When the pressure rises, all eyes turn to the leaders.

"Rebroadcasting When Your Tone Isn't Helpful

Michelle Gielan's research shows we can consciously choose our broadcasts through a three-step process:

1. Recognize your current broadcast through physical and facial cues
2. Pause and reset – even 30 seconds can make a difference
3. Choose your new broadcast intentionally based on what your team needs

This isn't about being inauthentic or denying challenges – it's about being intentional about which aspects of a situation you emphasize and how you frame difficulties.

The Contagious Power of Positivity

Research by Shawn Achor shows that when leaders broadcast authentic positive emotions (not toxic positivity), it creates a "happiness advantage" with remarkable benefits:

• 31% higher productivity
• 37% higher sales
• Greater creativity and problem-solving abilities
• More resilience during challenges
• Lower turnover rates

I explain why negativity must be addressed as a performance issue and how positive emotions, when authentic, are actually more contagious than negative ones.

Remember, your emotional broadcast is a leadership choice, not just an automatic response to circumstances. When you begin to see your emotions as a leadership tool you can consciously use, you unlock a new dimension of influence and become a true architect of your team's emotional climate and performance.

To learn more about my services and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @ClaireLaughlinConsulting.

Thanks so much for listening to This Leader Podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit.

Sources

1. Achor, S. (2010). The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work. Crown Business.
2. Barsade, S. G. (2002). The Ripple Effect: Emotional Contagion and Its Influence on Group Behavior. Administrative Science Quarterly, 47(4), 644-675.
3. Engert, V., Plessow, F., Miller, R., Kirschbaum, C., & Singer, T. (2014). Cortisol increase in empathic stress is modulated by emotional closeness and observation modality. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 45, 192-201.
4. Gielan, M. (2015). Broadcasting Happiness: The Science of Igniting and Sustaining Positive Change. BenBella Books.
5. Gielan, M., & Achor, S. (2015). The effects of news content on emotions, optimism and subsequent behavior. Unpublished manuscript.
6. Hatfield, E., Cacioppo, J.T., & Rapson, R.L. (1993). Emotional Contagion. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2(3), 96-100.
7. Seppälä, E., & Cameron, K. (2015). Proof That Positive Work Cultures Are More Productive. Harvard Business Review, 12(1), 44-50.

Join Our Fall Masterclass: Reset Your Focus: www.clairelaughlin.com/mytoppriorities starts Oct 19, $49. Four live one-hour meetings, with optional Q&A and additional coaching.

Transform your Leadership with EVOLVE: www.clairelaughlin.com/evolve

You're driving along, and a little light pops up on the dashboard. You know without being told that every light means something different. The tire light doesn't care about your oil, and getting a car wash won't fix a flat.

The same may be true of the frustration, the low hum of anxiety, the burnout, and the resentment we sometimes feel at work. Those feelings aren't something to push through or ignore. They might be warning lights, and each one can point toward a specific kind of clarity that's missing.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

Four kinds of clarity. Last week, Claire said she didn't have a time problem, she had a clarity problem. This week she gets specific about the four kinds of clarity that matter most for leaders, and how to recognize which one you might be missing.

The resentment warning light. Claire shares how saying yes without checking in with her values led to a breaking point, and the question to ask when that light comes on: when I said yes to that, what did I say no to without noticing?

The treadmill. If you're busy every minute and still can't point to something that moved forward, use this three-step path to strategic clarity.

Writing with the wrong hand. Some work gives you energy. Some you do well but it drains you. Understanding our strengths and frustrations helps us plan the work accordingly.

The finish line you never set. If you never define what done looks like, any given project will spill out into all the available moments. Here we talk about how to break a big outcome into steps that each have a clear finish line.

Finding your rhythm. When the four kinds of clarity are in place, you can plan when to push and when to rest, and do it without guilt, because recovery is part of the plan.

Still not convinced? Claire describes the life that can be on the other side of finding clarity.

The 4 Kinds of Clarity

1. Values clarity: your big choices line up with what matters most to you. Warning light: resentment, among others.
2. Strategic clarity: you know the few most important things to work on right now. Warning light: running hard and going nowhere.
3. Contribution clarity: you know where your strengths live and you schedule the rest wisely. Warning light: feeling drained by work that doesn't fit how you're wired.
4. Outcome clarity: you know what good looks like this week, and where the finish line is. Warning light: knowing what's important but never feeling finished.

Try the Finish-Line Test. Pick the single most important outcome for your week, and before you start, decide what "done" looks like. When there's no finish line, work can only stop, it can't end, and every open loop takes up space in your head. Ask yourself three things: What does good look like? What are the steps to get me there? Where's the finish line on each step? If breaking things down doesn't come naturally, try asking your AI assistant to help you name a clear finish line for each step. Then take a breath and notice which warning light made you wince a little. That's a useful place to start.

Resources Mentioned

• Episode 85: Stop Being Busy. Start Being Strategic.
• Episode 87: You Don't Have a Time Problem
• Working Genius, Patrick Lencioni
• Reset Your Focus masterclass: starts October 19, $49. Four live one-hour meetings, with optional Q&A and additional coaching. Register at clairelaughlin.com/mytoppriorities

Ready to go deeper?

If you want to build real clarity, trust, and cohesion into how you spend your best hours, reach out for a free consultation. Visit clairelaughlin.com and click "Schedule a Consult" at the top of the page.

Join the EVOLVE Leadership Blueprint for true leadership development

Subscribe & share: If this episode resonated, share it with a leader who needs to hear it. It helps more than you know!To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me @Claire Laughlin Consulting on LinkedIn.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, so be sure to subscribe.Until next time, lead the way!

Join Our Fall Masterclass: Reset Your Focus: www.clairelaughlin.com/mytoppriorities starts Oct 19.

Transform your Leadership with EVOLVE: www.clairelaughlin.com/evolve

You wake up and the day has already started without you. Before your feet hit the floor, you're running the list — and the one thing you actually need, whether that's five minutes of quiet or a real breath before the chaos starts, is the first thing to go. It feels like a luxury. The list feels like your real responsibility.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

The morning that started it all. Claire reads a journal entry from 2017 — the day she realized her overwhelm wasn't a time problem, it was a clarity problem.

Why your most important work is living on leftovers. The important-but-not-urgent things — strategic thinking, the real conversation you keep meaning to have, your own health — never scream for attention, so they lose to whatever's loudest.

The Clarity Questions. Three questions Claire now asks before deciding where her time and energy go:

1. What am I actually responsible to deliver? Not what's on your plate — what you're actually measured on.
2. What is the best use of my time and focus? Not what you can do well — what only you can do, or do at a level that makes the real difference.
3. How do I get maximum results in the least amount of time? Not cutting corners — getting honest about what "done well" actually requires.

Why this isn't one-and-done. Claire's back in the middle of her own time audit right now — tracking where her hours actually go, not where she assumes they go — and she's honest about what that's turning up.

This week's challenge — the 20-Minute Reset.

Block twenty minutes on your calendar this week, before it gets swallowed by leftovers. Write down everything pulling at you, group it into projects or areas of responsibility, then ask of each one: is this actually mine, and does it need to happen now — or at all? The point isn't to finish the list. It's to see it clearly enough to know what actually deserves your attention first.

Resources Mentioned

1. Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Free Press. (Quadrant II / Habit 3, "Put First Things First")
2. Reset Your Focus masterclass launching October 19th. [4 classes, recorded, $49] · Register at clairelaughlin.com/mytoppriorities

Ready to go deeper?

If you want to build real clarity into how you spend your best hours, reach out for a free consultation. Visit clairelaughlin.com and click Schedule a Consult https://calendly.com/clairelaughlin/30min) at the top of the page.

Subscribe & share:

If this episode resonated, share it with a leader who needs to hear it. It helps more than you know!

To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn at clairelaughlinconsulting.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, so be sure to subscribe.

Until next time, lead the way!

We've all been the referee at some point — spotting the miss, calling the foul, expecting the correction to land just because we named it. If you've ever caught yourself half-composing a performance conversation in your head before it even starts, already a little frustrated, this episode is for you.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• The referee vs. the GPS. Two completely different ways of responding when someone misses the mark — one that penalizes, and one that recalculates and finds the next right route together.
• The four places a gap in understanding can live. When someone isn't doing what you need them to do, the reason usually isn't a lack of effort. It's more often a:
  • Clarity gap — nobody's ever defined what "good" actually looks like here
  • Knowledge gap — they know what good looks like, but they're missing a piece of information
  • Skill gap — they have the clarity and the knowledge, but haven't had the reps
  • Confidence gap — they have all three, but aren't sure they're allowed to make a mistake
• The Fix: Get curious. Ask a question. Explore the territory. Name the pattern you've noticed, without any accusation, and open up a new path to better performance.

Why this is harder than it sounds. By the time we are managing performance, we might already be frustrated. Check your own state before the conversation — are you actually calm and curious, or bracing for impact? — This matters every bit as much as anything you say.

This week's challenge

Pick one person and one behavior that's been bugging you — get curious and make an offer: "Can we talk about this pattern?" Then ask the follow-up question — "When this happens, what happens next for you?" — and let them actually answer.

This gives you real information before you act on an assumption and it helps you spend your energy on the right path forward. One honest answer this week can save you a handful of frustrating conversations later.

Resources Mentioned

• Dr. Becky Kennedy, in conversation with Lewis Howes on The School of Greatness
• Samantha Baltadonis, The Quantum Blueprint
• Join Claire on the Masterclass here- clairelaughlin.com/mytoppriorities.

Ready to go deeper?

If you want to build real clarity, trust, and cohesion into how your team operates, reach out for a free consultation. Visit clairelaughlin.com and click "Schedule a Consult" https://calendly.com/clairelaughlin/30min at the top of the page.

Subscribe & share:

If this episode resonated, share it with a leader who needs to hear it. It helps more than you know!

To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit Clairelaughlin.com and connect with me @ Claire Laughlin Consulting on Instagram or LinkedIn.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, so be sure to subscribe.

Until next time, lead the way!

The best leaders know how to contribute the highest value.

But here's the uncomfortable truth: most of us are so busy doing our work — and doing good work — that we rarely stop to ask if we're doing the right work.

In a recent workshop, I asked a room of thirty accomplished professionals a simple question: how are you measured at work? The room went silent. These were talented, driven people, and they couldn't quickly answer.

That silence is common, and it matters a lot right now. With so much uncertainty moving through organizations, many people are working harder than ever without being sure they're focused on what actually counts. In this episode, I share three practical strategies to help you shift from busy to strategically valuable — without adding a single thing to your plate.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

The Job Pie exercise. A simple, visual tool (borrowed from Korn Ferry) for dividing your role into its real components — project work, stakeholder management, admin, development, the unexpected — and assigning each slice the time it should get for maximum impact, not just the time it currently gets.

The TIE tracker. A tool for tracking your real time allocation so you can compare your ideal Job Pie to your actual one, and see clearly where your time, impact, and energy are really going.

Building your Quarterly Action Plan. Once your Job Pie is clear, this turns it into specific outcomes you can track and discuss with your manager: - Use your Job Pie to list your key areas of responsibility - Define one to five specific outcomes per quarter for each area - Identify the metrics or evidence that will show you're on track - Schedule monthly check-ins with your manager to review progress - Use those check-ins to adjust your focus as organizational needs shift.

Designing your Strategic Development Blueprint. A framework for choosing development that actually grows your value, rather than development that just sits on a certificate: - Assess where you're already adding value, and where the gaps are - Identify growth opportunities tied directly to your key responsibility areas - Choose one to two development priorities per quarter and link each one to a real work outcome.

This week's challenge: Pick one of these three strategies — the Job Pie, the Quarterly Action Plan, or the Development Blueprint — and start with just one conversation this week. Do a little pre-work on your own first: sketch your ideal Job Pie, or draft one outcome you'd want to track this quarter. Then bring it to your manager or your team.

The reason this matters isn't the paperwork. It's that once you can describe your value in clear, specific terms, you stop guessing whether you're focused on the right things — and you give the people you work with a real way to see the impact you're already making.

Resources Mentioned:

1. TIE (Time, Impact, Energy) Tracker — available on my Resource Page: https://www.clairelaughlin.com/resources-overview -
2. Contact Me — send me your leadership questions: [email protected]

Ready to go deeper? If you want to get clear on the value you bring to your role and build a strategic plan around it, reach out for a free consultation. Visit clairelaughlin.com and click "Schedule a Consult" (https://calendly.com/clairelaughlin/30min) at the top of the page.

Subscribe & share: If this episode resonated, share it with a leader who needs to hear it. It helps more than you know!

To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me @Claire Laughlin Consulting on LinkedIn.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, so be sure to subscribe.

Until next time, lead the way!

Most leaders want the same thing: for their people to understand the business. But what if the thing that actually changes how people work together isn't understanding the org chart — it's understanding each other? My guest today, Kris Reyes of the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, built a ten-month leadership program around exactly that idea, and the results speak for themselves: forty applications a year for fifteen spots, year after year, in a company of around 300 people.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• How Leadership Boardwalk came to be. Kris carried the idea for years before he put pen to paper in 2017, drawing on his own experience in Leadership Santa Cruz County — a great community program that, in his view, was missing real leadership development.
• A ten-month structure built around three goals. Kris designed the program so participants would understand the totality of their dynamic company, get to know colleagues they might otherwise never meet, and do real introspective work on who they are as leaders.
• Hands-on days that put people in each other's shoes. Maintenance day means real coveralls, welding, and power-washing. Technical services day means programming animatronics. Security day means (optionally) firing a taser at a target. Participants also shadow a manager on duty for four hours in the fall and a security officer for four hours in the spring.
• The bold decision to build in 360 feedback. Every class opens their own personal 360 feedback report together in December — a vulnerable ask that Kris and Claire agree many organizations shy away from. Kris talks through why he built it in as a given from day one, and what he's watched it do for participants' willingness to seek out feedback going forward.
• Understanding each other, not just the business. Kris pushes back gently on the common leadership refrain of "I just want my employees to understand the business." His take: what actually helps is when people understand each other's day-to-day work well enough to be kinder and easier to collaborate with.
• What it takes to get buy-in. Kris's advice for any leader who wants to build something similar: find someone willing to own it, get leadership to trust the vision instead of demanding an ROI projection up front, and expect it to be a heavy — but worthwhile — lift.

This week's challenge

Pick one department or team in your organization that you personally don't understand well. This week, ask someone on that team if you can shadow them, sit in on a meeting, or just grab twenty minutes to hear what a normal day actually looks like for them. You don't need a ten-month program to start building this kind of understanding. You need one conversation, and the willingness to actually listen to what's hard about their work. That's usually where the real appreciation — and the real collaboration — starts.

Resources Mentioned -

1. Leadership Boardwalk: santacruzbeachboardwalk.com/leadership
2. Leadership Santa Cruz County: leadershipsantacruzcounty.org
3. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
4. Wisdom Takes Work by Ryan Holiday
5. Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver

ABOUT KRIS REYES

Kris Reyes currently serves as the Director of External Affairs and Strategic Development for the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk and parent company Santa Cruz Seaside Company. In his role, Kris directs the company's political engagement, government relations, community outreach, internal and external communications, and press strategy. On behalf of the Boardwalk and Seaside Company, Kris manages public policy engagement on sensitive coastal matters and complex development projects. During his career at the Boardwalk, Kris also launched and leads a leadership development program called Leadership Boardwalk — an annual program supporting and developing the Boardwalk's current and emerging leaders. Kris has served as board chair of the California Attractions and Parks Association (CAPA) for nearly ten years.

ABOUT THE PODCAST

THIS Leader is for leaders in the public sector and beyond who are committed to building workplaces where people do their best work and actually want to show up. Each week, Claire brings you honest conversations with experts in leadership development, workplace culture, and the science of human performance — because great organizations don't happen by accident.

Ready to go deeper? If you want to build the kind of shared understanding and connection Kris describes into how your team operates, reach out for a free consultation. Visit clairelaughlin.com and click "Schedule a Consult" at the top of the page.

Subscribe & share: If this episode resonated, share it with a leader who needs to hear it. It helps more than you know!

To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me @Claire Laughlin Consulting on LinkedIn.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, so be sure to subscribe.

Until next time, lead the way!

What does it take to build a workplace people don't want to leave? Jason Behrmann, City Manager of the City of Elk Grove, has spent years finding out — and he's refreshingly honest that it's still a work in progress. In this conversation, we get into what he calls a "destination workplace": a place people want to work, and a place with a clear vision. Both halves matter, and you'll hear them show up again and again in this conversation.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• Why culture needs tending, not just intentions. Jason talks about the ongoing, sometimes unglamorous work behind Elk Grove's culture — employee surveys, stay interviews, and a willingness to keep asking what isn't working.
• The written leadership expectations he's revised for almost twenty years. Jason shares his executive team expectations openly with the whole organization, on purpose — so employees can hold him and his leadership team accountable.
• A concrete culture investment: solving childcare for shift workers. One example of how Jason's team turns a stated value into an actual policy.
• The council relationship as the make-or-break variable. Jason explains why the relationship between a leader and their governing body shapes everything downstream — staff morale included.
• Turning "no" into a system. When a council member kept asking for one-off favors, Jason didn't just keep saying no — he built clear, repeatable rules that let him say yes within real parameters.

Two Sides of a Destination Workplace

Jason's framework, named from the article he co-authored:

• A place people want to go — the culture itself pulls people toward it, so they don't want to leave.
• A workplace with a destination in mind — real clarity, built together with the people you lead, about where you're headed and how you'll get there.

This Week's Challenge

Write down three to five expectations you hold for yourself as a leader — not the aspirational values on your wall, but the specific, sometimes uncomfortable things you want the people you lead to be able to hold you accountable for. Then share it with them, the way Jason did. It's a small shift, but it moves accountability from something abstract to something visible — and it gives the people you lead permission to name it when you're off track, and to see themselves in it too.

Resources Mentioned:

• City of Elk Grove — elkgrove.gov
• Jason's co-authored article on destination workplaces, forthcoming in the ICMA journal — link to come once published.

About Jason Behrmann:

Jason has worked for the City of Elk Grove since 2015, and has served as City Manager since January 2019, after serving as Interim and Assistant City Manager. During his tenure, Jason has focused on cultivating an innovative, service-oriented organization aimed at exceeding the expectations of its residents and business community. He's led the development of several major city projects, including Elk Grove's first animal shelter and the District 56 campus with its aquatics center, community center, and the Preserve nature area, as well as the revitalization of the city's historic district. Before Elk Grove, Jason worked for the City of Galt for over ten years, including nearly six as City Manager, and has worked in local government for more than 25 years, having also worked for the cities of Bloomington, IN, San Luis Obispo, CA, and Dublin, CA. Jason holds a Master's degree in Public Affairs from Indiana University and a Bachelor's degree in Political Science from Brigham Young University.

About the Podcast:

THIS Leader is for leaders who are committed to building workplaces where people do their best work and are fully engaged. Each week, Claire brings you honest conversations with experts in leadership development, workplace culture, and the science of human performance — because great organizations don't happen by accident.

Ready to go deeper? If you want to build real clarity, trust, and cohesion into how your team operates, reach out for a free consultation. Visit clairelaughlin.com and click "Schedule a Consult" at the top of the page.

Subscribe & share: If this episode resonated, share it with a leader who needs to hear it. It helps more than you know!

To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me @Claire Laughlin Consulting on LinkedIn.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, so be sure to subscribe.

Until next time, lead the way!

Someone at the top makes a decision. A new priority, a new initiative, a new direction. And then it lands on someone else — someone who wasn't in the room when the decision got made, who doesn't have the context or the backstory or the why.

And they're supposed to just execute. Fast.

So they ask a question. They hesitate. And if you're the leader carrying the directive, that response can start to look like resistance.

This week I want to reframe that, because in my world that's not a resistance problem. That's an opportunity.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

Two human reactions directed at each other Nobody wants to be simply told what to do. We want to be included in the decisions that affect us, we want to understand the why, and we want to contribute to the how. When that's missing, what shows up isn't defiance — it's a concern trying to get some air. But the leader on the other side of that conversation is under real pressure too, and that flash of we don't have time for this is just as human. Both reactions are legitimate. What happens next is our episode.

Behind the scenes of a real team training A client brought me in to help her team get better at working with change. She felt like she got constant pushback. I walked into the room and opened with a question. The team she'd described as resistant lit up — with real concerns, meaningful feedback, and tactics for improvement I wouldn't have thought of.

What we're actually calling "resistance" If you're a regular listener, you might remember SARAH — the acronym describing the stages of our reactions to change: Shock, Anger, Resistance, Acceptance, and Hope. Resistance is a stage, not a character flaw, and it isn't a referendum on your leadership. Think of it like a smoke detector: loud, inconvenient, and not the fire. It's pointing at something, and your job is to go find out what.

Why concerns show up in the first place. Your brain is built to notice difference. When everything's the same as it was yesterday, your brain coasts. The moment something changes, it snaps to attention. That's not dysfunction — that's the system working exactly as designed. So when someone on your team raises a concern about a change, they're not malfunctioning. Their brain is doing its job.

The iCVA Framework

A framework I use constantly. It's like an accordion — it scales up to a day-long session and down to a single hallway conversation.

i — Intention. Do your work first. Decide, before the conversation starts, that whatever comes up is information you want and not an attack you need to defend against.

C — Concerns. Explore the other person's experience — their worries, questions, or ideas. Let them flow like water. Don't dam them up, don't redirect them, and don't argue.

V — Vision. Underneath every concern is something the person hopes for instead. Ask the bridge question: given your concerns, what would you like instead?

A — Action. This is the part most of us want to jump to first. But it works far better once the other three are done, because now you're building a plan together instead of selling one.

Try This

First, notice the urge to combat a concern — and don't. When someone raises an objection, there's an instinct to answer it right away with why they're wrong. It feels productive. It isn't. So this week, when a concern surfaces, ask one more question. Then ask one more after that. See what's underneath it before you respond.

Second, run iCVA through one conversation. It doesn't have to be a meeting, and you don't have to announce that you're doing it. Get your own intention straight before you walk in. Ask about their concerns and genuinely stay on their topic. Then ask what they'd want instead — that's the vision. Only then, talk about what to do. What you'll likely notice is that the plan you land on together is one nobody has to be convinced to implement, because it's theirs. A cohesive team isn't one where everyone agrees. It's one that can raise real concerns, be heard, and still find their way to a shared plan.

Resources Mentioned

Episode 9: You ARE a Change Leader — the SARAH model of change reactions — https://www.clairelaughlin.com/09

EVOLVE — not just a program, but a community of leaders working through real situations like this one, in real time, with each other — https://www.clairelaughlin.com/evolve

Ready to go deeper? If you want to build real clarity, trust, and cohesion into how your team handles change, reach out for a free consultation. Visit clairelaughlin.com and click "Schedule a Consult" at the top of the page.

Subscribe & share: If this episode resonated, share it with a leader who needs to hear it. It helps more than you know!

Until next time, lead the way!

What if the biggest factor in how hard a conversation is isn't the other person at all — but it's the mindset you walked in with?

This week I'm talking with Allyson Hauck, a labor attorney who has spent nearly two decades on both sides of the bargaining table. She's negotiated from inside organizations, as the HR Director for the City of Monterey and the Chief HR Officer for Watsonville Community Hospital. And she's negotiated from the outside, now representing cities, counties, and nonprofits across from labor unions. Few people have sat in as many chairs at that table as she has.

We talk about the moment we decide — often before a word is spoken — whether the person across from us is a friend or a foe. And what it takes to catch that decision and choose differently.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

The double vantage point. Allyson has negotiated as management and as the person management hires. She talks about what that dual perspective has taught her about what actually builds trust at the table — and what erodes it.

The mindset shift that changed a negotiation. Allyson shares a story of driving to a tense negotiation, dreading it — and the decision she made in the car that changed how the whole thing went.

The "balloon." Allyson's way of describing what it takes to sit with someone's frustration long enough that real collaboration becomes possible.

Not taking the bait. What Allyson does when someone says something unproductive or provocative, and why reacting to it rarely serves the actual goal.

This Week's Challenge

Think about the last time you walked into a hard conversation already braced for a fight — before the other person had said a word. What contributed to that? It's rarely the other person. More often it's the story you have about who they are and what they want.

This week, take thirty seconds before a hard conversation to name one thing you're genuinely grateful for about the person you're about to sit across from. It doesn't have to resolve anything. Just let it shift the mindset you walk in with — because, as Allyson found, that shift changes what's possible once you're in the room.

Resources Mentioned:

1. Allyson Hauck — Sloan Sakai Yeung & Wong LLP
2. Sloan Sakai Yeung & Wong LLP
3. Book - Ruth Bader Ginsburg - My Own Words

Ready to go deeper? If you want to build real clarity, trust, and cohesion into how your team operates, reach out for a free consultation. Schedule a Consultation.

Subscribe & share: If this episode resonated, share it with a leader who needs to hear it. It helps more than you know!

To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on LinkedIn and Instagram.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, so be sure to subscribe.

Until next time, lead the way!

What if the reason your hard conversations keep landing badly has less to do with you, and more to do with the format you're having them in? Scott Farmer had the same difficult conversation with two colleagues — same preparation, same general message, same care. One conversation in person, the other via video. He describes the difference like a textbook experiment, and the results were not even close.

Scott spent fifteen years in nonprofit leadership and stepped back from his executive role when his organization went fully remote. At the same time, he and Natalia Rivera-España built GOAT Santa Cruz on exactly the opposite bet — that people are stronger, braver, and more creative when they're physically together doing something hard. In this conversation we get into what he's learned from living both models at once.

YOU'LL HEAR…

TWO Experiments Run at The Same Time

Scott left an executive role as his organization went fully remote, and simultaneously helped build a business founded on being physically together. He shares his lived experience about both models.

Community as a Metric

When he and Natalia started GOAT, they decided their measure of success would be community rather than revenue — how many people showed up, how many connections formed, how many friendships they watched begin. He describes finding more security in that than in the savings account he'd been chasing.

What We Lose When We Can't Interrupt Each Other

Turns out interruption is very important. Scott makes the case that the best ideas come from people building on each other's half-finished thoughts — and that this kind of creative collision is nearly impossible on a video call, where interrupting feels rude.

All Carrots No Sticks

Having stepped back from his executive role, Scott has no authority to require anyone to come into the office. What he built instead started with him showing up on Thursdays, buying lunch, and promising conversations that had nothing to do with work.

Levity As a Belonging Tool

Naming project teams after nineties pop songs. Gremlins. Thundercats. It sounds trivial until you see the belonging it creates on a distributed team.

Why Healthy Conflict is Harder Through a Screen

Both of us care a lot about healthy conflict as the doorway to real commitment. Scott is candid that he hasn't fully cracked the code on this one, but he shares what's helped: starting with people you already trust, preparing and then sharing your preparation with the person you disagree with, and modeling disagreement in front of your team.

This Week's Challenge

Think of one working relationship needs attention. One where you're still perfectly cordial on video, but you can't remember the last conversation that felt real.

Now consider what it would take to be in the same room with that person. A coffee, a walk, a drive across town? Think about making that effort.

Scott's point is that the format isn't neutral. It's doing something to the relationship whether we're tracking it or not. Noticing which relationships have quietly thinned is how you find the ones worth spending travel on.

Resources Mentioned:

1. Ep 49: Building your GOAT Mindset with Natalia Rivera-España
2. GOAT Santa Cruz — Group Open Air Training
3. Ecology Action
4. Crucial Conversations — the framework Scott's organization trained on
5. "Pandemnesia" — Claire's blog post on what we've quietly forgotten since the pandemic

Ready to go deeper?

If you want to build real trust and cohesion into how your team operates — including when your people are working remotely— reach out for a free consultation. Visit ClaireLaughlin.com and click "Schedule a Consult" at the top of the page.

Connect with me @Claire Laughlin Consulting on Instagram and LinkedIn. New episodes are released weekly—share with others who might benefit!