welcome back, to said out loud, the podcast where we say the things out loud, even when they’re weird, slightly unhinged, or kind of uncomfortable.

hi hello how are you, so glad you’re here!

okay. i’ve tried to make this episode cute and neat and palatable and… no. it’s just not that kind of message. this is one of those episodes where i say the real thing, and if it makes you uncomfortable, then maybe it’s not for you—and that’s fine.

but here it is: i love summer. like i long for it all year. i count the days until the weather shifts, until the sun stays out late, until the grass is green and the air smells like possibility. i want my kids home with me. i crave it.

and it blows my mind how many parents, moms especially, openly talk about how they dread summer. how they can’t wait to ship their kids off to school or camp or practice or anywhere but home. and i’m like… really?

because i want my kids with me every second.

i hate school. i hate what it does to our family rhythm. i hate the rushing. i hate the fighting in the morning. i hate packing lunches. i hate when they don’t eat the lunch i packed. i hate how overstimulated they are when they get home.

i hate the feeling of sending them away for eight hours a day and not knowing what’s happening to them. i hate when they come home with a scratch or a bruise or something clearly went wrong and i wasn’t there for it.

i hate all of it.

and if i could homeschool both of my kids, i would. that’s a whole other podcast. but the point is—summer feels like a second chance. a return to us. and i’m not going to waste it trying to be a Pinterest camp counselor.

i don’t want a color-coded summer schedule.

i don’t want to be a chauffeur.

i don’t want to spend money on some giant inflatable waterpark that breaks by august.

i want to be in the woods. at the creek. on the golf cart. at camp.

i want to sit at the splash pad and watch them play. i want to make pancakes once a week and eat leftovers for days.

i want to just be with my kids.

and i know what makes that possible: expectations.

first, we don’t entertain. like, i’m not in charge of your fun. you are.

my kids know not to say “i’m bored” because i will stare at them like… okay? figure it out. go outside. draw something. ride your bike. stare at the sky. i don’t care, just use your imagination. be a kid.

second, we have a summer chart system.

you do your stuff, you earn screen time. it’s not revolutionary. it’s just clear.

get dressed. brush your teeth. take care of the animals. do your workbook. read. go outside for 30 minutes.

you don’t do it all? you don’t get the iPad. simple. no begging, no “can i just…” nope. it’s all or nothing.

you can earn an hour. or more if you help me with something extra. but you gotta earn it.

and i’ll say it: i think most kids have way too much access to screens and the internet and it’s messing them up.

i’m not saying that to be better-than or judgey or whatever. i’m saying it because i’ve seen it.

we’ve seen it with cooper, he was dealing with anxiety, and in therapy, screen time came up. we scaled it back. and the shift in his mood, his behavior, his attention? wild.

and i’ve seen it in other kids too, kids who stay up all night on their devices, can’t wake up for school, can’t focus when they get there, can’t have a real conversation with another human being. they sleep until 2 p.m. when we’re at camp and then they don’t come out of the camper.

they don’t even know how to play anymore. how to connect.

and in more extreme cases? there’s some scary, messed up stuff happening.

i’ve seen kids become obsessed with violence. kids sharing sexual content with each other. kids spreading gossip and lies. and then the parents act shocked when it blows up—but no one was watching.

and it’s not just the scary stuff, it’s the slow stuff too.

the erosion of attention. the anxiety. the low self-worth.

the obsession with “aesthetics” and skincare routines at age nine. the weird girl-on-girl hate, the comments, the adult jokes they’re not old enough to understand.

my kids aren’t in that. and they won’t be.

i don’t care if they’re the only ones not allowed to have snapchat or youtube or whatever.

i don’t care if it makes me unpopular with other parents. if your kid has unlimited access to the internet and you think that’s fine, we’re probably not going to be close friends. and that’s okay.

but in my house? i want my kids to be kids.

i want them to be outside. to get dirty. to get bored. to find joy in sidewalk chalk and bubble machines and bike rides and setting up pretend stores in the driveway.

i want them to feel the sun and catch lightning bugs and walk barefoot in the grass.

i want them to make up games. to learn how to be with themselves.

i want them to experience summer like i did in the 90s, free, unstructured, and full of real life.

and yes, i still work. i still have things to do.

but the screen chart helps everyone stay in rhythm. they know what’s expected. i get my work done. we all win.

so that’s where we’re at. if you’re looking for a mom who’s going to say “lol same” when you post that you can’t wait for school to start again, you’re not gonna find that here.

i’m the mom crying when august rolls around.

i’m the one dragging summer out as long as i possibly can.

i’m the one sitting on the porch at 9 p.m. in a tank top with bug spray on, watching my kids play flashlight tag and thinking, this is what it’s all about.

if this hits something in you, cool. if it doesn’t, also cool.

but this is where we are.

and this summer, like every summer, we’re going to make the most of it.

because this version of childhood? it doesn’t last forever.

and i’m not going to miss it because i was too busy scrolling, scheduling, or trying to make it look perfect.

we’ll be in the yard if you need us.

love ya mean it

catch ya next time

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