In the season finale, Dave and Andy are at a crossroads. Dave prepared Andy a fancy dinner to talk about something. Could it be stories about mythical swords, endangered penises and poop-filled Tinder dates? Yes, but also something more…

 

Something has been brewing and it has something to do with Sir Patrick Stewart and what he left in the freezer (spoiler alert: it’s not Hot Pockets).

 

The stories are all so crazy that they may sound like fake news, but trust us, they’re not. It’s the end of the world as we know it.

 

Dude, did you hear?

 

We’re drinking La Fin Du Monde, a heavy hitting Belgian ale that quite literally translates to… The End of the World.

 

Quickdraws include Hack-A-Shaq, an update on Salvador Dali’s exhumation affair, a questionable Doctor Who casting call, a baptism curtesy of Lord Stanley’s Cup, some surprising troubleshooting advice from Apple and a $700 million misspelling from USC.

 

It’s the return of SWORD WATCH!!!! A little girl visited the lake where the mythical Excalibur was laid to rest and returned with a 4-foot broadsword. That sound you heard was a collective gasp from Arthurian scholars.

 

Some guys really love golfing. Most guys really love their penis. If this resonates with you, then boy does Dave have a story for you.

 

Here’s a new stat for you. A recent move by Chuck-E-Cheese is projected to reduce childhood nightmares by 83%. Andy will explain further. Mr. Freddy Krueger is suing.

 

Dave returns with more unsolved mysteries. A beautiful day at the beach in Britain is ruined by toxic gas and hazmat suits. No one [ROOT ERROR, SYNTAX ERROR] knows why? 

 

Feel like Netflix and chilling even harder? Now you can, with new Netflix-sponsored weed! Sounds made up, but it’s definitely not.

 

A reporter went for a ride on a homemade U-Boat. Her severed torso washed up on the beach. She should have listened to her parent’s advice about getting into submarines with strangers. Especially when that stranger is into MAKING THEIR OWN U-BOAT.

 

A man came home to find his place had been burglarized. You won’t believe what he found lying in his bed! (Yeah, we just clickbaited you. Deal with it.)

 

An unarmed carrier pigeon was shot dead by the police for just doing what it was trained to do. The media has been curiously silent about this issue, but not DDYH! They wouldn't have shot a dove, we know it!

 

Dave has found evidence of even more messages from space. Why is this not a bigger deal?!?! ALIENS. That's why. 

 

Andy recommends The Night Of – an 8-part miniseries on HBO that will make you sweat off all that Halloween candy. It’s like if The Wire had a love child with the Serial podcast and that child became the most intense “who-done-it” in recent memory.

 

Dave recommends Twin Peaks skaeP niwT, the show that every show you love owes pretty much everything to. Seriously, if there’s a show you like, it probably was inspired by this show. Stream the first seasons on Netflix, then find the new season on Showtime.

 

Andy doesn’t recommend throwing your poop out the window on a Tinder date. Doo-Doo-d did you hear?

 

Dave doesn’t recommend listening to mermaids and driving your car into LA MER.

 

What happens at the end of this episode might change how you view reality forever. Did you think the show was over? Oh no, it’s just beginning…

 

Dude, Did You Hear will return.

 

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Time to die.