After a three-year hiatus, your favorite irreverent history nerd is back and swinging harder than a British musket at dawn. In this comeback episode, we dive headfirst into the global chaos that was the Seven Years’ War—or as the colonists liked to call it, “The French and Indian War,” because apparently naming things accurately wasn’t their strong suit. We’ll unpack the messy reasons this conflict erupted, who fought where, and why so many Native nations found themselves battling on behalf of Europeans who couldn’t stop fighting over land that wasn’t theirs in the first place.

From the muddy forests of North America to the far corners of Europe, Africa, and Asia, this was the first true world war. I’ll break down why colonists got involved, what they were promised, and how it all unraveled once the smoke cleared. Spoiler alert: France lost big, Britain got the bill, and the colonists got pissed. We’ll wrap up with the Proclamation of 1763 (the one that told settlers to stay in their lane) and the ever-so-polite British expectation that the colonists would help pay for the war they didn’t start. History’s messy, sarcastic, and oh-so-human—and it’s good to be back digging through the dirt.

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