this is my most painful episode to date. i revisit the list of my previous relationship & how painful the process at times can be. this is my raw and honest assessment of my feelings. how often do we sugarcoat and try to paint a nice picture of things that hurt us. there are always two sides to a story and just because there are two doesn’t make yours any less true. matters of the heart and muddy, painful, and long. i long for the day where i am unafraid of my love again. until then here i am, still processing.