In the late 16th century a group of English settlers left their home for America with the hopes of founding a new colony. Things went pretty bad, pretty quick, so the Governor booked it back to England to ask for help. When he returned the colonists he had left behind had mysteriously disappeared.  To this day no one is certain what happened to them or why the colony was doomed, but this week we are presenting you with a theory backed by evidence and "enhanced" with jokes about sperm, commercial blue water, and a murderous pirate actor. So, grab a drink, settle in, and enjoy this weeks episode of Hundred Proof History titled The Roanoke Colony: We Ain't Found Shit!