THIS Leader Podcast

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Jared Fujishin—who wrote his PhD dissertation specifically on nonverbal communication—to explore how leaders can close "the trust gap" between their good intentions and actual connection with their teams.

You might spend hours crafting the perfect message, but if your nonverbal signals are sending a different story, your carefully chosen words won't land. Jared breaks down the often invisible ways leaders accidentally communicate disinterest or unavailability, even when their hearts are completely in the right place.

Start with Authenticity: The Inside-Out Approach

Before diving into techniques and tactics, Jared emphasizes three foundational steps:

• Connect to your purpose first. Are you genuinely finding joy and meaning in your work? Authentic nonverbal communication flows from this inner alignment, not from memorizing gestures or "hacks."

• Link back to that purpose when you don't feel like it. On tough days when fires are blazing, and your inbox is overflowing, reconnect with why you're there and what matters most.

• Then apply the practical strategies. Once your heart is in the right place, specific nonverbal skills become tools to express what's already inside you.

Strategy #1: Facial Expressions—Your Smile Opens Doors

Your face is often the first thing people notice, yet it's the hardest element for you to monitor yourself. A genuine smile and "happy eyes" create approachability and signal safety to your team.

• Bring intentional warmth to meetings, even when you're exhausted

• Read the room—match your expression to the emotional context

• Remember: people can tell when you're smiling, even on phone calls, because it changes your vocal tone

Strategy #2: Timing—Responsiveness Communicates Value

In our age of instant responses from AI and bots, delays can feel like dismissal. How quickly you respond—and what you say when you do—tells people whether they matter to you.

• Acknowledge immediately, even if you can't solve it immediately. Reply quickly to say "I see this, it's on my radar, and I'll get back to you by [specific time]."

• Think from their perspective. If something is important enough for them to reach out to you, it deserves a timely acknowledgment—even if it's not your top priority.

• Use time to level the playing field. Quick responses signal respect and reduce the power gap between you and your team.

Strategy #3: Artifacts—Put the Devices Away

This is the game-changer. Physical objects in your environment—especially phones and laptops—communicate priorities louder than your words ever could.

Research on "The Mere Presence Effect" shows that simply having a phone face-up on the table during a meeting drastically reduces how connected, seen, and valued people feel—even if you never look at it. When the phone is flipped face-down or put away entirely, trust and engagement skyrocket.

Practical applications:

• Close your laptop when someone enters your office

• Flip your phone face down (or better yet, put it in a drawer)

• Set up your office to be welcoming—comfortable seating, no massive desk barrier between you and others

• Create physical accountability systems (Jared built a box with his son where he deposits his phone and watch when he gets home)

The Big Takeaway: Be Fully Present

In our hyper-connected, always-distracted world, being truly present with another human being might be the greatest leadership gift you can offer. Your team doesn't need perfection—they need you to show up fully, put down the screens, and communicate through every channel available that they matter.

Resources Mentioned:

• Learn more about Jared's work at fujifirm.com

To learn more about my services and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit.

Welcome to Episode 46! After the incredible response to my recent episode on leading change, so many of you reached out asking, "But what about when people resist anyway?" This episode is for you.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• The many faces of resistance and what those behaviors are really telling you
• The most common sources of pushback (and why they're usually legitimate)
• How to lead change proactively so resistance doesn't take root
• What to do when you're leading a change you don't fully believe in
• How to engage constructively when you're the one feeling resistant

Key Takeaways:

Resistance usually stems from five common sources: lack of clarity about the WHY, feeling excluded from the process, disagreeing with the direction, compromised trust, or unrealistic expectations. When you see behaviors like disengagement or constant questioning, don't assume you know what's driving them—get curious and ask.

If you're leading change, do your homework before implementation, include people early and often, lead with clarity and empathy, and stay curious when you encounter pushback. If you're in the middle—leading change you don't fully support—find what you can authentically stand behind and be honest about what you don't know.

And if you're feeling resistant yourself? Checking out doesn't serve you. Engage constructively by asking questions, offering input, and showing up as a leader even when it's hard.

Resources Mentioned:

1. Episode 43: Navigating Change with the 4P Framework
2. Episode 37: Escaping The Drama Triangle
3. SCARF Model (Rock, 2008)
4. William Bridges' Managing Transitions

Citations:

• Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others.
• Bridges, W. (2009). Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change (3rd ed.). Da Capo Press.

Join the Conversation:

What practices help you stay grounded during overwhelming times? Please share your thoughts with me on LinkedIn or Instagram @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Don't forget to Subscribe & Share:

If this episode was helpful, please leave a 5-star review wherever you listen to your podcasts and share it with a friend or colleague who's leading through change!

To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Thanks so much for listening to this podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and I'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit. Until next time, go lead the way!

Welcome to Episode 45! In this episode, I'm sharing my all-time favorite end-of-year ritual, a powerful reflection process that transforms lessons learned into actionable guidelines for the year ahead.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• The three essential reflection questions that reveal meaningful patterns in your year
• How to turn lessons learned into memorable "guidelines"—short, powerful statements that become your North Star
• Why identifying your "big wins" matters more than creating an overwhelming goal list
• The magic that happens when teams do this work together
• How to plan for what truly matters without adding to your overwhelm

Key Moments from the Episode:

The episode walks you through a complete framework adapted from the book "Your Best Year Yet." You'll learn how to look beyond obvious accomplishments to find quiet victories, acknowledge disappointments without wallowing, and identify the patterns that reveal your most important lessons.

I share my own guidelines like "do less," "plan the work," and "first things first"—and how these simple phrases help me redirect when I'm tempted to overcommit. You'll also hear why adding a giving-back element to your ritual creates deeper meaning and connection for your team.

Resources Mentioned:

1. "Your Best Year Yet" book
2. Free consultation available at clairelaughlin.com

Coming Soon:

Episode 46 will tackle your questions about leading through change! We'll cover how to handle pushback, manage resistance, lead change you don't agree with, and navigate all the messy, complicated situations that arise. Send your questions to [email protected]

Join the Conversation:

What practices help you stay grounded during overwhelming times? Please share your thoughts with me on LinkedIn or Instagram @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Don't forget to Subscribe & Share:

If this episode was helpful, please leave a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify and share it with a friend or colleague who's leading through change!

To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit.

Until next time, lead the way!

Last week, we explored how change affects you personally. This week, we're focusing on YOUR ROLE as a leader when change is happening—because your team is looking to you to guide them through their transitions.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

Managing Your Team's Threat Responses (The SCARF Model)

• • Status: How to provide reassurance without making promises you can't keep

  • Certainty: Sharing what you know about the change and the process, even when details are unclear

  • Autonomy: Giving people choices and a sense of control during uncertain times

  • Relatedness: Creating space for emotions while guiding people back to action

  • Fairness: Acknowledging perceptions of unfairness without fueling resistance

The Stockdale Paradox: Why your team needs you to hold two truths simultaneously—unwavering faith in the future AND honest acknowledgment of current difficulties

The 4P Framework for Leading Through Change: A step-by-step approach using Purpose, Picture, Plan, and Part to help your team navigate transition

• Purpose: Sharing the WHY behind the change
• Picture: Painting a vision of the future AND the journey through uncertainty
• Plan: Providing the roadmap and timeline
• Part: Giving people a role to play in the change

Real-World Application: A detailed example of how to use the 4P Framework during organizational budget cuts and restructuring

Key Takeaways:

• Don't promise what you can't deliver—transparency builds trust more than false reassurance

• Share what you know about the process, even when outcomes are uncertain

• Give people choices and ways to contribute—autonomy shifts resistance to engagement

• Make space for emotions AND help people move toward action

• When people have a part to play, they become participants rather than victims of change

Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 43: Navigating Personal Change (listen first for foundational concepts on SCARF model, William Bridges' transition model, and the Change Heat Map)

Loooking Ahead:

Episode 46 will tackle your questions about leading through change! We'll cover how to handle pushback, manage resistance, lead change you don't agree with, and navigate all the messy, complicated situations that arise. Send your questions to [email protected]!

Citations:

• Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. NeuroLeadership Journal, 1(1), 44-52.

• Bridges, W. (2009). Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change (3rd ed.). Da Capo Press.

• Collins, J. (2001). Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap, and Others Don't. HarperBusiness. [For Stockdale Paradox]

Join the Conversation:

What practices help you stay grounded during overwhelming times? Please share your thoughts with me on LinkedIn or Instagram @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Don't forget to Subscribe & Share:

If this episode was helpful, please leave a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify and share it with a friend or colleague who's leading through change!

To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit.

Until next time, lead the way!

Change is exhausting - even when it's a good change. In this episode, I share a story about my own recent emotional roller coaster ride and walk you through the neuroscience and psychology of why navigating change hits us harder than we think. You'll learn practical frameworks to understand what's happening in your brain and a simple exercise to map what you're actually carrying so you can take better care of yourself through transitions.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• The SCARF Model: Neuroscientist David Rock's framework reveals five ways your brain perceives threat during change - Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness. Understanding these helps you recognize why you're feeling "off."
• Change vs. Transition: William Bridges teaches us that change is external (the event), but transition is internal (the psychological journey). You can't skip the hard middle part.
• The Three Phases of Transition: Every change involves an Ending (letting go), a Neutral Zone (the uncomfortable in-between), and a New Beginning. You might be in different phases for different changes happening simultaneously.
• Why Positive Change Still Registers as Stress: Your brain doesn't distinguish between good and bad change - it all requires adaptation, and adaptation requires energy.
• The Change Heat Map Exercise: A practical three-step process to list your changes, feel the feelings without judgment, and visualize what you're navigating across four quadrants (positive/negative and chosen/imposed).

Highlights of the Episode:

1. My Personal Emotional Roller Coaster Story: How an innocent comment from my husband triggered an emotional reaction - and what it taught me about the invisible weight of navigating multiple changes.
2. The SCARF Threat Response: Learn which of the five areas might be activated for you right now and why that matters for your emotional regulation.
3. The Power of Naming Emotions: Using Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart to move beyond "stressed" or "overwhelmed" and identify what you're actually feeling.
4. Three Practical Strategies:

• Lower Your Expectations: Give yourself permission to operate at 75% during seasons of significant change
• Create Quiet Presence: Release tension through breathing, exercise, or time in nature
• Lean Into Your Support Network: Build deep, honest friendships with self-aware people who can hold space for your messiness.

Resources Mentioned:

1. Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart: A comprehensive guide to understanding and naming 87 different emotions and experiences - essential for the "feel the feelings" step of the Change Heat Map.
2. David Rock's SCARF Model: Research on how our brains respond to social threats during change.
3. William Bridges' Transition Model: The definitive framework for understanding the psychological journey through change.

Links & References:

1. Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. NeuroLeadership Journal.
2. Bridges, W. (2009). Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change (3rd ed.). Da Capo Press.
3. Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. Random House.

Join the Conversation:

What practices help you stay grounded during overwhelming times? Share your thoughts with me on LinkedIn or Instagram @ClaireLaughlinConsulting.

Don't forget to Subscribe & Share:

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another leader who might need this message right now.

To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @ClaireLaughlinConsulting.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit.

Until next time, lead the way!

Just days before Thanksgiving, I'm sharing something deeply personal—a practice that keeps me grounded, energized, and honestly, keeps me from becoming a grumpy old person. This episode is about the power of soaking in what's right and good, even when life feels overwhelming.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• Why gratitude can feel complicated – and why this isn't about toxic positivity or pretending hard things aren't hard
• The turning point – How a desperate decision to take just 10 minutes of peacefulness each morning transformed my life
• My daily practice – The simple steps I take each morning to fill my soul and set a positive foundation for the day
• The cost of chronic negativity – How focusing on what's wrong creates a downward spiral that affects you and everyone around you (remember Episode 13 on emotional contagion?)
• Finding balance in the both/and – How to hold space for both the joy and the tension that holidays (and life) bring
• When appreciation flows naturally – Why forcing gratitude doesn't work, and how to cultivate the soil so appreciation grows organically
• A simple invitation – One small practice you can start tomorrow morning to shift your perspective

Special Offer & Resources Mentioned:

1. "Living Your Values" course at clairelaughlin.com/livingyourvalues (Be sure to listen to the episode to get a special discount code for this course!)

Episode Referenced:

Episode 13: Emotional Contagion – How your emotions impact everyone around you

Join the Conversation:

What practices help you stay grounded during overwhelming times? Share your thoughts with me on LinkedIn or Instagram @ClaireLaughlinConsulting.

Don't forget to Subscribe & Share:

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another leader who might need this message right now. To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @ClaireLaughlinConsulting. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit. Until next time, lead the way!

In this episode, I explore the tension between capability and genuine desire with Stephanie Sonnenshine—a former CEO who led one of California's most influential organizations through a pandemic and major transitions, then made the intentional choice to step away and pursue coaching and consulting work that truly lights her up.

If you're a high-achieving leader who finds yourself saying yes to opportunities simply because you can, this conversation will help you pause and ask the more important question: Is this what I actually want?

The Capability Trap: When "I Can" Becomes "I Must"

Many driven leaders fall into a pattern: an opportunity presents itself, you're capable of doing it well, so you say yes. Then another opportunity comes. And another. Before you know it, you're ten years into a career path driven by competence rather than genuine desire. Stephanie shares how she navigated this exact tension—becoming CEO not because it was her lifelong goal, but because the opportunity aligned with her deep commitment to the organization's mission and her core value of integrity. The key insight? Sometimes the big role is the right choice—if it comes from internal clarity rather than external expectations.

Developing Self-Awareness: The Foundation of Intentional Choices

How do you know if you're being driven by what you think you should want versus what you actually want? Stephanie offers practical wisdom:

• Work with a coach. A skilled coach creates space for you to listen to yourself and make decisions aligned with your true motivations, not just your capabilities
• Consider therapy. Particularly for leaders, therapeutic work helps you understand patterns from your family of origin and personal issues that may be driving professional choices
• Examine your motivations. Ask yourself: Is this work that genuinely energizes me? Or am I pursuing it because of status, external validation, or because I think I should?
• Understand consequences. Every choice has an outcome—positive or negative. Spend time deciding whether you can accept those consequences before moving forward

The Power of Slowing Down Decision-Making

One of the most actionable insights from this conversation is about embedding pauses into your decision-making process:

• Create structural pauses. In organizational settings, build clarity around decision-making roles—who needs to be informed, who provides input, who must agree—so you naturally pause to gather the right voices
• Question your responsibility. Just because you're capable doesn't mean every decision or action is yours to own. Ask: Is this truly my decision to make? Am I responsible for everything?
• Give yourself grace. You'll still push too hard sometimes (like Stephanie did, rushing to that wedding). The goal isn't perfection—it's awareness and the ability to course-correct

From Regret to Clarity: Making Peace with Your Choices

Stephanie shares a powerful reframe: her biggest regrets aren't about things she tried that didn't work out—they're about opportunities she didn't pursue. Like turning down the Peace Corps in her twenties because it didn't feel like "forward movement." Looking back at 50, those two years would have been invaluable. The lesson for achievement-driven leaders? Sometimes what feels like a digression or pause could be the most important move you make.

The Freedom in Conscious Achievement

Here's what this conversation isn't about: rejecting ambition, avoiding big opportunities, or downplaying achievement. Stephanie has no regrets about becoming CEO—it was absolutely the right choice at that time. And her transition into coaching and consulting is the right choice now. Both decisions came from internal clarity. Freedom isn't in rejecting achievement—it's in choosing it consciously, from the inside out.

What resonates most: Leaders who recognize themselves in this pattern of capability-driven decisions, who feel the weight of always saying yes, and who are ready to develop a healthier relationship with achievement without losing their drive to make meaningful impact.

Resources Mentioned:

• Learn more about Stephanie's coaching and consulting work at Sonnenshine.com

To learn more about my services and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit.

Do you wake up Monday mornings with subtle dread—not because you hate your job, but because you've stopped growing? You're competent, maybe even excellent, but you've plateaued. Meanwhile, opportunities surround you, but you're not sure how to position yourself to seize them.

Sherri Thomas has successfully rebranded herself four times across different industries—from radio DJ to Fortune 100 career strategist. Her journey includes impressive wins (like a 56% salary increase) and devastating setbacks that taught her how to strategically navigate career transitions.

• The Three Types of Career Opportunities:
• Given opportunities: Jobs posted on boards like LinkedIn and Indeed
• Hidden opportunities: Positions in the corporate undercurrent that never make it to career pages—accessed through strategic networking
• Created opportunities: Projects and roles you generate by volunteering on high-profile initiatives. One client who hadn't been promoted in four years volunteered just two hours weekly on a high-profile project. Within four months, he was promoted. Four months later, he was promoted again—twice in one year.

Sherri's Venn Diagram Exercise When feeling stuck, Sherri drew three intersecting circles representing responsibilities she wanted. After creating ten versions, she found a combination that excited her—surprisingly, it didn't include her bread-and-butter skill of marketing. Sharing this vision with her manager landed her a challenging project and a 22% raise.

Stop waiting for a promotion. Identify where you can add unique value right now.

Your Next Step

Stop waiting for someone to move you up the ladder. Draw your own Venn diagram with three responsibilities or skill areas you want. Create ten versions. Find the combination that genuinely excites you. Then identify one high-profile project where you can volunteer your unique value—even just two hours weekly.

Resources Mentioned:

1. Sherri Thomas's books: The Bounce Back
2. 5 Steps to a Powerful Personal Brand
3. Connect with Sherri at YourLeadershipLab.com
4. Follow Sherri Thomas on LinkedIn

To learn more about my services and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @Claire Laughlin Consulting. Thanks for listening! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit.

In this personal episode, I share my journey from chronic people-pleaser to assertive leader and reveal practical frameworks for finding your voice. Growing up too agreeable cost me career opportunities and wrong relationships. The key insight: when nothing is important to you, it's easy to get pulled into anything important to others.

Key Concepts:

Three Communication Styles:

Passive - Avoiding conflict, not advocating for needs

Aggressive - Bulldozing over others' needs

Assertive - Being honest about needs while respecting others (the sweet spot)

Two Types of Assertiveness:

Boundary-Setting - Saying no to protect time and energy

Path-Carving - Knowing yourself and speaking up with ideas

What Holds Us Back: Fear of being disliked, lack of self-knowledge, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome

Practical Frameworks:

The I-Statement: "I feel [emotion] when [specific behavior] because [impact] and I need [specific request]." Workplace tip: Consider leaving off the feeling part.

The Transformative Formula: Boundary + Unarguable Statement + Constructive Request Example: "I'm not able to take on another project right now. I want to keep commitments realistic so I can deliver quality work. Could we look together at which priorities should take precedence?"

Assertiveness Staircase:

1. Gentle Assertion - State boundary with request
2. Firm Assertion - Restate more directly with consequences
3. Strong Assertion - Follow through on consequences

Pro Tip: Practice out loud—when tense, you revert to what you've practiced most.

Resources Mentioned:

"Living Your Values" course (Listen to the episode to get the discount code)

To learn more about my services and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @Claire Laughlin Consulting.

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit.

How much of your day do you spend trying to control things that are actually outside your control?

As leaders, we plan and strategize, but often find ourselves spinning our wheels on things we simply can't influence. What if recognizing the limits of our control isn't a weakness, but the key to building stronger teams and achieving better results?

Kate Terrell, former Chief Human Resources Officer with over 15 years of leading transformation at billion-dollar companies, shares how her battle with stage-four cancer taught her the most powerful leadership lesson of her career: focus relentlessly on what you can control while letting go of everything else.

Kate's Journey: From Cancer to Clarity

The gratitude practice:

Even on her worst days during treatment, Kate committed to writing down one thing she was grateful for—shifting from achievement-focused to appreciation-focused

The control principle:

She couldn't control having cancer, but she could control her doctor, her preparation, and her engagement—a mindset that now shapes how she coaches leaders

Building High-Performing Teams

Kate's philosophy is clear: Hire people who are better than you, then get out of their way. She'd rather pull back someone who overstepped than constantly push someone to lean in. The real risk? Holding people back and getting only 60% of their capacity.

Kate's Development Framework:

1. Start with genuine appreciation
2. Describe the specific performance you need
3. Name what you observe them doing now
4. Clarify the gap between current and desired behavior
5. Explain what you'll watch for going forward
6. Follow up consistently

The most powerful leaders don't seek to control outcomes—they create conditions where people can thrive.

Resources Mentioned:

1. Connect with Kate Terrell on LinkedIn

To learn more about my services and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @Claire Laughlin Consulting. Thanks for listening! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit.