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We may not always get what we want, but we won’t get what we don’t ask for.  Yes, asking can be awkward but that’s where science can be helpful. Questions trigger a mental reflex known as “instinctive elaboration.” When you ask a question, it activates the brain to gather intelligence and seek creative problem solving. A few minutes of courage in initiating the ask may give a big return to both your competence in the skill and perhaps a few extras along the way.